"If Thor doesn't stop creeping me out, I'm gonna Tase him!" Darcy threatened on the third day after the convergence.

How that damn Taser hadn't been confiscated at customs, Jane would have loved to know – and wished she'd thought of "turning it in" at the time. "Leave him alone, Darcy, he's not bothering anyone."

"And that's the problem. He's Thor! God of bang-bang-boom and flashy things and bellowing! It has to be violating a Norse commandment to be this quiet; he's making me nervous!"

"GOD! You – intern – Ewan – whatever your name is, take Darcy for a walk, go sex her up, I don't care, just get her out of here!" Erik spewed a mouthful of ginger ale – luckily in the opposite direction of the laptops – and Darcy was still sputtering as Jane shoved her jacket into her arms and physically propelled her into Ian's arms, and Ian hauled her out the door. There, she could remember his name.

The object of the debate was standing quietly on the balcony of their London apartment, where he'd spent a lot of time since coming back to Earth. He smiled as Jane came out, the same as he always did, but there was no missing the shadow hanging over him. She hadn't raised the subject, and had threatened to duct tape Darcy's mouth if she tried. Jane was hoping Thor would decide on his own to talk to her about it, but then again, maybe he worried that nobody on Earth would have it in them to sympathize with what he was feeling.

Well, nothing ventured…

"I didn't get a chance to say it before," she murmured, slipping a hand into his. "I really am sorry. About your brother." If her throat tightened up, she told herself it was for the way Thor's eyes filled, not because she felt bad for a supervillain.

An Asgardian who fell through the void for god-knows-how-long and had flashbacks and stabbed a dark elf monster through the back and saved Thor's life and died in his arms –

He'd hurt people. He'd killed people. She shouldn't feel sorry for him… shouldn't wonder if maybe he hadn't deserved to die that way…

"How did you know?" Thor asked. "About what happened on the ship? Have you… you've not seen war or battle."

"No, not personally," she said slowly. "But… flashbacks… they happen when someone's been traumatized." She glanced at the doors and lowered her voice a little more. "Erik," she explained. "After the Tesseract and New York. What happened to his mind… what… Loki did. He has trouble." At least he's started wearing pants regularly again. "Everyone reacts differently to PTSD, but it was… similar, that time. I recognized it. That was all." She gazed out over the gray London skyline. "You said it's called the war fetters in Asgard?" She thought she remembered that from brushing up on her Norse mythology.

Thor nodded. "It's said there is no greater binding than in one's own mind. It is known best in war, though as you've said, it can fall on anyone who witnesses horror. I've seen it enough; I should have recognized it sooner." He bent over the stone railing. "I should have known better than to throw him anywhere! I saw him fall the first time!"

Jane's stomach lurched. "Oh god… what d'you mean?"

He told her. Three-plus years and sleepless nights and SHIELD breathing down her neck and aliens rampaging in New York and hope and despair and being possessed by some ancient mindless superpower later, she finally heard the whole story. As excuses went it… was pretty foolproof. As stories went, it might make for an epic someday, but all she wanted to do was sob for him.

Worse… if anyone ever asked her if she felt sorry for Loki, she'd have to lie. She was a terrible liar.

He fell. He fell of the bridge and kept on falling for God knows how long. He was so scared… Not to live, not to die, just fall and fall… it had been easy to hate him, to imagine he was some twisted caricature of one-dimensional evil. He hadn't exactly tried to dispel that reputation either; she'd seen it in his smug grin when she'd met him.

Until he fell from the ship, and his mind fell into the void. He'd certainly never said anything to her after that, and Jane wasn't surprised that he'd picked a fight when Thor had tried. Erik didn't like to talk about those moments either, when his face went white and his eyes went blank, staring at some horror that Jane couldn't see. Horrors that were Loki's fault, and yet… Loki was "unbalanced" as Thor sometimes put it.

After falling through the void between worlds… who would be balanced? Where had he landed? Erik had once admitted that he and Agent Barton and Loki had all hated the Chitauri, which was… odd, if they'd been Loki's allies. If not… nothing made sense. Nothing was simple. And now Loki was dead, and none of them would ever really have answers.

Thor had at least filled in a few of the gaps from how it had all begun. "I'd be amazed if you didn't have flashbacks after all that," she finally said, feeling completely drained just hearing the story.

Thor smiled at her, but there was something bleak in it. "Who said I don't?" She wrapped an arm around his neck and pressed her forehead to his. "I see him fall... the despair, before he reappeared on Earth, I used to wake wishing, praying that somehow he was alive. Then he was, but mad, and hundreds died. I hated myself for missing him. For wanting to find a way..."

"It's not wrong," Jane told him. She sat back and looked him in the eye. "Erik's sorry too, you know. Not, well, not for him, no, but for you. He doesn't blame you for missing him." That part wasn't a lie. So if she said that she didn't blame Thor either, well, it was true.

Lunatic or not, tyrant or not, Loki had grown up with Thor, and given his life to save him only a few days after they'd lost their mother.

Thinking too much about it all felt like falling off a cliff herself, one that led to her throat being too tight to speak and some spiral of panic and anxiety and deep, soul-crushing sadness, a beautiful queen stabbed to death in front of her family, a universe of worlds united by one cosmic anomaly and all darkened at the same time. And behind it all, a whisper: It was all your fault.

She had to wrench her mind away from it all. She was relieved that Thor was still thinking of Erik. "That's generous of him. I'm glad to find him healing."

She grinned. "Erik'll tell you he's set in his ways, but he's not. He always adapts, no matter how strange the world gets."

"As you do," he pointed out, smiling more easily. "To both of your credit."

With a sheepish shrug, Jane replied, "What can I say, it's in our nature. We're scientists. That's why we do what we do."

It was just a trite attempt at modesty, but from the way Thor's eyes widened, you'd have thought she'd said something outrageous. "Thor? What? What?!" She could actually feel his pulse speeding up under her hand. "What's wrong?"

Maybe it was a flashback of his own, but... staring at nothing, his mouth half-hanging open, Thor suddenly smiled. He blinked as she cautiously shook him, then grinned. "Nothing." It was the brightest smile she'd seen from him since New Mexico.

When the Allfather stirred from a full seven days of Odinsleep, Loki knew he shouldn't linger to see the look on his face. But, naturally, he couldn't resist. The king of Asgard had slumbered under the simplest concealment spell while the oblivious guards and servants went on following the "king's" orders from the throne. Odin had emerged to much sputtering, then bellowing when he worked it all out.

Confusion followed, as Odin found himself not reclaiming a realm from under a tyrant's thumb nor fallen to mayhem. Rather, Asgard had been reassured by their king's calm directions to rebuild and heal, and no one had ever suspected there was an imposter upon the throne. The old fool bellowed anyway. Of course, he would never admit to himself that Loki had ruled well or wisely.

Thor was sent for, and stoically endured Odin's ranting and demands of how he could have failed to detect the pretender. Loki was glad to be a gadfly on the wall for that conversation. Thor explained, "You - I mean, he offered me the throne, Father! Neither one of us would have imagined he'd have done that, nor that he would have expected me to refuse it!"

Odin paced like a caged lion, teeth bared, denied its prey. Thor, to Loki's surprise, was utterly still. The thunderer betrayed little frustration and no anger at all. That was... a bit disappointing. A tantrum was more entertaining, though at least Loki didn't have to worry about dodging thrown debris. It was almost as if he...

"Who knows that I was asleep?"

"None save the chamber servants who were there when you awoke, and Sif and the Warriors Three when you sent them for me. All have sworn silence, and I've ordered a report of all events since my, er, initial departure. The scribes will not think it out of the ordinary."
Odin growled and stalked around the table, glaring at the scrolls and tablets already assembled. "How long will we have to labor to undo all his schemes in the realm now?"

"From all the accounts, Father, his commands were - "

The growl Thor got in response sent Loki's mind back to the observatory on the day of that ill-fated sojourn to Jotunheim. "Do NOT speak of him as anything other than a traitor and usurper!" Oh, what a put-upon sigh. When had Thor started acting so much like Frigg - oh. Loki winced inwardly. So that was it. Damn. It took far too much of the fun out of it.

So he didn't bother to linger, even as Odin was going almost purple with rage and in danger of popping a few blood vessels in response to Thor's quiet, repeated refusal to denounce Loki entirely. "He saved my life. And Jane's. We could not have defeated Malekith without him."

Loki retreated from the room and decided he definitely had no further cause to stick around. Odin was clever enough not to raise a hue and cry about an imposter having held the throne for over a week, but there would be a search. And there would be no Frigga to keep Loki from the axe this time around, if he was caught. No reason at all to stay or ever return.

Slipping into the bowels of the kitchens in the guise of a servant, Loki made for the entrance to another path out of Asgard, one that would lead to Vanaheim, and from there, he could make his way wherever he wished.

He hadn't expected to encounter anyone but servants down here, so he was unprepared for the cloaked figure who burst out of the shadows. Startled from his own illusion, he found himself face-to-face with Thor. Loki promptly cast a duplicate of himself and tried to slip away, only to have Thor spin around and seize him before he'd gone two feet. Shoving Loki against the wall, his brother informed him, "Yes."

Loki stared. "What?"

To his astonishment, Thor smiled. "I am - at last - not going to fall for that. And I've been recalling some of the mysterious tunnels you used to go on about. One that you claimed led to Vanaheim from the scullery."

Oops. "I'm impressed. You can be taught. Not just to lie but to dissemble." Thor frowned, but when Loki shifted to get the bricks out of his back, his grip tightened. No chance of a quick magical shift or illusion to break away. "In Svartalfheim. Your performance over me. I really thought you were grieving."

"Oh." Thor's eyes dropped for a moment, and he admitted, "I was. I thought you dead yet again, and mourned you yet again, but then I remembered."

"Remembered what?"

"That this is you." Thor released his grip on Loki's arms, leading Loki to realize that there must be guards waiting. Perhaps the passage itself was sealed off. He sighed. This would make it more complicated. Usually Loki wouldn't mind a complicated trap to escape, but at the moment he was rather weary of brawls. "I remembered even before Father called me home with news of your latest escapade. You could have plunged Asgard into chaos."

"That's what I do. Haven't you realized it yet?" He meant it to goad Thor, but it didn't. And Thor didn't call for Loki to be clapped in irons, only stood there with that strange smile, as if he were genuinely glad to see him. And again, it reminded Loki of... "Well? Shouldn't you be dragging me back to the dungeons?" he blurted when he could bear no more.

Thor shook his head. Loki blinked. "No." He stepped from Loki's path, leaving the way clear for Loki to leap for the passage. Thor? Set an ambush? Surely not. But when Loki stood there for too long, staring stupidly, he gestured in invitation. "You came for one of your secret paths out of Asgard. If you mean to flee the Allfather's wrath, you're not wrong," he added with a wry twist of his mouth. "He is less pleased than I to learn we've been had by the God of Mischief once more."

"Did the brawl with Malekith addle your wits?" Loki demanded. "You can't just let me escape!"

Thor shrugged. "Apparently, I can, because that's what I'm doing. I owe you my life, Jane's and the Nine Realms; I've no intention of forgetting that. And Father may be too outraged to admit it, but I shall: you ruled Asgard wisely." He gestured again to the passage. "So if it's freedom you desire now, you have it."

Wondering if Thor was the one being impersonated now, Loki mused, "You've become very cavalier about committing treason."

"Not treason. Discretion. The Allfather knows my bent of mind, yet he put me in command of the search for you." Thor's eyes sparkled at the astonishment that Loki couldn't keep from his face, but then they narrowed, and he took a step closer. "If you mean to do harm to Asgard, Midgard, or anyone, I'll stop you just as I did before. And I'll have no discretion if you court punishment again. Bear that in mind when you decide to unleash chaos."

"Do you really think I'll ever turn down the chance for that?"

"I don't know. You complained of my shadow, of Odin's favor. Asgard's narrow minds towards magic. Perhaps away from all this, you'll find you can be satisfied after all."

"That's Frigga talking," Loki sneered.

Thor raised his eyebrows. "Thank you."

Damn you! "Do you truly think you can change me, Odinson?"

"No. If I did, I wouldn't let you go." Loki kept a wary eye on him as he went past, but Thor merely watched him. "Take care of yourself."

"You'll be dispatched to hunt for me," Loki pointed out.

"I will be glad if I find you well."

Loki threw up his hands. "He'll order you to capture me, not inquire after my health."

"And what you do in the interim will determine how we next meet," Thor retorted, finally showing crossness. Then he sighed and ambled into the gateway, peering into the darkness over Loki's shoulder.

"Are you so sure we'll meet again, then?"

Why did he suddenly look and sound so much like Frigga? "I hope so. But if not, then I hope this is one goodbye to you that doesn't result in flashbacks. Nightmares," he clarified, seeing Loki's confused expression. Then he smiled. "Waking dreams. Flashback is the human term for it."

Oh. So that was how she knew... "I'm surprised she'll ever sleep again after what she saw here."

"Humans are stronger than you'll ever know. My friend Erik had a bad time of it, but he healed enough to help save his realm and ours." There was no mistaking the rebuke. "That is how Jane knew the war fetters."

"And you had only a few days with them before Odin demanded you back again. It will always be that way," Loki pointed out. Thor dropped his eyes, all sorrowful for his lost love again. Nauseating… worse still was the awareness in the back of Loki's mind that Thor's mortal had seen him in a moment of such weakness and recognized it for what it was. And I owe her a favor as a result. And before he could talk himself out of it, he observed, "Odin did release you, you know. You could hold him to it."

Thor blinked. "That was you, not Odin."

By the Norns, he was dense. "And unless he intends to declare to all of Asgard that I held the throne with his likeness for seven days, sewing suspicion for the rest of his reign, he'll not be able to go back on my word in his name." Loki leaned back against the corridor wall and opened his palms. "We may not have had an audience, but it's well known that the Allfather gave you leave to depart as reward for your deeds. So if you finish with your business here and go back to Earth, well, how is he to stop you?"

Thor's mouth moved without making a sound for a few seconds, but he didn't seem outraged. Rather, he looked thoughtful. There. Loki had shown him the path; whether Thor used it was up to him. Now he needed to go. He'd wasted enough time. Yet it felt as though there were something else important that he should not neglect, some question still unvoiced... he groped around and finally found it. "I thought you no longer had any hope for me."

"I didn't." It was like a fist squeezed his insides, and it galled him to feel that. "I thought I had the way of you and there was no hope left. But as when I saw you die on Svartalfheim, I remembered this is Loki."

"And?"

Now Thor grinned, and it was if the sun came out in the depths of the tunnels. "And if there's one thing Loki Friggason is capable of, it is surprise." He closed the few steps between them while Loki was still trying to make sense of that, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Farewell, Brother. I will miss you."

One squeeze of his hand as if they were simply parting on some expedition, then Thor let go and left the tunnel without looking back. Loki stared after him for a long time, until murmurs in the stones warned him there were guards in the vicinity.

"You're still a witless oaf," he whispered aloud. Then he turned and slipped through the pathway to freedom.

~Fin~

A/N: PLEASE remember to review, dear readers! I need reviews! I love reviews! And to answer the question many of you are probably wondering (why I skipped The Death Scene) the answer is - I tried multiple times to work it in, to cover it in the context of this AU, and it just... didn't... work. Thor wouldn't have been thinking about anything except the immediate problem (that his little bro is DYING again) and Loki would have had no reason to bring it up. As much as I love a good heart-to-heart, I couldn't come up with a way to have that happen and still keep Loki in character. So this is where we ended up. Loki POV in the finale so we could get a glimpse into his head, but Thor is finally starting to get a handle on what makes Little Bro tick.