Chapter 6

"-Spencer," I tried.

"No, I knew I shouldn't have told you about it," Spencer said, shaking her head. "I actually believed that you wouldn't be judgmental, but you're doing it! Why does it matter, anyways? He didn't even start the rumor, Posey did."

"Posey may have done all that shit to you, but Andrew still tried to sexually assault you," I argued, crossing my arms. "I want to be supportive, but not when I know the decision you're making is a stupid one."

"Don't exaggerate!" Spencer cried. "He wasn't trying to sexually assault me, he was just trying to kiss me and stuff. He was just drunk, Toby. It wasn't the real him. The real him is a guy that cares about me and loves me, so that's who I want in my life."

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind about this?" I asked.

"Not this time," she answered, shrugging her shoulders. "I think I've made my own decision about this, but thank you for your stupid input."

"It's not stupid!" I cried as she walked away.

"Hey, Liz," I greeted, swooping by her. "That was a fun day, wasn't it? I'd like to go out for real some time. Like... maybe on a date or something?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and said, "Toby, I don't think that's a good idea. I had fun, too, but I think we should kind of keep it as friends for a bit. Let's just take a short break, and talk about what we can be later. I've got stuff going on that I need to deal with, and I just don't have time for dating."

Okay, I wasn't used to rejection, but I didn't really ask girls out a lot. I usually just hooked up with them, flirted, and whatever else. Why would Liz not want to go out? Maybe she just wanted to have that one time. So, I knew what it felt like to be used. It wasn't too bad, but it wasn't good, either. Maybe I didn't care as much because I didn't really like Liz anymore. It wasn't the same as middle school, where she was that girl I would die to have.

"Yeah, I know what you're saying, and it's cool," I said, shrugging it off. "If you ever wanna finish what we started, you know who to call."

Liz gave me a small smile before saying, "Thank you for understanding. I'll talk to you soon."

"Hey, babe," I said, following Spencer after gym class. "You ready to walk home?"

"Yeah, but I have to you know... talk to Andrew about getting back together before we leave," she informed, making me want to cringe. "Oh, and stop calling me babe. He told me he doesn't like that. Besides, aren't you going out with Liz?"

"I'm working on it, but she's making it seem like she's not my type anymore," I explained.

"Then what is your type?" Spencer asked.

"Smart, beautiful, funny, brunette, brown eyes," I flirted, grinning at her. I knew she wouldn't take it seriously. We weren't even really friends. I thought she was mad at me the other day, and she sort of was, but she was mostly just thinking about Andrew. I wasn't sure if she and I were even really friends anymore.

"Toby..." she mumbled.

"What?" I asked with a smirk. "There's a lot of girls like that!"

"Sure," she said in disbelief. "Anyways, I feel like we haven't talked much about what's going on with you. I need to make sure that you're being honest with me about quitting your nasty habits. Give me your backpack, I have to check if you have any bad stuff. It's just to make sure."

"Okay."

I handed her my backpack, and she searched through it. When she was finished, she had a smile on her face. Did I make her happy by not having my 'nasty stuff'?

"I'm so proud of you!" Spencer exclaimed, hugging me quickly, and then retreating. "You're so much better now, Toby. You've quit your habits. Just don't sneak off to parties, and your parents will trust you again in no time."

"What happens if they trust me again?" I asked.

"Well, then this stupid program will end," she answered.

"I won't see you ever again, will I?" I asked curiously.

"Probably not, but it doesn't even matter," Spencer said. "We have our own lives."

I furrowed my eyebrows, but I knew I didn't agree with her. I tried to avoid being friends with her at first, but we spent too much time together, and we talked a lot. I thought we were friends, and I thought she felt the same way about that, but she didn't even really want to be my friend? The old Toby would have shrugged it off and wouldn't have given a fuck, but I knew I had changed, and I wasn't the same guy anymore. The new Toby cared if a girl like Spencer Hastings didn't want to be his friend.

We were looking at each other, but I couldn't even detect what she was feeling. I knew I was feeling confused, because I thought she didn't hate my guts anymore, but it seemed like she was going back to feeling that way about me!

Breaking the silence was Spencer's phone, which buzzed. She glanced at the message, and her eyes widened.

"Sorry, Toby," she began, "Hanna's having a crisis, and I have to help her. Can I trust you to be alone for a few minutes without popping out your cigarettes or trying to smuggle a gun?"

I bit my lip, trying to not smile, and answered, "I don't know, maybe. We'll find out, won't we?"

"We will," she said, nodding her head and walking outside.

I went outside, too, but I didn't really want to talk to anybody. Most of my other friends were gang members, and I wasn't allowed to talk to them anymore. I would have normally talked to Posey, but I was pissed off at him for what he did to Spencer. The only other person I could think of that wasn't in a gang was Jacob, so I went to him.

"You're not gonna try to kick my ass, too, are you?"

I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?"

Jacob sighed and said, "I know what we did to Spencer was messed up and stupid. I feel stupid just thinking about it. I don't even know how, but Posey lured me in, and I—"

"Wait, you did that to Spencer?" I asked, in shock. "I didn't even know! Who else was involved in this crap?"

"Shit, man, I thought you already knew..." Jacob mumbled. "No one else, though, I swear. It was just me n' Posey."

"You didn't have to tell me you did it, but you used your idiot brain and did!" I yelled, about ready to knee his groin right there and then. "Why would you guys even think about doing that to somebody?"

Jacob wiped the sweat off of his forehead and answered, "I wasn't thinking, man. I was being stupid. Posey doesn't like Spencer. He thinks she's changing you, and he asked me to help him start shit, so I did as I was told. I don't know why I did it! I guess I kinda believe she been changin' you, too!"

I shook my head and quietly said, "Jacob, I thought we were friends. And look, yeah, I know I've been changing, but let's face it, isn't it for the better?"

"No!" Jacob cried. "You can change, but why does it have to be like this? You never come to parties anymore, you always hang around Hastings, you never smoke, you never drink, you're becoming just like her!"

"Those are all things I want to be away from," I told him, sighing. "They're not things to be proud of. They were ruining my life! I finally have my life going in the direction I want it to go, and I don't need you or Posey in it anymore, screwing everything up for me. Don't you dare touch Spencer ever again, or I'll fucking mess you up."

That was the last thing I said before I started walking towards Spencer so we could walk home together.

"Okay, enough about my stuff with Caleb!" Hanna Marin exclaimed, grabbing Spencer's hands. "Fill us in with all the details about your new boy!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, you know!" Hanna exclaimed, winking and nudging her. "Everybody knows you've got some sort of thing going on with Toby Cavanaugh, Spence."

"No, I don't have anything going on with him!" she denied, shaking her head. "He's sort of a friend, I don't really know. We just are forced to walk home and stuff. It's all a part of that Steered Straight program at school."

"You don't even have a small crush on him?" Emily asked, giggling. "I'm gay, but he is definitely cute!"

Spencer shrugged her shoulders, "Well, I can't deny that, but... but it doesn't even matter. I thought we sort of had something, but I know he's not into me like that. He's practically going out with this insanely gorgeous girl named Liz."

"Maybe he's just saving the best for last," Aria teased, smiling at her.

"It's never going to happen," she said, shaking her head. "She's way better than me. I'm like... too lame for him, you know? He wants a girl like Liz! I can't be like her. So, I'm going back to my roots. I'm going to forgive Andrew, since he was drunk, and I know he didn't start the rumor. Toby's friend Posey did."

Wait, what? Spencer had feelings for me? I couldn't even believe it. I always seemed to overhear the most important conversations...

"That's not true," Aria said, putting her arm around Spencer. "That stupid boy would be lucky to have you. It's his loss if he wants Liz over you."

"It doesn't even matter, it was never meant to happen," she said.

Okay, I knew that I sort of liked Spencer, but hearing her say that she liked me back made me want to tell her. I had a shot to tell her that I liked her, but I had to do it before she found Andrew. I wanted to make it grand, but I didn't have much time to plan anything because she was literally about to talk to Andrew in a minute. I needed more time. If I planned something big, I could win her over and convince her that I wasn't the bad guy she thought I was.

"Anyways, where's Andrew?" Spencer asked.

Shit.

"Oh, he left school early," Emily informed. "We were in bio together, and then he told Hayes that he felt like throwing up, so he left class. Hayes called the office, and he went home early."

"Damn it!" Spencer cried. "Now I have to wait until he gets back to tell him that I want to get back together. He could be out for days, weeks, months—"

"It'll be fine, Spence," Hanna said, chuckling. "It'll give you time to think hard about your decision. Do you really even want him back?"

"Hanna, don't try to make me rethink my decision," Spencer warned. "All I know is that I had some really happy times with Andrew, despite the bad times. He can make me happy, and I just want to go back to that good place we were in."

Well, I wasn't going to let her. I didn't tell Spencer that Liz didn't want to go out with me, so she didn't know. However, I was going to show her that I wanted to be with her. I would plan out everything I was going to say, and ask her out before Andrew got a chance to come back. I really felt like I had the upper hand when I knew that she liked me!

And for the first time, I didn't want some sexual thing with a girl. I wanted a relationship... I wanted something real!

And I wanted it with Spencer Hastings.