Ch 7 Barnyard Horse Play

DIONYSUS P.O.V

The three brats, as irritating as they were, were less annoying than the accumulative annoyance of the 270 imps at the camp of punishment, while they seemed to treat Olympus as a holiday and the Gods as friends they at least seemed to remember that we were Deities and that they were honoured by our continued attention, even if they could do with showing a bit more awe and devotion. As Poseidon and Athena settled their glaring, I heaved a sigh and drawled,

"Since the kids at camp I suppose its my turn to read. I don't suppose I get any wine for this?"

The air became still with static – Percival, Nino and Malia shuddered - well I suppose that answers that question, it was almost 60 years ago you'd think Father would have gotten over it, one nymph surely isn't worth this much abstinence, even Hera stopped giving father the cold shoulder for that incident decades ago, now she has tree girl to torment him for.

"I suppose not then, I'll get to reading then, shall I?"

"I Play Pinochle With a Horse,"

I suppose Chiron is still holding the twerps hands through every little thing that goes even vaguely wrong, they need to toughen up and quickly the mule can't keep his foals safe in his little demigod herd forever better to learn quickly than in the field.

I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.

I rolled my eyes as the young stallion blushed at his cousins smirks – God's I could use a drink – it's just not the same when you borrow another's drunken experience.

I must've woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered popcorn, only it was pudding.

NO P.O.V

"Ambrosia." Apollo muttered

The girl with curly blond hair hovered over me, smirking as she scraped drips off my chin with the spoon.

"Aww, did you drool Kelp head?" Thalia taunted, "Annabeth's going to have to get used to that, I suppose" she smirked alongside Hermes and Apollo as Poseidon smiled softly and Athena glared murderously

When she saw my eyes open, she asked, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"

"Summer Solstice? I suppose that's the deadline for the return of my Bolt boy" Zeus scowled to Percy's unease

"Yes, I don't think there's anything else about it for a while though, no-one told me anything until after my 1st capture the flag"

I managed to croak, "What?"

She looked around, as if afraid someone would over hear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I don't..."

Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with pudding.

Nico snorted "well that's one way to shut you up"

The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.

"Missing her already, are you?" Hermes teased turning Percy Sacred Cow red

A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He had blue eyes- at least a dozen of them- on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.

Hera lit up at the mention of her many eyed disciple

When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surroundings, except that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a deck chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries. There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.

Poseidon and the demigods cringed in sympathy

On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.

My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it.

"Does this kind of injury happen to Percy often?" Poseidon asked the teens, voice deep in worry, the sheepish silence, the way the kids shuffled closer together and determined focus on the Dionysus holding book rather blatantly answered that question. The Sea god sighed and focused on the connection between them-self and their son to see if anything had left a lingering impression on his son that needed soothing.

"Careful," a familiar voice said.

Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn't slept in a week.

Under one arm, he cradled a shoe box. He was wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Just plain old Grover, Not the goat boy.

"Denial!" Apollo crowed

"First you spend months in denial, then again" Hermes huffed, amused "you've a real talent kiddo"

"You better not have the same response Nico" Hades scowled, causing Nico to glare and slouch into himself

"Hey!" Poseidon cut in, "maybe if everyone stopped using the Mist on my son, lying to him and actually talked to him the situation would have been different!"

So maybe I'd had a nightmare. Maybe my mom was okay. We were still on vacation, and we'd stopped here at this big house for some reason. And...

"I'm sorry, Percy" Poseidon murmured

"You saved my life," Grover said. "I... well, the least I could do ... I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."

Reverently, he placed the shoe box in my lap.

Inside was a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood. It hadn't been a nightmare.

"The Minotaur," I said.

"Urn, Percy, it isn't a good idea-"

"That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" I demanded. "The Minotaur. Half man, half bull."

Grover shifted uncomfortably. "You've been out for two days. How much do you remember?"

"My mom. Is she really ..."

He looked down.

I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight.

"What's that supposed to mean!" Zeus growled, the slight on his daughter angering him

Looking like a seal in the headlights Percy stuttered, "I just…I meant that… I felt that… with my Moms supposed death that beauty shouldn't exist along-side my grief" hopefully that wouldn't offend anyone

"oh, that so sweet!" Aphrodite squealed

"Finally, a hero understands." Hera exclaimed

Dionysus quickly continued reading, wary of his father's whims – he didn't want to bejewel the damned daughter tree like the last time a demigod insulted the 'green shade of the needles', the thing attracted all sorts or hoarding monsters none of the brats could leave.

My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing should look beautiful.

"I'm sorry," Grover sniffled. "I'm a failure. I'm- I'm the worst satyr in the world."

He moaned, stomping his foot so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top came off. The inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.

"Oh, Styx!" he mumbled.

Thunder rolled across the clear sky.

As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that settles it. Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I'd find tiny horns on his head.

"He'd hate you for it – Baldness has never been in a satyr's fashion, they like wild and curly hair." Hermes cheerfully interrupted

But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or even minotaurs. All that meant was my mom really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.

I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with ... Smelly Gabe?

No. That would never happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen and join the army. I'd do something.

"If you ever leave camp you could live in the oceans there are few places you wouldn't be welcomed; under Oceanus's or another sea gods influence and such. However, my demigods are part of the land so tend to like at least one foot on the surface so you're more likely to want to rove around the world before you settle anywhere which is also something I could help you with if you didn't mind quests" Poseidon asserted to Percy's pleasure and his cousins jealous worry

Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid- poor goat, satyr, whatever- looked as if he expected to be hit.

"He deserves it, keeps messing up" Zeus growled

"To be fair he had Deities working against him and he is the one who found all of us" Thalia countered

"And Titans." Nico added quietly

I said, "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you."

"How do the Satyrs train? I mean beside Pan Pipes magic" Percy asked, "they seem more like guides and informants to me, Hedge is the only one I've really seen fight in a normal scenario"

"The cloven council doesn't seem very much like retired protectors either" Nico added

"The satyrs main act tends towards hiding the demigods and distract the monster until the kiddos are able to escape, he also teaches them to trust their instincts, guide them to safe spots and finds suitable weapons for them to use" Dionysus stated bored

"Did my mother ask you to protect me?"

"No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least... I was."

"But why ..." I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming.

"Don't strain yourself," Grover said. "Here."

"Thinking too hard, Hammerhead?" Thalia snickered

He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to my lips.

I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies.

And not just any cookies- my mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but I felt as if my mom had just brushed her hand against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to be okay.

Hera smiled, proud of the woman under her domain

Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.

"Was it good?" Grover asked.

I nodded.

"What did it taste like?" He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.

"Sorry," I said. "I should've let you taste."

His eyes got wide. "No! That's not what I meant. I just... wondered."

"Chocolate-chip cookies," I said. "My mom's. Home made."

He sighed. "And how do you feel?"

"Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards."

"That's good," he said. "That's good. I don't think you could risk drinking any more of that stuff"

"What do you mean?"

He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting."

"Great! With the way the kids going he's going to say something amusing about our drunkard little brother" Hermes laughed, Ares smirked cruelly hoping fish boy said something to incite a fight

The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse.

My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the Minotaur horn, but I held on to it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn't going to let it go.

As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath.

We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing.

The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake.

Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.

"You should know you sleep with those horses sometimes" Thalia exclaimed

Apollo blinked "why would you do that?"

Percy blushed and said "Sometimes the Horses, Hippocampi or sea creatures ask for my help and I'm either too tired to bother leaving the herd or I might just decide that id like to curl up with the horses or whichever, besides they like cuddles. It also makes them less likely to try and give me thank you presents. Which while nice, I don't really know what to do with straw, seaweed or grass plumes, kelp, half eaten fish or flesh if they're carnivores, the only thing I really tend to have use for is the oats I could make loads of porridge." Percy explained sheepishly

Poseidon smiled glad that his son was actively taking an interest in caring for his realm

Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoon-fed me popcorn-flavoured pudding was leaning on the porch rail next to them.

Athena huffed 'why was her daughter insisting on hanging around the Seahorses brood

The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby angels- what do you call them, hubbubs? No, cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park.

As he read Dionysus glowed purple In anger causing the vulnerable demigods to laugh semi-hysterically with a glimmer of insanity alongside some of his brothers mellower laughter before Hades shrouded him in fear causing him to forcefully reign in his aura in fear of retaliation.

He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt, and he would've fit right in at one of Gabe's poker parties, except I got the feeling this guy could've out-gambled even my step father.

"That's certainly right" Dionysus growled

"That's Mr. D," Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron..."

He pointed at the guy whose back was to me.

First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.

"Mr. Brunner!" I cried.

The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers B.

"how would the children learn if they know the pattern" Athena exclaimed appalled

"I think that's ingenious, its like the Spanish Inquisition, no one ever expects it and they'd think they'd miss-answered as the see the results" Hermes approved

"Ah, good, Percy," he said. "Now we have four for pinochle."

"Does anyone actually still play that game," Apollo murmured to Hermes

He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and heaved a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to be glad to see you."

"Uh, thanks." I scooted a little farther away from him because, if there was one thing I had learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult has been hitting the happy juice.

Poseidon growled, wishing Sally would see sense and let him dispose of Gabriel

If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr.

"Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.

She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. "This young lady nursed you back to health, Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now."

Hermes huffed, "I wish everyone would claim their kids, I mean sure I'll offer them hospitality but there's plenty of room in the big house while my kids are packed like sardines"

Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron."

She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole lot more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were startling grey, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analysing the best way to take me down in a fight.

Athena smiled, delighted.

She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that.

"Such a high opinion of yourself." Artemis stated imperiously nodding alongside Athena

"Oh, lay off him sis." Apollo rolled his eyes, "he's impressed with himself because he killed something that to him the day before was mythical he hasn't yet realised that it isn't just real for him but others as well"

Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."

Ares, Hermes and Apollo snorted

Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.

"So," I said, anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"

"Not Mr. Brunner," the ex-Mr. Brunner said. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron."

"Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D ... does that stand for something?"

Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason."

"Something you still don't get" Nico teased

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"I must say, Percy," Chiron-Brunner broke in, "I'm glad to see you alive. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."

"That's a casual way to say to say your worth less than his time." Hermes shook his head smiling

"He really has no tact" Apollo laughed

"House call?"

"My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to ... ah, take a leave of absence."

"I wonder what he did to him." Demeter said

"Might have killed him," Ares shrugged. "Could have been replaced by a monster"

"Or," Hestia chided "he used the Mist to arrange another job for the man"

I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long ago, but I did have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first week at Yancy. Then, without explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had taken the class.

"You came to Yancy just to teach me?" I asked.

Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first.

"Tact, Chiron, tact, you're thousands of years old! Surely you've heard of it" Apollo laughed

We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."

"Grover," Mr. D said impatiently, "are you playing or not?"

"Yes, sir!" Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.

Hephaestus grunted "Better stop paying attention to your eyes and listen to your instincts, otherwise you'd be incinerated soon"

"You do know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyed me suspiciously.

"I'm afraid not," I said.

"I'm afraid not, sir," he said.

"Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.

Poseidon huffed a grudging laugh, seconds into an interaction and already he's biting at the bit to escape authority. He'll have to make sure his son has a long leash to do things his own way if he sends him on a quest, he clearly doesn't take well to being controlled even peripherally.

"Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules."

"I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron said.

"Please," I said, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun…Chiron why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"

Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question."

The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in his pile.

"What are you doing with those Satyrs, Dionysus? He seems positively terrified" Demeter exclaimed

"Not my fault. The runt keeps having problems and getting into trouble, back in the old days I'd probably have already killed him, never mind whatever he's going to get up to by the time the sea brat reaches camp" he replied grouchy

Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected me to have the right answer.

"Percy," he said. "Did your mother tell you nothing?'

"She said ..." I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her."

"Selfish" Ares muttered, "but admirable, she fought for what she wanted, but not smartly she should let Uncle assist quietly instead of being too proud. If she wanted the brat around, it would make more sense to move somewhere Poseidon can immediately and conspicuously intervene in case of his brats discovery a beach would be best but a horse ranch would be functional. Poseidon wouldn't even have to pay attention to her location to keep an eye on the kid, so a smaller scent as the kid won't react to his sires presence and less chance of Uncle being the reason for discovery as his messengers could inform him indirectly and we won't notice his attention being drawn to the same people as often. She's lucky the bolt is missing, while it puts a spotlight on the brat it also makes him valuable to keep alive." He analysed

The demigods instinctively went to argue but a look at Poseidon's contemplative frown made them shift awkwardly, uncomfortable. The argument made sense from that perspective, Percy's dad wasn't contesting it and really, they didn't know how gods could find people beyond that hiding was more not drawing any attention than actually being hidden. Like a metaphysical 'where's wally' he's harder to spot if he isn't glowing in the dark, with arrows pointed in his general direction, in the middle of a group of people in black, the red rather stands out. Still it wasn't right to judge, maybe Sally for all her clear sightedness never comprehended just what a God and demigod was, still thinking on human terms for the most part, which was an occurring problem for Percy as he had periods of time he could pretend he wasn't a demigod. Mortal thinking makes you unprepared for the real world.

"Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"

"What?" I asked.

He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.

"I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient."

"Orientation film?" I asked.

"You know suddenly so much makes sense." Nico exclaimed, "you've never seen the film"

"No wonder you seem so stupid sometimes" Thalia stated in awe as if a great mystery was solved

"Was it really that informative?" Percy asked, "it can't be that good! its less than 15 minutes long."

"Your forgetting though, it was made by Gods, Percy!" Thalia cried "it shows you the basics yeah, but Artemis has one for her Hunters and she said Hecate and Hypnos worked on it so the magic sinks into your sub-conscious so you spend nights dreaming about some of the more important contextual stuff like where Mt. Olympus is now and the zones demigods stay away from or are drawn to. The one in camp had Hermes put some basic travelling stuff and what to do in travelling emergencies like your arrested or something in it. Ancient Greek, myths, monsters and Mist manipulation even the more popular fighting styles like knife, sword and wrestling become easier to learn because the blueprints in our mind are stimulated! It's like a cheat sheet or memory and learning enhancers and an encyclopaedia all in one. Are you telling me that you never saw it!"

Percy gulped, Poseidon tightened his hands on his thrown subtly looking frustrated 'clearly Percy was right, and no-one bothers to inform him of things'

"Ah, no. I guess it is that good then." He laughed awkwardly

"Of cause it is! I made it so the egglets find us rats if they expect us! Now we get at least 3 rats per group of demigods sacrificing to the Boss" Hissed George pleased, before being whacked on the head with his counter parts tail as Hermes winced and nonchalantly pretended nothing had been said

"No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know-" he pointed to the horn in the shoe box- "that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods- the forces you call the Greek gods- are very much alive."

I stared at the others around the table.

I waited for somebody to yell, Not! But all I got was Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points.

"Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?"

"Eh? Oh, all right."

Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.

"Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as god."

"Well, now," Chiron said. "God- capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."

"Metaphysical? But you were just talking about-"

"Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavours: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."

"Smaller?"

"Smaller" Zeus thundered dangerously triggering Hades and Poseidon to roll their eyes

"Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class."

"Why were you discussing Greek Gods in Latin class?" Thalia asked

"Probably the Mist" Poseidon responded, "it made it, so you didn't notice the irregularity. Did you actually learn Latin." He asked, curious.

"Oh yeah. Its not really something that comes up often, but I think I'm pretty fluent in it." Percy paused, "which is surprising considering how rarely I use it"

"It might be because of the Mist, something superficial due to Chiron making you think you know Latin or it might be that you were predisposed to Latin similar to Greek. I'll test you a little later see if we can answer that question. But if you've used it outside often enough you may be genuinely fluent." Poseidon replied

"Zeus," I said. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."

And there it was again, distant thunder on a cloud less day.

"Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around, if I were you."

"But they're stories," I said. "They're- myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."

"Science!" Mr. D scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"-I flinched when he said my real name, which I never told anybody-

Nico snorted, "There's only so many things your real name cold be Flounder, Percy isn't that common a nick name"

"what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals- they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."

I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as if... he wasn't.

"Oh, finally" Dionysus drawled, "Perpugillium finally catches on, Hazzah! it not like I ever bother to hide my presence completely"

It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut.

"Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"

I was about to answer, off the top of my head, that it sounded like a pretty good deal, but the tone of Chiron's voice made me hesitate.

"You mean, whether people believed in you or not," I said.

"Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that some day people would call you a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?"

Hestia winced, sympathetic to the demigod

"Ooh, harsh, Chiron" Apollo frowned

My heart pounded. He was trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. I said, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."

Poseidon frowns, he could see where this was going

"Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you."

Poseidon's intense stare was making Dionysus lean forward slightly prepared to move out of the way if the Ocean King decided to impale him

Grover said, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."

"A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe.'"

He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine.

"DIONYSUS!" everyone younger than Zeus jumped at the Sky Kings bellow the demigods instinctively went into a three-pronged stance protecting each-others back before they'd even registered what happened "if you dare try and test me to wriggle out of your punishment I will add another century for each infraction!" Zeus rumbled

My jaw dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up.

"Mr. D," he warned, "your restrictions."

Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise.

"Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!"

More thunder.

Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.

Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits."

"A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space.

"Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me.

"Of course I do, please do keep telling me your woes, I'll be sure to make them 10 times harder if I have to team up with Hades to do so!" Zeus simpered causing his godly children to freeze eerily still and wide eyed

The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time- well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay away- the second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha.' Absolutely unfair."

Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little kid.

Hephaestus chuckled quietly while screwing something into a small bracelet

"And ..." I stammered, "your father is ..."

"Di immortales, Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is Zeus, of course."

I ran through D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger. The satyrs that all seemed to work here. The way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master.

"You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."

Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, 'Well, duh!'?"

"Y-yes, Mr. D."

"Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"

Aphrodite gasped aghast and stared meaningfully at Ares who grinned in anticipation of his desired fight as Hephaestus carefully ignored them too focused on his present for his daughter

"You're a god."

"Yes, child."

"A god. You."

"Its ok kid, we sometimes struggle with it too" Apollo soothed, shrugging off Dionysus' glare

He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a strait-jacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.

The Demigods shuddered reminded that Mr D was the God of Insanity and as the they'd had most contact with wondered if Zeus really should have had Him placed with the camp full of valuable children

"Stop turning my children into insane dolphins, I'll admit Chrysoar rather had it coming but if you do so to Percy without a Very Good reason you'll find yourself regretting it" Poseidon threatened

"Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly.

"No. No, sir."

The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win."

"I wasn't serious. It was just a power play" Dionysus grumbled

"Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me."

I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He got up, and Grover rose, too.

"Played with him one too many times" Dionysus shrugged

"I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."

Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."

Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners."

He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.

"Will Grover be okay?" I asked Chiron.

Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been ... ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."

"Mount Olympus," I said. "You're telling me there really is a palace there?"

"Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do."

"I really don't know why you missed out on the induction film" Nico shrugged mystified

"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like ... in America?"

"Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West."

"The what?"

"Come now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know- or as I hope you know, since you passed my course- the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps- Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on- but the same forces, the same gods."

"And then they died."

"You really don't get the meaning of immortal, do you? Why would they just randomly die? if you concede they exist then that wouldn't just happen." Thalia teased an embarrassed Percy

"Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not- and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either- America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."

It was all too much, especially the fact that I seemed to be included in Chiron's we, as if I were part of some club.

"Who are you, Chiron? Who ... who am I?"

"Woah, asking the Big Questions there aren't you?" Hermes teasingly said laughing

Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight as if he were going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down.

"Is he? Is he really" Apollo laughed

"Who are you?" he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to 'meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be smores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate.".

And then he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear,

The demigods and the more juvenile males snorted, Hephaestus just appreciated his technology still being in use in the future uncaring of the others amusement

but as he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur.

And the wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him.

A leg came out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof.

Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.

I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.

"What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."

"And that's the end of that chapter!" Dionysus cheerfully stated, glad that the ordeal was over

Sadly, I think it is unlikely I'll be writing more as I feel like I can't get into character now that my interest in these type of fanfictions has tapered of maybe at some point in the future more will be written but I'm uncertain about it.

That being said, below is a small un-polished segment of what I wanted to use in ch 9 – just because I'm not writing it anymore doesn't mean it shouldn't be shared

OMAKE- SNEAK PEAK – I GET A QUEST – NOTES

Q38 Poseidon and a few other gods caught Zeus in a net –

Pos- got banished from Olympus for ten years for that, sentenced to build city of Troy

Apol- Despite the hard work I enjoyed working with you uncle

Pos- thanks you too and it was your sacred city

Apol- hey why was it only us who got banished Hep helped us he made the net, Hermes handed out leaflets and Hera had the idea to teach him a lesson and everyone else laughed

Pos- *snort* that's because I came up with the idea of the net (he is a fisher man after all) and was the one who was brave enough to try convince him and you were giving up a sales pitch and making money from it

Apol- *points* Hermes made money from it as well

Pos- *rolls eyes* he had more subtlety that's why

Apol- *nods* we should do it again sometime

Demigods n&p- i'll help (&) sounds like fun

Zeus- no you shall not unless you want a further punishment

Had – it'll help you learn some humility, that'll be good for everyone, less headaches

Demeter-I miss the old Hera the one who was tricked into marrying Zeus

Pos- *hmm* who'd want to marry him? He ate Metis his first wife (Zeus to metis the Titaness "you can be many beautiful large creatures what about a small fly" she turned into one then he ate her Hera wouldn't marry him so he turned into a cookoo she said shell love the cookoo forever then he changed and said that she had to marry him as he loved her too then later he pretended to be marrying someone else while she hated him for cheating on her and in a jealous rage she stormed in and he married her) and that created the 'almighty wise one' over there, that being said I enjoyed splitting your head with an axe we should do it again sometime…

Zues - don't you dare

Pos - … besides metis was a less strict queen than Hera here

Hera- can we stop discussing that and continue reading