Anonymous: Deeks gets shot (not deadly) because Kensi froze in the field.

She pauses in the doorway.

He looks up at her as she enters, the room silent except for the beeping of heart monitors and the pounding within Kensi's chest. It takes her a moment to realize she's the only one that can hear it.

"Hi," he says. His voice cracks and Deeks feels as though he's just exposed a weakness to her, a weakness that reveals he isn't, in fact, made of steel.

Tears well up in Kensi's eyes and the walls she's been building up around herself for the past eight hours shatter, falling to the ground and breaking into a million different pieces. Too many pieces to be salvaged.

She enters the room, gets a full glimpse of him and- "Oh my god, Deeks." The short string of whispered words tumble out of her mouth before she can stifle them. A bandage wraps around his midsection but blood is clearly seeping through, as if his body wants Kensi to see exactly what she did. Exactly what she's responsible for.

He clears his throat in order to prevent his voice from cracking again, but somehow the words still come out as weak and hoarse as he says- "I'm alright, Kens."

She shakes her head and sucks her lips back into her mouth, her eyes unable to leave the bloody bandage. "No you're not, Deeks." Feeling like she's about to pass out, Kensi sucks in gulp of air. It doesn't help.

In fact, it only makes the tears come faster. "You're not okay," she restates. "And this… this is all my fault."

God, he hates seeing her cry. It makes his stomach knot up and forces his heart up into his throat, which is exactly what is happening to him right now.At least that's what he assumes. Deeks can't think clearly enough to actually decipher what his body is doing.

All he knows is that it hurts, and the pain is somewhat equivalent to that of a bullet wound. If not worse.

"Come here," he pleads. She's all the way across the room and he'd go get her if he could, but being buried beneath an array of cords and wires makes that task much easier said than done.

She continues staring at him, her expression unchanging.

"Please, Kens. Come here."

Finally she obeys, something in his tone of voice forcing her into cooperation. He grabs her hand so she can't escape.

"I'm alright," Deeks promises. He can see that she's not. "This isn't your fault. You didn't pull the trigger."

"I might as well have." She sucks in another breath. It gets caught in her throat. "I let him shoot you."

"And I let you get tortured in Afghanistan."

Silence once again fills the room. Kensi's face contorts and she holds onto his hand even tighter, trying to force those words out of her head.

"Don't ever say that."

Now she's practically sobbing again. Heaving, trying desperately to breathe and let him know that she's okay, even though she's not. Kensi doesn't know if she'll ever be again, seeing as every time she shuts her eyes all she can visualize is his body hitting the pavement right in front of her.

"You weren't responsible for any of it, Deeks. So please, please don't think that."

It isn't that easy. He can't suddenly wish away the guilt and the heartache and the feeling that maybe, just maybe, if he'd done something differently she wouldn't have had to suffer through those horrible few days.

"I'll try," he says. "But only if you do the same for me."

"Deeks, it's… it's different-"

"It's not, Kensi. I promise you that it's not." He shakes his head and takes both of her hands in his. "I don't think this is your fault. You don't think that what happened in Afghanistan was my fault. That's where we differ."

She swallows and sits down beside him on the bed when her legs won't hold her any longer. He drops one of her hands and pushes a tuft of hair behind her ear as it falls forward.

Staring at him, she wonders briefly if they're ever going to come out on the other side. That isn't what she tells him, though.

"I killed him, you know."

His eyes narrow in confusion. Kensi looks away and out the window of his second story hospital room.

"The man who shot you… I killed him, just after you fell to the ground." Kensi clenches her jaw as her eyes swim in their sockets. "I shot him four times. The first two were because I had to, the third was because I wanted to, and…"

She trails off, but eventually Deeks picks up the sentence for her. "The fourth?"

Kensi takes a breath. Her throat tightens around it.

"The fourth was so that, in case you died…" She looks straight at her partner, her everything, and wills the tears to go away. "…there was no doubt that he'd die too."