Chapter One: This is Berk

This is Berk. It's twelve days North of Hopeless and a few degrees South of Freezing to Death. It is located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word - sturdy. It's been here for seven generations yet every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests.

A nearby sheep bleated as something snatched it out of nowhere. The other sheep continued grazing.

You see most places have mice or mosquitoes; we have...

A blonde girl opened the door of her house but slammed it shut almost immediately as a river of flame was sent in her direction.

"Dragons!" she breathed. Outside the villagers were battling with the almost nightly raid of dragons that Berk had experienced for Thor-knows-how-long.

Most people would leave. Not us, we're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues.

The girl ran outside, ducking and dodging as the chaos raged around her.

My name's Astrid. Great name, I know, but it's better than most. Parents believe that a unique name will scare off gnomes and goblins. Like our charming Viking demeanour wouldn't do that.

Astrid was, by this point, flat on her back and had a Viking screaming in her face. When he realised that she wasn't a dragon, he gave a cheery "Morning!" and ran off. Astrid continued to run through the village, despite the constant warnings for her to get back inside, in order to get to the one place where she felt needed. On the way, she nearly ran into a stream of fire when she was scooped out of the way (more like, grabbed by the scruff of the neck) at the last second by the one person no one wanted to anger.

"Astrid!" the man shouted. "What is she doing out again...what are you doing out?" he snapped. "Get inside!"

That's Stoick the Vast, chief of the tribe. They say that when he was a baby, he knocked a dragon's head clean off its shoulders. Do I believe it? Yes, I do.

"What have we got?" Stoick asked a nearby Viking.

"Gronkles, Nadders, Zipplebacks...oh, and Horak saw a Monstrous Nightmare!" the Viking replied, ducking as a shower of sparks hit the house behind them.

"Any Night Furies?"

"None so far."

"Good."

Meanwhile, Astrid had made it to the forge where a large man with a hammer as a hand was waiting.

"Oh, nice of you to join the party," he greeted. "I thought you'd been carried off."

"Who, me?" Astrid smirked, throwing her work apron over her blue top and spiked skirt. "Nah, come on. I'm way too muscular for their tastes. They wouldn't know what to do with all this," she added, lifting a heavy hammer onto its stand and then gesturing at herself before striking a muscle-pose. Not that it had any effect – Astrid was one of the skinniest teens on Berk and she knew it.

"Well, they need toothpicks, don't they?" the guy asked in equal cynicism as Astrid ran over to the window to grab some weapons that had been dropped off.

The meat-head with the attitude and interchangeable hands is Gobber. I've been his apprentice ever since I was little. Well, littler.

Another house outside was hit by a fireball.

See? Old village; lots and lots of new houses.

Outside, the raid continued. Stoick gave orders to move to the lower defences and to set up the catapults. Astrid had handed over some arrows to a Viking when a shout of "Come on!" caught her attention. Shifting her gaze to the nearby water pump, she recognised her peers.

Oh, that's Fishlegs; Snotlout; the twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, and...

The last boy threw his bucket of water over a nearby fire just as another fireball exploded behind him.

...Hiccup.

Astrid could only stare as the cutest boy in the village and the others just strode calmly through the inferno. She'd had a crush on Hiccup ever since she was a baby – heck, she'd grown up with him after her parents were killed – but he had never returned her feelings. Okay, so 'Hiccup' was a pretty weird name but it made people think twice about making fun of him when he kicked their butt (trust me, he was good at it).

Oh, their job is so much cooler.

Astrid watched as the teens ran past the forge. Checking no one was looking, she began to clamber over the windowsill when Gobber yanked her back.

"Aww, come on. Let me out, please!" she moaned. "I need to make my mark!"

"Oh, you've made plenty of marks," Gobber replied, putting her down. "All in the wrong places!"

"Please, two minutes," Astrid pleaded. "I'll kill a dragon; my life will get infinitely better...I might even get a date! Heck, Hiccup might not even be embarrassed that I live under the same roof as him." That last one was something Astrid wanted more than anything else and killing a dragon would definitely earn her the respect from Hiccup she so desperately wanted - she was sick of him just plain ignoring her all the time at home.

"You can't lift a hammer..." Gobber pointed out. Astrid thought otherwise – anyone could lift a hammer. "You can't swing an axe..." Okay, he had a point there. "You can't even throw one of these!" he finished, holding up a bola cannon when a Viking conveniently came along and stole it, using it to knock a nearby Gronkle out of the sky. Astrid huffed.

"Okay, fine," she admitted. "But this..." she explained, indicating her latest invention – the Mangler. "...will throw it for me." She patted it fondly when it spontaneously went off, the resulting bola cannon hitting a Viking on the head.

"Now this here is what I'm talking about!" Gobber groaned.

"Mild calibration issues..." Astrid stuttered.

"Don't you... Astrid, if you ever want to get out there and fight dragons," Gobber sighed. "You need to stop all...this," he finished, gesturing at the girl.

"But you just pointed to all of me!" Astrid spat.

"That's it. Stop being all of you," Gobber summed up. Astrid glared at him.

"You, sir, are playing a dangerous game," she growled, without much effect due to her small size. "Keeping this much raw Viking-ness contained... THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!"

"I'll take my chances," Gobber replied in a deadpan voice. "Sword. Sharpen. Now." Astrid found herself with a heavy sword in her arms and on the way to the grinding wheel. There were times when she really hated her life.

One day I'll get out there. Because killing a dragon is everything around here. A Nadder head is sure to get me at least noticed. Gronkles are tough. Bringing down one of those would definitely get me a boyfriend. The Hideous Zippleback – exotic. Two heads – twice the status. Then there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the best Vikings go after those – they have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire.

On cue, a flaming Monstrous Nightmare attacked a catapult tower. Stoick ordered the others to reload whilst he took care of the dragon. A ballistic noise scared the thing away and caught everyone's attention. Not good.

But the ultimate prize is a dragon that no one has ever seen. We call it the...

"NIGHT FURY!"

"GET DOWN!"

A blast of blue flame hit a catapult tower and for a fleeting moment, a black shape flashed past before disappearing into the night. Astrid walked over to check the commotion. She could never be sure that a Night Fury was really out in the thick of the battle until it had struck again - if it did, it would be the chance she had been waiting for.

This thing never steals food, never shows itself and... another blast... never misses. No one has ever killed a Night Fury, which is why I'm going to be the first.

"Man the forge, Astrid. They need me out there," Gobber instructed, fitting an axe onto his arm. "Stay. Put. There." Astrid stared at him blankly. "You know what I mean." With that, he vanished into the chaos with a loud battle cry. As soon as he was out of sight, Astrid whipped off her apron and dashed outside with her Mangler. Finding a quiet spot outside the village, she set it up and waited.

"Come on," she whispered. "Give me something to shoot at, give me something to shoot at." Right now, anything would be welcome but a Night Fury would be perfect. As if the gods were answering her prayers, a screeching sound fill the area and another tower was blasted. As soon as she saw a flash of black in the flame, Astrid fired. The force knocked her back but a roar was all she needed to know.

"Whoa, I hit it?" she breathed. "YES! I HIT IT! Did anybody see that?" she grinned, turning back to the village. No one had but a crunch behind her told her she was no longer alone. "Except for you," she moaned, looking at the Monstrous Nightmare that had just crushed her machine.

Meanwhile, Stoick and his companions had caught a couple of Deadly Nadders but a high-pitched scream caught the chief's attention and he spotted the all too familiar silhouette of his foster daughter being chased by another dragon. Close by, Hiccup facepalmed.

"Do not let them escape!" Stoick ordered, running after the girl. Astrid dodged the sticky flames and eventually hid behind a watch tower as it caught alight. Peeking round, she didn't notice the dragon's head coming up behind her when Stoick bashed it out of the way. It tried to frazzle the chief but all that came out of the dragon's mouth was a pitiful flame. It had surpassed its shot limit.

"You're all out," Stoick sneered and, after a few knocks to the head, the Monstrous Nightmare flew off, along with the other dragons and their kill. The tower Astrid had hidden behind burnt through and fell through the village, causing the Nadders from earlier to be set free.

"Sorry, Stoick," she moaned.

Oh and there're two more things you need to know...

"Dad, remind me why I'm engaged to her again," Hiccup grumbled.

Hiccup was Stoick's son and was betrothed to Astrid.

AN: I'm back! I know the whole Astrid-and-Hiccup-swap-places thing has been done a lot but I thought I'd give it a go myself. Hope you guys like it.

For those who have read my Adventures of Valkyra Horrendous Haddock II series, the third and final story in the main trilogy is in the works right now and with any luck I should have enough material to start posting some time in the new year. I haven't forgotten about it - I'm just posting this story (and maybe some others if I have time...stupid school...) until there's enough story to post on here.

Again, sorry about the wait for something new to come up and I hope this story doesn't disappoint. No flames in the reviews please but any constructive criticism is welcome - I'm always looking to improve.