Chapter 1:

Gilbert collapsed onto his bed, his feet dangling off the edge, after pulling an all-nighter and spending the day on the internet blogging and snacking on chips. He just wanted to sleep but his mind wouldn't settle down. He pulled off his bravadic over-self confident mask. Eli, what are you doing right now? He thought before shaking the idea out of his head with a chuckle of disbelief and putting his shallow façade back on. Gilbert knew his mind would wander when he gets über tired, he had stayed up anyway to finish a comment war. He placed his feet flat on the floor and sat up with his elbows on his knees before putting his hands over his face. After all this time he had only just begun to regret handing Elizávétá over to Roderich. He felt a cold chill of loneliness mixed with a raging fire akin to being burned at the stake. Who am I kidding, Eli I- he stopped mid-thought, unable to allow himself to finish the sentence.

He stood and took off his dark blue hoodie he wore at home and his black undershirt as well, he was now topless besides his Teutonic Cross Necklace and wearing only black pajama bottoms with knee high sport socks though he never played sports anymore. Are you changing right now, Eli? He grimaced slightly in the pathetic, loathsome, and seemingly obsessive manner in which he kept thinking about her. He was tired to the point he felt sort of drunk, but only a mild buzz that was enough to throw him off of his usual mindset. He folded his apparel on his bedside table. The man positioned himself to lay on his back in the center of his bed with his arms behind his head. He had a Queen-sized bed (though he wanted a King-size, Ludwig insisted against it), so he had tons of room.

He stared up at the blank white ceiling with a tiny window in the top corner of it, allowing a bit of the outside night sky to be seen. Soft light from the moon shone through and softly lulled him to sleep with whispers of sweet nothings. Eli, I love you.

Gilbert awoke in the middle of the night dripping with sweat and huffing as if he had ran a mile. He leaned up and pulled his knees up a bit to lean forward and cover his face as he rubbed his face. It was wet. He pulled his face away from his hands and rubbed his fingers together before rubbing his face so as to assure it was from his face and not some other source. He pulled at the back of his shirt as if to air it out but gave up when he realized he would be better off taking a shower. He sniffled and rubbed his eyes before trying to get a grip before getting up. Alright, I was dreaming about Old Fritz and all the awesome battles and wars we had and then he... He covered his face once more and took a deep breath so he didn't start crying again. He swiveled his legs to head to the shower to wash off the cold-sweat he had. His feet dragged on the carpet as he walked over to the bathroom that was connected to his room. He grimaced and flinched at the blinding light that burned his eyes when he turned the light on but quickly adjusted to it as he reached into the shower to let the water run until it was hot. He then stood in front of the mirror above the sink, gripping the front edge of the sink he stared straight into his own eyes, assessing how bad his dark ruby eyes looked after crying for god knows how long. He took a deep breath and held it as he tried to finish remembering what his dream was about. With a voice that came out as a sigh because it was too weak to come out on its own, he spoke the painful words out loud.

"Old Fritz is, has been long dead for a long, long time and he's never, ever coming back." His voice cracked at the end as he felt the heartbreaking burn of loss in his throat as he held in his tears. The room began to fill with warm, lingering mist as the water heated up. He sighed as he pulled his shirt over his head and pulled off his pants and boxers, and socks. He stepped into the shower and let his tears flow when the water cascaded down. He let out a short, high pitched whine as he was engulfed by the pain of losing Frederick as if he had just lost him all over again. Gilbert had loved him, after all, he was a father or mentor figure for him as he was a child. He sobbed like a little baby for a few minutes before he calmed down and just stood in the flowing hot water in a numb, dazed expression. He didn't have much time to let his emotions run free, he had to get a reign on them because he froze as he heard the floorboards creak above him, in Ludwigs bedroom. He pulled himself together and restlessly, but thoroughly washed his hair and the rest with god-speed before quickly stepping out of the shower. He expected Ludwig to come down the stairs leading to his room and come tell him he was leaving to go do god knows what like he did all the time. His younger brother made the wooden steps creak as he stepped down the stairs.

"Gilvert?" He snapped his eyes to the bathroom door since it was shut. Scheisse. He imagined his brother twisting the door handle to his room and standing in the doorway to his bedroom, staring at an empty unkempt bed and then seeing the faint glow of light emanating from the bathroom door. He heard timid footsteps coming toward the bathroom and quickly wrapped a towel around his waist to cover himself so as to not scare his brother half to death. He took a deep breath to compose himself. "G-Gilvert? Are you in there?" He heard Ludwig ask. He then opened the door a sliver until Ludwig could see his face and stuck his head out into the cold room. It took his brother aback a bit.

"Yes, Lud. 'Just took a quick shower," Gil said, though leaving out major parts of why he took a shower.

"Why would you take a shower so early in the day? It's highly unusual..."

"Why? I can't wake up a few hours earlier every once in a while? It's the same with you and waking up super duper late." His younger brother nodded and searched for words to say. When he didn't respond immediately (as Gil expected), he opened the door all the way and made his way past his brother and to his dresser. Ludwig was still searching for the proper words to say, his little brother had always been like that in the early morning. Prussia looked up at him after he had pulled open a drawer. "Did you need something, Mein Bruder? What brought you to my humble cave so early in the morning?" He saw his brothers muscular figure leaning on the threshold of his bathroom. He was wearing a gray undershirt with blue boxers and his bangs were down in his face because he had just awoken and didn't push them back yet.

Ludwig simply made a confirming guttural sound in response as Gil quickly chose a pair of boxers to put on and a gray shirt to wear before sliding open another drawer to search for another pair of sweats. Ludwig leaned off the doorway and made his way to the main door to Gils room, where he had entered. The Preußen quickly pulled on his boxers and pants before shuffling on his shirt. He turned to lay back down on his bed. He looked over to his brother, expecting an explanation for the sudden visit that interrupted his painful, heart-rending time of tears. He squinted to shield his eyes from the bright light shining down the stairs from behind his brother, Gilberts room was in the basement of Ludwigs house. He wasn't very proud that he was leeching off of his little brother but he was thankful he took him in. "Gilvert, did you stay up all night after I left for Feliciano's yesterday?" Gil didn't want to lie but also didn't want to get scolded by his brother even if Gilbert was older. From Gilberts silence, Ludwig crossed his arms and checked his watch with a low sigh. "Vell, it's a little before six in ze morning and I have a World Meeting to attend at 8," Gilbert couldn't help but chuckle at the last part because he knew Ludwig LEAD the meetings, not just attend them. Ludwig took a deep breath before continuing. "Why don't you go text Spain or France or- wait, ugh nevermind..." Ludwigs voice trailed off semi-awkwardly as he scratched the nape of his neck quietly since both Spain and France would be as the meeting as well. Gilbert rose his head and propped it up with his hand, his arm forming a triangle. He gave his brother the same face as the "are you fucking kidding me" meme he had seen. Gilbert was a meme-loving fuck. His brother looked back at him and a bead of nervous sweat began to form on his brow before Gilbert spoke.

"Why don't you just go to your meeting and when you come back we can drink and hang out?" He gave his brother an understanding smile. Ludwig smiled in return and shook his head slightly before heading back up the stairs.

"Yes, that'd be nice." Gilbert was going to go out later anyway to let Gilbird fly around and to assert his awesomeness upon the civilians to pass the time but he was thankful that his brother was worried about him.

"Aye, West." His younger brother turned around and ducked his head to see him because he was already a few steps up. "Have... have a good meeting, Bruder." He gave Ludwig a grateful smile before his brother thanked him and headed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, enclosing Gilbert in a black room.