Disclaimer: All recognizable parts belong to the TV sries Navy CIS and its respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended. All the remaining people, locales and events are either invented by the author or used fictitiously. The advice given by the doctors in this story are in no way intended as real medical advice. If you've got health issues, please go see your doctor or health practitioner.

A/N: Right now I'm doing the NaNoWriMo, and this is something to clear my head and cool my heels. The idea for this story has been bugging me for a long time and I hope that the topic won't scare all of you readers off :) To give fair warning: the chapters will be short and unbetaed, and in the beginning they'll be very Tony-centric. Also, this is my take on Tony gaining weight in later seasons, and how he's coping with that. If that's not your cup of tea, please don't flame. You have been warned.

Tags: m/m themes, health issues, healthy eating and living, self-discovery, friendship, love

Love Me Green

Part 1

"I'm sorry, Anthony, but your blood work has gotten worse over the last year, and you've gained nearly forty pounds since you started here," Ducky said and took off his latex gloves. "It's not as bad as to relegate you to mandatory gym courses, but if we take your compromised lungs into consideration, it might very well make you ineligible for field work next year, depending on the doctor who's doing your examination."

What?

"What?" Tony croaked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my boy," Ducky said and blinked at him through his glasses. "Should I have phrased that more gently?"

"No, Ducky, but I … forty pounds?" Incredulous, Tony stared down at himself. His paunch stared right back. "Fuck."

"That's only about five pounds per year, it's not unusual for people not to notice when they gain it that slowly. There was that one case when I was still a student-"

Tony cut him off. "How could that happen?"

"The usual way, I assume. Forgive me if my question seems stupid, but don't you have a scale at home?"

"No." Tony shook his head, still reeling.

Ducky waved Jimmy over to take the blood samples and motioned for Tony to button up his shirt. "And why is that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. My body just told me what it needed. As long as the clothes still fit, I wasn't worried."

"Ah, I understand. Unfortunately our lifestyle allows for too much ballast to weigh us down." Ducky patted his belly. "And as you can see, not even I am immune to their seduction, and I should know better."

Tony sighed. "How bad is it really? Can they put me on desk duty next year? Or rather, will they?"

"Desk duty?" Jimmy asked, alarmed.

"Not yet, Mr. Palmer, not yet, but our Anthony here has just faced the first visible signs of age and good living and is a little concerned about his abilities in the field."

"Oh, yes." Jimmy gestikulated with his hands. "You have … I mean you were more, or rather, less, when I first met you."

"Thank you, autopsy gremlin," Tony said snidely, "I can see that for myself." He sighed deeply, suddenly all anger gone. "Now, at least. Damn it to hell." He jumped off the metal table and straightened his clothes.

"Not yet, DiNozzo," said Gibbs as he walked in. "You done with the fitness test, Ducky?"

"Oh, yes, you're right on time, Jethro."

"Good. Get a move on, DiNozzo! Dead marine outside of Quantico. Grab your gear!"

"Personal booty call, just great." Tony smiled weakly at Ducky. "I guess I'll take the stairs from now on, huh?"

Smiling, Ducky pumped his fist. "That's the spirit!"

oOo

When he finally got home, Tony got a beer from the fridge, threw himself onto his sofa and put his feet up on the couch table. He was still shaken by his examination and cursed himself for his carelessness. He'd known that he'd gotten too comfortable, too involved in this life and with the people at NCIS. It had made him lazy.

Regular TV disappointed yet again, so Tony switched to Netflix and scrolled through the movies and TV series on offer. He wasn't in the mood for action, but romance and comedy didn't turn up anything that roused his interest, either. There was, however, a movie that kept being recommended.

"Fat, Sick And Nearly Dead," Tony read out loud. He pulled a face before glancing at his sadly prominent belly. "Damn it."

He chose the movie, too annoyed to hunt for another, and settled back into the couch cushions.

The next two or so hours passed quickly, almost too quickly for Tony to grasp it all. He found himself eerily reminded of himself, as the film maker, Joe, described his attitude of too much work and stress and too little of the good things in life like exercise, relaxation, and good food.

Then it got interesting. As Joe changed his way of eating, his body changed as well. Tony was stunned how quickly the man lost excess fat and shed health issues left, right, and center. Then came Phil, the morbidly obese truck driver, and it got even more astonishing.

At the end of the movie, Tony sat for a moment, deliberating, before he got up, took out his trash bags and cleaned out his closets. He didn't even give himself time to think about it, he just went to the refuse chute and threw it all away.

That done, he grabbed his phone and dialled.

"Brad? Sorry for disturbing you so late, but I need a favour …"

oOo

On the next day, Tony sacrificed his lunch hour to visit Dr. Brad Pitt at Bethesda Hospital.

"Good to see you, Tony," Brad said affably. "I had hoped to get together soon, anyway, so this was a nice surprise. Lose the shirt and hop onto the stretcher, alright?"

"Same here. Thanks for seeing me at such short notice," Tony replied and sat a little straighter than normal as he undressed. "It's really kind of important to me."

"You're welcome." Brad took Tony's blood pressure and temperature, listened to his heart beat and tested his pressure points. "What brought this on, though? You sounded almost manic, to be honest."

"I know. It's just … I had my annual physics yesterday, and what Ducky told me wasn't good." Ruefully, he indicated his soft body. "Not a huge surprise, eh?"

A kind look came over Brad's face. "No, but don't beat yourself up about it too much. You were told to take it a bit easier, to rest a little. I know I did. And I'm guessing that you didn't change your diet accordingly. That's usually the main problem."

"Yes, my so-called diet," Tony growled. "I want to change that now. Better late than never and all that jazz."

"Oh, that's good." Brad prepared Tony's arm to take a blood sample. "But wouldn't Ducky be the obvious choice to help you with that?"

"Not really, no," Tony replied. "I don't want the others at NCIS to know what I plan to do, and Ducky is a blabbermouth. It'll be bad enough without their stupid comments."

"And the plan is?" Brad asked. He punctured the vein and drew a couple of vials of blood.

"I saw this movie yesterday, Fat, Sick And Nearly Dead, and I want to go on a juice fast."

"Seriously? Or are you having me on?" Brad grinned.

Mulishly, Tony turned down the corners of his mouth. "No. I want to do this, and I'm going to do this. I have to. I feel like a fat pig. One of these days, McOstrich is going to outrun me on his stupid stork legs, and he'll never let me live it down."

Brad withdrew the needle and dabbed at the small wound. His smile, if possible, got even brighter. "This is great news, Tony. I watched that movie a couple of years back with my then-girlfriend, right when it came out. Gave me a right kick in the pants, and I've never looked back." He stepped back and motioned to Tony's shirt. "All done, you can get dressed. Your lungs sound okay, considering what you've been through, but they could be better."

Tony put his undershirt and dress shirt back on and sighed. "Do you think I can do it? Will it help with the lungs, too?"

"Definitely yes to both," Brad said without hesitation. "It may be challenging, but I actually wanted to go on a fast myself next month. Maybe we could be buddies, get through this together? Of course I'll double as your doctor and make sure everything is alright."

"You're serious?"

"Yes, of course. I love fasting, but I don't like how it's making me feel, especially during the first few days. It's good to have someone who won't take my pissiness personal." He chuckled. "Man, you're going to hate me and the whole thing before the second day is over."

"Doesn't matter. When can we start?"

Brad laughed again. "Not before you've prepared for it. It's good that you came to me, I'll check your stats and find out what you need, nutrition-wise. Your body might react very violently if you just go cold turkey. "

"Cold turkey?" Tony asked dubiously.

"You're so full of crap - sorry - that you might literally poison yourself if you detox too quickly right away." Brad took a pencil and scribbled something on a notepad. "You've got two weeks until the first of March. I want you to learn as much about this stuff as you can. Watch youtube videos, read blogs and buy books. Also, go visit your nearest Whole Foods store or whatever health store is close to your apartment. Tell them what you want to do and they'll help you pick out the things you need."

Tony read through the list and raised his eyebrows. "Shit, that's one hell of a to-do list."

"It's a steep learning curve, but well worth it."

Looking at Brad's handsome face and steely body, Tony had to agree. "Yeah, I hope so."

End of part 1