Last chapter, this one from alternating perspectives, Thor's in italics.

4.

There is an ideal of the first kiss that is a million miles away from the usual truth of it. I had no such ideal and only learned of it since then. What I learned was that this was the ideal others only dreamed of; a softness and a sweetness that coming from you seemed to come out of nowhere; the bizarre unlikelihood that a simple meeting of lips could shock the body in continual waves of delight and embrace the brain, even my brain, teasing some of the blackness out of my head and filling the spaces with this blissful peace that lasted for as long as your touch. I could never have told you then, nor for centuries to follow that you even were my first, indeed that in spite of all the lies I gave you later to the contrary – my only. For in truth after that the thought of so much as touching anyone else sickened me through and through. And are these the greatest truths I would never tell you? – certainly the most frightening words I never said. My first, only, always, last. Everything.

Everything, I thought, and it was as sure, as certain, as plain as day – you would and always would be that to me. Yes, I was afraid you would say no when I gave up the fight and asked to kiss you. But this too I was afraid of; the truth that there would be no going back from here. That I was making you promises I never said aloud that day – vows to you that I would keep no matter what came at us, no matter how hard you later tried to make me break them. My fingers shook on your skin, softer than snow and cooling the burning inside of me as the river cooled my skin. Like touching stardust, twisting my hands into your hair, to pull back and kiss you deeper when the first breathless, gasping exploration was over. Driven by this lust, this excruciating need that had been building in me steadily and relentlessly for- I must confess – years now, I broke through tender in feverish intensity until my whole being shook with the frantic rise and fall of my chest. I was shivering in the sun when we pulled apart for air by unspoken mutual consent, curling my hand around your neck, pressing your forehead to mine, panting. You were actually warm for once and I must have been dripping sweat –

- afraid to look one another in the eye at first; when you did look at me I trembled beneath the lightening crackling in your eyes; I could see my own eyes reflected there, their ever changing colour now black as night. You clenched your teeth –

"Brother –" you began, jerking your head a little involuntarily as the word sunk in.

"No –" I broke in quickly, almost snarling, not in denial but to stop you from saying what I knew would come next – "Tell me this is wrong and you may as well kill me now –"

You shook your head, partly at my flair for the melodramatic I am sure –

"It does not feel wrong" you said.

"Go with it" I murmured close to your mouth, and you needed no further telling to kiss me again, un–make me again.

"I think –" you groaned – "I am falling –"

"And I –" I nodded – "Falling harder."

"You have to always go one better, don't you?" you growled, nails gently, firmly, digging scratches into my neck until I could have screamed. Instead I shrugged

"Of course I do."

I laughed; there was no way or reason in the world not to love you. Certainly no way that I could not. You arched towards me as I ran my hands up your back, breathless from the feel of you, wondering that you could be so deliciously soft and yet powerfully hard and firm at the same time, your flesh rippling beneath my hands like my horse in motion beneath me. Your eyes closed and your head rolled back, your hands falling almost shyly to my chest as the most exquisite whimpers escaped your half parted lips. I knew then that the only thing that would be truly wrong would be not to kiss those lips. I pulled you close to devour anew, awkwardly and wretchedly needy and when you squirmed against me, raising yourself up, I could feel my erection harder than it had ever been in my life.

I felt ashamed at my uncertainty, aware that you too could feel this, virginally uncertain of what to do next. You made me feel like there had never been anyone else ever – well perhaps, when it came down to it there had not been. All I knew was that I wanted painfully and that only you could help me. You shifted against me, hands sliding up and around the back of my neck, rocking purposefully against my hardness and looking down with a glint in your eye and a smile playing across your face.

"Loki – please –" I groaned, helplessly, rocking back against you to press my aching cock against your soft skin – "Please – I don't know –" You cut me off with a silent 'shhh', your finger on my lips and a gentle eye roll –

"I do" you murmured, words dropping like honey from your lips. I was yours then so completely, your arm dropping between our bodies to take me in your hand. I nearly came instantly, that first caress of your wickedly gentle fingers against my burning, throbbing need something I will never forget. I only understood then how long and how badly I had needed this – needed you. I could not tear my gaze from you, the transcendent look on your face, placing you high amongst the stars in my estimation, your hand closing around my aching cock, satisfying the deepest hunger I had ever known. I did not last long , my entire existence swirling down into my cock in your hand at this time and place, breaking me apart and I came that whole existence into your hand, shuddering and screaming so hard my screams came out silent and I fell back against the rock, half certain I would faint. I did not. Instead I peered up to see you looking quizzically at your hand and sucking the evidence from your fingers in a way that made my only just softening cock twitch back to life already. I closed my eyes, just then starting to learn how painful and remorseless desire could be.

"Loki –"

- you said, your eyes beseeching and I lay back down beside you, burrowing into the crook of your arm and nestling against you. You stroked my hair and I basked in my own greatness, it is true – I had let you think I knew exactly what I was doing when in truth I had had no idea. If this means we began with a lie then at least it was a good one – but more a happy accident with which nobody could complain. I rested my head on your chest and breathed in your galloping heartbeat, practically purring as you stroked me.

"You feel –" you murmured in faint surprise, "-Warm. Warm like feathers in the snow."

"Brother –" I chided, not meaning a word I was saying and you knew it – "Don't go soft on me."

"Damn –" you said, clutching me closer a little too tightly.

"Damn?"

"I did not think –" you broke off, realising it sounded bad – "I did not think I would still want you like this –"

It hurt a bit, I stiffened, I could feel my own eyes narrowing –

"You thought you could just get me out of your system and get back on with your life?"

You winced at my tone but were honest to a despicable fault –

"Yes," you started. I jerked away from you angrily, rapidly, preparing myself for heartbreak, ready and expecting; too ready, I know. You wouldn't let me- "…but I can't," you finished quickly, grabbing my arm and pulling me back down – "I can't, Loki; I was a fool, I know that now – I can't go back and –" you frowned, working it out as you said it – "and that's fine." I must have softened back against you and you kissed my forehead – "This is better," you concluded.

You held me tight and I clung to you and we lay together, happy and terrified all at once. Happy to be coming together as we should be and we knew it but terrified to feel so powerfully.

After a few minutes you rolled on to your side and I propped myself on an elbow to face you. We were not afraid, like I thought we might be – nor embarrassed or awkward anymore – to be thus, face to face, smiling into each other as we always had – in secrets we shared that the rest of creation would never know. Well, I was thinking deep thoughts anyway;

"Loki?" you said eventually.

"Yes?"

"Can I –" you frowned a little. "Can I do that to you?" I am sure I must have grinned widely, ear to ear.

"Dear gods –" I groaned in relief and delight, "-I was afraid you'd never ask." I was, after all, far too happy with what we had already achieved to risk damaging it by pointing out that I was still hard as Hel.

Forehead to forehead, your hand on my hip, the hiss of breath you took at the softness of my skin, myself gasping in an epiphany of surprise when you brushed a spot beneath the hip that sent great shudders all through me, how it was you who groaned to take my cock in your hand but I who clutched your shoulder in a vice moments later, my other hand scrambling at the rock for something to cling to as I broke against you crying like circling bird song , a wave crashing against the shore of you. It was like flying and you the only thing that would keep me from floating completely away.

We were perfect and I was worshipped and I wanted to be so forever. Then and there I set my sights too high for the rest of my life.

I could hardly believe how right it felt. How right I felt. I had assumed myself to be perfect before this, it was true, but I knew then that it was only ever because you were so nearly always by my side. There was no awkwardness here and no innocence was truly lost that day. Instead we did this again and again throughout the afternoon and in between talked nonsense and traded insults. Later we returned to the river, in urgent need of washing off – no different, indeed changed only for the better – than we had been when we entered the water earlier that day.

I held your hand as we rode slowly back, side by side, until the spires of home became too close to allow it. Neither of us dared ask the other what happened now and that afternoon it did not matter. The days to come would deepen and later complicate what had started today, days we could colour in shades of red, yellow, orange, green. Later, much later, would come days of grey and blue and the days you would try to paint black. But nothing to follow could damage the hue of that one perfect day; a study in silver and gold.

_x_

This story kind of became something different from what was originally planned, so I apologise to the people who were expecting more porn but there are so many awesome fics about these two having amazing angry sex and I kind of thought I wanted to look at a different time, before it all went wrong. However there will be sequels – possibly a couple of them to follow that will go straight on from this and get much more graphic, but they will now be sequels and not part of this story which feels finished as it is. I just want to leave it there, all shining and happy like! :-)

Having said that watch this space for "A study in Crimson and Green" coming rather soon!