Chapter One

Bella

I loved the sun but now I lived in Forks permanently, Charlie was over the moon, Renee aghast, and my friends waiting to hear I was pregnant. All because I fell in love with Edward Cullen a vampire who unfortunately sparkled in the sunshine! The family were staying in Forks for another couple of years and I was at college in Seattle with Edward and we commuted, living at the Cullen house in Forks. Rose and Emmett had moved out, gone on another of their honeymoons or it could have been because I married Edward and she disapproved but no one was saying. Alice and Jasper were here off and on but he was doing a degree in philosophy in Denver and Alice commuted between the house here and his apartment there depending on what his schedule was. She and I had become even closer since the wedding although she and Edward had become more distant with each other. I got the feeling she was angry or disappointed with him but if so she wasn't the only one. I had married Edward as my part in the pact we made before the fight with Victoria and her newborn army, a decision which had caused the rift between Jake and myself. I would marry Edward and he would change me. Six months down the line I was no closer to becoming a vampire but I was a wife. Something strange happened once we were married as if Edward felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. He introduced me to everyone as his beautiful wife Bella but things felt wrong. I loved him so much and I was so happy to be his wife but after the honeymoon he became distant, I expected our sexual relationship to become easier as he found he could make love to me without wanting to kill me but he seemed less inclined than before. If there was an excuse to go hunting with Carlisle or Alice he jumped at it. I found myself more alone not less and when I said anything I was being silly or clingy. Esme and I spent a lot of time alone together so one night I brought the subject up,

"Esme do you think Edward has gone off me?"

She looked a little less shocked than I expected but she smiled brightly,

"Off you? Don't be silly Bella, Edward adores you"

"Then why does he jump at any opportunity to get away from me, especially at night? I want him here in my bed with me"

"Well its not easy for him Bella, having to be so careful"

"But that's his choice not mine. I ask him every week to change me but he's always got an excuse. I even asked Carlisle but he said its Edwards task."

"Yes well it is, Edward has promised to change you and I'm sure he will, he just wants you to experience a little more as a human so you don't regret it when you do become like us."

"Do you really think that's his reason?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't know what to think Esme. I'd like us to get a place of our own but he won't even consider that."

"Well he's used to living with the family Bella and I'm sure you'll get used to it too in time. I know its all strange for you but look on the bright side, you can see Charlie whenever you want and I know you are close to him."

"I guess so Esme."

I went up to Edward's room which was now our room, still decorated with the huge four poster he'd bought when I stayed the night he proposed. I had been nervous but he seemed ecstatic when I said yes and had soon involved the whole family in arranging the wedding, too big and flashy but I was emotionally blackmailed. There hadn't been a proper wedding in the family for years and it would be mean and petty minded of me to spoil it for them. Alice always knew how to push my buttons and I'd caved in as I always did. I opened my laptop and checked my emails, yet another one from Renee asking when we were going to visit, she'd been on about us visiting ever since the wedding but Edward always made excuses. I knew sunny Florida would always be a problem but he'd been once before and coped OK. I 'd have to ask him again when he got back. There was one from Angela telling me about her college course and the new boyfriend Adam. They were getting engaged so I sent my congratulations and promise to try to get to their party which was only three weeks away. I didn't hold out much hope but again I'd ask Edward. The other e mail was from Alice, warning me to stay away from Angela's party. I sent one back asking her why and waited but it seemed she and Jasper were out or at least not at the computer. Since organising the grand wedding Alice was more distant, I felt she thought she'd done her bit getting us to the point of becoming married but now was interested in new things. I got showered and climbed into bed wearing one of the sexy black negligee sets Alice had bought for my honeymoon trousseau not that it would do me any good, I would be asleep when Edward got back, I always was and I began to think he arranged it that way. I fell asleep reading and dreamed I was on the beach at La Push with the wolf pack, then on Isle Esme, both places I had been happy, when Edward couldn't get enough of my company and when I had Jake as a friend. I hadn't seen him since the wedding when he flipped out on hearing I would be human for my honeymoon. I wondered where he was and if he'd finally found his imprint but although I asked Charlie if there were any word every time I saw him, he always shook his head then changed the subject. It wasn't easy though because Edward always went with me when I visited, in fact he was with me whenever I left the house and I wondered if maybe he didn't trust me? But that was crazy, I loved him.

Easter was coming and I hoped to spend at least part of it with Renee, I'd been putting her off long enough but when I finally got Edward to agree to visit I found out she was going to be away at Phil's sister.

"Well never mind, you'll see her again I'm sure. Actually it works out better for me because there's a piano recital I wanted to go to in New York"

"What about me?"

"Do you want to come? Carlisle has business there so I was going with him"

"Not really but I don't want to be here on my own, Charlie is working and Esme is going to Denali. I really don't want to go there. I'm not very fond of Tanya or her sisters."

"That's a little uncharitable Bella, you haven't seen them since the wedding. It will be good for you to have some female company"

I laughed

"Really Edward? That's all I ever have, female company"

The burgeoning row was interrupted by Edwards phone.

"Alice? Is everything OK?"

"Well I guess you'd better ask her"

"Alice wants to know if you'd like to spend Easter with her. How does that sound?"

Patronizing when its coming from you I thought but I held out my hand for the phone.

"Bella, I saw the recital, mucho boring, and the Denali's, again not much happening so I thought you might like to come here, we could go shopping, catch up, its been ages"

"Well a few weeks Alice but sure, why not."

"I'll meet you at the airport if you let me know the flight number."

Of course Edward booked me in first class when what I really wanted was to be like everyone else but he wouldn't hear of it.

"My wife has the best of everything"

Except you I thought then I was glad he couldn't read my mind. I was looking forward to getting away, apart from classes I spent all my time here with Esme or Edward and I was feeling like a prisoner rather than a wife. Esme drove me to Seattle for my flight as Edward and Carlisle had already left and then she would catch her own flight up to the Harpies! Once aboard I started to relax, the thought of a whole week away from Forks and Edward was bliss, then I felt guilty. I shouldn't feel like this after only six months of marriage but I did and I knew something was very wrong. Perhaps Alice could help me out. Look into her crystal ball for me. The flight wasn't nearly long enough, I was unwinding but I could have stayed in the limbo that was flying for much longer.