A/N: Alright, I've been informed that I am not allowed to publish fics that are 'merely scrips' on FF net, so in order to obey this I've decided to be an ass. Feel free to ignore the beginning of each chapter as it will be utter rubbish.

One day Cid Highwind was out walking. One day he found he strange coffin. He opened it. Inside was a series of print outs, with the official ShinRa logo. He started reading them. This is what they said.

From: Sephiroth
To: Hojo
S: Stop trying to be funny! You can't make jokes!
H: I made you

From: Rufus ShinRa
To: Rude
At: 2 in the morning
RS: Rude, I require your immediate presence! There is a moth in my bedroom!
RS: Rude, where are you? You know I have an irrational fear of insects!
RS: Rude?
RS: Rude!
R: Rude is dead. You are next. Love, Moth.

From: Angeal Hewley
To: Zack Fair
A: Genesis and I fondled ourselves last night. No good results. Nothing came up.
Z: Maybe you should invite Sephiroth?
A: Damn auto erect! I meant we googled ourselves! No results.
A: I meant auto correct….

From: Reno
To: Tseng
R: I'm hitting some bad trannies, so I'll be late
T: Reno, we've talked about this. If you are going to pick up transvestites, at least pick good ones. Like Cloud.
R: FUCK! I meant bad trains! Bad trains!
T: Sure you did.

From: Cid Highwind
To: Kadaj
(A/N: This only makes sense in the Family Bliss context)
CH: Why the Hell are your brothers crying now?!
K: Remember when they killed a butterfly and you said 'no butter for a month'
CH: Yeah, so?
K: Remember when they killed a bee and you said 'no honey for a month'
CH: Yeah, but why the hell are they crying?!
K: They killed a cockroach.

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