Chapter 3 - Losing Control

Loki's heart pounded against his chest, attempting an escape. The air grew thin, and darkness squeezed around him like a constrictor. He needed space to think. Despite so many other places worthy of exploration, of course, they would land in Jotunheim. Blasted side effects.

"Wait here. I will return," he said in a gruff tone, vanishing into the night before Jane could protest.

He rematerialized, sliding down the side of a large rock formation at least a mile from where they landed. His shoulders sagged and his face fell into his hands, strands of hair dusting his skin. His senses rarely led him astray, yet the portal dumped them there instead of Vanaheim as intended.

He hated to lose control—despised it with every fiber of his being. Since his fall into the abyss and the interaction with the Tesseract, nightmares plagued him in waves. Things that brought him amusement months ago, or even hours ago, turned bitter and useless. They needed to escape. The location addled his mind, and he wouldn't stand for it.

I should've destroyed you when I had the chance, he growled at the barren land before him.

He stood and collected himself. His return found Jane clutching a metal box in her hands, spinning slow circles on the icy tundra, lost in thought. Strange—both her behavior and her packing choices.

"The readings in this place are incredible!" Her arm stretched out in front of her as she analyzed the equipment's glowing screen. Her childlike wonder almost amused him but fell short due to his patience wearing thin.

"We have to leave."

"What? We just got here! I want to see everything."

"You still have plenty to see on the other realms. This is merely a stepping stone."

He didn't wait for her reply, initiating a steady pace due north. He should've been more accommodating—beguiled her with his many charms—for the sake of his plans, but his brain screamed at him to escape the frozen planet.

"Ugh! Fine!" Jane grunted, "I bet you're the life of the party back home." She voiced her frustration as she placed her equipment back into her bag and worked to catch up with his long stride. "If this is the grand tour of the nine realms, I'd like a refund."

After walking for over an hour, Jane's footsteps faded. There had been no complaints, but when he turned to rebuke her for dallying, the grim sight troubled him. At some point, she had managed to pull on her sweatshirt, but her lips and fingers sparkled frosty blue and ice melded to her lashes. The harsh, unforgiving temperature of a night on Jotunheim proved too much for a mortal woman to withstand alone. He felt no empathy for the scientist, but he valued keeping his leverage alive.

"We'll have to raise your body temperature if you are to survive," he said as he guided her into a sitting position. "You are weak, rest a moment." He lowered himself beside her as he spoke.

"Are you going to suggest we huddle together for warmth? That may work in the movies, but it won't work on me, m-mister," she said through chattering teeth.

"Certainly not," he replied all too quickly. Not that it would work anyway, with the pathetic chill that flows through my veins. He glided his hands over her frame, keeping them close but not making contact. Tendrils of magic leaped from his touch, massaging her ligaments.

A rosy peach hue returned to her cheeks and her breathing steadied. Jane laid sideways to place her head on the duffle, eyes closed and arms curled around her knees

"Let me rest a minute," she murmured in a haze.

He sighed but chose to appease her since the journey had been long for a mere mortal. He dreaded discovery by the natives but decided to wake her in a few short hours, shortly before dawn. Allowing his eyes to drift close, he analyzed possible scenarios for after they got off the iced-over rock. Though he meant to stay vigilant, he drifted into a deep slumber.

»»-¤-««

"We grow restless, fallen prince. You cannot hide from us."

Loki's stomach churned in recognition of the voice. The Other circled him, pointing shriveled fingers in accusation.

"Did you think he was done with you, foolish boy? I told you if you failed there would be no realm in which you could hide. Stop playing games with your mortal pet. It won't end well unless you bring us the infinity gems."

"It was your forces that failed. They fell to Midgard's group of misfits. You expect me to succeed without a capable army?" Loki said, his features twisted.

"Silence your accusations! The Tesseract isn't our only focus. Odin is gone and both the gem and gauntlet are within the vaults of Asgard. You will bring them to us after you retrieve the others."

"And if I refuse?"

The servant of Thanos laughed. The eerie cackle surrounded him, reverberating through space.

"You are filled with pride, but we know your body craves the rush of power. The withdrawal you feel and the adverse effects will only worsen. Bring us the gems or you'll find out what true pain really is."

"Get out of my head!" He shouted at the hooded creature, drawing his weapon and rushing forward. Before metal could sink into his foe, his vision disintegrated into darkness.

»»-¤-««

Loki flinched as he woke, hand readied upon the hilt of his dagger. Light peaked over the horizon, and he exhaled tension from his body. Just a dream.

His nightmares had been sporadic since his failure on Midgard. They subsided for a time but had been replaced by the equally painful memories of his mother's death. He felt anything but himself recently. There had to be a way to stop the torturous invasions of his mind.

"Jane Foster. Wake up." He spoke firmly. No response. He glanced over her curled form with trepidation. In another attempt, he poked at her middle with his boot.

"Arise, mortal!"

"Ow, cut that out," she mumbled.

"We're leaving. If we continue north we should reach another portal, eventually." He arose and began the second portion of their journey. A sound of annoyance escaped her lips as she jumped up after him.

"You really need to quit with that whole 'I'm going to bark out orders then walk away' routine. Your brother used to tell me stories of your youth together, and he spoke of you with such love. Then the whole New York thing happened, which I won't get into. After that, you saved my life. You even bordered on kindness. Now you alternate between threats, jokes, and taciturn mannerisms. I don't get you."

"I offered to show you the nine realms. I never promised you understanding."

"What happened to you in the abyss? You went from trickster to murderer," she asked quietly.

"You can't comprehend the horrors I've seen—the insidious nature of the things that haunt my dreams. It changes you." He said it to frighten her into silence; he didn't want to talk about his feelings, but as the words escaped his lips, he realized they rang true.

They traveled for hours, only breaking a few times to let Jane recuperate. He wondered if he had lost the ability to sense the gateways completely until he finally felt one's presence, giving him a renewed sense of direction. The portal could lead anywhere, but that gamble was better than staying on Jotunheim. His thoughts halted as the ground shook beneath them.

He stopped abruptly, holding a hand out towards Jane in warning. With a tilt of his head, he listened to the sound of growing thunder. Images of Thor flashed through his mind but proved false when nothing more than growing vibrations pulsed beneath his feet. He knelt down and placed an ear to the ground. The sound's origin grew louder, heading straight for them at break-neck speed.

"Run!" He sprung to his feet, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her behind him as he launched forward.

»»-¤-««

Jane yelped when he nearly yanked her arm from its socket but managed to steal a glance behind her as they bolted. Her eyes went wide, and her face paled. A giant feline shaped beast with snow tipped scales and glowing eyes pursued them with powerful strides, covering ground too quickly for them to escape. The ground cracked beneath its claws as it ran. Ice and debris flew through the air and the whole world quaked beneath her.

The monster closed in on them, its loud growl piercing the winter air. It pushed off its strong hind legs, landing beside them with a mighty crash. The animal's heavy spiked tail swung into a nearby stone pillar, sending rock splinters soaring. It swiped at her with sharp claws before she could react, sending her flying through the air like a rag doll.

"Jane!"

She vaguely heard her name, but time seemed to slow. Snapped ribs and shredded skin overwhelmed her senses. The beat of her heart sounded loud in her ears, convincing her it was the end. She collided with the hard ground, her breath cut short on impact.

Loki catapulted himself onto the monster's back, dagger drawn. He didn't hesitate, driving the blade deep into its skull. The creature let out a mangled roar, twisting and jerking its body. He was thrown off, skidding to a halt on the ice. Waving his limbs in the air, he screamed at the creature to no avail. When that failed, he sent a blast of energy surging into its reptilian skin. The beast gnashed its teeth and turned its icy gaze upon him.

He sprinted toward the nearest cliff, leading it away from Jane. She tried to drag herself up but searing pain froze her in place. It lumbered after Loki, swinging and snarling. He ducked and dove, barely able to disappear in time. He made it to the edge and split into a full line up of duplicates. A full row of Lokis all yelled and goaded the behemoth to make a final attack. It lunged forward for the kill but mauled only air as the façade dissipated beneath it. The predator toppled, sliding over the icy precipice into the darkness below. As the monster's cries faded away, Loki pulled himself to his feet.

He used his magic to return to her and slipped down onto his knees, bending over to examine the damage. Her muscles ached and she struggled to breathe. Through blurred vision, she watched Loki focus intently on the task. Skin and bone slowly wove together piece by piece, influenced by his spells. She barely clung to consciousness, but the deep wounds that splayed across her abdomen were now no more than scars.

He gently placed his arms under her back and knees, lifting her up as he stood. She couldn't keep her head from wobbling as they walked, and the biting wind stung her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered shut as they pushed forward.

»»-¤-««

As Thor rushed towards Jane's front door he found Darcy sitting on the front steps. He'd never seen her in such a panic.

"I have no idea what to do!" she shouted, jumping to her feet. "Jane's missing. She texted me about a note at her house, but there wasn't one. She didn't explain at all, and I'm freakin' out, man! You have to find her. Which reminds me, you really need a direct line to Asgard, buddy." The brunette rambled on in panic, barely taking the time to breathe as she fiddled with the phone in her lap.

He clenched his fists tight at the news. He had expected it, but finding out for sure that Jane was with his brother pained him. Nothing could be done until he freed his father. He sighed as he looked down at the frazzled girl pacing the yard.

"Loki has taken her and hidden our father away. I don't think he will hurt Jane, but I will do everything in my power to get her back to us. He is masking their whereabouts, but I have a plan."

"I should've known that slimy serpent had something to do with this. I assume the plan doesn't involve New Mexico. So, when are we leaving?"

"We? No, you should stay here in case Jane returns. This mission could be dangerous," he said, attempting to dissuade her.

"Hey, you may be an all-powerful space Viking, but you can't get rid of me that easily. Can't we just hop on Myeu-muh and zoom off to save her?"

"Mjolnir," he corrected.

"Whatever, let's get a move on!" Darcy stepped up to him and poked his breastplate impatiently.

"Alright, you can come, but only to speak to Tony about the plan." He took hold of her elbow and glanced up at the sky, calling to Heimdall to send them to New York. Within seconds they were engulfed in pure white.

»»-¤-««

The first strokes of night brushed against the sky, yet still, Jane slept in his arms. As they traversed the open expanse, a faint curl of smoke rose in the distance. He sped up but maintained a watchful eye. When they drew close he recognized it as a longhouse. The home seemed lived in, or at least recently occupied. Small lights and shadows caressed each other, playfully peeking through the structure's glass panes.

He strained to hear any noise or indication of life inside. Finally convinced of their safety, he kicked open the door. Jane's breathing grew shallow. He rushed toward a stone bed, covered in animal furs, which sat across from the hearth. As he laid her down, the warm fire cast light over her dark circles and strained features.

Someone would return to the house eventually, and he had to be ready. Hatred for the realm still flowed through him. If it were up to him he would erase every last one of the miserable inhabitants. As he considered all the bloody alternatives, the shuffling of feet grew near. His shoulders tensed, and he crept outside to intercept the enemy.

An animal carcass hit the terrain with a solid thud. A Jotun hunter unloaded his gear against the side of the house, humming a soft melody. As the frost giant bent down to separate the game, Loki swept forward with the element of surprise. He jumped onto his back, dragging him to the ground. Amidst the struggle, he was able to wrap his hands around giant's throat. The victim's raw fear radiated from him as Loki clenched tighter, causing the hunter to gasp and sputter.

A shocked wail of despair caused him to snap back to reality. A young boy, no older than ten, stood before him. The child's eyes were filled with tears threatening to break the dam, pure horror staining his innocence.

"F-father…" he squeaked, choking back a sob.

Loki felt as though he had been punched in the gut. For a moment his eyes locked with the grief-stricken kid. The mix of blue skin, deep pain and a shattered life was overwhelming, too much like looking in a mirror. He couldn't bring himself to kill the hunter. Destroying a realm from the safety of the Bifrost was far easier.

"Get out of here!" He yelled. "Both of you." Hands shaking, he growled in desperation. "Go!"

The frost giant stumbled to his feet and grabbed the little boy. No words were exchanged and they didn't look back. Just a father and son running in fear through the snow. Loki heard a gasp and glanced over his shoulder. Jane leaned in the doorway, emotions as clear as an open book. Her lips formed a frown, and she looked as though her heart had broken.

"Why try to kill him?" She managed to whisper.

He shifted away again, finding solace in distancing himself. Wiping his palms on his pants, he stood up, still keeping his back to her.

She would hate him if she knew the truth—that he was just as angry about letting the man go as he was over hurting him.

"You finally got to see the monster," he said in a solemn tone.

"Before he died, my father once told me that those who are heartless once cared too much," she replied.

He let her statement simmer in his mind as he brushed past her to gather dried meats and other supplies for their journey. He replayed her words over and over in his mind but stayed silent. She was nothing like he expected, but he couldn't dwell on it. They had to leave before the boy and his father told the others where to find them. It was time to run. He was good at running; he had been doing it his whole life.

»»-¤-««

Note: Thank you to everyone for the reviews, kind words, and support. They mean the world to me.