Split Hairs

Chapter 1 The Odd Emperor

By: Major144

Disclaimer I do not own Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. This is a story just for fun.

Czar Baldy Bald IV sat in his throne his wife the alien Mako-chan stood next to him with her tail sticking into his head and sucking on. A bunch of Hair Hunters stood at attention in the room on either side of his throne. His assistant Octopus Carol came into the throne room.

"What is it?" Asked Baldy Bald.

"My lord Emperor Split as just arrived!" Said Octopus Carol.

That got Baldy Bald's attention, he quickly yanked Mako-chan's tail out of his head.

"Quickly let him in!" He ordered.

"Yes my lord!" Said Octopus Carol as he scuttled away on his tentacles.

"Soldiers take your position!" Order Baldy Bald.

The soldiers quickly raised some welcome banners on either side of the room. The right side had blue banners and the left side had red banners. Octopus Carol came back in.

"Presenting The Lord of Randomtopia Emperor Split!" He shouted as the doors behind him opened.

A couple of soldiers started tossing out rose petals. The ones on the right tossed out white rose petals, while the ones on the left tossed out red rose petals. In strolled Emperor Splits. He was an odd sight to see both the right half and the left half of his body were completely opposite. The skin of his right side was completely white, while his left side had a dark tan. His right shoe was white, while his left shoe was black. The same with his pants and shirt he wore. Splits whore body armor similar Halekulani of the Big Four. The only difference was that the right side of the armor was silver, while the left side was gold. Split's right eye was blue, while his left eye was red. The right side of his hair was a mixture of white, blond, and blue. The left side of his hair was a mixture of black, silver, and red. Split wire a crown that was half silver and half gold.

As Split got closer Baldy Bald stood up from his throne and kneeled before Split.

"Thank you for coming oh might Emperor Split!" Said Baldy Bald.

"You may stand up." Said Split with a commanding voice.

Baldy Bald got back up.

"I've heard you have having trouble with some rebels and according to you they might be worth my time destroying." Said Split.

"Yes they are indeed powerful." Said Baldy Bald as he pulled out a remote and pushed a button.

A giant flat screen TV appeared in the air showing images of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, and friends Beauty, Don Patch, Gasser, Jelly Jiggler, Softon, Dengakuman, Hatenko, and Torpedo Girl.

"These are the rebels. They are lead by the man with the blond afro. His name is Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. He is from the hair kingdom and he a master of Fist of the Nose Hair. He and his group have defeated several of by best warriors and the Hair Hunters from a hundred years ago. His also has defeated his older evil older brother and his empire." Said Baldy Bald as he pressed another button on the remote.

The TV then displayed a series of images of Bobobo and his gang defeating various villains.

"Yes they do seem like interesting opponents. Very well I shall destroy these rebels for you." Said Split.

"Is it ok that you give use a demonstration first? Were all fans of your work." Said Baldy Bald.

Split smiled.

"Why of course, I'm always happy to please the fans. Do you have three people I can demonstrate on?" He asked.

Baldy Bald snapped his fingers and summoned the guards to bring something into the room. They disappeared and came back with three tied up figures. They were The Three Civilizations! First there was the Mesopotamia Civilization, he was a tentacled-horned nose creature. Second was the Indus Civilization, he was a firecracker dressed in ancient Japanese garb. The last one was Yellow River, he was a man with long black hair dressed in ninja gear.

"You may demonstrate your powers on these three." Said Baldy Bald.

"May I asked what they are being punished for?" Asked Split.

"They were put in charge of developing a new security system for all the Hair Hunt bases. Their security system backfired and kicked the soldiers out of the bases and made the bases self destruct!" Said Baldy Bald glaring at the Three Civilizations.

"How was I supposed to know that giving a security system the thought process of a coffee machine and a bomb would make it go caffeine crazy and blow up!" Complained Mesopotamia Civilization.

"Enough!" Ordered Baldy Bald.

Split formed a ball of energy in his hands and formed a sword. The sword had a straight side and a curvy side.

"Super Fist of Splits Chopped Halves!" He said as he sliced Mesopotamia and Indus in half with the straight side of the sword.

Both Mesopotamia and Indus eyes popped out and they screamed! However no blood came out of the two halves of either of them. Splits waved his hands and the right side of Mesopotamia and the left side of Indus fused together. He did the same to Mesopotamia's left side and the right side of Indus fused together. The two new beings looked at their bodies in shock and screamed! They tried to run away but each tripped on their uneven amount of legs. Split turned towards Yellow River.

"Super Fist of Splits Spilt Personality Aspect!" He shouted as he hit Yellow River with the curvy side of the sword.

At first nothing happened then a ball of energy shot out of Yellow River's chest and transformed into another Yellow River wearing an apron and holding a plate of fresh baked cookies.

"Who wants oatmeal cookies!" Said the new Yellow River cheerfully.

"WHAT ARE YOU?!" Screamed Yellow River in shock and fear.

"That is a aspect of your personality. It appears it wants to be a cook." Said Split.

Yellow River just starred in shock as the aspect of his personality handed out cookies to the guards. Baldly Bald clapped.

"That was quite a demonstration. Well done Bobobo and his group will be no match for you!" Declared Baldy Bald.

"Thank you for the praise I'll be on my way as soon as I fix this." Said Split as he snapped his fingers.

The Three Civilizations started glowing and in a flash of light Mesopotamia and Indus were back to normal and the personality aspect of Yellow River disappeared. All Three Civilizations were in the fetal position sucking their thumbs. Split laughed a left the throne room. Baldy Bald looked at the TV screen and grinned wickedly at the image of Bobobo.

"Soon you will no longer be a hairy thorn in my side and the Chrome Dome empire will rule the world!" He laughed wickedly.

To be continued.