Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.


'James!' Sirius shouted as he ran from his motorbike through the ruined front garden and into the blown apart cottage. The dread that had been filling his stomach with molten lead since he found Peter's flat abandoned cementing into disbelieving horror. He stumbled over the debris, his eyes intent upon the entry to his best friends' ruined home. The door was hanging off it's hinges and the top half of the cottage was gone completely. All the glass in the windows had shattered and the bright curtains Lily had carefully chosen were shredded and flapping in the gaping window mouths. The shrill, anguished screeching of a baby pierced through the crisp Hallowe'en air. 'Lily! James! Harry!'

Sirius had barely stepped over the threshold of the cottage when his breath left him as if he'd taken a bludger to the stomach. James lay lifeless in the narrow corridor. One arm stretched out across the hallway and the other accordioned, cramped between his side and the paneled wall, his left hand limp over his chest. James' hazel eyes were open, staring, but unseeing, behind his askew glasses and his unkempt hair was flattened slightly beneath his head.

Sirius took a shaky, aching breath as he stared. His heart seemed to have wedged itself into his throat and his stomach was waging a battle against itself in its attempt to empty it's contents. 'James...'

He stepped towards his friend, his first instinct was to drop to his knees at James' side, but he kept his feet moving forward, up the stairs. He had to find Lily. He had to find Harry. He couldn't help James... He'd already failed James, but he could still protect Lily and Harry.

The crying grew louder as Sirius took the stair steps two, three at a time.

'I'm coming, Harry! I'm coming!' He shouted, rounding the corner at the top of the stairs, heading towards Harry's nursery, tripping over the toy broomstick he'd given the baby as a first birthday present. Sirius pushed himself up off the carpeted floor and bolted the last few steps to the open bedroom door, from which emanated the anguished crying.

Lily lay in the centre of the room and Sirius felt the second bludger collide with stomach, knocking from him what little breath he'd recovered. He steeled himself and stepped around Lily's body, going straight to the cot where Harry stood, clutching the bars and screeching. Sirius reached into the cot and picked Harry up just as the baby reached for him. He cradling the little boy to his chest, his hand stroking along the small back and his voice hoarse in Harry's ear, attempting to sooth as his own grief suffocated him.

Harry's little hands clenched in Sirius' robes and his teary face burrowed into Sirius's shoulder. He wailed as he sought comfort from the man he knew as well as anyone. The familiar smell that clung to Sirius, the faint scent of petrol, motorbike wax and floo powder, was comforting and the gentle rocking back and forth combined with the hand stroking circles over his back was bringing the world back into a safe place.

Sirius stared at Lily's blank face as he clutched at Harry with as much need for the stability for which Harry clung to him. His heart felt heavy and leaden. She wasn't lying like James, who lay as he'd fallen. Lily lay with her arms at her sides, her dark red hair soothed carefully around her head. Her eyes were closed and she might have simply been sleeping. Someone else had been here before him. Someone who hadn't paused a moment for James' corpse or Harry's crying, but had taken the time to carefully, lovingly pose Lily.

Sirius held Harry a little tighter. Harry's sobbing had subsided slightly, but he never lessened his hold on Sirius' green robes. Sirius kissed Harry's unruly hair.

This was entirely his fault. He has suggested the worm, the weasel, the snake, the slithering, filthy snake as James and Lily's secret keeper! He was the reason they were dead! He was the reason. He'd killed them. He might as well have cast the curse himself. He'd never been so wrong in his life.

His nose burned as his nostrils flared. His eyes welled with tears he could not fight. Unable to hold back his pain, he carried Harry to the rocking chair in the corner and sat. His shoulders curled inward and he shook with wracking sobs. Harry's tears started afresh and the two sat together sobbing in tandem.

Sirius' devastation washed over him, drowning him and pressing against his chest so that he couldn't breathe. His chest clenched painfully as he fought to push the faces of Lily and James from his mind. Just twelve hours ago, they were laughing and eating together at the table with Remus. His own interactions with Remus and, it seemed, Remus' with him, had been forced, but they kept it civil for the Potters, for James and Lily and baby Harry.

Just twelve hours ago, his best friends had been alive and well. And now they were gone.

Sirius finally took a horribly shaky breath and pulled out his wand. He thought forcefully about the fact that Harry was alive and well in his arms and conjured the feeblest Patronus he'd ever produced. The huge, shaggy dog stood before him, waiting, as Sirius struggled to figure out how to say what needed to be said.

'Padfoot and Lily are dead. Harry's alive. Wormtail betrayed us. I have Harry. I'm taking him to Headquarters.'

Sirius sent the Patronus to Remus, regret and guilt and pain burying deep into his heart. He sent other Patronuses with the same message to Dumbledore, Moody and McGonagall as he thought about Remus. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have thought Remus the spy? Loyal, dedicated Remus? Who loved James and Lily as much as Sirius did himself? How had he ever suspected Remus when simpering, pathetic, attention-mongering Peter sat next to him? When the identity of the real spy was so completely obvious?

When he'd arrived at Peter's hiding place that night to check on him only to find the flat deserted, he'd known. He'd just known, that sinking sort of knowing that threatens to make one physically ill and, when it doesn't, curls comfortingly around a person's heart in a deceptive way that makes no indication that it's deadly grip would tighten slowly, like tendrils of Devil's Snare around the throat - squeezing and suffocating, driving a person mad until death came with a smile like a welcome old friend. It was that sort of knowing had sent him running to the Potter's too late to help anyone but his godson.

'You're okay, Harry,' Sirius whispered. The child had stopped crying, settling into quiet whimpers as he leant against Sirius. Harry looked up at him with big, watery eyes and Sirius gasped. He had thought Harry had been unharmed, hadn't noticed the cut etched across his forehead like lightning. The cut wasn't bleeding, wasn't gapping open. It had already scabbed over, looking as if it had happened a few days ago, but Sirius knew for a fact that it was not. He'd seen Harry yesterday morning when he stopped to bring news to James and Lily and the lightning cut had not been present. Gathering himself, Sirius raised his wand carefully and whispered, 'Episkey.'

Nothing happened. The cut remained as clear as it had just been a few seconds ago. The only thing that changed was Harry began to wail again and Sirius quickly stowed his wand. He rocked Harry until the crying stopped and Harry's hand had once again closed around the fabric of Sirius' robes.

'C'mon, Harry,' Sirius said after he didn't know how long. It was dark outside now and the air chilly. 'We need to get to headquarters. Let's get you some stuff.'

He tried to put Harry back in his cot, but Harry wailed fit to burst an eardrum so Sirius picked him up again, settling Harry on his hip as he moved around. He stepped carefully around Lily and opened the wardrobe door. He couldn't find a bag, so he left and nursery and went to James and Lily's bedroom. He found a bag in a closet, preformed a tricky undetectable extension charm. The charm failed the first time and Sirius tried again, managing it that time, and returned himself and Harry to Harry's nursery.

Sirius went through the room carefully, packing everything important into the bag. All of Harry's clothing went into the bag, his toys, the contents of his changing table, his nappy bag. Sirius shrunk Harry's cot and rocking chair and carefully tucked them into the bag as well. The bag made strange thudding and clanging noises as Sirius and Harry left the bedroom, picking up the toy broomstick and depositing it into the bag as they went to James and Lily's bedroom.

Personal items of James and Lily's went into the bag - photo albums, a hat box full of letters, a quilt Mrs Potter had made for James when he was a teenager, James' Clean Sweep, Harry's stuffed owl and Mr Evans' pocket watch all went into the bag. Sirius found the cat, Circe, hiding beneath the bed and coaxed her into following him downstairs. He went through the rest of the house, Harry in his arms and Circe close at his heels.

Sirius had tucked Harry into a warm jacket and trousers over his onesie, wrapped a blanket around him snuggly and carried both him and the little, rattling bag out to the motorcycle at the curb in front of the cottage. Circe had jumped into the sidecar and Sirius was securing the bag when Hagrid came walking up the sidewalk.

'It's true,' Hagrid croaked.

'Hagrid,' Sirius looked up in surprise.

'Dumbledore said it was true, but I didn't believe 'im,' Hagrid's disbelieving voice was muffled behind his dust-bin sized hand as he wiped the back of it across his face. 'But 'arry's alright, is he?'

'He's got a cut on his forehead, but otherwise he's alright,' Sirius told him, holding the baby so Hagrid could see. Hagrid reached for Harry and Sirius reluctantly placed the baby in Hagrid's arms.

'At least he's gonna be alright,' Hagrid's tears dripped from his face. Sirius fidgited anxiously as he waited for Hagrid to return Harry.

'I'll take Harry back now,' Sirius said, reaching for the swaddled baby in Hagrid's massive arms. 'Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather. I'll look after him. The Muggles'll be coming around soon.'

'I'm sorry, Sirius,' Hagrid shook his head. 'I've got orders from Professor Dumbledore. Little 'arry's off to live with his aunt and uncle.'

"James hasn't got any - You can't possibly mean the Muggles!" Sirius exploded as realization dawned on him. 'Lily's ridiculous sister and her ingrate husband? No! Absolutely not. Harry is not going to live with them!'

'It's Dumbledore's orders,' Hagrid began.

'Dumbledore's as mad as Merlin if he thinks I'm letting my godson be sent off to live with those wretched people!'

'I have to take him to Privet Drive,' Hagrid shook his shaggy head again. 'Dumbledore's waitin' fer me to bring him Harry.'

'Merlin will come back to life and turn me into an Ironbelly before I let Harry James Potter go off to live with the spineless, brainless flower and her parasite infested toad of a husband!' Sirius shouted, pulling his wand out of his pocket. 'Give me my godson, Hagrid! Give me Harry!'

'I can't, Sirius,' Hagrid said, tears pouring down his cheeks into his wild black beard. 'I have to take Harry to Dumbledore.'

'You're going to Privet Drive?' Sirius asked, anger seeping down his neck and flushing his ears beneath his black hair.

'Yes?' Hagrid answer, unsure where Sirius was headed with his question.

'Take my bike,' Sirius gestured at the motorbike, a plan forming in his head. 'Tuck Harry in the sidecar.'

'You sure, Sirius?'

'Of course,' he nodded and watched as Hagrid carefully put Harry into sidecar. He waited until Hagrid took off and steered the motorbike into the air before he turned sharply on his heel and disappeared with a crack like a whip.

Sirius appeared without another ear splitting crack at the end of a dark street, familiar voices ringing through the night's silence.

'... enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?'

Sirius heard Dumbledore's voice clearly as he forced himself to walk to number four instead of break out into a dead run.

''Yes – yes, you're right, of course,' McGonagall conceded, her voice exhausted. 'But how -'

'I don't,' Sirius spoke, making sure Dumbledore would hear his words plainly. 'I don't see how sending Harry away to these wretched people is having him better off.'

'Sirius,' Dumbledore sighed, resigned. 'I should have known you would be here.'

'You can bet your toadstool I'd be here!' Sirius hissed as he came to a stop by Dumbledore and McGonagall. 'James and Lily are barely gone and your handing off their son to people they despised? Who despised them? They didn't even come to James and Lily's wedding! They haven't even acknowledged the fact that Harry was ever born! No. I will not allow my godson to be shunted off to those wretches.'

'Sirius, you're only twenty-two. You can't take care of a baby.'

'James and Lily were both younger then I am! They chose me. They said that, if anything were to happy to them, I was the one who was to take care of Harry. Me. Not Petunia and whatever his name is.'

'Sirius, this is best for Harry.'

'No. No, absolutely not,' Sirius spat, taking a step towards Dumbledore. 'You don't get to decide that. James and Lily decided that over a year ago - before Harry was even born. You don't get to change that decision. You don't get to take over Harry's life just because James and Lily are d-dead.'

Sirius faltered over the last word, stuttering as he forced it from his throat. He heard the motorbike before he saw it, before even Dumbledore or McGonagall heard it and looked up to the sky to watch for Hagrid.

'Where is Harry, Sirius?'

'Hagrid has him. I let Hagrid hold Harry and he refused to return him to me,' Sirius shot a glance at Dumbledore whose face was placid and remorseless. 'He said Dumbledore told him to bring Harry here.'

'You think it – wise – to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?' McGonagall asked, turning to Dumbledore in disbelief.

'I would trust Hagrid with my life,' said Dumbledore calmly.

'I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place,' McGonagall entreated exasperatedly, 'but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to – what was that?'

Then Sirius saw it, as McGonagall and Dumbledore both looked to the sky. With a roar like a lion, his motorbike thudded down on the road in front of them. Hagrid swung a leg over the motorbike and Sirius saw that Harry was in Hagrid's arms now rather than in the sidecar like he had been when the two left Godric's Hollow.

'Hagrid. At last,' Dumbledore let out a sigh.

'I've got him, sir.'

'No problems, were there?'

'No problems?' Sirius exploded. 'No problems? James and Lily are dead and you're attempting to pawn off their child to a couple of clueless, contemptible Muggles who don't want him, who will never care for him, who will treat him like vermin, and you think there are no problems?'

'The lad's right, Albus,' Moody said as he landed easily on his feet and stepped over the handle of his Cleansweep Five. There was another loud crack and Remus appeared a few metres to behind Hagrid, his face tear streaked and his clothing disheveled. 'The Muggles are no place for Harry Potter. We can't properly watch over him if we leave him here.'

'Harry has already lost his parents,' Remus said, his voice hoarse with sadness. 'He needs to grow up with people who love him.'

'This is the best place for him,' Dumbledore repeated firmly. 'He'll be able to grow up normally, live a normal life, and his aunt and uncle can explain everything to him when he's old enough to understand.'

'That's ridiculous,' Sirius spat. 'The best place for him is with me. That's where James and Lily would want him. And he won't have a 'normal' life living with them. It'll be horrid. He'll be like a dog they don't want.'

'It'll be better for him to grow up in the wizarding world, Albus,' Remus said, his voice quiet and timid. 'We can take care of him. Explain to him as he grows up. And then he'll understand when he comes to Hogwarts. He won't be thrust into a place he doesn't feel he belongs. He has to know. He has a right to know. Harry has a right to grow up where he'll be loved. It's what Lily and James would want.'

'Don't be a stubborn fool, Albus,' Moody said gruffly, wanting the conversation over with. 'We're out in the open like a bunch of squat bananas waiting for angry Death Eaters to come pick us off. Let's get this over with. Hagrid, give Harry to Sirius. Sirius, you take Harry. He's yours to take care of now. Are you ready for that?'

'Yes,' Sirius said, refusing to look at Dumbledore as Hagrid reluctantly placed a sleeping Harry into Sirius' arms.

'Stay at Headquarters until we can set up a proper flat for you both. Your flat's too obvious a choice for Death Eaters right now.'

'We can use my cottage for now,' Remus suggested, looking tentatively to Sirius. 'It's under the Fidelius Charm. And, while it would be regretful to say that means my secret is completely safe in light of Peter's betrayal, I doubt my secret keeper has betrayed me.'

'I most certainly have not!' McGonagall told him shrilly, appalled and affronted at the suggestion and Remus gave her a sad smile to show that he had been joking. McGonagall gave him one of her rare, quick smiles and shook her head.

'Good. The two of you go back to Remus' and we'll come check in later.'

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, regret in both their expressions, before turning to Moody and nodding.

I'm going to track down Peter,' Moody spat. 'I'll call the Advanced Guard. Albus, would you help?'

'Of course,' Dumbledore sighed, looking away from Sirius and Harry with a resigned and disappointed expression. 'Professor McGonagall, care to join us?'

'It would be my pleasure,' McGonagall said furiously, her voice dripping with venom for the traitor. With a final word to the rest of their party, McGonagall, Moody and Dumbledore all disapparated, leaving Sirius, Remus and Hagrid alone with Harry.

'Let's take the bike to the cottage,' Sirius suggested and Remus agreed without giving it much thought.

'Can I say goodbye to 'im?' Hagrid asked and Sirius held him out for Hagrid the bend his large head down and kiss the top of Harry's forehead. 'At least - hic - at least he's not going to the Muggles. Y-you're right, Sirius. He should be with you.'

With that, Hagrid left as well and Remus settled into the sidecar of the motorbike and waiting for Sirius to hand Harry to him. The ride seemed longer than it actually was, but before Sirius knew it, the motorbike was within the protection of the Fidelius Charm. Harry was still asleep as Sirius and Remus headed up the stairs to the guest room, which was to be Sirius' room. Remus summoned Harry's cot out of the bag and enlarged it again so that it was it's proper size. He set the cot in the corner and Sirius carefully returned Harry to the bed in which he'd found him just a few hours ago.

Backing away without ever taking his eyes off the sleeping child, Sirius sat down on the bed, his hands braced on his knees. The bed shifted as Remus sat next to him.

'Forgive me?' Sirius asked, still watching Harry's chest moving up and down beneath the blanket. He could feel the tears welling, but didn't bother to wipe them away. 'For thinking you were the traitor.'

'If you'll forgive me for thinking the same of you,' Remus replied, putting a hand comfortably on his friend's knee.

'You'll help me? Raise Harry, I mean. Raise him together? James and Lily would want that.'

'In what world would I let you raise him by yourself?' Remus smiled, his eyes full of unshed tears. 'One condition, though.'

'What's that?' Sirius asked, finally turning to look at Remus.

'I get to tell Harry the story of the time Lily transfigured you into a tortoise.'


A/N:

I'm sorry, but I just cannot, under any circumstances, believe that Sirius would just willingly give up Harry to the Dursley's. I just cannot believe it. And I can't remember how this idea popped into my head, because I literally started writing this back on 7 October, according to Pages, but I thought it was longer ago then that. Huh. Oh well. Anyways! I finally finished it. Idk. It's 1:30 here and I'm tired. And kind of hungry. So I'm gonna go now. BYE!

Oh, wait - thanks for reading! I hope you liked it and, please, tell me what you think - good or bad!

Love, Thal