Disclaimer: I do not own PJO or HoO

Author's Note: Lightly edited on 3/27/2014

The monsters... they were, they were, oh gods, they knew. He cold deal with every cut, burn, scrape, and hair pull if they would just stop screaming. They told him over and over about who he was, like he needed to be reminded. Then the monsters turned into people, and he was too tired and angry and depressed to care if it was an illusion. Soon he heard to taunting coming from people he loved. Bianca, Hazel, and, was that his mom? He also heard voices of people he never met. They were all male voices, which hurt just as much, because he could never be like them. Then there was Annabeth and... no, please don't... not, not him. Why him? With the last of his strength, he sheathed his sword and covered his ears, hoping the physical pain would kill him already. He realized the emotional pain was too much to bear, as he fell to his knees and cried one last time.

When Nico woke up, it upset him that he wasn't dead, but in a bronze jar. Though he was happy he could suffocate himself, he decided against it because there was a slight chance Hazel might care about him, and he didn't want to hurt her. So Nico instinctively took out his pomegranate seeds, eating one in the process. Going into a death trance, he was relieved for the silence, which even stayed for his dreams, except for one. And he just had to be the only person there, telling him he was going to be okay. Yeah, right. As far as his own concern, Nico would never be okay.

The fight with the giants was a big blur, and it's probably because he's nearly dead. Is the two of them falling a blur? Of course not, it's bright and clear, even with the shadow of the large ship that came and the fact they were practically under a parking lot. Nico made a promise before they let themselves go: to help lead the rest of the crew to Epirus. To be honest, he couldn't care less about the rest of the crew (besides Hazel). Nico still planned to keep his promise, since he knows how broken promises feel, though somewhere in him he knows it is only because of who asked.

While on the ship, Hazel fusses over Nico at first, until he accidently yells at her, and he felt terrible. Frank was glaring, Hazel looked shocked, and everyone else stared. He probably had a blank expression because he forgot how to display emotion voluntarily a long time ago. If the crew thought he was a creepy freak before, now they thought he was a rude creepy freak. Not that he was going to deny it.

He recognizes the unknown voices from Tartarus. The first one was the Valdez kid, who seemed like an angry Latino Santa's elf. Leo's voice had sounded forced in the pit, like he was just under pressure. The other two voices he had heard before, and just didn't know it was them, though that was understandable considering their voices were deeper and Nico was dying at the time. The second and third voices were Frank and Jason. Jason's was the most vicious for some reason.

Frank found out about part of Nico's past from some of his time from Italy. He found out that Frank used to play Mythomagic. He doubted that he had burned his cards. It turns out some giants did in the process of torching his house, however.

Nico thought about Jason's cruel, disembodied voice from the near past when they went to get Diocletian's spear. He had saw his moments of weakness at the mention of Cupid, when his knees shook and the grass withered beneath him. His urgency to change the subject. Nico wouldn't admit that he was frightened, but he was, with having to tell his secret to Cupid, and therefore Jason also. Surprisingly, Jason took it well. That was not going to make Nico come out to anyone else.

Nico saw Leo's heartbroken look after they find him sitting around drinking coffee. He didn't ask about it, since nobody else noticed the look except for Jason, and Jason didn't even know any information on Calypso, and it would've been embarrassing for Leo if everyone started questioning him. Nico overheard the conversation between Leo and Jason later that day. It was one-sided, with Leo avoiding answering any questions.

Nico had his own conversation with Jason at one point, and he said in a low whisper how after he fulfilled his promise, he would be leaving. Forever. That was when Nico realized how much he hated the world, hated himself, hated life, and maybe that part was his father's fault with being god of the dead and all, but it much more likely had to do with the fact he felt dead inside. Nico had been feeling dead for a while.

He felt the most alive drinking the poison. That wasn't a good sign, and he didn't care. They made their way through the House of Hades, and all Nico remembered was Frank being elected praetor. And then they found the two who were stuck in Tartarus. And then Reyna showed up. And then he left to help her and the coach bring the Athena Parthenos (since he wasn't a child of the prophecy) to the camp he was sent to so long ago.

A cold praetor, an introvert, and a baseball-happy satyr take some time to cooperate. Somehow, they didn't die immediately after the first jump, with Nico passed out and Coach Hedge yelling, forcing Reyna to fend off the monsters by herself. Nico respected her, from her skill to her courage to the fact she knew how it felt to see someone you love with someone else. Respect was all he had though, all he could have, since he could never love her like that. She wasn't sisterly or motherly, either. She was, however, more of a friend than he ever had since... well, him.

On a particularly slow day, Nico had unknowingly started to braid Reyna's hair. She pretended like she didn't notice, until she eventually let curiosity take a hold of her when she asked where he learned to braid, and why he was braiding her hair. Nico hesitated, just to tell her that his sister had taught him, and that he didn't realize what he was doing. He knew that Reyna thought he was talking about Hazel. He was okay with that.

Upon reaching Camp Half-Blood, the three saw that the two camps were prepared for battle. Through a lot of persuading and hostage of weapons, they were able to convince the camps not to destroy each other. That didn't stop a battle. A few giants came, and luckily, the camps were successful. No one saw Nico himself in battle (only his dead warriors) besides Reyna, who saw him raise the army and throw random daggers towards the giants' weak spots.

The battle in Greece was mainly a success, according to a certain green-eyed boy. Most of the seven were injured, and one was gone. Nico knew, he saw her getting judged once again. "Well, déjà vu, much?" he remembered that certain boy said, "I feel like I'm 14, and you're 10, and I'm telling you your sister is dead. Except I'm 17, and you're 14 now, and it's Hazel this time. I'm sorry." Nico had simply backed away, as he thought about how he was only 14, and he had fought in two wars, lived through three, and that he was technically 84, and that he had no more mortal family.

The next year, Nico was 15, or at least he thought he was, since he didn't remember his birthday. He would usually hang out with Leo, who was cocky and just plain annoying, except when he was with Nico, in which he was solemn and building something silently. The silence was comfortable. Then Leo would have to leave, and Nico would skip dinner. He was alone again, and when he was alone, he would take out his shard of glass that he got after smashing his mirror when he was sick of his reflection, and glide it over his wrists and hips. And they wondered why he always wore his aviator jacket.

2 years later, when he was supposedly 17, Leo stopped coming by, and Nico was still alone. He would always be alone. He still had his bad habit, and he wondered why he was still living. He was nothing, he still never bothered to tell anyone his secret (unless he counted the time he was forced), and he was unnoticed. Nico couldn't stand himself, he hated himself. So, he made a permanent change. The first few moments were the happiest of his life, and then his life was gone.

The way he went was so symbolic it could be considered ridiculous. He shadow-traveled to a deep part of the forest, and simply let the monsters attack. The voice this time was only his, and he actually died. Didn't wake up in a bronze jar. Didn't have a sister to worry about.

Jason found a note on the nightstand in the Hades cabin during a visit a day after the incident. He wanted to check on Nico, especially to see how he was handling Hazel's death, even though it had been a while. The note read:

You let me down. All of you. Or it was just me. Do you all realize how sad this is when I know the general place I am going to end up? And that I know I don't have any people to see? They all chose rebirth. I'm not. I don't want to handle life again. I don't want to, and I don't deserve it, either. Or maybe I do. Maybe the pain of life is the punishment I need. Would I have the same burden I carry now? Will I even have the chance? Speaking of burdens, let me tell you all something. Especially you. Yes, you. The hero.
I used to love you, Percy Jackson. What happened to that?

Putting the disoriented note down, Jason walked out of the Hades cabin, shaking his head. Let them find it, he thought, if they care enough, they will find it. Jason had a good idea who "they" was. He was part of it.

And where the body ended up, that was unknown. Maybe it would stay that way.

Author's Note: I know I kinda disappeared for a while, but the writing I am working on is all over the place; it's basically a hodgepodge of unfinished pieces.