Hi its me JadeWest1234 im ok so don't worry.; Ok so i was planning to do a short story to tell you about all the people slap updates if you haven't read them on the internet yet ok so each person will go in chapters Jade will be the first one.
List of Jade West updates;
Jade: Isn't it awesome that my boyfriend joined TheSlap and never told me? Awesome.
Cat: No way! What a jerk! No offense, Beck, I think you're awesome.
Beck: Thanks, Cat. Jade, I joined two hours ago.
Jade: Yeah, exactly. TWO HOURS!
Jade: I hate lullabyes. Why would you sing to a baby while they're trying to sleep? Oh yeah, I hate babies.
Cat: Do you hate my profile page? Cuz there's baby heads all over it.
Jade: I hate October.
Jade: My dreams are exhausting. I wake up needing a nap.
Jade: Mustard is disgusting. Also, if you wear pink, I really don't like you.
Cat: I wear pink and I eat mustard. Do you hate me? Please say no.
Jade: You have no idea the hatred I feel for most people.
Cat: Phew. At least I'm not most people. I'm Cat.
Jade: Do you think an orange is named after the color or the fruit? If you even thought about that for 2 seconds, you're stupider than I thought.
Jade: Merry Christmas, losers.
André: And a merry Christmas to you, my lady.
Jade: Happy Valentine's Day (to Beck only).
Beck: Thank you, babe. Movies tonight?
Jade: You know how I love the dark! See ya there.Current Avatar.
Added by Catsvalentine
Jade: What I'm doing right now is none of your business.
Jade: Met a new girl this week. I won't say who she is. I'll only say that she sung Make It Shine in the Big Showcase. And her name is Tori Vega.
Jade: Sometimes I think that I'm having fun and then I realize I'm not.
Jade: Got a haircut today. Didn't even hurt. Such a waste of time.
Jade: Dogs are cute on TV, but in reality they're just balls of fur that drool on you.
Jade: I got hit in the eye by TORI.
Jade: I liked volcanic ash before, but now that my teacher is stuck in London for an indefinite amount of time, I like it even more!
Robbie: Wanna hear my song about volcanic ash?
Jade: No.
Jade: You know what matches black? Black. Why waste time with all those other colors?
Jade: Oh great. Spring is here. All the things I hate: Sun, allergies, and girls who go to the beach in tiny bikinis.
Cat: Yay, let's go to the beach! BTW, I got a new bikini! It's yellow and has pink polka dots on it!
Jade: Beck and I are NOT breaking up- No matter what you hear!
Beck: Well-
Jade: Shut it, Beck.
Jade: Comment on stuff you hate! I'm working on a What I Hate video!
Jade: Sweating is for morons.
Jade: I love it when it rains and people get scared and pull over on a freeway. It's not like a meteor shower, people!
Jade: You know what I hate? When people stick the same knife they used for the jelly in the peanut butter jar. What if I just want peanut butter. Gross!
Jade: Bad thing about summer is how long it stays light out. Every day seems like an eternity.
Jade: Dear girl sitting next to me at the movies, your hair is an obnoxious color. Dye it anything but that.
Cat: Do you mean me? Sent from Cat's mobile phone.
Jade: Get off the phone and watch the movie!
Jade: Yep, it's that time of the month again. Time for a new What I Hate video. Enjoy it. Or don't.
Jade: My mom says "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all." My mom's stupid.
Jade: Pink stinks.
Tori: The color?
Jade: Yep. Just needed to be said.
Jade: The next person I hear using the phrase "Staycation" is getting a black eye.
Jade: Has anyone seen Sikowitz?
Sikowitz: I'm on TheSlap.
Jade: Yeah...but you're not in class.
Sikowitz: Nor will I be until my demands are met.
Jade: You sound like a crazy person.
Jade: People shouldn't talk in the bathroom. I hate people yapping while I'm taking a waz!
Jade: Thursdays have no redeeming qualities.
Jade: This is a crisis. My day's completely ruined. just found out that "killing me softly" is a really sweet song.
Jade: In the janitor's office... destroying stuff...
Jade: I HATE Valentine's Day BUT I do think it would be fun to be cupid. Flying around shooting people with arrows and what not.
Jade: The flowers Beck bought me for Valentine's Day are ALMOST dead. Woo hoo!
André: You are one twisted sister.
Jade: The only good thing about costume design class is all the many different types of scissors we get to play with. Fun.
Jade: I'd like to fast forward through high school and get to the goood stuff!
Jade: The best part about being in a movie is being able to slap people and call it "acting".
Cat: Your acting made my face hurt. :(
Jade: I hate rainbows. After it rains, L.A.'s all nice and gloomy and they come along and ruin it.
Jade: Which do you think is worse? Being caught lip synching or falling off the stage? I can't decide. I find both hilarious.
Jade: I got a new look going on. Don't compliment me on it. I don't need your compliments.
Tori: It looks… nice? Is that a okay word to use?
Jade: Dear lemonade, I like you most when you're bitter... and in a can.
Jade: Now that I've accomplished my dream of pushing Tori off a 3 story building, I don't know what to do with my life.
Jade: I'm so sick of ice cream right now. Just hearing the word "ice cream" makes me want to puke.
Rex: Ice Cream
Tori: Ice Cream
André: Ice Cream
Jade: I HATE you all!
Jade: Alright, who gave Sinjin my phone number? Fess up
Sinjin: It was Robbie.
Robbie: Dude!
Jade: Wait... who gave Robbie my phone number?
Jade: Why does our school even have 1st-floor windows if you're not allowed to push people out of them?
Jade: Wouldn't it be horrible if Tori was too injured and/or missing to be in the play tonight?!
Sikowitz: Jade, I've already told you not to passive-aggressively threaten the leading lady.
Jade: Saturday night. Kind of bored. Think I'll go destroy Tori's "Prome" (which is a totally stupid name by the way).
Jade: I'm planning on having a Hawaiian wedding. That way, if anyone objects, I can throw them in the nearest volcano.
Jade: I hate when people say "I'll pencil you in". Um, no one uses pencils anymore.
Jade: What's black and white and red all over? Me. I have a black & white dress on OVER my completely sunburned skin! #ReasonToStayInside
Beck: I told you to wear sunscreen.
Jade: You should know that I never do anything anyone tells me to do.
Jade: I'm judging a 7th grade art show tonight. Gonna make some middle schoolers cry! Sounds like my kinda night!
Jade: Another day of sunshine?! Are you kidding me LA?!
Jade: Today is my birthday. I know I said I hate birthdays… but I just meant everyone else's. Not mine. Mine's cool.
Tori: Happy Birthday!
Jade: Don't patronize me.
Tori: Sorry, sheesh!
Jade: I took home my dissected frog from science class. I named him "Gutsy"
Cat: I would have named him Hopper!
Jade: Uh, maybe six months ago that name would have been better, Cat.
Jade: If you have more than 2 bumper stickers on your car...I hate you!
Festus: Say one bad thing about my Grub Truck and I ban you for life.
Jade: Yeah, well I'll get my ravioli from some other truck.
Jade: My family is planning a trip to Florida. Hurricanes, giant spiders, and old people. I can barely contain my excitement.
Jade: I just thought of something I DON'T hate: Seeing girls with 6" high heels trip and fall over at the mall. Just so satisfying.
Jade: Beck's taking me on a date to a movie in a cemetery. Looks like he's finally figured out what makes girls happy. About time.
Jade: Y'know, being a door to door knife salesman would be a perfect cover for a serial killer.
Andre: You terrify me sometimes.
Jade: Yeah, I'd be REEEEEEALLY broken up if Tori was kicked out of Hollywood Arts. And it would be TERRIBLE to win the lottery too, wouldn't it?
Beck: I thought we talked about this? You said you'd stop being mean to Tori on TheSlap.
Jade: I say a lot of nice things about Tori on TheSlap but somehow they never post to my profile. #weird.
Jade: If I had a pool, I'd buy a pet shark and some leeches. Then I'd have a pool party!
Cat: Yeah! Pool party!
Jade: I gotta say Tori, that was one of the best plays I've ever seen! Congratulations!
Tori: You only liked it because my sister got hurt, the set was destroyed, and the play was ruined!
Jade: True. But I don't give compliments often so you should take what you can get.
Jade: Someone asked me to "babysit" their poodle. They didn't appreciate that I shaved it. Not sure what they expected would happen.
Jade: The bad news: I think I have the whooping cough. The good news: My voice sounds really sultry now.
Jade: Been text-fighting Beck all day. My fingers are starting to hurt. Time to start yelling at him in person.
Jade: What do you think would be worse? Being stuck on a desert island with Tori or having to talk to Sinjin for more than 5 minutes?
Tori: C'mon, I'm not that bad.
Sinjin: I can't believe Jade just talked about me in a status update!
Jade: Sinjin sat his stupid butt on my fave scissors and now he's in the hospital getting stitches. What's he crying about? My scissors are RUINED!
Jade: I just bought a package of the hottest peppers that can legally be sold in the US. Whose sandwich should I hide one in first?
Jade: One more thing I hate about Halloween: I never know if I'm walking thru a real spiderweb or a fake one. Ugh.
Jade: I hate when I order miso soup and the waiter asks if I want soup with that. Why would I want soup with my soup!?
Jade: I was going to help this little old lady with her bags at the grocery store, but then I remembered that I don't help people.
Jade: Dear Hollywood Arts, I'll actually play a school sport when you get a Roller Derby team. I like any sport where you're allowed to elbow someone in the face.
Lane: Wait, aren't you already on the school Ping Pong team?
Jade: Oh. Right… That's totally a real thing.
Jade: I hate that Black Friday is just a day where everyone goes shopping at the mall. What a waste of a cool holiday name.
Jade: Loud talkers should be taken into a tiny room and shouted at for hours until they get how annoying it is.
Jade: Ugh… I'm Tori's Secret Santa. What did I ever do to Christmas that it hates me so much?!
Jade: I like to think of vending machines as big glass piñatas. Which is why I'm not allowed to take a bat to school anymore.
Jade:Any day you get to use a bone saw is a good day.
Jade: I really like Ebenezer Scrooge. He seems like my kind of dude. Well, that is until the end when he gets all happy and annoying.
Jade: Why is everyone so pumped for 2012? Isn't the world supposed to end this year? Actually that sounds pretty exciting.
Jade: First day back at school and we get leftovers at the Grub Truck! Ummm, is this leftovers from two weeks ago?
Festus: Some food is better when left to ripen.
Tori: Not meatloaf!
Jade: Beck wants to take me to a musical, but I'm not sure I'll be able to hear it over the sound of my own gagging.
Jade: I hate people whose names rhyme. That's right… I'm talking to you Sherman Berman.
Andre: Hey don't mess with Sherman. He's good people.
Cat: Yeah, plus his name's really fun to say. Sherman Berman. Sherman Berman.
Jade: I HATE the fact that I got detention this Saturday but I LOVE the fact that Tori got it too. I'm so conflicted.
Jade: Seriously, is everyone at this school vegan? Makes me wanna eat a medium-rare extra-bloody prime rib out of spite.
Jade: I hate baby food! What, is chewing too hard for you babies? Well, why don't you stop crying and grow some teeth already!
Sikowitz: Geez, who sprinkled bitterness in your coffee this morning?
Jade: Hey Robbie and Andre, if you can see this status update... IT'S HAMMAR TIME!
Andre: Awww, man.
Robbie: Nooooo, I'm on the toilet!
Jade: Do it anyway!
Jade: Grammar lesson! It's not "Look, it's a pic of Beck and I" it's "Look, its 'a' pic of Beck and Me"! Get it right, people!
Jade: Yeah, yeah. Beck and I broke up. Can we talk about something else now… like how annoying Tori is?
Tori: Look I know you're hurt, but don't drag me into this.
Jade: I'm giving you 10 seconds to delete your comment.
Tori: I don't know how. :(
Jade: I refuse to bless people after they sneeze. What, just cuz your nose had a spasm you think people should care?
Jade: I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT! HOPE THIS DOESN'T MAKE BECK JEALOUS!
Cat: But I thought you were coming over tonight to help me watch my mom's boss's dog.
Jade: SHUT UP!
Jade: I hate when I think of something that I hate, but forget what it is when it's time to write it down.
Jade: On a forced play date with Tori. Yes, it's as horrible as it sounds. I officially hate Sikowitz.
Jade: I hate D.J.s. Oh wow, you can place a record on a record player. Congratulations!
Jade: Heads up people: Tomorrow, on St. Patrick's Day, I will NOT be wearing green. And if anyone tries to pinch me… I will do bad things to them.
Jade: I can't believe I was so nice to Tori today. April Fools' Day does weird things to a person.
Jade: Hey Easter Bunny, do you care that 25 million Americans have diabetes? No, don't worry, just keep handing out sugar-coated chocolate eggs.
Jade: I don't like driving during the day… but I'll make an exception to drive Tori somewhere "special."
Tori: You're really freaking me out right now.
Jade: Had to wear a pink dress today for a role. I quit the play. I think everyone won.
Jade: Dear people of the internet: putting a vintage filter on your photos doesn't make your lame trip to the supermarket suddenly cooler.
Jade: Going to go explore a creepy abandoned mall this weekend. Anyone wanna come?
Tori: Sounds fun! Is it legal?
Jade: Uh...yeah?
Jade: If you just emailed me something, you don't need to then IM and text me to tell me that you emailed me. I'll get it.
Jade: So yeah, I let Tori perform on the Platinum Music Awards instead of me. Whatever. The stupid costume they made is itchy anyways.
Jade: At the pharmacy. Across the counter there's a prescription marked "T. Vega". I'm dying to see what it is.
Tori: What? Don't look in it!
Jade: Too late. Just did. It's foot fungus cream
Jade: I don't know why everyone loves that video of the piano-playing dog. He can't even keep a decent tempo. Amateur.
Andre: You know, for once I agree with you.
Jade: Just wanna write down some things I hate: rainbows, award shows, the fact that the status can't fit all the stuff I hate.
Jade: I have no eyebrows and I'm really mad about it... even if my brows can't properly show emotion right now.
Jade: Im so gonna get you Cat
Jade: I absolutely love when celebrities try to make a joke on award shows and they just bomb. Live awkwardness is the best!
Jade: I'm so sad hockey season is over. I saw two dudes fighting on the street today, but they weren't on skates. It just wasn't the same.
Jade: Papparazzi is everywhere at the Grove today. Barely any room to walk. Thank you Kourtney for showing up and ruining my Friday.
Jade: Starring in a movie where my character is "clueless." I've been studying Cat for years so I think I can pull it off.
Cat: Glad I could help!
Jade: A TV star just moved into the house next door. But it's just a basic cable TV star so I'm not that excited.
Jade: For some reason I let Robbie borrow my phone and now it's all janked up. Man, Robbie ruins everything he touches.
Jade: I just can't take any monster seriously that lives in a lagoon. Sorry Creature from the Black Lagoon. Maybe if you switched locations.
Jade: I hate when you go to a new restaurant and you match the waitresses' uniform - 3 people asked me for a menu on my way to the bathroom!
Jade: In the TV show I'm writing, I play the main character and her evil twin.
Rex: Well you won't have to act much to play the evil twin.
Jade: You know, some people love to go to the beach and sit for hours waiting for the sunrise. I hate those people.
Jade: Even as a child, I only ever used the black crayon.
Jade: I'm really sick but showed up to school anyway. I'm trying to see if I can aim my sneezes at people.
Jade: Although I reallllllllyyyyyy don't want to babysit anyone's kids, I'm kind of offended that no one ever asks me to do it.
Jade: Ugh! Hanging out with the Vega sisters all night is literally the worst thing I can think of. Well that and being squashed by a meteor.
Jade: This is kind of a strange question, but does anyone have a pair of bolt cutters I could borrow?
Tori: I do. But will I regret letting
Jade: ... probably.
Jade: I'm currently outside in a back alley watching two nerds slap themselves. Has my life really come to this?
Jade: I hate wire hangers. Seriously mom, you couldn't spend the extra 5 cents for the plastic ones? Ugh. I have hanger anger.
Jade: There are three sushi places within walking distance. But I hate walking. So I ate a nasty sushi roll from The Grub Truck. I'm lazy sometimes.
Jade: The guy at the coffee place put raisins in my oatmeal! I HATE RAISINS! No one talk to me for the rest of the day!
Jade: Tori is soooo pathetic trying to impress Moose. Can anyone come over and help me fit into this wedding dress?
Jade: I don't love much, but I love my Zombie Smasher game. If you haven't played it yet, don't talk to me until you have.
Jade: It really annoys me that everyone's going to look like me on Halloween. I think I'll wear pink to stand out.
Jade: I love the fall. I can go outside at 5 pm and not have to deal with it being all bright and cheery out. Take that, sun!
Jade: 1) Beck and I are back together again. 2) All girls must stay at least 30 feet away from him at all times. 3) I'm not kidding.
Jade: Why are sweater sleeves never the right size? It's like they only design winter gear for short-armed weirdos.
Robbie: As a short-armed American, I find your comment offensive.
Jade: Eh, why don't you just go and scratch the middle of your back. Oh that's right, you can't!
Robbie: :(
Jade: Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice, right? Then how do I keep getting presents? Cuz I haven't been "nice" in a long time.
Jade: I'm watching a movie about a green guy who steals Christmas presents, and it's giving me a lot of good ideas.
Jade: As a fan of the number 13, I think this will be a spectacular year for me.
Jade: Why is everyone laughing at me today? Did I turn into Burf overnight or something?
Rex: I don't NOSE. Why would they be laughing at you?
Tori: Check out Pear Maps. I think you'll have a bone to PICK with it.
Beck: Guys don't be mean. It's SNOT what it looks like.
Jade: You know what I could buy with $10,000? A new tooth! Which I now need because of that stupid game show. Thanks Tori.
Jade: Great, I'm the star of the worst short film of all time. I mean, I was great but everything else was terrible! (Especially Robbie.)
Jade: My favorite part about Tori getting dragged by a dog while attempting to sing the National Anthem was all of it.
Jade: What's so hard to understand about a bunless, meatless, dairyless cheeseburger? Get it together Inside-Out Burger!
Tori: Ummm, what's left? Did you just want them to serve you air?