Chapter 14

For the next week and a half Wyatt was spending his time with Chris. He did do business but still left the rest of it to his partner. Everyone knew what happened and they agreed that Wyatt needed to be with his family. During that time Chris slowly came out of his shell a little, he wasn't talking as much a child his age should but he definitely talked more than he did before. Every evening father and son were getting to bed together and father was reading him some books.

Paula and Ryan were excused from some of their homework, but they took the tasks from Chris' teachers for him, so he wouldn't miss a lot. They helped him with his homework, talked to him and told about new development at school. When the attack became known to student body, there was an uproar. The student council asked the principle to invite to school psychologists to talk to everyone and find who of the current students could be a danger for the rest of the school, what surprised everybody else parents supported the idea and some even donate money to make it work.

Students came to the twins and gave them gifts to give their younger brother. Some of the bullies came and asked if they could seek forgiveness for taunting Chris. Also it became known to school about their home situation, about neglectful father, about their mother's death and that they blamed their brother for her death. You could hear gossip going around the school building. Paula and Ryan were quite calm and if someone had something to say hurtful they took it as they knew that half of what they said was truth.

Chris was feeling better with passing days, but deep inside he was scared that the moment he would step into the house this fade and everything would be back to how it was. He knew that here in hospital they were in public, so Wyatt should behave himself differently from how he should behave himself at home, where nobody was looking. As the day of his discharge came closer the quieter he became. It didn't come unnoticed by the family. They saw how Chris was watching them more and more, as if looking for any sign of deceit. The eldest members of the family were also watching Chris and they noticed that the teenager was crawling into his shell again.

Today was the day when Chris could go home. He still wasn't permitted to go school, as Dr. Jackson and child psychologist, who was working with Chris, weren't ready to let the boy get back at school, due to his physical and emotional scars.

"Are you ready to go home today, Chris?" Dr. Thompson asked, "How do you feel about going home?" She had with Chris just a couple sessions and she could say that the child didn't trust her or anything. He never answered her full, it was mostly one word answers and if possible yes and no. She knew that she had a lot work to do on this case. She also advised father to find family counselor, as the rest of the family needed support and guidance through the events.

The boy just shrugged his shoulders, as he did a lot. He didn't understand why he needed to talk to the woman, he didn't like her nor knew her. This woman was a stranger trying to get in his head. The only good thing about going home would be that his father would stop paying to her and he would never see her again, or so he thought.

"It's ok to be confused." The doctor said. "Actually it's a normal defense mechanism in your situation." It was met with the silence once again. Chris continued to look at the floor. So she tried other technique. She had to make a guess, she knew which one would be the most possible, and see what she could get then. "If I were you I would be afraid to go back home too." She saw how the child's hands twitched. She was right, the boy was afraid. "You know, I'm not sure what would I do in your situation."

"Why would you be afraid?" the boy across asked. She hid her smile, at last they started moving forward, even if it's just an attempt to take a step up.

"Well, I guess I would be afraid of coming back there and everything I had would disappear. Besides we all know that people act differently behind closed doors. And here in hospital you are in public so, they do as expected of them." She knew she was walking on the thin ice making such assumptions. It was always dangerous to do that especially with such fragile patients. But she also knew that in the past several sessions she didn't move a bit, so she was desperate to get any reaction. She noticed that Chris tensed. "I would afraid of being put in the previous position as before that. I would be afraid of being hurt again."

"And what would you do then?" came another quiet question.

"Honestly, I would try to be brave, even if for the sake of other people and take a chance. Otherwise how can I know that it would be this way, right?" she got a thoughtful look. "I would try to face my fears." At that she noticed the tears coming down the boys face.

"But I don't want to feel pain again. And I know that I was never good enough for them, I know that. How can they put up with me, even if it's for public? I killed his wife and their mum. I'm a murder. I deserved to be punished, it hurts but it should be done." Now Chris was sobbing fully. Dr. Thompson was pleased to finally got some response from the boy, but at the same time it made her upset how lowly this child thought of himself. She could only imagine what was it like in the house where you were always reminded about your mother's death and have your family blame you for it. The other thought put on her guard: the boy didn't thought what happened to him was bad, for him it was some twisted way to repay for his supposed sins. It's also was a warning that the teenager could turn to the self-harm, but she would address this later on.

"Chris, why do you think it's your fault?" she asked when Chris calmed down a bit.

"Whose else?" he asked. "I was there, I should have saved her. But I was in the attic hiding. It's all my fault."

"Chris, what could you do? You were just a scared small child then, if they knew that you were in the house you could be harmed or worse. How do you think your mother would feel? Think about it."

"She could be alive." Was the only answer.

"May be. But do you really think that your mother would have forgiven herself if anything happened to you? I'm sure she was so afraid of losing you at the moment that she didn't even think about herself." Chris shrugged again. "Can you tell me what happened?" Next several minutes only the clock's ticking was heard. Dr. Thompson was observing the boy carefully waiting for some kind of the answer. Chris was remembering what had happened that day, it was his most frequent nightmare. Finally he decided to tell her. At least then she would see why it had been his fault all along.

"We were in the kitchen, I was drawing and mum was baking my favourite cookies" at that a sad smile graced the child's face. "Suddenly there was strange noise as if the window was broken, she said me go to the attic and stay there until she came to fetch me. There were so much loud noises, but then it became quiet. After a minute or so when she didn't come to me I came down and saw her lying in her own blood." By that moment Chris was crying again. But now it was a good thing, he was finally allowed to grieve for his mum. "I ran to her, she opened her eyes and looked at me, she said that she loved my father, brother and sister and me. She said it wasn't my fault and that I needed to the good boy for father and then she died."

"Chris, she said it wasn't your fault, your mum said she loved you. That is important, nothing else. I'm aware they blamed you, but the question is: do they now?" She patiently waited for the boy's response.

"I don't know."

"Ok, you don't need to be sure right know. But I want you to be the brave boy, like your mother thought of you, go home and try. There, at home, you will know immediately if they still blame you. And if they do, I want you to call me and I will come and get you out of there, deal?" She knew that it wasn't that simple, but there was no need for Chris to know that. The young teenager nodded and for the first time smiled a little to her. She was glad that she finally broke through the boy's wall a little bit.

About an hour later Chris was back in his room. He was dressed for leaving the hospital. Words said by Dr. Thompson were repeating themselves: 'She loved you' and 'It wasn't your fault.' For the first time in a long time he let himself to believe them, may be, just may be they were true. And now he was waiting for his father and elder siblings come and get him.

Chris was lying on the bed and was dozing off when the door open and the whole family came in, Ryan pulling wheelchair with him. Wyatt watched his youngest son open his sleepy eyes and couldn't help the smile bloom on his face. That was his child, his baby boy and now he was going to bring him home, and make him welcome there as she should have always been. Combing his son's hair from his eyes, he kissed his forehead and helped him sit down.

"It's time to go home."