December 11, 2012

After a few minutes of holding one another and sharing kisses tinged with salty tears, Sebastian and Kurt pull apart. Of course Sebastian said yes. Really, Kurt had only beat him to a proposal by a matter of days. Sebastian went into their bedroom to retrieve the ring he purchased for his boyfriend-turned-fiancé the week prior. Kurt began crying all over again as Sebastian slid the ring onto his finger. When he finally composed himself and wiped his eyes he insisted on running to the shop down the block to buy them a bottle of quality sparkling wine to celebrate, chastising himself for not doing so earlier. Secretly he'd been terrified that Sebastian would turn him down and the thought of the bottle sitting unopened afterward was unbearable.

"Don't go, we don't need it. And I feel like newly-engaged sex is a necessity right now," Sebastian pleaded, anxious to get this beautiful man naked and underneath him.

Kurt chuckled and leaned in for a sweet kiss.

"Plenty of time for that soon. I want to celebrate properly, though."

"So do I," Sebastian shot back with a sexy smile.

Kurt kissed him again and set about making himself presentable and bundling on layers in preparation for the biting cold awaiting him outside. Luckily the store was only a five minute walk away. When he was ready to set out, Sebastian tried to corner him and prevent the departure. With a swift side-step he evaded the attempt, smiling playfully and opening the door.

"I'll be back in 15 minutes, tops."

"Wouldn't you rather stay here and top me?"

"You're ridiculous," Kurt laughed. "Seriously, I'll be right back."

Sebastian pouted but conceded.

"I'll be here," he said, "always."

Before he could start sobbing again Kurt pecked Sebastian's cheek and closed the door behind him. Sebastian sighed happily, content in a way he didn't know was possible. He moved into their bedroom, fully intent on being naked and in bed when Kurt returned.

He hadn't so much as removed his shirt when he heard raised voices on the street. While living in the city this wasn't exactly unusual, but these voices were loud and panicked, sounding as though they were coming from right outside. Curiosity won out and he returned to the living room to peer out the window. People were crowded right outside the door to their building, one woman with a phone to her ear and another crouched down beside what appeared to be an unmoving someone lying on the ground. Kurt was not among those standing and surely he wouldn't have gotten far enough that fast to not have seen what happened. Unless…

Sebastian's stomach plummeted and he flew out the door with even putting on shoes. He prayed that he was overreacting and would feel silly about this response in a matter of seconds, once he saw that Kurt wasn't down on the pavement. The sight he met outside the building only served to confirm his worst fears.

His Kurt, his beautiful, precious Kurt was a tangled mess on the ground at the base of their stoop. A small pool of blood seeped from his head and his right arm stuck out an unnatural angle. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving.

"KURT," Sebastian screamed, shoving aside a concerned looking woman and moving fast to get to the place where Kurt lay. His first instinct was to grab the man and cradle him close, but luckily he had the presence of mind to remember just how bad an idea that would be. He looked around helplessly at the small crowd gathered around him.

"What happened? Did someone call an ambulance? Did anyone see it?"

"I called as soon as I saw him fall," a middle-aged woman spoke up. "He was moving pretty fast and he must have slipped because he just went down."

"Oh god, oh god" Sebastian murmured to himself over and over. If an ambulance was coming there was literally nothing else he could do. He spied Kurt's phone lying about a foot away and made a grab for it. Even though he knew the hospital would do it, one thing he could do was call Burt Hummel.

He didn't know how he managed to put together sentences to explain what was going on, but promises Burt that he won't leave his son's side until he can get to the city. If Burt is panicking, and Sebastian is certain that he is, his level tone hides it well. He assures Sebastian that he'll be on the next flight and asks him to call with any news. Sebastian agrees and hangs up, going further out of his mind with worry with every second the ambulance doesn't arrive. All he can do is sit next to Kurt, barely feeling the cold despite his lack of proper clothing, and see that he's still breathing.

When the paramedics do show up, one calms him down enough to encourage him to go inside to grab shoes, a coat and his phone. When Sebastian explains that Kurt is his fiancé and that he is closest thing to a family member that lives nearby, they allow him to join the journey to the hospital.

The hours that follow are a hell the likes of which Sebastian could never imagine. A doctor updated him on Kurt's condition but it was hours before he was allowed to see him. When he finally does he doesn't try to hold back his emotions. He holds Kurt's undamaged hand and cries. He goes through every unpleasant emotion on the spectrum but settles primarily on anger. He can't even pinpoint one thing in particular to be angry at, other than how unfair everything is.

When Burt arrived in the early morning and Kurt still wasn't awake. The cycle of emotions began again and Sebastian was just grateful not to be alone; he wouldn't be able to handle it. There's nothing he can tell Burt that Burt hasn't already heard from the doctor, since Sebastian didn't see the accident and had already recounted the witness' story. Mostly they sit in silence and before Sebastian knows it he's been at the hospital for almost 24 hours without leaving. He's exhausted and hungry, even though Burt had eventually gotten food for them. Burt tried to get him to go home and get some sleep, but Sebastian stubbornly refused. He knew that at some point he'd have to go for at least a little while but didn't want to risk missing Kurt's return to consciousness.

But after one more night of restless snoozing at Kurt's bedside and no change in condition, Sebastian caved and reluctantly agreed to, at the very least, go take a shower and change. He's still wearing clothes stained with the blood that had been on the ground when he sat waiting for the ambulance and he knows that he must look like a complete wreck. There's also no denying that a nap sounds really, really tempting. After making Burt promise multiple times to keep him updated, he started making his way back home.

Inside the apartment he broke down again. The table was still set with the remains of the meal Kurt prepared and they both decided to put off clearing. He saw marks on the wineglass left by Kurt's lips. All in all, the whole place looks like they had both only stepped out for a minute. There was no physical evidence that anything bad had happened and this only enraged Sebastian more. He resisted the urge to start screaming and breaking things, moving instead into the bathroom and slowly beginning to put himself back together. The shower did nothing comforting other than remove layers of grime.

"At least when Kurt wakes up he won't be able to joke about me looking homeless," he said to the empty room. He had to think like this, because believing that Kurt won't ever walk back into this apartment was unthinkable.

He almost chose to nap on the couch rather than face the emotional turmoil of their bed, but he realizes that's just stupid and burrowed quickly under the covers after setting an alarm. It felt like no more than a minute before his ringing phone roused him. He answered quickly upon seeing that it's Burt and pointedly ignored his accelerated heart rate.

"Hey, kid. Sorry if I woke you."

"Nono, it's fine. What happened? Is he awake?"

Even through his eagerness for news he realized that Burt just called him "kid." Burt never called him that. He futilely attempted to brace for the worst.

"He is," Burt said slowly.

Sebastian let out a brief sob of relief, even though he knew a "but" was coming next.

"But he… I don't know how to tell you this, kid…"

"Please. Just tell me," Sebastian said earnestly. He needed to hear whatever it was.

"Sebastian, he doesn't remember you. He thinks he's still in Lima."

Of all the awful possibilities that Sebastian spent the last two days turning over in his mind, this was not one of them. He didn't know how to respond and after a long pause he heard Burt's voice distantly coming through the earpiece.

"Sebastian? Sebastian are you still there?"

"Yeah," he croaked, unsure of what to say next before settling on, "should I… do you think I should come back?"

Burt sighed again.

"Honestly I think you should wait, at least until tomorrow. He's still really confused and freakin' out. I'm sorry."

"Right, right," Sebastian muttered more to himself than to the man on the other end of the line, "ok. I guess, um, call me."

"I will," Burt assured him. "In light of , ya know, everything, I think it's safe to say that I want him to come home with me for awhile. Even if he wakes up and magically remembers everything in the morning he's probably not gonna be able to go back to school in a few weeks. Carole and I can take care of him while—"

"I can take care of him," Sebastian cut him off defensively.

"I know you can," Burt said softly, obviously aware of Sebastian's upset state, "but you have school and a million things to do. You can't just be there all the time. And I hate sayin' it, but right now he doesn't even know where he lives, and depending on how far back this memory loss goes, you might be a total stranger to him."

This last part hit Sebastian like a well-thrown punch. Though he had heard Burt's words earlier, it wasn't until just then that reality truly began sinking in. He imagined seeing Kurt now, only to have him stare back at him blankly. At that thought he swore he could actually hear his heart breaking.

"I'm so sorry, Sebastian, and I know this is gonna be hard, but do you think you could start packing some of his things? Anything might happen the next couple of days, so I don't know for how long he'll be in Ohio—"

"It's ok, I get it. We were thinking about moving soon, anyway, so maybe getting everything packed isn't a bad idea."

It was a lie. They hadn't talked about moving at all. However, now Sebastian was certain that he couldn't stay in this apartment without Kurt. He wasn't even sure that he could stay in this city.

"Oh, ok," Burt said, caught a little off guard, "Thank you. I know this can't be easy for you and I really am sorry."

"You're just protecting him," Sebastian said hollowly, "and I love him, so thank you."

"I'm tryin', kid. I'm tryin'."

Sebastian nodded even though nobody could see him, barely containing a sob. He needed to get off the phone and have a proper mental collapse.

"I know," he croaked, "just… just let me know what I can do, ok?"

"Ok," Burt told him confidently, "Try to take care of yourself, Sebastian."

"You, too," Sebastian managed before hanging up and tossing his phone back on the nightstand. He wanted to cry and scream and beat the living shit out of something, but at the same time he felt entirely numb. At some point he lay back down and closed his eyes. He pulled Kurt's pillow over and buried his face in it, finally succumbing to the tide of tears that had been hovering at the edge of his emotions since Burt called. It was like this, with his arms wrapped around the pillow, surrounded by reminders of the life he and Kurt had just started building together, that Sebastian eventually fell into a deep, blessedly dreamless sleep.