Nothing is mine or beta read.

indiasierrabravo asked for: Bilbo and Smaug, crime solvers. Bonus points for real actual dragon Smaug.

"Bilbo," Smaug said, poking his friend in the side and eliciting a squeak from the jumpy hobbit, "I would like to inform you that I have caught the criminal and solved the crime."

Bilbo jumped up, looking everywhere for the human responsible for trying to steal the Arkenstone again; upon seeing no one nearby, he quirked an eyebrow at the large dragon settling on the green grass in front of him.

"Please don't tell me, that you ate the criminal," Bilbo said rubbing his head before yelling at his partner-in-crime, "SMAUG! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THE CRIMINAL!"

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