Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are not mine. If they were then Meredith would be with Mark. Obviously.

A/N: I know it's been awhile and that I'm only editing this story but I've been seriously busy. I mean seriously. So that's my crappy apology.

Background for this story: Mer and Mark met during her Europe tour before Med school. They hit it off and ran around Europe together. Their relationship is complicated to anyone on the outside but simple to them. They're friends first and they support and adore each other without judgment. They tell each other everything…mostly. They keep the dark and twisties away from each other. They're both damaged and scary separately but together they are whole and healed. Yes, they will end up together eventually. Most of the details will come out in the story but if you have any questions leave me a review and I'll answer to the best of my ability without spoiling the story.

We all know what happens in the episodes…er, at least we should. Anyway, this is going to be a series of telephone calls and stuff between Mark and Meredith until Mark makes his way out to Seattle. Then it'll be in a normal story type form. I know Mark is going to come to Seattle earlier than he did in the show simply because Meredith is his friend and she needs him I'm just not sure when yet. It is Meredith and Mark centric so be prepared for that. Let me know what you think.

On with the fun!

A Hard Day's Night

Meredith Grey quickly locked the door of the house behind her and hurried down the stairs to her jeep. The guy from the bar, Derek, had been gone when she'd finished her shower, which was good, really it was a good thing. She was so not up to dealing with the awkward morning after a one night stand thing. She hated that awkward, babbling, uncomfortable feeling so she avoided it as assiduously as she could. Thankfully, Derek had done as she asked so for this morning at least she didn't have to deal with it. It was astonishingly nice of him. Then again maybe he was avoiding the awkwardness too.

Using one hand to open the door to her jeep she pulled her phone from her purse with the other and set it in the cradle attached to the dash as she hopped in. Next she took her keys out and paused to take a deep breath. Her heart was racing, her mouth was dry and she knew that her palms were sweaty. She could see the small tremors in her fingers. This was soooo not good. She couldn't do this.

"Oh God," she groaned and curled her fingers around the steering wheel for a long moment. "I can't do this. I have to do this." Her mind screamed at her to just give it up and go back inside. And yet…there was a small nearly silent voice pushing at her to turn the key and get a move on. A voice that was determined to prove to her mother that she could do this, even if her mother never knew that she'd been so very wrong about her only daughter. Nodding to herself Meredith turned the ignition on and backed out of her drive slowly. She did her best to ignore the shaking fingers and her racing heart.

As she turned onto the street heading towards Highway 99 her eyes caught on the phone sitting innocently in the cradle. Her breath caught for a moment and then she sighed in resignation and reaching out to hit one to speed dial her best friend. She'd wanted to start this day off on her own. But she could really use his calming influence right about now. He'd help her gain some perspective. He'd know what to say to stop this panic attack. She hated that she needed him so much but she wasn't willing to let go either and that would be the only way for her to stop depending on him.

"Hey Angel," his warm comforting tone filled the silence of her jeep. The shaking in her fingers immediately stopped and her heart slowed. "You're fine." He told her in an easy tone without needing her to say anything. He was nearly psychic when it came to her neurosis, not that she ever minded. He was really good at the comfort thing. "You're going to be great." The confidence in his voice, confidence solely for her, made her stomach flutter and her heart beat a bit faster again for a completely different reason. It also had her mouth tugging up in an almost unwilling smile.

"How do you always know?" She half laughed, half scowled at him. He always made her laugh, since the first day they'd met; he'd made her laugh even when she wanted to cry. Even when he made her want to punch him, he made her laugh. It was a piece of predictability she only now was realizing she'd needed this morning.

"Just do. It's one of my many talents." He replied, in a smug tone. She knew he was grinning that smug grin that only he could carry off without looking like a jerk. Mostly. "Where are you?" He asked and the smug tone fell away to his more normal voice and a nearly plaintive cadence. "Please tell me you're not late. The Angel of Death is never late. Early, sure but never late." And now he was laughing at her.

"Funny Marky, really funny." She gave the phone a halfhearted scowl. He wouldn't be her Mark if he didn't laugh at her. "Don't call me that. Die called me Death and you call me Angel. Don't mix the two. It's weird." She gave half a thought to wondering what time it was in New York but then dismissed it. He'd never cared what time she called him and he wouldn't start now. "And it's not my fault. Well, okay, so it kinda is. I know better than to drink tequila and sleep with hot guys the night before a new job and I did it anyway. I'm so screwed."

His delighted laughter made her smile. Though the yawn that followed it dimmed the smile a touch. He was tired and yet he'd answered the phone for her. Knew what she needed almost before she did. "You'll be fine, Angel. You always are and I'm just a phone call away if you need me. And give me the details on the hot guy? Please?" There was that begging voice that usually got him anything he wanted. Even if she could resist it.

"No on the details because I don't have time and yeah," she giggled knowing he'd try again. "I know. You know I love you, right?" She tried to keep her own voice lighthearted but wasn't sure she managed it.

"I know." He answered all the teasing dropping away though the joy and support remained. "Love you too, Angel. Knock 'em dead."

"I really don't think that's a good idea, Mark," she giggled, trying to steer the conversation back into something lighter. Something that would cover the fact that she missed him. "I'm a doctor. I'm supposed to save people not murder them."

He laughed again, letting her slide back into the teasing mode they both enjoyed. "What do I know? I'm a plastic surgeon. I don't deal in life and death. Too much pressure." Still he had to make sure she didn't let her fears overwhelm her and teasing didn't always cut it. "You, on the other hand, the thrill totally enthralls you. You're gonna be so good at this."

She grinned happily, her confidence boosted by her best friend. "Yeah, you're right." He always knew what to say.

"I'm always right." He told her the irritatingly smug tone back.

She shook her head even as her lips curved in another smile. "Smug. I like that in a man. Go back to bed, Marky." She ordered. "I'll call you later."

Another yawn passed over the phone line. "Yeah, okay," he agreed in a suddenly sleepy voice. "Later Angel."

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Meredith stared around the hospital corridors silently fuming to herself. She should know how to get to the damned CT room. But…she didn't. She held in a sigh at herself. Mark was so going to laugh when she told him about this. This whole day was so…stupid. How could she have forgotten where the CT was? Normally she had a great sense of direction but today…well, today was screwed six ways to Sunday.

And this girl was seriously starting to piss her off. But then beauty queens always had. They were so freaking shallow and self-absorbed. And the kid wouldn't shut up. She just kept yapping in that arrogant tone of voice, whining and bitching about anything and everything.

She grinned inwardly as she finally found the CT room. She got Katie situated and stood back while the tech's scanned the girl. When they were finished she took the still whining girl back to her room. Seriously they'd drugged her for the CT and she was still whining.

She stood outside Katie's room for a moment and tried to remember what else she needed to do. Her stomach chose to growl at that moment and she realized that it was lunchtime and she hadn't had time for breakfast. She figured that's what she got for sleeping with a hot guy and getting drunk the night before. Still…there was something else nagging at her. Needing something she couldn't quite name she pulled out her phone as she headed for the cafeteria.

Her fingers pushed the speed dial without her conscious decision and the phone was at her ear before she even really had time to think about what she was doing. He would know what it was she needed. He always did.

"You've reached Mark's personal cell." His voice reached out to her after a few rings. "I'd come up with something witty to say but I really don't feel like it. If you don't know the drill by now then you've been living under a rock for the past twenty or so years and you have no reason to be calling me."

Meredith smirked in amusement at his snarky voicemail message. He'd changed it again. He was such a dick sometimes. "Right, you're busy." She sighed loudly, knowing he'd hear the tension in her tone. "How's surgery? I only have a few minutes and just wanted to check in. First day's okay so far. 15 year old seizure patient. No clue why she's seizing. Medical mysteries are a good way to start the first day. But uh, yeah, she's a beauty pageant girl. Got lost on the way to CT. So kinda sucks. But not, you know? Anyway gotta go. Call you later." She knew she was probably speaking too fast but she couldn't bring herself to care. It was Mark. He'd know what she meant. He always did.

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Meredith spotted the other interns in her group across the cafeteria. After she'd paid for her food she hesitantly headed towards them. Maybe she should try to make some friends. She wasn't all that great at that activity but she should probably try. Besides she needed someone to bitch to since Mark was unavailable. It would be a very long and lonely seven years if she continued on with her loner ways.

"Katie Bryce is a pain in the ass," she announced as she plopped down at the table with the other interns. She decided to just be herself with these people. If she truly wanted friends then they needed to know how she really acted. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. "If I hadn't taken the Hippocratic Oath I'd Kevorkian her with my bare hands." She waited for the reactions. Utter silence fell over the table as the others all stared at her in shock. "What?" She asked confused. What had she said that was so strange?

There were mumbles that she couldn't quite understand and she abruptly realized that these interns thought she was serious. A wave of loneliness hit her. She really wished Mark hadn't been in surgery when she'd called. He always got her twisted humor. It looked like she wasn't going to make many friends with this group. This internship was going to be a nightmare if they didn't lighten up a bit.

Then she spotted the slight smirk on Cristina's lips. She rolled her eyes. Cristina looked up and one eyebrow rose in silent question. Meredith let her lips twist a bit and shook her head. Cristina gave a shrug. Meredith felt better. At least someone here got the joke.

"Good afternoon, interns," Dr. Burke, the Head of Cardio greeted them before anyone else could decide on an articulate response to Meredith's comment. "It's posted, but I thought I'd share the good news personally," he said as he walked passed them to stand beside O'Malley with a pleased glint in his eyes. "As you know, the honor of performing the first surgery is reserved for the intern that shows the most promise." Suddenly they all sat up a bit straighter. Except for her. Meredith resisted the urge to roll her eyes for at least the hundredth time that day. She knew where this was headed. It had been one of her mother's favorite moves on the first day for a bunch of new interns. It was a dick move and she'd never approved of it. All it did was cause dissension and then humiliation and had caused more than one of her mother's interns to quit and run. "As I'm running the O.R. today," Burke continued in that same smug tone. "I get to make that choice." After a pause he put his hand on O'Malley's shoulder. "George O'Malley."

Everyone's eyes widened in surprise, even and especially O'Malley's. Everyone's except Meredith's. In that moment she really hated Dr. Burke. George was a puppy dog. A sweet, fuzzy, little puppy dog with big eyes and a happy mien. It just wasn't right for anyone to kick at puppies. "Me?" George stuttered out, shock and surprise coloring his tone. His eyes grew wide and he blinked as he visibly attempted to process this unexpected information.

Burke smiled down at him though his eyes went a bit cold. "You'll scrub in for an appendectomy this afternoon. Congratulations. Enjoy it." He walked away, the set of his shoulders giving off an air of self-satisfaction. Meredith glared daggers at his back for a moment. This was going to be bad.

Complete and unnerving silence fell over the table again. Meredith tried to give an entirely terrified George a sympathetic smile. But he didn't see as the other interns all let their jealousy at his supposedly good fortune eat them up.

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Katie Bryce's parents were full of questions. Meredith thought she knew the answers to most of them but she didn't feel comfortable giving them out on her first day. Feeling more than a bit edgy with the couples desperate looks and demanding voices, she made her excuses in what she knew was a rambling way and fled to find Bailey. Bailey would know what to do. She had to.

"Katie's parents have questions," she told Bailey flatly when she found her talking with another doctor. "Do you talk to them or do I ask Dr. Burke," Meredith asked in that same flat tone that she hoped was hiding exactly how antsy the parents had made her feel.

"No, Burke's off the case," Bailey told her impatiently though she still patted Meredith's shoulder in an effort to show that she wasn't angry with the younger woman. "Katie belongs to the new attending now, Dr. Shepherd." She stretched up and ran her eyes over the bustling room. She pointed to a spot in front of Meredith a short way across the room to a knot of nurses and doctors and then turned away. "He's over there."

Meredith took two steps forward and stopped abruptly as the knot of people shifted and she spotted him. Her entire being ground to a halt. Oh, this was not good. Not good at all. She started to back away, shaking in reaction, but his eyes caught hers and she froze like a cornered mouse. He blinked in something that seemed like pleased surprise and started to smile. Adrenaline crashed through her in a rush and she bolted, automatically pulling her phone out of her pocket as she fled.

"Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap." Meredith muttered into the speaker as she fled down a corridor. Her fingers automatically punching the call button. How did these things always happen to her.

"Still lost, Angel?" He laughed at the mutters coming through the speaker. His angel was always amusing when she was worked up and it was never very difficult for him to calm her down once he started trying. Though sometimes he liked leaving her wound up. Her babbling made him laugh. So far the tone to her muttering wasn't too serious so he'd simply laugh at her until she got to the level of agitation that meant she really was about to freak out completely.

"No. No. Crap." She hissed at him. He was not helping her to put anything in perspective. He was such a jerk. "Hot guy's here." She explained breathlessly. Maybe the complete SNAFU that seemed to be her life would finally force Mark to come to his senses and help her. "HERE, Mark. And he's an attending. And I'm on his service because my seizure patient is now his case. Crap. Could I get any more screwed? Mark. Mark! Stop laughing!" She fumed at him even as his delighted chuckles warmed up her insides and calmed her nerves some. Dammit! She hated that he could make her see this funny side of this situation.

"Only you, Mer, only you." And it was true, he mused to himself. Only Meredith Grey could sleep with a guy and then find out he was her boss. Meredith's troubles suddenly made his own seem trivial. He wasn't surprised. Meredith made everything manageable for him without even trying and usually without even knowing she was doing anything. Her existence simply made everything seem easier to deal with. He closed his eyes as he listened to her sputter and let his lips crease in a smile that few ever saw and only she saw frequently. "You get yourself into the most interesting situations, Angel." He shook his head indulgently at her even though she couldn't see him.

"Thanks." She griped at him sarcastically even if her lips were still trying to smile without her permission. "That helps so much. Gotta go, I'm running away and he's gonna catch me. Oh and Mark? Stop laughing! God, I hate you." She shut her phone and turned to face Derek with a guilty flush spreading on her cheeks.

Across the country Mark snickered at her frustration and flipped his phone closed. No matter what she said she didn't hate him. He knew beyond any doubt that she'd call him later and though she'd never apologize and probably wouldn't remember saying it he forgave her easily. He always did, she was his Angel.

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Less than ten minutes after her last call Mark's phone buzzed with Meredith's ring tone again. A grin tugged his lips up as he flipped it open.

"God!" She snapped before he could say anything. "He's an ass. Seriously. Says I took advantage of him because he was drunk. I was drunk. Maybe he was too. I don't remember. Still. Seriously. He's an ass. Do all attendings have this kind of God complex? He could have been fucking Danny DeVito and I wouldn't have noticed last night. So what if he has great hair. And beautiful eyes. And his hands…Are you going to say anything? Mark?" She finally stopped for a breath at the end of her rant.

"You haven't given me the chance, Angel," he told her, amused. "But…huh…yeah, he's an ass. Most attendings think they're some kind of god, hazards of saving people's lives every day, I guess. You don't even like Danny DeVito so you would have noticed. And more details? Don't actually care what he looks like but give me the down and dirty anyway."

Meredith expelled her breath on a chuckle. He was such a goofball. "No," she denied him. "I have to work, you voyeur and so do you, for that matter. I'll tell you later…maybe…if you're a good boy."

"Angel we both know I'm very, very good," his husky voice rolled out.

She ignored the familiar shiver that tone inflicted on her…mostly. "And oh, so humble about it too," she sniped back. "Done ranting. Gotta go. One of the new interns is scrubbing in on an appendectomy and I'm gonna go cheer him on."

Mark smirked. He knew all too well what that tone did to her hormones. "Ah. So someone else knows your mom's little trick?"

He could nearly see her shrug her shoulders in a façade of indifference. "Seems that way."

"Poor intern," his tone was anything but sympathetic. He'd never used that particular trick with an intern but only because there was no way he'd ever give an intern any kind of control in one of his surgeries. He thought it was an excellent torture technique, it just wasn't one he'd ever use.

"Sure," she drawled out. "You think it's funny."

"Nope," he disagreed in exaggerated innocence. "Though it is a way to separate the wheat from the chaff. Tell me you couldn't handle an appy on your first day. And I bet you could name every single other intern that could manage it too." He already knew she could. She was just that good.

Meredith opened her mouth to refute that claim and then snapped it shut. He was right. An appy wasn't that difficult as long as you didn't break the strings. She could probably do one. She'd seen it done enough times. "I don't know all of them well enough yet," she said instead. "Though…I think Cristina could handle one. She's hungry."

"Then the attending on call is lucky he didn't single either of you out. You'd breeze through it and show him or her, wouldn't you?" He pointed out reasonably.

Meredith leaned back against a wall and smiled softly, glad she'd let her agitation take her over and prompt her to call Mark. She felt much better than she had only a few minutes ago. "Yeah. Probably. But Burke wouldn't have picked me even if I'd nearly flunked out of med school. He'd be too freaked about my mother." And wasn't that just wonderful, she thought sarcastically.

Mark made a derogatory sound in his throat. Ellis Grey might have been an excellent surgeon but she'd been a crap mother. For Mark that was more important. All of Meredith's neurosis could be traced back to that woman. "She's not all that."

"Mmm," Meredith hummed noncommittally. Her mommy issues were not up for discussion today or any other day no matter how much he thought they should be. "Anyway…got any ideas for my seizure patient?" They needed to change the subject before she got worked up again.

Mark shrugged though he knew she couldn't see him. He let her get away from the mommy subject for now but one day he'd pin her down and spill all the things in her past that were still wounding her. "I'll give it some thought while I'm playing with silicone breast implants, okay?"

"Kay," she agreed gratefully. "Later Mark." She broke the connection and headed for the gallery. Somebody needed to be on O'Malley's side.

Mark snapped his phone closed and unconsciously grinned down at it. He wasn't sure why his Angel had started calling him about every little thing in her life but he the why didn't actually matter and he was glad she had. She always managed to brighten his day just that little bit more.

Her numerous phone calls every day made losing Derek hurt just a bit less. Not a whole lot but enough for him to function. And they gave him something else to concentrate on. He hadn't told her what he'd done yet. He knew she wouldn't condemn him but she was trying to start her life in Seattle with all of its memories and pain and he didn't want to add to it. She had her own darkness to deal with she didn't need his added to it. Even though he knew she wouldn't see it that way he still wasn't going to pile his problems onto her shoulders.

Shaking his head at his own thoughts, Mark slipped his phone into his pocket and pulled out his patient's chart listlessly. He had another boob job to do. Sometimes he really hated plastics.

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The first notes of Meredith's ringtone filled his office and he fumbled the phone from his pocket with one hand. "Feeling better?" Mark asked as soon as he flipped the phone open.

"No," she answered promptly. "I still hate you. You're a rat bastard. And he's following me and undressing me with his eyes and he wants me to go out with him on Friday." She pouted at him. She blew her bangs out of her face with a heavy breath and slumped against the wall at her back.

"So go." He encouraged in a forcibly bright tone. It would do her good to get out and try to have a normal relationship. She needed some kind of stability in her life besides him. He only wanted her to be happy and at the moment she really wasn't. Oh, she put on a very brave and convincing front but she'd never been able to hide from him. She was lonely and he hated it.

"No," she objected as promptly as she had a moment ago. "He's an attending." She tried to explain. She couldn't date Derek Shepherd. He was her boss. It would never work. She'd go through Hell with the other interns and Bailey and then Shepherd would break up with her and she'd have gone through all of the humiliation and pain for nothing.

"I would be too…if I worked at a hospital. You'd go out with me," he pointed out with a cocky smirk at his office wall.

She waved a hand in the air. "That's different." She'd walk through the fires of Hell and the admonition of Heaven for him without a blink. But it was completely different. He was her Mark. "I've known you for years. And you wouldn't give me any favors. I hate plastics." She whined halfheartedly. She'd have no qualms dating Mark if he were in Seattle, even if he was her boss. And she'd take down anyone that had a problem with it. But it was different with Mark. He was…just…it was different.

"I'd give you favors if you liked plastics, you know." He told her in an easy tone. He really would too. Meredith was good. Even though he'd never seen her practicing medicine or actually being a doctor he knew she was smart and very good and he'd happily have her assisting him in the O.R. He'd been the one quizzing her for her tests after all.

"Duh. It's still different." She waved that subject away. His belief in her was never in question. "What am I gonna do Mark?" She shook her head not really expecting him to answer that question and hurried on to a new topic. "And O'Malley screwed up the appy and nearly killed the patient. And I think he has a crush on me. He's giving me these looks and keeps hanging out with me and Cristina and Izzie. He's not a bad guy but he's a puppy. It's weird. And they're calling him 007." She told him quickly, hoping he'd grab the new subject and leave the old one. There really wasn't any way he could help her with the Derek situation except to listen to her rant and give crappy advice that she had no intention of following.

"A crush huh? Really? I never would have figured that would ever happen to you." He grinned at his own sarcasm. His Angel had been the subject of more crushes during college and Med school than he had and he loved to tease her about it. It was hilarious to him. Normally she never even noticed the puppies that crushed on her so this guy must be crushing hard. And being excessively obvious about it. Poor guy. Meredith would eat the poor man alive without even meaning too. Meredith didn't do well with cuddly. She was too dark and twisty and she needed someone harder than this O'Malley sounded to be.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Mark." She huffed at him and then ruined it with a giggle. She knew exactly how he felt about the crushes other men had on her. He teased her enough about them that she should. "Anyway, Cristina thinks I'm funny…I think."

"She laughed at one of your off the wall jokes?"

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"Some idiot jock of an intern called me a nurse," she huffed at him later as she flipped through some of Bailey's charts. "Can you believe that?"

"Want me to beat him up for you?" He asked her seriously. No one called his Angel a nurse and got away with it. She'd worked damn hard to get where she was and no one was allowed to denigrate that.

She rolled her eyes at his protective streak. "No, I'll handle it. It's just irritating and my patient keeps paging me 9-1-1 because she's bored."

Mark clucked sympathetically. He dealt with enough Beauty Pageant girls to know exactly what she meant. "What did you expect from a teenage beauty queen, Angel?"

"So not the point." She huffed at him.

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Meredith pulled out her phone with shaking hands. Even after throwing up she was still nearly hyperventilating. This was awful. What had she done? She needed…she needed. Please let him answer, she begged the universe. She needed him to tell her that it was all right. She needed…him. Just him. The sound of his voice would soothe her. Please be there. Because if he wasn't she wasn't sure what she would do. Probably go find a corner and curl up and cry.

"Mark." She gasped out in terror and relief as soon as he picked up. "I nearly killed her. I…I…" She felt the tears gathering in her eyes and it irritated her. This was stupid. She had made a mistake but it wasn't irreparable. Katie was okay now. She hadn't died. What the Hell was wrong with her? She didn't usually let her emotions control her. She was the calm one. The cold one. At least that's what Sadie had said.

He blinked a bit at the nearly unintelligible words. Something was seriously wrong with his Angel. "Shh, Angel. It's alright. Calm down for me. Deep breaths. In. Out. Come on, Mer. Come on. Breathe with me. Shh. In, Angel. Breathe. Out. Good girl. Good. Couple more. Good girl. What happened, Angel?" Mark spoke to her in his most soothing voice. It was the only way he knew to calm her down without being beside her. It normally worked wonders when she'd become stressed over her exams or papers. He really hoped it worked for this too. Her babbling was nearly incomprehensible and he needed to know what was going on. He couldn't fix it if he didn't know what was wrong.

"Katie…the seizure patient." Meredith finally calmed down enough to begin to explain everything to him in a shaky voice. "She seized and I didn't run to the 911 because she'd been bugging me with them cuz she was bored. Her heart…it stopped. We got it back but it stopped and he yelled at me and told me to get out. And then Bailey yelled at me. I…I didn't know it was really an emergency."

Mark closed his eyes, rubbed at the bridge of his nose with one hand, bit his lip and drew in a deep breath to keep himself from yelling at her. Really, she should know better. However, he reminded himself, at the moment he wasn't a doctor, he was her friend. He couldn't yell at her for making a mistake. Her bosses had already taken care of that so she needed him to be understanding even if he really felt like pointing out what she'd done wrong. "Mer." He finally said slowly, searching for the right words. "It's okay. It's your first day. You're okay. Keep breathing. You'll be all right. You didn't lose her. She'll be fine. You did good." He did the best he could to reassure her. It wasn't nearly as difficult as he'd thought it would be. This wasn't some know nothing intern, it was Meredith. She was bound to make mistakes but she'd manage and she hadn't killed the girl. It wasn't nearly as bad as she was making it out to be. It was her first day. Now that he thought about it he couldn't understand why anyone was yelling at her.

"I nearly killed her," she shrieked at him. She had been expecting him to yell at her too before he did the whole comfort and reassurance thing. He had experience. He had no patience with idiocy. Why wasn't he tearing her a new one?

"But you didn't. You brought her back, right? You did good." He told her again and realized that he wasn't lying to make her feel better. It was only her first day and she hadn't ended up killing the girl. She'd learn. And she'd remember. This was an experience that would stick with her. Next time she'd run first and rant about stupid patients later. And she was good, she would be an incredible doctor once she got a bit more experience under her belt. "You sound like Hell, Angel. Get some rest and then you'll be able to function better, you know?"

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"He's gonna let one of us scrub in on the procedure if we can diagnose her! We just need to figure out why she's seizing!" Meredith's voice was no longer shaky or tired. She sounded excited and chirpy. A big part of her wanted that surgery. She wanted to know and learn. She wanted to have a front row seat to see them fix whatever was wrong with Katie.

"That's great, Angel! You'll figure it out. And then you'll get to scrub in on your first shift. And for what could be an advanced procedure too." He grinned into the darkness of his bedroom. Her ringtone had woken him up but he didn't care. Sure it was like nine o'clock in the morning but that was what they made heavy curtains for. Addie stirred against his chest and snuggled a bit closer without waking up…thankfully. She knew about Meredith but he didn't think she'd be all that enthused that he'd answered the call before he was even fully awake especially since he'd been known to sleep through Addie's calls.

"You know…" he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "I don't think I actually want to scrub in with him. He's mean. And when he's not mean he's being all charming and sexy and…I just want to fix her." She claimed in a sincere tone. He knew, though, that given half a chance she'd jump on the surgery. She was a surgeon after all and any time in the O.R. was a good time.

"You'll diagnose her in time, Angel. Give him a chance, Mer. Maybe he's your knight in shining scrubs or whatever." He really hoped this doctor was the one for her. He was happy with Addie and he wanted Meredith to be happy too. He felt kind of guilty that he'd found his One and left his Angel behind and lonely. He'd always be there for her but…he had Addie now. Meredith needed someone too.

Meredith snorted out a disbelieving laugh at his words. "Whatever. You know I don't really believe in that stuff. Love you though. Gotta go hit the books and save the girl. Hey! Maybe I'm the knight in shining whatever." Her infectious laughter rang out at that almost absurd thought.

His husky laugh filled her ear in response as he pictured her as a knight fighting against disease armed with a scalpel and a shiny silver scrub cap. "Nah, you're an Angel. My Angel." His miracle. Addie stirred a bit more and her red hair tickled his shoulder as he set the phone on the nightstand. Yeah, Meredith was his Angel but Addie was going to be his forever. At least he hoped she was his forever. The mirth that Meredith infected him with bled away and he stared down at the top of Addie's head with a wistful smile. Addie had to be his forever. If she wasn't then he'd made the biggest mistake of his life and hers.

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"He picked me," she told him in a disgruntled tone. "I didn't even want it and now my only friend here, or possible friend, Cristina, isn't speaking to me and I told her. About the other night. And now she isn't speaking to me because he's a jerk. Why did he pick me? I let her convince him. I told her she could have it and he gave it to me. I tried to tell him I didn't want it but the words froze in my throat." His Angel was rambling again but if wasn't the frantic babbling of earlier when she'd nearly killed her patient. Which meant that she was probably lying to herself. She wanted the surgery, she just didn't want to have the surgery if it was because the mysterious 'he' had slept with her.

"She'll forgive you. She can't hold his actions against you forever." He soothed. He'd known she'd take the surgery. She'd have to. She was a surgeon at heart. As much as she'd fought it and as much as she ranted about surgeons being arrogant, cutthroat jerks she was still destined for greatness. And he would tell her everyday how proud of her he was. No one else would so he'd step up for his best friend and let her know that she was wanted and that someone was proud of what she did. It wasn't like it was difficult.

"I didn't get into Med school because my mother's famous! And I didn't get into the surgery because he slept with me! I got in because I figured it out! Me. I did it. I deserve this chance." She ranted with a bit of pride and a lot of steel in her voice. He was glad to hear the steel. His Angel was strong and he needed her to remember that.

"Damn straight, Angel." He encouraged with more than a bit of pride in his own voice. There was his fiery, strong Angel girl. The one that no one could keep down. He'd been wondering where she'd gone.

"I'm still going to ask him though," she continued more quietly though the core of steel remained. "And if he picked me to be on this surgery because I slept with him I'm giving it to Cristina. I won't pass this program that way. I have my morals…loose as they are usually. It's the principle of the thing."

"He didn't," Mark assured her. "You're good, Angel. Anyone would be lucky to have you beside them in the O.R. You're calm and patient and you don't crack under pressure. He chose you because you're the best." And if he didn't then he prayed this guy would never tell Meredith that. Mer deserved a chance to shine for everyone else to see and not just him.

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"George's parents tell everyone that he's a surgeon like he's some kind of superhero he said. All I could think when he told me that was that my mother said I couldn't hack it." Her voice was quiet, introspective.

"Your mother's an idiot. You're gonna be great." He told her in the same hushed tone she had used, unwilling to break her out of wherever her thoughts were taking her. He leaned back in his desk chair and put his feet up on the desk. Personally he thought that Meredith was a superhero. She'd come through such adversity, such hostility and she still soldiered on, mostly undaunted. She was the strongest person he'd ever met.

"Thanks." She let out a breath and held the phone a little closer to her ear as though that action would bring him closer too. "I can't think of any one reason why I want to be a surgeon…But I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit." She drew in another ragged breath and heard his breathing on the other end. He wasn't going to say anything. He was letting her gather her thoughts and get it all out. "They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit, but here's the thing…I love the playing field." She knew she wasn't articulating what she was feeling very well but she also knew it didn't matter. Mark would know what she meant.

"Yeah." He knew that feeling well. Nearly every surgeon did.

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"So, I made it through my first shift." She sat in her car staring at the hospital before her through the windshield. All in all it hadn't been that bad really.

"You did." He confirmed quietly. She still had that introspective tone.

"We all did. The other interns are all good people." He could hear the tiredness dragging at her now.

"They are." He confirmed again. He wasn't sure that they were but he wasn't going to contradict her this morning. She was high off of her first shift and deserved the good feelings.

"You'd like them." She told him confidently.

"Angel," he laughed in derision unable to let that pass without comment. He hated interns. Always had, even when he was one. Meredith was an exception, but then she'd always been an exception. "They're interns. I'd hate them."

"I'm an intern. You don't hate me." She pouted even knowing that he didn't mean her. To Mark she wasn't an intern, not really.

"True, but you're you. You're my best friend. You're not like the others." He pointed out sadly.

Alerted by something in his tone of voice she frowned. "Mark? What's wrong? You okay?"

"No. I did something stupid. It'll be okay though. Swear." He should have known that she'd pick up on his sadness over Derek sooner or later. He could never hide things from her either.

Meredith pulled out of the parking lot. "Mark? What'd you do?"

"I slept with someone I shouldn't have. No," he stopped himself. He slept with women he probably shouldn't all the time. The situation with Addie was something more devastating. "That's not the mistake. I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have. I love her and I ruined her marriage and I really don't think she loves me." Once he'd started he couldn't stop himself from pouring out the whole story to her. She would understand all of the unspoken things embedded in his words.

"Oh, Mark," she sighed her heart breaking for his pain. "I'm so sorry."

"I miss you. And I've lost my brother, my best friend because I fell for his wife. He left her and she's with me but she wants him back. She doesn't say it but I know it. And all I can think is that you're all the way across the country and I can't hop on a shuttle and come get a hug if I need one. Which, you know, I really do." It was rare that Mark let anyone see the vulnerable side of his personality but he'd never had any qualms about showing it to Meredith. And she returned that favor to him. Separate they were broken but together they were happy and almost whole again.

"I wish you could. I miss you too." Three thousand miles suddenly seemed a lot farther than it had only moments before.