.o.O. The Poltergeist .O.o.

Welcome to Hogwarts. It's a nice school all things considered. Scratch that, it's a brilliant place. You see, most kids learn about history or algebra, maybe language or music. Some teach drama or even film studies. Lucky sods. We don't learn any off that. See, we learn 'bout something quite different here.

We learn magic.

Now as fantastic as that sounds, we're still in a school. We still have classes, tests, homework and all that other good stuff. Trust me, it's a lot more fun then I'm making it sound. What teens get to learn about transfiguration, or charms? Then have to run to the library to read up for an essay on the fibrous virtues of the snuffpod's pollen?

Yeah. I'm gonna shut up about the homework now.

But we also have after-school activities. There are sports teams on broomsticks, chess clubs, muggle appreciations societies. Plenty of stuff to keep the procrastinating student away from their potions essay, or to give the child prodigy a chance to shine any more blindingly.

Of these two students, I only wish that I could be one of them.

.o.O.o.

Hiccup sprinted up the grand staircase, bag half-hanging off of his shoulder and slice of buttered toast in his mouth. He was late, very late. One class in, and this was already turning into a bad day.

Without warning, the staircase under him began to slowly move to the right while he was halfway up it. 'Oh no you don't!' He put on an extra burst of speed, inhaling crumbs as he panted up the steps. He leapt over the last two steps into the corridor. 'Hah! Success!' Only to stumble and fall flat on his face in the corridor. 'Damn.'

Picking himself up of the floor, Hiccup took a bite out of the soggy toast. He chewed frantically, trying not to choke as he jogged down the corridor. Ten minutes. He could make it. Charms was right there.

.o.O.o.

But of course, like any school it has its problems.

In any school as big as Hogwarts, there's always going to be "a few scuffles here and there" as Headmistress Gothel calls the inter-House relations. Apparently the rivalries are supposed to introduce competitiveness between the students and keep the standards up or something. And in a way I suppose it kind of works.

Gryffindors excel at sports, clubs, most competitions really. You could never beat any Ravenclaw in any House, or State exam. Just exams in general. Slytherins just seem determined to be the best at anything and everything. By any means necessary.

And then you have the easy targets, the Hufflepuffs.

.o.O.o.

"Hey Squibby!"

Hiccup grimaced internally and gave a nervous smile externally. He slowed to a casual walk, but didn't stop moving. Turning he gave his twitching smile to the green-robed Slytherins who started walking along him. He didn't even try to get away. They'd just catch him like they always did. This day had just gone from 'bad' to 'horrible.'

"Hi guys."

Hiccup was acutely aware of his black and yellow tie as he walked between the Sabbington brothers. There was no way he was getting to Charms now. He felt his heart slowly sinking into his stomach as the twins shepherded him back out to the Grand Staircase.

To say that the Sabbingtons were large for their age would've been the understatement of Hiccup's life. Were it not for the fact that he knew that even thinking about comparing the two brothers to gorillas would possibly kill him, Hiccup would've openly admitted that there was a connection somewhere. Not that not thinking it had ever helped him before.

"So uh," Hiccup tried to hide the quaver in his voice by pretending to chew, "how've you been? Working out?"

Silence. He swallowed as the three of them started climbing the nearest staircase. He was going to have to think fast on this one. "Uh, guys ... I know that we have our differences, and our similarities. Few though they are!" He quickly back-tracked seeing both brothers frown at being compared to him of all people. They continued to steer Hiccup up the stairs, they were almost at the top.

"But uh, usually by now you would've, I dunno jinxed my tongue to the roof of my mouth or somethi- where are we going?" They herded him behind a tapestry and through one of the many 'secret' corridors of the school.

.o.O.o.

Yeah, Hufflepuff for the most part is the house of 'everybody else.' If you're not brave, or smart, or ambitious. Welcome to Hufflepuff, the punchline of every joke in school. Also the favourite punching bag of many people.

And if you happen to be the punchline of the punchline to every joke in school? You obviously haven't met me; Henry Horrendous Haddock the Third. Hiccup to everyone else.

.o.O.o.

'This is bad, this is bad, this is bad thisisbadthisisbadthisisbad.'

The only thing that kept Hiccup from panicking outright, was that there was still a chance to get out of this. Hiccup wasn't nearly as big as the Sabbingtons, but he was still quick and light on his feet. He might still make it out of here if he played his cards right.

"You guys know that this is a stupid spot for a murder right?" 'So much for "playing the cards right."'

One brother smirked, one brother scowled. Hiccup didn't know which one was more threatening.

"We know." The smirking one smirked. Smugly. Like a cat with a rat. "Please Squibby, if we wanted to kill you, the Forbidden Forest would be the better option." He shrugged, "As it is, everyone's in class now, so there's no one around."

The scowling brother pulled out his wand and twirled it between his fingers as he leaned against the wall beside Hiccup. Hiccup himself started to stand on the balls of his feet ready to bolt when the chance came. Not that it would. 'Chuckles' beside him would be on him with a leg-locker curse so fast that he'd skid along the floor when he fell over.

And yes, he was speaking from experience.

Ah well, if at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

.o.O.o.

As much as I'd love to tell you about the wonderful life that I lead. From the nickname, to the fantastic friends that I don't have. I need to tell you about my school's biggest problem.

As you've probably guessed, like any other school Hogwarts has a bullying problem. We also have drafty classrooms; Potions, being in the dungeons is the worst. Our headmistress is apathetic at best, vindictive at worst. No one knows how she got her place. Rumour has it that she "offed" the previous headmaster with poison, another is that she's secretly a vampire and she drank his blood. My particular favourite is that she's a veela who seduced the Minister of Magic into giving her the position.

The teachers give loads of homework as well and are quick to draw a detention should you place a toe out of line. Especially if you happen to be a squib, or half-squib, or rumoured to be a squib.

So it's you're typical second-level boarding school if you think about it. It's actually tonnes better than I'm making it sound. (And if I can enjoy this school in any way, anyone can)

The only really big problem that we have is our pest.

.o.O.o.

Hiccup bunny-hopped down the staircase. His legs locked together from the knees down, which essentially meant that he couldn't move his legs like a normal human being. Which meant that he was getting a good deal of exercise, hopping awkwardly around like a kangaroo with a broken leg.

He'd gotten off lightly all things considered.

There'll be a reversing charm in the library, which meant that he had ten minutes to get to the place in question before class ended and there were a good deal more people in the hallways to laugh at his expense. He got enough of that from the Sabbington brothers practising their jinxes, thank you very much.

Carefully he bounced on the balls of his feet towards the topmost step of the staircase. He over-balanced and flailed wildly trying to regain equilibrium. He finally gained control of his balance, teetering on the edge of the step. Behind him he heard a giggle, the air was suddenly cold and a faint breeze blew past him. That was the only warning Hiccup got before he was unceremoniously shoved.

'Why didn't I grab the railing?'

.o.O.o.

See most places have rats, or foxes. Small animals that are readily taken care of with a careful bit of planning. But 'oh no, not Hogwarts.' We don't get small, possibly cute little creatures that are only attracted to food.

Nah, we get something much worse.

.o.O.o.

It's a nightmare of twists, turns and bone-chilling speed. Hiccup can hear himself yelling as he slides down the stairway. Under him is a trail of frictionless ice, creating the slippriest slope and the scariest ride of his life.

Left, right, right, left, sharp right, sudden ramp.

Hiccup sees the plan of the vindictive slide, long before he hits it. Futilely he flailed his arms, trying desperately and fruitlessly to grab something to stop himself before he launched into space.

"No no no nonononononono- aaaaaaargh!" Hiccup was airborne. Everything was in slow motion, the ice crystals following him, the gob-smacked expressions of the portraits on the wall, the moving staircase in front of him turning to catch him so that the hellish ride could continue.

"Aaaarg-oof!" Touchdown.

The door in front of him opened and Hiccup saw the surprised expression of the small Ravenclaw, before he collided with her knees, knocking her on top of him. The slide now had two passengers instead of one, both hollering at the top of their lungs. Clinging to each other, they spun down the slippery ice out of control. Unheard by either victim, there was laughter.

The slide turned right, then travelled up a wall, then back down again. The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tried to grab something, anything that would slow them down. In response, the slide gave them a loop-the-loop.

The two of them gripped each other harder. Left, door, shelves. The library book cases hurled past them in a blur of colour. They were flown under tables and around chairs. The startled faces of students interrupted from study flashed at them before;

Thump, bump, thonk!

The ride finally ended when the two of them crashed into a red-head Gryphindor, only to continue into a book-case. A small avalanche ensued.

.o.O.o.

We get a certain poltergeist by the name of Jack Frost.

.o.O. Author's Notes .O.o.

Guess whose back!

I have excellent news, I got into Uni! Gweh, I'm so happy! 'Course this means that I'm going to have to leave you guys for a while until I actually have the time to waste on this site. Because get this;

Uni is HARD! You get weekly assignments and then on top of that you get long-term projects and then on top of THAT you end up writing reports for labs and the like. I actually don't have the time to waste on this site. I barely get enough time to read the Fanfics that I'm following, never mind finish or continue the ones that I have. The only reason that I even have the time to type this up is because I'm on my mid-term break, and even then I have a tonne of stuff to do.

Actually, I tell a lie; Uni is partly the reason that I'm opening up this new Fanfic. So here's the story;

I'm not going to have enough time to continue my other projects while I have projects of my own in Uni. However, I want to keep you all happy by giving all my lovely followers and reviewers something to sink their teeth into while I'm busy doing Uni stuff. So I'm going to cut you a deal.

Last week I recieved a review from a certain Wolfrunner99-2. I sent them a reply telling them all about Uni, and my current project which is worth 20% of my overall grade this year. I'm supposed to be writing a 2000 word essay on the rat, and why it's such a successful mammal. I've had a little trouble finding references, so I said that if they could find me a site or academic artical on the animal in question, I'd do a oneshot in their name.

I didn't realise that they actually WOULD reply with a reference. So Aunty Anyelse wrote them a very short oneshot. (Sorry Wolfrunner, didn't get to put in any shipping in there. I actually have no time to write any more than you see - says s/he writing a ridiculously long 'Author's Note')

So , I'd like to cut you the same deal. Get me articles and reports on rats, and I will write oneshots for you. Here are the conditions;

1) The better the reference, the better the oneshot. (This is a COLLEGE paper, references are everything. There is a lot more credibility to the essay if I'm quoting other scientific papers. Basically "Britannica Better, Wikipedia Worse")

2) You can have whatever oneshot you want, so long as it's 'the Big Four' and you remember that I can not write relationships for the life of me. So be careful if you want a 'shipfic.'

3) Any AU's fine by me, so long as you don't wan't explicit content. You can have HP, LotR, Westerns, Sci-Fi's, hell I might even do a High School fic if you have a REALLY good one.

If you have any references or questions, you can contact me through the Private Message system. Otherwise, just paste the link in your review like I've typed out below;

'randomcrap'*dot*'randomsite'*dot*com

is really wierd about posting links. It just doesn't let you type them out, whatever they are.

If you want a oneshot, hurry! The closing date is the 30th of November 2013.Be sure to have reviewed, or PMed before this date.

Until next time,

Anyelse