Disclaimer: I don't own them, Tolkien does.
Just to say this, this is not slash, and it will not become slash. These two have known each other for an extremely long time, and are closer then brothers, and have no attraction in that area. This is just a little fic showing that even the strongest break down when it becomes unbearable. Plus I just like to give Elrond and Glorfindel grief. ;) This a two part story, second part will be up soon.
Shadows of the Soul
For the Lord of Imladris, it had been a trying day. For one that was to be strong enough to hold all burdens of his people within himself, it was beyond the limit. Everything had reminded him of his grievances, and every step was becoming harder.
It started with Arwen's leaving. His little girl, his child, was leaving him, and was going to die. She was going to age beside his adopted son, who he loved just as much. When Aragorn died, she would die as well, either by grief or age. Elladan and Elrohir were staying as well, their choice unanswered. It scared him deeply, for he knew Elladan was starting to favor being mortal, and whatever one decided, the other would follow. For the two could not live without the other, the bond in them was far too strong. But he would lose one, maybe all three, to death, the same that had taken his own twin from him.
Elros, bright, clear, brave Elros, who chose to be counted among the Men, and died of old age. The memory was forever burned into the mind of Elrond, his dear twin taking his last breath, and his life ending.
But Elrond's pains went beyond even that. The abandonment of his parents, the death of so many. Gil-Galad, his king, his friend, his father in so many ways. Celebrian....
Her arms, her lips, her gentle touch. The sound of her voice, her quiet footsteps, the rustle of her clothes, the sweet smell of her, the feel of her, soft, warm, inviting. So far away from him when he needed her the most.
Tears pricked at the edges of his stormy gray eyes as he stood, trying to hold his grief in. But the grief only grew stronger, and even his emotional barriers couldn't stand against the flood. He sank to his knees, and covered his face with his hands, sobs shaking his form.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A faint song came from his lips as he walked down the silent halls. His green robes swirled around his ankles as he walked, his unbound golden hair shimmering in the faint candlelight. It had been a good night in the Hall of Fire, but for now he was weary, yet happy.
Suddenly a stab of grief entered his heart. Frowning, he stopped. It was not any grief of his, no, it was Elrond's. He could tell, from the bond the two had. But what could have brought up such pain from his friend?
A wave of protectiveness rushed over Glorfindel as he turned, and headed toward Elrond's rooms. He swiftly arrived, and knocked, only to not receive an answer. Pressing his ear to the door, he tried to hear what was going on inside. The grief within him was just as strong as when it appeared, perhaps stronger. Glorfindel's sharp ears picked up the faintest sounds of sobbing.
He silently opened the door, and looked within. The sobs were coming from the bedroom. He walked silently to the door of the room, and peered in. As he suspected, he found Elrond upon his knees, sobs escaping him.
Worry and grief entered Glorfindel's heart at the sight of his dearest friend in such a state. He went to him, and knelt by him. Gently, he wrapped one arm around Elrond's shaking shoulders, and pulled him to lean against him. He had a good idea as to what had kindle his friend's grief into being, but it hurt him to see him like this. He brought his other hand up to brush Elrond's dark hair back, then hold him close.
He whispered words of comfort, but did not utter the phrase, 'it'll be alright.' It wouldn't be, Glorfindel knew that well enough, and so did Elrond. Inside, Glorfindel's heart tightened as another heartbroken sob escaped his friend. So much had been taken from Elrond, everything in fact. The Half Elven had never had a true moment without grief in his life, not even at his daughter's wedding. No, even that was a sorrowful event, for it was almost like sentencing his daughter to death when he had given her away, Glorfindel had read that in those gray eyes that day. The grief was only beginning to peak out, and Glorfindel knew Elrond needed release from it.
"Elrond," he whispered, rocking the other gently back and forth, as if the other were a small elfling again.
Elrond didn't respond, except to lower his hands from his face, and lean more heavily into his friend. His face was slightly flushed, his eyes were streaming tears, and he murmured softly to himself as he wept.
Glorfindel leaned forward to get what Elrond was whispering.
"Its my fault. Its my fault," was the whispered phrase.
Glorfindel's heart twisted at that, and he held the Elf Lord closer to him.
"Its not, Elrond. Things happen, and sometimes even the Valar know not why they happen," he sighed.
"Thus it is my fault that I suffer so," Elrond said brokenly.
"Nay, some are chosen to suffer, Elrond. I wish it were not you, though. You have suffered more then enough, nîn mell meldir, far too much," Glorfindel hushed him, trying to hold his own tears.
/If only I could take your pain away,/ he thought to himself as he held the other.
"So much has been lost to you, Elrond, and that is not just. But not many things are not just in Arda. Abandonment and loneliness have been your companions for many years, but you shall never be alone," Glorfindel assured him.
Elrond had broken down before, and each time Glorfindel had been with him, caring for him, and knew that what the Half Elven needed the most was to be assured he was not alone, that not everyone had abandoned him.
"I shall not leave you, little one, nor have any of those that are still within your heart. Take comfort," he whispered.
"It is hard to take comfort when one is losing his children," Elrond cried softly, and buried his face in Glorfindel's robe, his pale hand grasping onto Glorfindel's sleeve.
"You are not losing them, Elrond. Arwen will finally be happy, as will Elladan and Elrohir once they choose their course. Arwen shall always be with you in your heart, and I have a feeling that Arda will not bind your sons to death. They shall come, when time allows," Glorfindel said, one hand stroking Elrond's hair.
"How can you be so sure?" Elrond whispered, his voice muffled by Glorfindel's robe.
"Because I know them, and I know you," Glorfindel said softly, pushing Elrond gently away to look into his eyes, "You know them better then I. And I know you wish them to be happy, though it may break your heart. But it will not break you."
Elrond sighed softly, his eyes downcast in guilt, "You are right. I am being selfish to want to keep them with me."
"Nay, not selfish, for you are far from it. Only a Father who doesn't want to let go because he loves and wants to protect his children," Glorfindel said.
Elrond nodded, to grief stricken to answer further.
Glorfindel sighed and looked more closely at Elrond as something caught his attention. Weariness shimmered in Elrond's eyes, and the skin around them was faintly gray from not sleeping for several days.
"I think you had best get to bed, nîn hîr," Glorfindel said gently.
"Nay, I had best get some work done while I can," Elrond said, and ran a hand over his eyes to wipe the remainder of his tears.
"You have time and you need rest," Glorfindel said, slight bit more force to his words.
"I tell you, I shall be alright," Elrond insisted.
"Elrond, I will get you to rest even if I have to carry you to that bed and strap you down in it," Glorfindel jokingly threatened, trying to banish the grief for a while from his friend.
It worked, for Elrond smiled slightly, "Very well, Glorfindel! I do not wish to be tied to my bed, therefore I will go willingly!"
He stood, and Glorfindel stood with him.
"Very well. I shall see you in the morning," Glorfindel said, smiling slightly himself.
"You shall. Good night," Elrond said.
Glorfindel only nodded and exited the room. He had no intention of leaving Elrond alone tonight, not after that incident. But he would have to wait until the other was asleep. Settling down in a chair, he waited. He heard Elrond getting into his bed, then nothing. A little while longer, and Glorfindel stood. Softly walking to the door, he peered in to see Elrond peacefully in Elven sleep. He walked in; making sure Elrond was truly asleep, then walked to the great balcony. He would stay the night, keeping watch over the other, for he knew that during these times Elrond had horrid nightmares that left him grief stricken for days. He would make sure that no nightmares haunted his friend this night.
Turning back to the stars, Glorfindel breathed in the cool night air. Suddenly, a chocked sob came from him and his pale hands gripped the railing. Elrond's memories always brought his own to him, and now Glorfindel's own emotions were becoming known. He stifled another sob, and pushed them back with years of practice. He was here to help Elrond, and there would be no comfort for him for he carried his own burdens alone even as he helped his friend with his.
Just to say this, this is not slash, and it will not become slash. These two have known each other for an extremely long time, and are closer then brothers, and have no attraction in that area. This is just a little fic showing that even the strongest break down when it becomes unbearable. Plus I just like to give Elrond and Glorfindel grief. ;) This a two part story, second part will be up soon.
Shadows of the Soul
For the Lord of Imladris, it had been a trying day. For one that was to be strong enough to hold all burdens of his people within himself, it was beyond the limit. Everything had reminded him of his grievances, and every step was becoming harder.
It started with Arwen's leaving. His little girl, his child, was leaving him, and was going to die. She was going to age beside his adopted son, who he loved just as much. When Aragorn died, she would die as well, either by grief or age. Elladan and Elrohir were staying as well, their choice unanswered. It scared him deeply, for he knew Elladan was starting to favor being mortal, and whatever one decided, the other would follow. For the two could not live without the other, the bond in them was far too strong. But he would lose one, maybe all three, to death, the same that had taken his own twin from him.
Elros, bright, clear, brave Elros, who chose to be counted among the Men, and died of old age. The memory was forever burned into the mind of Elrond, his dear twin taking his last breath, and his life ending.
But Elrond's pains went beyond even that. The abandonment of his parents, the death of so many. Gil-Galad, his king, his friend, his father in so many ways. Celebrian....
Her arms, her lips, her gentle touch. The sound of her voice, her quiet footsteps, the rustle of her clothes, the sweet smell of her, the feel of her, soft, warm, inviting. So far away from him when he needed her the most.
Tears pricked at the edges of his stormy gray eyes as he stood, trying to hold his grief in. But the grief only grew stronger, and even his emotional barriers couldn't stand against the flood. He sank to his knees, and covered his face with his hands, sobs shaking his form.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A faint song came from his lips as he walked down the silent halls. His green robes swirled around his ankles as he walked, his unbound golden hair shimmering in the faint candlelight. It had been a good night in the Hall of Fire, but for now he was weary, yet happy.
Suddenly a stab of grief entered his heart. Frowning, he stopped. It was not any grief of his, no, it was Elrond's. He could tell, from the bond the two had. But what could have brought up such pain from his friend?
A wave of protectiveness rushed over Glorfindel as he turned, and headed toward Elrond's rooms. He swiftly arrived, and knocked, only to not receive an answer. Pressing his ear to the door, he tried to hear what was going on inside. The grief within him was just as strong as when it appeared, perhaps stronger. Glorfindel's sharp ears picked up the faintest sounds of sobbing.
He silently opened the door, and looked within. The sobs were coming from the bedroom. He walked silently to the door of the room, and peered in. As he suspected, he found Elrond upon his knees, sobs escaping him.
Worry and grief entered Glorfindel's heart at the sight of his dearest friend in such a state. He went to him, and knelt by him. Gently, he wrapped one arm around Elrond's shaking shoulders, and pulled him to lean against him. He had a good idea as to what had kindle his friend's grief into being, but it hurt him to see him like this. He brought his other hand up to brush Elrond's dark hair back, then hold him close.
He whispered words of comfort, but did not utter the phrase, 'it'll be alright.' It wouldn't be, Glorfindel knew that well enough, and so did Elrond. Inside, Glorfindel's heart tightened as another heartbroken sob escaped his friend. So much had been taken from Elrond, everything in fact. The Half Elven had never had a true moment without grief in his life, not even at his daughter's wedding. No, even that was a sorrowful event, for it was almost like sentencing his daughter to death when he had given her away, Glorfindel had read that in those gray eyes that day. The grief was only beginning to peak out, and Glorfindel knew Elrond needed release from it.
"Elrond," he whispered, rocking the other gently back and forth, as if the other were a small elfling again.
Elrond didn't respond, except to lower his hands from his face, and lean more heavily into his friend. His face was slightly flushed, his eyes were streaming tears, and he murmured softly to himself as he wept.
Glorfindel leaned forward to get what Elrond was whispering.
"Its my fault. Its my fault," was the whispered phrase.
Glorfindel's heart twisted at that, and he held the Elf Lord closer to him.
"Its not, Elrond. Things happen, and sometimes even the Valar know not why they happen," he sighed.
"Thus it is my fault that I suffer so," Elrond said brokenly.
"Nay, some are chosen to suffer, Elrond. I wish it were not you, though. You have suffered more then enough, nîn mell meldir, far too much," Glorfindel hushed him, trying to hold his own tears.
/If only I could take your pain away,/ he thought to himself as he held the other.
"So much has been lost to you, Elrond, and that is not just. But not many things are not just in Arda. Abandonment and loneliness have been your companions for many years, but you shall never be alone," Glorfindel assured him.
Elrond had broken down before, and each time Glorfindel had been with him, caring for him, and knew that what the Half Elven needed the most was to be assured he was not alone, that not everyone had abandoned him.
"I shall not leave you, little one, nor have any of those that are still within your heart. Take comfort," he whispered.
"It is hard to take comfort when one is losing his children," Elrond cried softly, and buried his face in Glorfindel's robe, his pale hand grasping onto Glorfindel's sleeve.
"You are not losing them, Elrond. Arwen will finally be happy, as will Elladan and Elrohir once they choose their course. Arwen shall always be with you in your heart, and I have a feeling that Arda will not bind your sons to death. They shall come, when time allows," Glorfindel said, one hand stroking Elrond's hair.
"How can you be so sure?" Elrond whispered, his voice muffled by Glorfindel's robe.
"Because I know them, and I know you," Glorfindel said softly, pushing Elrond gently away to look into his eyes, "You know them better then I. And I know you wish them to be happy, though it may break your heart. But it will not break you."
Elrond sighed softly, his eyes downcast in guilt, "You are right. I am being selfish to want to keep them with me."
"Nay, not selfish, for you are far from it. Only a Father who doesn't want to let go because he loves and wants to protect his children," Glorfindel said.
Elrond nodded, to grief stricken to answer further.
Glorfindel sighed and looked more closely at Elrond as something caught his attention. Weariness shimmered in Elrond's eyes, and the skin around them was faintly gray from not sleeping for several days.
"I think you had best get to bed, nîn hîr," Glorfindel said gently.
"Nay, I had best get some work done while I can," Elrond said, and ran a hand over his eyes to wipe the remainder of his tears.
"You have time and you need rest," Glorfindel said, slight bit more force to his words.
"I tell you, I shall be alright," Elrond insisted.
"Elrond, I will get you to rest even if I have to carry you to that bed and strap you down in it," Glorfindel jokingly threatened, trying to banish the grief for a while from his friend.
It worked, for Elrond smiled slightly, "Very well, Glorfindel! I do not wish to be tied to my bed, therefore I will go willingly!"
He stood, and Glorfindel stood with him.
"Very well. I shall see you in the morning," Glorfindel said, smiling slightly himself.
"You shall. Good night," Elrond said.
Glorfindel only nodded and exited the room. He had no intention of leaving Elrond alone tonight, not after that incident. But he would have to wait until the other was asleep. Settling down in a chair, he waited. He heard Elrond getting into his bed, then nothing. A little while longer, and Glorfindel stood. Softly walking to the door, he peered in to see Elrond peacefully in Elven sleep. He walked in; making sure Elrond was truly asleep, then walked to the great balcony. He would stay the night, keeping watch over the other, for he knew that during these times Elrond had horrid nightmares that left him grief stricken for days. He would make sure that no nightmares haunted his friend this night.
Turning back to the stars, Glorfindel breathed in the cool night air. Suddenly, a chocked sob came from him and his pale hands gripped the railing. Elrond's memories always brought his own to him, and now Glorfindel's own emotions were becoming known. He stifled another sob, and pushed them back with years of practice. He was here to help Elrond, and there would be no comfort for him for he carried his own burdens alone even as he helped his friend with his.