The next morning I was awake before anyone else. I hadn't really slept again. Winters had left me to think and that's exactly what I had done. Thought. For hours.

I pushed myself out of bed and immediately dropped to do push-ups. Back to the routine. Maybe if I focused on that, I would stop thinking about her. I counted in my head. One, two… she forgave me. Three, four… said it wasn't my fault.

Reaching my required fifty, I stood up, grabbing a fresh set of clothes and heading to a shower. I scrubbed at my skin until it was red, as if trying to scrub away the guilt. Even after I dressed in fresh jeans and a t-shirt, I looked in the mirror and saw worn eyes looking back at me.

Out in the lounge area, Skye was seated with Winters. The girls were smiling, a cup of coffee in the older agent's hands. She didn't have to hear me to know I was there. Her eyes left Skye's and found mind. "Morning, Agent Ward."

I nodded. "Morning." I went to the coffee machine. I didn't really drink coffee but for some reason, seeing her with a mug made me want one.

Skye continued talking to her. "Wait, they called you 'Clutch?' Why?"

"She can drive anything," I piped up, walking over. "She's a transportation and evasion specialist. Put her behind the wheel of anything with an engine and she'll get you where you need to be."

Winters smiled. "It's been hard not to touch that pretty little thing in the cargo bay."

Coulson descended the stairs. "Don't touch Lola."

She laughed, bright and cheerful. "Got it. I'll stick to the SUV then."

He gave a grin and looked to me. "Coffee?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Interesting."

()

We were headed to Ibiza. There had been a brutal murder, which, in itself, was not something that would normally warrant SHIELD attention. The patron of the Privilege club had not just been murdered, they had been torn open and had several organs missing. That, too, was not SHIELD's main problem.

The patron had been an expert on a mythological alien race that could command elemental powers.

"The patron's name was Isabella Alfieri. She was a mythology profession specializing in Celtic mythology. She was in Sant Antoni de Portmany for a vacation from her home in Wales." Coulson pulled up her image on the holocom. "She was a consultant for SHIELD for the last three years. After the discovery of Asgard, we looked into other possible parallel world. Alfieri specialized in Avalon."

Skye's eyes widened. "Like, King Arthur, Sword in the Stone and magic?"

Coulson nodded.

Simmons sighed. "Magic…"

Winters spoke up. "I can get us around Ibiza."

"I was counting on that. You and Ward are going to take her apartment." Coulson pulled up a map. "We can assume that it's been tossed by the local authorities."

()

And tossed it was. Winters pushed a book aside with the toe of her boot as we stepped into the living room. "She obviously didn't have a housekeeper," she observed.

"Local authorities are less than adequate," I retorted as I stepped over the couch cushions on the floor. "They were likely looking for anything the normal world would consider illegal."

Winters knelt in front of the entertainment center. "Why didn't Fitzsimmons come along with us?" She put on a pair of gloves and gently looked behind a set of DVD's.

"They're taking the murder scene." I had asked Coulson the same thing. But I had asked because I wasn't sure I was ready to be on my own with Winters.

"Ward," she called as she stood, the DVD case in her hand. "Look at this."

I came up beside her and looked down at the case for The Mists of Avalon that she held in her hands. "Yeah?" I didn't see the importance.

Winters opened it, showing a key taped behind the DVD booklet. "Open says me."

I grinned. "Key to the case…"

She rolled her eyes to me. "Puns? Really?" She closed the case. "So we have a key, but where's the lock? It looks small enough to be a safe. But since the police tossed the wall art, we have to assume it's not in the usual places."

I nodded. "I'll check the bedroom. She might have kept it close by her."

Winters nodded and slipped the DVD case into her jacket. "I'll hit up the bathroom and hall closets."

The bedroom was a mess of sheets and clothes strewn about. Even the mattress had been flipped. I sighed heavily and pulled the dressed out some, checking the wall behind it to no avail. Crouching down, I peered under the bed at the hardwood floor panels. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Sighing, I started to push up from the floor, only to feel a panel give slightly under my weight. Pulling out a pocket knife, I popped open the loose board and pulled it off, showing a cloth wrapped item. "Winters," I called as I took it out gently.

Her boot heels clicked as she came in, kneeling down beside me. "Good find."

I peeled back the cloth, revealing a wooden box with Celtic carvings and a small lock. "We should get this back to the bus."

Winters nodded, reaching to recover it and touching my hand in the process. We both glanced up, locking eyes and both feeling that awkward moment. She pulled back first, getting up quickly and losing her balance on her boots, starting to fall. I moved quickly, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her flush to me as I stood, keeping her standing. She rested her hands on my chest, taking a sharp breath. "Sorry," she whispered, her face only a few inches from mine.

My eyes drifted to her lips. I couldn't help but remember what it was like to kiss her. It had only been one night but it was a night that both of us would remember for a long time. And it was the night before she went over the cliff. So many unanswered questions…

"Ward," she breathed, her hands curling in my shirt.

I swallowed and slowly released her. "Yeah, let's go." I snatched up the box and rushed out to the SUV.

()

Fitzsimmons had the box in their lab. This gave us time to sit and think. Great.

Winters was in the cargo bay with May, working out on the mats. Winters was a bit rusty but her muscle memory was intact. May was running her through some basics first to get her warmed up and back into the rhythm. Both women were a blur of limbs and grunts.

This was a new form of torture for me.

Coulson stepped up beside me and leaned on the railing of the balcony. "How did she do in the field?"

I nodded. "Good. She still has her perception and deduction skills intact. We didn't run into any combat but if her sparring with May is an indicator, she's clear for solo ops."

"Has she talked at all about the last two years?"

I shook my head. "No." I crossed my arms. "What did her debrief say?"

"She woke in a small hospital. Full retrograde amnesia. Since there were no missing persons reports, she took the name Jessica Rose and became a farm hand who taught children on the side."

I couldn't help but grin.

"She had a small villa apartment, economical car." Coulson sighed. "She had a normal life." His eyes never left the fight below.

Winters took a fall, landing hard back on the mat and I felt my breath catch. She took a moment to get up, letting May know she was done for now.

Coulson straightened up and watched as they put the mats away. "Do you want to tell me what really happened between the two of you?"

I shook my head.

()

"The box contained a small bit of alien tech," Fitz explained to the group gathered in the war room. "It's a type of communication device but we can't quite tell to where."

"The dimension it projects to seems to be what they were after," Skye continued. "Her journal was still in her office. It mentioned that she was looking into a real Avalon." She was bubbling.

Simmons had to keep from rolling her eyes. "It speaks of a style of land like Glastonbury. It could possibly be a parallel universe."

Skye shook her head. "But there has been some chatter about the whole Avalon thing. I'm still sifting through what's real verses LARP."

I frowned. "LARP?"

"Live action role play," Simmons explained. "People reenacting mythological Avalon in this case."

That was not as shocking as I thought it would be. There had been a lot of people acting out Avengers around Stark Tower after the battle of New York. "So, we find the real talk, check out the groups, see who would have the resources to pull off a brutal murder?"I asked.

Coulson gave a slight nod. "Let's not rule anything out at this point. Skye, Fitzsimmons, keep us posted on the progress."

()

More downtime. Why? Why oh why? I sat down in the lounge with a book and tried to get my mind into any other thought than...

"You wanna run through some weapons?" Winters asked as she walked up. "I want to try and see if I can still get a sig sauer put together on my own."

No. I didn't want to run through drills with her. "Sure." I gave a nod and set my book aside, going with her to the cargo bay and opening up a case of weapons. Winters dove right in, her hands remembering each nook and cranny of each gun presented. We worked in silence. Uncomfortable silence at that.

"Ward?" Winters turned to me. "You can ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"That night. When we..."

I held up a hand. "It's okay. I know that you didn't-"

"Didn't what? Mean to sleep with you? Because I wasn't drunk or anything." Winters rolled her eyes. "Yes, I wanted us to be together."

I almost dropped the clip in my hand. "I see."

"Did you? Or was it more of a stress relief?"

That was the question I was hoping to avoid. Because it hadn't been just stress relief. I had wanted her as much as she wanted me. But the last two years had changed me. I knew more now than ever how relationships and SHIELD were not easily mixed. "Let's get this stuff put away," I instructed, trying to change the subject.

Winters shook her head. "No. We're talking about this."

I took a deep breath. "Yes, I wanted us to be together." I finally looked at her eyes. "I don't think it's a good idea anymore. Not after seeing you go over that cliff."

"So then we just give up?" Her hand was resting on the now loaded gun.

"You're alive, Madera. And I'm so thankful for that. And I will always be your friend." I couldn't look her in the eye. I didn't want to give up. I really didn't. But this was SHIELD and there would never be a safe time for any form of a romantic relationship. Even if my heart ached to just kiss her one last time.

"Go to hell," she whispered as she turned on her heel and marched off.