Obligatory text so that the title is centered.

A Snoggletog Carol

Original Book by Charles Dickens
Idea by Kim
Originally written by much younger amyboomerang and KateMarie999
Rewritten by KateMarie999

I'd like to give credit where credit is due. First off, special thanks to Charles Dickens for the inspiration for this story. Second to my best friend since fourth grade, amyboomerang. Long ago, she and I (and a third friend neither of us speaks to much anymore) wrote a very similar story for a different fandom. I used a lot of the same elements (and a few of the same lines of dialogue) for this story. You'll be getting an update every Wednesday in December leading up to Christmas!

~KateMarie999

Chapter One

The weather had turned bitterly cold but the island of Berk became festive as another Snoggletog approached at last. The youngest members of the village put up their stockings in anticipation for Odin's arrival on Snoggletog night. Even those in the academy felt festive.

"Time to bust out the decorations!" Astrid Hofferson exclaimed excitedly, straining as she carried a very heavy box full of little lights and wreaths.

"We've never decorated the arena before." said Fishlegs with a grin. "It should be fun."

"I can hang the lights on the top of the arena without Hookfang." Snotlout said, winking at Astrid, who rolled her eyes.

"You might have to." Fishlegs added. "Remember? This is the time our dragons all go to Dragon Island to have babies. Isn't that right, Meatlug?" he put his arms around his dragon.

"What about you, Hiccup?" Astrid asked as she began to untangle a string of lights. "You've been uncharacteristically quiet."

Hiccup, who had been engrossed in the Dragon Book, raised his head and registered the fact that his peers were now attempting to decorate the academy. He smiled grimly.

"Sorry, Astrid. I guess I'm just not in the mood." he said with a shrug.

"Oh really?" Astrid asked, crossing her arms and giving him her best intimidating stare.

"Yeah. I don't know what it is. I guess I'm not very… jolly this year. You might want to stay away from me." Hiccup focused his attention back to his book.

"I'm jolly." Snotlout said, suddenly leaning against Astrid and holding some kind of plant over their heads.

Astrid automatically punched him in the face.

"Come on, Hiccup, we've got all the lights and stuff here. Maybe you'll feel festive when you start putting it up." she suggested, looking slightly concerned.

"I don't think so, Astrid." Hiccup said, not looking up from his book. "I'll stick around but just carry on without me. Really, it's okay. In fact, if you want Toothless to help you out, go right ahead and take him. Be sure to get him back home by nightfall."

The Night Fury perked up at the mention of his named and cooed at the boy.

"Well… if you're sure…"

"I'm sure, Astrid."

The note of finality in his voice convinced the Viking girl that he meant what he said.

Snoggletog Eve came at last and Hiccup was uneasy. At first, Astrid had nearly stalked him throughout the village, holding mistletoe above their heads at one point (he didn't kiss her, which she seemed to find incredibly surprising). But for the last few days, she had stopped trying to cheer him up. In fact, he had barely seen her at all. She seemed preoccupied with something but the grin she kept giving him when he did see her made him feel like he should be worried. Toothless had decided to fly off to Dragon Island with the others (after receiving the new attachment Hiccup had made) and so this would be a quiet Snoggletog Eve with his father.

Except his father was acting strange too. The chief had insisted that Hiccup go to bed a bit early instead of helping him with some of the housework. The boy wasn't sure what to make of this but he decided that it probably would be a good idea to get some more sleep. And so he traipsed up the stairs to his bedroom, climbed in bed, and fell asleep instantly.

"Hmm... This certainly tastes weird..."

Hiccup sat up with a start, scanning the room with his eyes until he saw the source of the voice sitting in the corner and making a face at a cluster of berries on his lap.

"G-Gobber?"

Gobber looked over his left shoulder, almost as if he thought Hiccup was talking to someone standing behind him. He turned back to the bewildered boy with a smile.

"Don't know who that is. I am the Ghost of Snoggletog Past!"

"Ohhh boy." Hiccup took a deep breath to calm himself. "Listen, Gobber, I'm not going to make a fuss about you sneaking into my bedroom in the middle of the night, which is, frankly, very creepy, but you don't have to play this game."

"I love games!" Gobber exclaimed, jumping out of his chair and causing the berries to scatter all over the floor. "But I'm afraid that this is no game, Mr. Stooge."

"Stooge?"

Gobber's face suddenly became quite serious, frowning at Hiccup as though he had offended him. "You've been a very selfish man for all these years, never paying your workers fair wages."

"I don't pay anyone anything!" Hiccup threw up his hands, more confused than he had ever been in his life.

Gobber gasped in horror. "Nothing? Not a thing? You are so much more selfish than I thought. You've become someone who never shows love to his fellow man and spends no time with those who love him. You have had many sullied Snoggletogs, resulting in a bitter soul! But you were better off than you thought."

"I… I really don't know what you're talking about…"

"Come, Ever-Sneezer…"

"Ever-Sneezer?" Hiccup shouted, hoping the noise he made would wake his father. "Why did you just call me that?"

Gobber stared at him and raised an eyebrow, almost as if he was just as confused as Hiccup. "Because that's your name. Ever-Sneezer Stooge."

"Even when my friends go crazy, I'm still named after an involuntary reflex…" Hiccup muttered, rolling his eyes. "Gobber, this is ridiculous, it's Snoggletog Eve, let me go back to…"

"Give me your hand, Stooge." Gobber said suddenly, extending his hand.

"I… what?"

"Your hand. Give me your hand." he repeated.

Hiccup stared at the older man for almost a minute, his mouth slightly open. This had to be one of the weirdest dreams he'd ever had.

"Okay…" he said, thinking that he might as well play along for the heck of it. "I'll give you my hand if you stop calling me Stooge."

"What name would you like to take?"

"I'd like to take my real name, Hiccup, back."

"Well, then, Hiccup," Gobber said the name like it was a foreign word. "Give me your hand and we shall fly."

"Um… okay." Hiccup placed his hand in Gobber's and was suddenly yanked toward the window. He looked down the two story drop and pulled back.

"I'm sorry, I'm not suicidal." he said, now beginning to feel slightly worried for his friend.

"We shall fly." He was pulled forward again.

"Gobber, are you drunk? I'm not joking, I won't go, I- AHHHG!"

Hiccup suddenly found himself falling a great distance and landing hard on top of Gobber. The older Viking got up and dumped him onto the frozen ground. He groaned.

"See, that wasn't so hard, Hiccup!" Gobber smiled.

"What wasn't hard?"

"Flying!"

"That was flying?" Hiccup got up from the ground and gave Gobber a hard look. "That was falling!"

"Maybe that is what you mortals call it, but from where I come from, it's called flying." Gobber said, that irritating grin seemingly plastered to his face.

"Right. Because you're a ghost." Hiccup sighed and rubbed his upper arm, which he suspected would be bruised by the time this was over. "Now what?"

"Well now we take a little trip into the past. Come, Ever… I mean Hiccup." Gobber waved his arm in a grand gesture. "Off we go."

"You know…" said Hiccup as he jogged to keep up with the older man. "If you really are a ghost, how come you can't just float over to where we're going? And… and how come you're solid?"

Gobber gave him a long look and then grinned again. "It's too complicated for you to understand." he said.

"Yeah… or you're a terrible actor." Hiccup grumbled.

They stopped in front of what appeared to be Gobber's workshop. Hiccup reached out a hand to open the door when the older Viking slapped it back.

"Ah ah ah! We are observers only." Gobber snapped in an unusually sharp voice. "Look through the window."

"The window? Gobber…"

"The window, Ever-Sneezer!"

"It's Hiccup!"

"Right, sorry. Window. Now." Gobber grabbed the boy's shoulders and faced him toward the window.

It looked as though Gobber had redecorated his workshop to look like the inside of a residential home. A dining table was placed in the middle where two children, a boy and a girl, were playing. The little girl jumped under the table to hide as her brother ran past her, searching in vain for his lost sister.

A moment later a woman entered and set down some food on the table.

"Who eats this late at night?" Hiccup muttered as the family began to eat. He reached up to rap the window, but Gobber stopped him.

"No use bothering them, Stooge."

"It's Hiccup." Hiccup muttered. "My name is Hiccup!"

"So you've said." Gobber rolled his eyes and pulled Hiccup's arm sharply. "Come on," he said pulled the boy down the road.

"Wait, why did you show me the house?" Hiccup asked as they cut down another street.

Gobber sighed as he yanked the boy along with him. "I showed you the house so that you might know how your pitiful life was before dear Ms. Ruffy, to whom we shall see soon. What a gem."

"Was that supposed to be my family? Gobber, I don't have a sister or a mom, for that matter you know that… And who's Ms. Ruffy?" Hiccup asked, completely bewildered.

"Ms. Ruffnut. You used to call her Ms. Ruffy. She was your first love. Too bad money prevented your from marriage as you originally planned."

"Marriage? The only person I plan on marrying is… well never mind." Hiccup's face went scarlet for a second before he composed himself. "And Ruffnut? There is no way I'd ever… we never… I don't even want to think about that!" he shuddered.

Gobber didn't respond to this, apparently deciding not to press the issue. He did shake his head slightly as they headed toward the Great Hall.

"Now... Here's your first job. The waiter at Tuffnut's. This was when you were twenty-something. This is where you met Ms. Ruffy." He said, gesturing to the window of the Great Hall.

"I… I'm only sixteen!" Hiccup exclaimed. "I've never been twenty anything! And I've never been a waiter either, I was a bit busy being your apprentice!"

But Gobber wasn't paying attention to him; he continued to gesture to the window so Hiccup, deciding that this wasn't a fight he wanted to pick, peered in. There was a party going on inside. The Hall was filled with people dancing and singing merrily. The Snoggletog lights twinkled in the background.

"Hey, that's Heather, isn't it?" Hiccup said as he spotted his friend wandering through the crowd. "I thought she was going to spend Snoggletog with her family."

"That is Shelia." Gobber sighed. "Now, what you should be looking at is yourself and that fine young lady in the back of the room." he pointed back to them. Hiccup shook his head.

"I can't see anyone through the thick crowd. I'm cold. Can't we just go in, or is everyone here a ghost too?" Hiccup asked, rubbing his arms.

"We can go in." Gobber replied, slightly insulted by Hiccup's lack of faith. "Come on."

They entered the room and were instantly hit with a wave of hot air. Hiccup rubbed his hands together numbly, trying to regain feeling in all of his senses.

Gobber didn't want to wait. "Come on," he muttered, tapping his foot impatiently, "let's go to the back and watch yourself and Ms. Ruffy up close."

Hiccup was hauled into the back area and sat in a chair gruffly by the older Viking. In front of him were two young people, one a very young man (though still older than Hiccup), blushing red, and the other was Ruffnut, who was wearing a fancy looking dress. They were standing within four steps of each other. They seemed to be trying to subtly impress the other.

"When the variable is in the box," one was saying, "there are always two solutions."

"What does that mean?" Ruffy asked "young Hiccup" as he announced this. Young Hiccup shrugged.

"I don't know. Fishlegs said it."

"What else did he say?"

"He also said the value inside of the absolute value is one solution."

"Nice." Ruffy smiled shyly. At this time the music started up and people started to dance. "Hey, do you want to dance with me?" She asked suddenly. Young Hiccup went bright red.

"Yeah, sure." He said and took her hand, leading her to the dance floor.

"That's a nice Snoggletog song." Gobber said as Hiccup began to pick out the words of the song.

"Dashing through the snow in a one yak open sleigh… Jingle Bells? They're dancing to Jingle Bells?" Hiccup wrinkled his nose. "Next you'll be telling me that it's a romantic song."

"Oh, it is," Gobber said fondly. "One of the greatest."

Hiccup gave Gobber a strange look. "I'll never understand you dead people."

"I'm a spirit." Gobber replied in a rumpled voice. "I never lived."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Hiccup yawned. "Is it bedtime yet?"

"No." Gobber snapped. "You're such an oaf."

"Oh, thank you for summing that up." Hiccup glared at the man and was promptly taken back out to the road.

"Do you want to get yourself smacked?" Gobber threatened as he yanked the man through the "Berk Past." Finally they got to a bridge.

"Here is the last trip I shall take with you." Gobber muttered into Hiccup's ear. "But this is a very important one. The day you threw dear Ms. Ruffy, your fiancée to the fishes." He muttered as he looked at the water running under the bridge. Hiccup, however, was looking around him.

"This is a flower park..." He muttered. "I wonder how the Snoggletog lights look."

"Pay attention to the bridge!" Gobber snapped.

"Good morning." A voice said. Hiccup looked up and saw a woman standing on the bridge, speaking to a man running to meet her. The man looked similar to Hiccup with slightly longer, spiky hair. He ran up to her, without saying hello and grabbed her wrist gently.

"Look, Ruffnut!" He stuck out his hand. "I finally got it in! My first payday! I got it from the business this morning. My partner and I - we're doing so well!"

"That's great, Stooge. But, Ever-Sneezer, I need to speak to you. I want to get married soon."

"But… but the business just began! Ruffnut, I need more time." "Slighty-Older Hiccup" took her hand gently. "I can't go now."

The girl burst into tears and pulled away from him and he stood insensitively on the side of the bridge and watched her. Hiccup marveled at Ruffnut's acting; he hadn't known she was so talented.

"Come on, Ruffy." "Slightly-Older-Hiccup" said quietly, using her childhood nickname. "I just need..."

"You keep promising me that we can get married soon, but you care more about your money than you care about me." She wailed. He stood uncomfortably, as if waiting for her to stop and be okay.

"Could you please...? Stop?" He asked, a little twitchy. She just sobbed harder.

"You HATE me!" She cried.

"No, no, I love you." he took her gently by the shoulder. "I love you. Understand?"

She broke away from him, still crying. "Then please let us get married and not worry about your money."

"But, we need something to... to fall back on!"

"You've got money, Stooge, its not like you're poor! Please, just let your partner handle the business for one day!"

"You know," Hiccup said from where he was sitting on a bench behind Gobber, "he looks a bit like my neighbor's nephew... Actually, he looks a lot like him..."

"Stooge, he's you."

"It's HICCUP." Hiccup snapped. "And I've never spoken to the nephew, so I've never really noticed him. I don't know who you are talking about!"

Gobber glared at him and walked towards the couple on the bridge.

"Listen," she begged him, "if you don't want to marry me, please, just tell me and then I can leave. I could marry anyone else. Even the owner of the little store down the road. Then you can make your money in peace." She was venomous. Stooge was offended.

"You dare to… fine! Go marry the owner of the little store down the road! He deserves a beast like you!"

Stooge stormed away from the bridge and Ruffnut turned red in the face. Taking her ring off her finger, she threw it into the water, which rippled in the light of the street lamps. Hiccup stared at this scene, completely bewildered. This had to be the weirdest dream anyone had ever had. Who was this Stooge person? And had Gobber and the others gone mad?

"Well, that was a lovely excursion, may I go home now?" Hiccup asked as the two people disappeared.

Gobber glared at him. "Fine, Stooge, but it is time to go home. Take my hand and…"

"We're not going to fly again, are we?" Hiccup asked skeptically.

"Yes."

"No thank you, I'll walk." Hiccup stood up and moved away from Gobber.

And then, quite suddenly, everything went dark.