Hi! I hope you enjoy this fic! :) Earlier this year I had been working on one focusing on Lelouch and the gang when they were children. I worked on it in my spare time, but then had to put it aside for a couple months because I got too busy. .

Then, this whole new door opened with Julius. I just had to write a fic for it! (Hahaha!)

I am a few chapters ahead and I think, at this point, I am about halfway through now because I don't plan on making it too long. We'll see. I have a tendency to talk at length when I write.

Must work on that...

Okay, I just want to say a quick "thank you" to touchreceptors and Eggy at geassactivate on tumblr for translations and photos of the new Akito movie since I have pulled part of that into this fic.
I hope I have done well- and I hope you enjoy!

Rated M for future chapters.

The rhythmic clacking of the train wheels along the track became soothing. It was enough to lull a person to sleep. The railways had been improved over the years. Upgrades were continually made. It cost a fortune. Regardless, the effort paid off in terms of a more smooth, more quiet ride. Even for all the times the railways underwent reconstruction, a bit of nostalgia remained. All familiar vibration and clacking of wheels against tracks had not been annihilated. A bit of the sound and feel remained.

Of course, not all felt nostalgia, were comforted, or even had the remotest feeling of being lulled. Not all enjoyed these times.

The ride had been a long one. No. The ride was a long one. Progressive. They were not close to their destination; it just came down to a matter of how long it would take from this point. They had already been on this train for more hours than Suzaku Kururugi cared to recall.

Perhaps he was restless. He was cooped up on a train that would be going full steam ahead for more than half a day. With all the improvements over the years, it was not like the old days when trains needed to stop every so often. Now, travelling more than half a day was common.

For Suzaku, who was always quite active, perhaps just walking around the train was not sufficient. Perhaps there was another reason. He was going because they had been assigned a mission. Another one. Perhaps his agitation stemmed from that.

There was still another reason that might be at the root. If Suzaku had to guess, he would point to this one as being the root, the tree, the branches, and the leaves.

The company he kept on this train. The one with whom he would be enacting the mission. The one with whom he had been assigned to carry out other missions. The one with whom he would have had to share a compartment with if they were required to be on the train for that length of time.

Yes. That could most certainly be the cause.

There was nothing Suzaku could do but endure it and try not to let his companion see his true feelings. He would not understand them and they were not something Suzaku could explain. Not so that his companion could truly understand. Then again, if things were different, Suzaku would not need to explain anything. His companion would know all too well his feelings.

Suzaku stared out the window along the clear hall of the train. Miles upon miles of nothing. There was a time, long ago, when Suzaku would have enjoyed standing here watching the countryside. Nature was in full bloom now. For most, it would be a rare treat to be able to cover so much land at this time of year. This year, unlike other years, nature seemed to be bursting with so much more vibrance and life.

All Suzaku could see was endless miles of nothing.

The sights before him were not pleasing to his eye. On the contrary. He hated them. They mocked him. They only served to remind him of that one special woman he lost. The wounds were still fresh upon his heart. She would have loved to see all of this. He would have loved to see these sights with her. She was lovely and vibrant, much like nature was right now.

More so than nature could ever be, yet she would not be able to see how much more lovely she was than all of these sights combined. That only made her that much more of a rare treasure.

Instead... he saw them "with"... another.

Suzaku bit his lip to keep from snarling. Rage began to well up inside him once again. Hatred began to consume him. However, he could hear footfalls approaching. He could not reveal these feelings to anyone.

Suzaku kept his face to the window until he was sure his expression was in line with his customary demenour.

"Lord Kururugi, we'll be arriving in St. Petersburg in 12 hours. How is the tactician?"

Suzaku turned to face the soldier, confident in his composure. "He's fine. He's just resting."

This train was a personal transport for royalty. Naturally, others were onboard. Soldiers and a small staff to keep the honoured person safe and to keep all running smoothly. Additionally, and most importantly, there was a personal guard a... knight almost. One special person to give protection and aid to the honoured person. Then, a temporary protection force was constructed around this one cornerstone.

In this instance, that special task set above all others fell to Suzaku...

...and he hated it. Still, he was here because it was his job. Although, as much as he hated it, loathed it, despised it... he would let no other take his place.

No.

He alone would see to the protection of the tactician... and, in doing so, he would see to it that the Emperor's plan... and his own... would not fail. Suzaku would let no other be as close to the tactician because Suzaku knew he would not fail, thus two merged plans of his and the Emperor's would be secure.

Granted, they might vary slightly, but the end result would be the same; and, after all, the end result is all that matters.

Suzaku did not used to think like that, Now, now he did. Someone showed him that way of thinking. No. That person forced him to travel this path.

Suzaku and the soldier conversed a few more moments before the soldier excused himself and returned to his duties.

Duties.

Suzaku thought of his own. He glanced at his watch.

Yes.

It was that time again.

Suzaku returned to the compartment the tactician sat, where he waited, where he spent much of his time while on this train. He rarely emerged from this large room, which was complete with a very large map mounted upon the wall across from where the tactician sat.

The automatic door slid open as Suzaku drew near. His eyes swept the compartment out of habit, though he already had a good idea of where he would find the tactician. At least it was where he should find the man at this time.

No-one was visible in the comfortable sized compartment. Even so, it did not concern Suzaku that the tactician was not where he should be, when he should be, doing what he should be at this time. Suzaku's eyes rested on the items on the table. Not a single word, such as "Excellent", even entered Suzaku's mind. Seeing this was merely what he expected to see and what he should see at this time. No words of satisfaction or of confirming all was proceeding as dictated came forth as though his very mind and soul had been injected with a numbing agent.

Suzaku could not see the man until he drew closer to the table by the window. The tactician with silky jet black hair and penetrating amethyst eyes was doing it again, right on time, just like a good boy, just like a conquered slave... just like a controlled demon.

The tactician sat in a cushioned seat lit by the glow of the sun, his black and gold cape carelessly draped over the back of the seat. On the table before the tactician lay a bottle, the remaining contents spilled onto the table. The liquid pooled near the mouth of the bottle. Even though liquid had been wasted, Suzaku could tell by the amount that enough had been consumed.

It was common for some of it to be wasted. More was given to the tactician for the very reason some of it would be wasted. This was the result of the effect of the tactician's "medicine". Being unable to continue to hold the bottle, the way it made him feel, the other effects- all of it was quite normal.

This "medicine"... Yes...

One of Suzaku's roles in staying so close to the tactician, one of the core reasons he would allow no other to take his place, was to make certain the medicine was taken timely every single day.

A feverishly shaking pale hand reached up toward Suzaku.

"Suzaku… Please… give me water… I'm begging you, water… water… water…"

Suzaku made a sound in line with his irritated mood. It was a bit reckless to do this simply because he might accidentally do it when the situation was normal. Right now, it did not matter. The dark haired teenager was in no frame of mind to process the sound he made.

Suzaku glared at the several month younger man in contempt. The request irritated him, though it was hardly unexpected. On the contrary. It was common; yet, Suzaku had not gotten used to it. He would not. Ever. The rage flaming within his heart would not permit as much.

Of course, there was, oddly enough, another reason this situation, which repeated itself over and over, rubbed him the wrong way. It was the sight of the one who currently had foggy amethyst eyes. The sight before him agitated him more than when the man was in his normal capacity.

The tactician sat slumped against the side of the chair, his shaking hand reaching up for the water for which he begged. He begged and begged for it, yet, despite the begging, there was a part of him that expected the beg to be met with the object of his begging.

Suzaku stared down at him, not making a move to indulge the request. The tactician cradled the side of his face near the window. His face might have been pressed against the armrest of the chair had it not been for his hand. This was yet another sight which was commonplace: cradling his face, trying to soothe the inner trembling and inexpressible odd sensations within his mind, his head- slowly spreading through his whole body, yet originating from his head.

Suzaku could not see his eye, as he could most times, but he did not have to look to know it was foggy and desperate. It always was at these times. Yes. It. One eye. The other was covered by a blue and black jewel-adorned eyepatch. The tactician never removed it in public... not without... purpose.

The tactician's whole body quivered. The amethyst jewel dangling from the eyepatch trembled from the involuntary movement. At these times, the tactician's body always shook, his movements were always awkward.

Suzaku glared at the tactician.

Lelouch...

Suzaku clenched his teeth as he glared at the black haired boy he had once called "friend", the one he had fought as a child, the one with whom a seemingly unbreakable bond had been forged through those fights... and the other things which occurred that special summer. Suzaku glared at the one who had saved him, both socially by asking Milly Ashford to let him join the student council and physically after he had been arrested for Prince Clovis' murder... The murder which forever stained Lelouch's hands with blood, the murder by which he lost his blood innocence.

Suzaku glared down at the one he wanted nothing more than to murder with his own two hands because he was the one who robbed Euphemia of her life. Lelouch's half sister.

Suzaku could claim it was justice all he wanted. Lelouch had taken an innocent life, therefore he deserved death. It was that simple. If Suzaku were to kill him, it would be justice. It would also be justice, more so, if the Emperor were to issue the order. The death sentence would then be coming from the highest authority in all the land.

Suzaku would simply be obeying the order. The order he longed to carry out.

That was the very point Suzaku would not dwell upon.

His blood lust.

He cared not that he wanted Lelouch to pay- justice or not. He cared not that his motives were not entirely pure in his quest to bring Lelouch to justice. He could use all the right words in his head, he could spout words of justice all he wanted. Yet, in his heart he knew he just wanted revenge. Yes, there was a part of him that truly desired justice.

However, at this point in time, it was severely overshadowed by his yearning for revenge, for Lelouch's blood to be upon his own hands, for Lelouch to pay for his crime with his very life.

Lelouch would not be able to atone for his crime by forfeiting his life... but at least he would pay.

As Suzaku glared down at the boy with whom he had once forged a deep friendship out of trial and hardship, he did not have to wonder how he got into the repulsive task of guarding the very life he wanted nothing more than to take. He knew exactly how it happened. More than that, he remembered every detail of how this situation came to be reality. Rather, he could not forget.

What do you think of the first chapter? Please let me know! I want all your thoughts- good or bad! Please review!

...Let me know you are there...

^u^