A.N. So this is basically 4x02 from Killians POV, plus a little bit more. I would have uploaded earlier, but alas but internet would not cooperate. Anyway spoilers for 4x02 (obviously) in this. Enjoy! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

"She's freezing! Turning blue!", cries the unknown woman with urgency, her voice feminine and slightly melodious.

Killian feels like the air has been crushed out from his chest and for a moment he can't breathe, before he springs into action; desperately clawing into the numbing ice, his frantic shouts reverberating into the empty night. A panic erupts in his belly, courses through his veins and he's distantly aware of David calling his name, but the thought matters little to him.

He can't lose her, can't lose the woman who in such a short time had become his sun and stars, his compass; always guiding him back to the light when the darkness inside of him threatened to overcome all.

So he tries harder, rams against the ice wall until he can feel bruises beginning to form, digs his hook into the ice faster, harder, only stopping when he feels David's reassuring but firm hand preventing him from doing any more.

"That isn't going to help"

David's right of course, they need to think smart and fast, but he needs to do something to stop his mind from going crazy, to stop the impending terror that is threatening to paralyse him at the possibility of anything bad happening to Emma. (He has to consciously stop himself from thinking about Liam and Milah – how he could feel them slipping away, unable to do anything but watch in terror as their bodies grew cold and the light from their eyes left them. How no amount of yelling or tears would bring them back and no amount of rum would make them escape his thoughts). (He doesn't know what he'd do if Emma were to join Liam and Milah as one of the ghosts he can't escape, always on the back of his mind, always haunting him).

He lets David talk to the mysterious ice sorceress via the strange contraption (he made a mental note to ask Henry about the gadget if, no when, Emma was safe), whilst searching anxiously for a crack, a hole – any weakness he could exploit.

This ice woman is their main chance, but there is no way in hell he's giving up if her magic doesn't work. He'll chip down the ice bit by bit, until his bones are chilled and his whole body aches if it will get him to Emma. He can hear David talking to the woman, Elsa she said her name was, in reassuring tones, coaxing her with words spoken from the mouth of a girl he once met – Anna he thinks he said.

From what he's gleaned from the little bits of conversation he's been attuned to, the woman seems to be searching for her sister, a girl David once knew briefly. For a second he feels a pang of pity for the strange woman wash over him and something else – empathy. Because he knows how it feels to lose someone unbearably close to his heart, knows the feeling of helplessness when a sibling bond is severed, crushed forever.

It brings back memories of Neverland, of the hopelessness that crushed him when Liam took his last breath in his arms, the terror that consumed him when he realised that Liam, perhaps the last person who truly loved him was gone and the melancholy that seemed to seep into his bones in the months and years after.

It's almost enough to quench the panic that seizes him at the thought of losing Emma forever, a fate worse than any curse.

Almost.

David puts the communicator down, still shaken about, well everything. He nods in Killian's direction, as if to assure him that everything will be ok, but it does nothing to dull the fluttering anxiety riding low in Killian's chest. David has almost perfected the art of masking fear – years of being king does that to you – yet Killian can see an ineffable terror in his eyes, one he can't quite hide no matter how hard he tries. Throughout this whole ordeal he's been a model leader and Killian admires how he's been able to function somewhat normally, calming the raging storm that must be inevitable rampant inside of him with such apparent ease.

All is silent for a moment as they wait in a mixture of anticipation and trepidation for something, anything to happen. It's like time is suspended, the ice wall remaining an impassive barrier, before the wall starts to crumble and incandescent wisps of magic, not unlike Emma's, shoot out like fireworks. "It's working." he says in awe, hope blossoming in his chest as he and David poke their head through the ever growing hole.

Her lips are blue and she's pale, paler that he's ever seen her before, but otherwise alive and well. Happiness and relief bubble inside of him and he suddenly feels lighter, like a weight he didn't know he was holding had been lifted. He can't fight the grin that has rapidly made its home on his face, or the joyous whoop of elation at the sight of her safe. With the help of Elsa she hobbles her way forward, into the waiting hands of David and Killian, ready to pull her back into safety. She collapses and Killian is quick to help her up, arms instinctively pulling her in closer, tighter and she does the same. He buries his face into her hair, murmuring words of comfort into her ear and inhaling the scent of cinnamon that he has come to associate with her. He feel like he's home again.

The hug is evanescent before she's falling again, but he catches her and carries her to the car, where they'll go back to the loft, back to safety and warmth. She latches onto him, burying her head into the crook of his neck and absorbing his body head as he softly brushes his lips to her forehead.

/

It's peaceful in the loft, quit and calm for once and Emma revels in it. Tomorrow they will fight again, but for now they bask in the rare moment of tranquillity. Everyone dispersed once Bo Peep's staff revealed that Anna was alive; Henry mumbled a weak excuse about needing some air, before rushing out somewhere and David and Mary Margaret are giving Elsa the rundown of Storybrooke, leaving Emma and Killian alone to rest. They've relocated to the couch where they sit together in companionable silence, Emma leaning on Killian's chest, listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart, their hands still intertwined. The sound soothes her and for the time being she allows herself this moment just to be with him, enjoying the tranquil moment with him by her side. She falls asleep within ten minutes.

/

He absentmindedly draws circles on her arm, an idyllic bliss flowing through his veins at their contact, as he reflects on the past few hours. He bears no grudge against Elsa for the ice wall - he can't muster up any malice for her actions, only sympathy. Because he understands the feeling of hopelessness when the light of your life suddenly disappears, intimately knows the panic that would have consumed her.

Once, when he was just a boy, Liam went off into the marketplace to get supplies, but didn't return until dark. Killian remembers the crippling heaviness in his chest, the way he felt like something inside him was crumpling with the weight of another abandonment – the last link to his family gone just like that. He was ready to plan a journey to find him, had packed half his belongings in a tiny satchel, when Liam walked in whistling, merry as an elf. He remembers the feeling of his strong arms holding him when he ran at him, remember hot tears stinging his eyes and feeling whole again just at his touch.

He doesn't have to imagine the hope that the simple rhythm of the heart inspired in Elsa and the thought brings a smile to his lips. Perhaps one more family will find each other again.

Feedback is always appreciated!