After my nervous breakdown my appetite had gone down. The food served in the dining hall did not look as appealing as it once used to. My sense of taste became dull from the lack food due to my hospitalization. In fact, all of my senses have dulled down since then. It was as if everything had become a boring grey, nothing appealed to me anymore.

All I wanted to do was lay in my room and try to forget the horrible nightmares that haunt me every day. I force myself to stay awake so that I can not dream about Tom anymore, but even awake I can not seem to keep his death off of my mind. I needed a distraction from everything, but I did not know what.

I learned that when Finnick was worried, or lost in his thoughts, he ties knots. While we sit at the table and eat out food, his fingers fiddle with a piece of rope he pulled from his back pocket; apparently his carries it everywhere.

The clatter of silver utensils against the capitals finest plates began to give me a migraine. Neither Finnick nor I had tried to initiate any kind of conversation, and from the look on his face I knew he was desperate to talk to me. Who knows how he had handled my sudden hospitalization?

Although he believes it was from the large amounts of alcohol I had consumed, it really was caused from a panic attack. I am only hoping that Finnick does not try and blame himself for the entire situation when I knew it was my fault. The rope weaving and unweaving between his fingers told me that this whole thing was taking a toll on him.

My hand moves to his shaking leg, placing my palm on his knee to gain his attention. When he looks up I give him a small reassuring smile while standing up to to inform him that I had eaten enough of my meal.

Worried eyes look at my almost full plate before giving me a questioning look. His worry causes my smile to fade, gaze focusing on the floor beneath my feet. I can feel him stand up next to me, place the rope in his front pocket, gently grasping onto my shaking hand, and leading me out of the room.

We end up back at my room. The familiar scenery making me release the breath I did not know I was holding in. This room somehow managed to give me a small sense of serenity, but it was not able to distract me in the way I wished it could.

The whole room was filled with unwanted memories. Images of a destroyed version of me lurks in every corner. More images of Finnick and I flood my mind. I can see us everywhere, lips attached and bodies pressed together. Instinctively, my legs clamp together to rid my lower half of the annoying tingling sensation.

I stood in the middle of the bedroom trying to ease the lustful feeling by squeezing, and flexing my thighs closer together. Annoyance washes over me when it does not leave. My eyes that were once squeezed shut were now open, light pouring into my pupils. Finnick's confused gaze travels down the length of my body as if he was reading me for answers.

An annoyed groan rumbles in the pit of my stomach as a knowing smirk plasters itself across Finnick's face. Bright eyes traveling back up the slight curves of my figure, drinking in my needy appearance before making eye contact again. His body pressed against mine in seconds, hands finding my sharp hip bones, caressing the protruding bones under his palms.

His fingertips lift the hem of my t-shirt, showing the skin beneath. The action of him tracing small circles along my sides makes my mind go blank. All of the dangerous thoughts running through my mind are covered by a beautiful haze. My eyes are focused on the way he looks at his actions. He was focused to the point where his bottom lip was hidden behind his teeth. Quick hands slipped my shirt over my head, discarding it somewhere on the floor. Finnick allowing his eyes to stare at the newly exposed skin.

After taking in my appearance, his lips found mine. I could feel his palms press against the back of my legs. Muscles contracting under his plain white shirt as he lifted my thighs so that he could walk us over towards the bed. My body was placed in the middle of the giant soft mattress, lips leaving mine to kiss a trail down my neck.

Soft gasps rolled off my tongue as he focused on the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. Teeth nibbled at the tender flesh causing blood to rush there. I winced at the feeling, but did not want him to stop. A red mark would most definitely flourish in that area for all to see. His tongue soothed the spot he was working on, relieving me a little.

A hum rumbled in his chest as he looked at the mark he left on my body. Ducking his head lower to kiss in between the valley of my almost flat breasts. His lips skip over my bra, continuing their journey until they reach my sweatpants. Sea green eyes lock with mine, begging me for permission to rid the article of clothing.

The feeling Finnick is giving me has hypnotized me, making me nod without even knowing. I adored being unable to think. It made me feel safe to be kept away from the constant nightmares that haunted me. The lower Finnick pulled my sweatpants down, the more fuzzy my mind became.

I had not had the time to realize that I was almost bare in front of him. Instead, when his lips once again found mine, I willingly kissed him back. Lips moving in a feverish rhythm filled with lust and desire. Desire to forget our pain. Desire to feel wanted be another. Desire to feel loved my another. This might not be love, but for now we could pretend. At least if we pretend, then no one would get hurt in the end.

Neither of us had spoken since Finnick had called me beautiful. Each of us afraid to ruin the peace that had settled between us. That is why when Finnick spoke, I was startled. Over such a short period of time, I had forgotten how his voice had sounded. It sounded like honey in the silent room. The only other sounds being our heavy breaths from lack of air.

"I want to do something for you," were the first words he said. I had no idea what he had meant by the statement, but I wanted him to do whatever he wanted. I had been shutting him out when he needed to know I was alright, and the guilt was eating me alive. If this is what he needed to reassure himself that I did not hate him, then so be it.

While thinking about the possibilities of what he might want to do, I had forgotten to respond to him. His gaze studying my face very carefully as he tried to figure out whether or not I would allow him to continue. When I did not do anything to show what my answer would be, he spoke again.

"May I?" His voice was like silk. I had to close my eyes to appreciate the way his words sounded as they came out of his mouth.

With my eyes closed I nodded, giving him permission to do whatever it was that he wanted. Fear and excitement were having a battle inside me. Excitement overpowering my fear as I waited for his next move. Cool air hitting my most private area as he rids me of my panties. My heart accelerated at the thought of how vulnerable I looked almost naked beneath him.

The bed moved as Finnick stood up as the foot of it. Confusion flashed in my eyes at why he had suddenly moved away from me. I waited as his eyes studied my bare core, his tongue subconsciously licking his lips. A chill ran up my spine as I thought about the hungry gaze he cast upon me, my arousal for him growing with each small movement he makes.

I am caught off guard as his hands grab my ankles and pull me until my body is at the end of the bed, laying in front of his towering body. My knees bend, the lower half of my legs hanging off the bed. Ankles cross in attempt to hide myself, but this action only emits a chuckle from the man in front of me.

Slowly, Finnick falls to his knees in front of me. Each one of his hands is placed on one of my knees, spreading them apart to reveal everything to him. The only part of him visible to me is his head, but I could see that his eyes were focused on my lower region. I see less of his head as he begins to leave soft kisses from my left knee, up to my upper inner thigh.

My chest rises and falls at a rapid rate as his lips move closer to my core. All my limbs feel stiff and unwilling to move, as if I had lost control of my own body. Both of my legs had been thrown over his shoulders. Hot breath fanned across my aching center, sending a small sensation throughout my body.

A light peck touched my folds, a gasp falling from my mouth from the foreign contact. I assumed he was pleased with my reaction because his mouth fully connected with my lower half. Hungry lips traced the area as his smooth tongue darted out of his mouth, tasting my every crevice.

I could not help my fingers from tangling themselves in his hair, pushing him closer to me. Hips thrusting wildly against his skillful mouth, aching to add more pressure. Moans rolled off my tongue as his sharp nose nudged at my sensitive bud.

His tongue darted further within me, exploring my body in an entirely new way. His arms wrapped around my thighs, stopping my thrashing legs from moving. Palms pressed to the skin on my thighs, fingers digging into the flesh as groans rumbled from his lips onto me, intensifying the pleasure.

"Finnick, Finnick, Finnick," my head was thrown back, spine arching, as I breathlessly repeated his name. The bed moving forward as his hips bucking against the frame as he tried to ease the pressure building up in his pants.

"Come for me," he mumbled into my heat as my body began to shake from the buildup of pleasure. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach begging for me to release the pressure.

"Finnick, p-please," I was begging desperately for him, "Please, d-don't stop."

My thighs flexed when his teeth nibbled at the sensitive nub, bringing a wave of euphoria to wash over my body. Every limb shook as the knots in my stomach came undone as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I released myself on his mouth, pulling on his golden hair as my hips moved against him to ride out my high. I cried out his name repeatedly during the process, my throat burning from screaming out Finnick's name.

The burn in my lungs reminded me to take in bigger portions of air as I came down from my high. Finnick's tongue was cleaning the mess that I had made, making me to hum from the sweet sensation. He finally stood back up when he was done, leaning over to press his lips against mine.

"You're so sweet," our tongues swirled together so that I could taste myself. It should have grossed me out, but something about it was causing a dull ache in my core to return. Lips pulled away from mine and sea green eyes studied my expression, "Well?"

I stared back into his eyes, unsure of what to say. So many thoughts were running through my mind, and it was so hard to sum up how I felt in words. My hands cupped either side of his face bringing him closer to me. He had to support his upper body weight with his arms, pinning them on either side of my head as he climbed over me. His knees now rested on either side of my hips.

"It was," my mind raced to finish the sentence. Concentration was etched on my face as my brows knitted together. The whole time I tried to fill the end of the sentence, he studied me. A dazzling smile taking over his face when he realized that I had enjoyed myself.

"You liked it," he stated, knowing that it was true. A deep shade of scarlet took over my pale complexion from thinking about our little rendezvous.

"Yeah," I replied, not wanting to have silence hang over us.

"I can't wait until you give yourself to me. All of you." A sharp intake of air entered my lungs from what he said. I doubted I would ever be ready for that, but I also would have never thought this would have happened. It was so pleasing, and a wonderful distraction. The only thing on my mind was how much I needed more. He could be my distraction.

Finnick could be the cure to my madness.