DISCLAIMER: K-ON! and its characters do not belong to me. :)
At First Glance
Not everything is what it appears to be.
"Stupid Ritsu. Stupid stupid stupid!" Mio said as she buried her face in her pillow. In her frustration, she mercilessly kicked and punched her mattress. It had been three weeks since she sent a letter to Ritsu, who was yet to send her reply.
"Stupid boarding school… Won't even allow internet access…"
Two years have passed since Ritsu went to a prestigious boarding school in a foreign land. She had somehow managed to get a scholarship there; the school was ranked as one of the best Universities in the world. There was only one catch—its students must conform to the strict rule that forbade its students to contact outsiders via cellphone or internet. Its students were only allowed to send a maximum of two letters per month to their loved ones.
Mio's heart was aching. For so long, she had put up with so much to keep their relationship going. Mio missed everything about Ritsu. The girl's mischievous yet gentle voice; the way she scratches the back of her head when she gets nervous; the comforting warmth of her calloused hands; the brilliance of those pair of entrancing amber eyes; those smooth, soft and inviting lips of hers; the trick that Ritsu did with her tongue whenever they would— okay, Mio was getting carried away.
"I shouldn't have persuaded her to take that scholarship…" Mio mumbled to herself. She knew that Ritsu taking the scholarship was the right choice, yet she couldn't help but wonder what could have been if Ritsu did not accept it. Mio vividly recalled that fateful day as if it happened yesterday.
"Mio, I don't want to take this!" Ritsu said as she tossed the acceptance letter to Mio. It said that Ritsu would be given two week to go to Europe and settle at the boarding school; otherwise her scholarship will be forfeited. Her two weeks were up 7 days from today.
"But this is a great opportunity! If I remember correctly, you wanted this so badly a year ago." Mio held the letter with her left hand as she approached Ritsu. The other girl stepped back; she was avoiding the letter as if it were the plague.
"I take it back, I don't want it anymore! Four years is too long!" Ritsu was two meters from Mio; the drummer had a runner's stance and was ready to escape at any time.
"Ritsu."
"No."
"Ritsu."
"No!"
"Ritsu! Enough!" Mio finally pinned Ritsu to the floor. They were the only ones left in the clubroom, that's why Mio's inhibitions were nowhere to be found.
"Why won't you take it?" Grey eyes shot daggers at Ritsu, who avoided the intense gaze that was fixated on her.
"Because I don't want to…" Ritsu answered in an almost inaudible whisper.
Mio's patience was slowly growing thin, her voice got louder "If you didn't then you shouldn't have applied—"
"It's not that! It's 'coz I don't want to leave you behind!" Ritsu's assertive voice reverberated in the clubroom. Her amber eyes were watery, and she looked hurt and confused. Ritsu was slightly shaking.
Mio should have known that Ritsu would be torn by this decision; the girl did tend to think about the feelings of others more than her own. That was how mature Ritsu was; she was ready to throw away everything just for the sake of those whom she loves. Sometimes even Mio wondered if she was really the mature one in their relationship.
"Please let me stay with you…" Ritsu begged Mio; her tears finally trickled from her amber eyes down to her cheeks. All throughout their more than 10 years of being friends, this was only the second time that Mio had ever seen Ritsu cry in front of her. Mio looked at Ritsu's swollen eye bags, come to think of it, they have been swollen since this morning. Ritsu must have been crying in her room these past couple of days.
There were only two ways out of this situation: the easy way and the hard way out. Mio had spent the past week contemplating; it was now the time for her to choose. Mio let out a sigh. She had finally chosen.
"Ritsu," Mio gently held both of Ritsu's cheeks with her hands, careful to make the girl's amber orbs make contact with her grey ones. She then spoke with all of the love and care that she had for the girl "Listen to me, please listen. No matter how long it takes, I will stay here; I will wait for you to come back. I'll be okay; you'll be okay; and most importantly, we'll be okay. So don't worry. What's four years compared to our forever? It's nothing, right? Just know that I love you so much, and nothing's going to change that. Even if we're miles and miles apart from each other, remember that we are still under the same sun and moon. Our hearts are eternally linked together by an invisible bond, and that's all that matters." Mio gave Ritsu a warm smile; her grey orbs were also teary at this point.
"I love you Ritsu. Please, take the scholarship." Mio was dying inside because she had chosen the hard way. Ritsu nodded, and they shared a passionate kiss that was bound to be their last.
"It's so hard without you here…" Mio's body went limp as she remembered the decision that haunted her for more than two years now—her life's biggest 'what if'. What if she had let Ritsu stay? Well, for sure their relationship would be a thousand times better than what it is now. They probably would be happier if they were physically together. Communication wouldn't be an issue because they would have gone to the same University and they would be together every single day of the week.
If Ritsu were here, the fights via the letters would have never existed, so would the feelings of jealousy, hatred, angst, pain, and hurt that were now fully developed in their hearts. Their two and a half year relationship would have been more romantic and sweet, rather than being chaotic and strained. Mio and Ritsu would have not been on the verge of calling it quits.
For once, Mio wished that she was selfish. If she were, everything might have been close to perfect. But if Mio did become such, there was no telling what great opportunities Ritsu might have missed out on. For all that she is, Mio wanted her lover to be successful even if it meant being away from her for 4 years or more.
The black haired girl sighed, "So many negative thoughts… I should just sleep this off..."
She closed her eyes shut, and she was about to drift into dreamland when she heard a buzzing noise. This reenergized her, for it signaled that the mail had just arrived. Mio bolted out of her bed, past her bedroom doorframe, down the stairs, and towards the apartment's main door.
Mio quickly opened the metal mail box, her fingers got caught on its metal flap. It hurt, but she didn't mind one bit because she had struck gold—there were a lot of envelopes to go through. In a flash, she read the recipient's name and decided if it was a check or an X.
"Kotobuki? No… Hirasawa? No… Nakano? No…. Akiyama? YES! I mean, No…"
Mio froze when she found the envelope that she was looking for: The characteristic yellow envelope that smelled of citrus, with the familiar penmanship on its face.
"To Mio Akiyama"
Mio's name was neatly printed in blank ink that came from the sign pen that she had given Ritsu. As she reached her room, Mio almost tore the envelope in half as she frantically opened it. Thankfully the letter was unharmed.
"Here it goes. Please be good news, please be good news, please be good news…" Mio's heart was racing, as if she just got out of the most extreme roller coaster ride on the face of the Earth—well, not that she would ride it, but still it was close enough to that kind of adrenaline rush.
Mio began to read the letter while she was standing next to her bed. "To Mio-chuan…"
TO Mio-chuan, My Princess
.
I am truly, wholeheartedly sorry for this!
.
When I get back, you can hit me all you want.
.
Get mad at me and hate me, I beg of you.
Please don't
forgive me
.
Please
.
I know I'm a terrible person for making you cry.
.
I don't love you anymore.
.
I don't want you to think that
I wrote this to test you.
.
The truth is…
.
I can't take it anymore!
.
Who am I kidding?
.
Other people can easily tear us apart
.
And I don't think that
This love of ours can last forever
.
I strongly believe that
I can't hold on to you anymore
And that
You can't hold on to me any longer
.
Don't you dare say that
You gave this your best, Mio
And I know for a fact that
I gave this relationship my 100%
.
We should just forget about each other.
.
Don't tell me that
We should continue to fight for us.
.
I want to let you understand.
.
-I don't love you
-I am through with you
-We are over
.
I'll never tell you that:
-I need you in my life
-I miss you
-I love you so much
.
I want to let you know the truth.
.
This is my last letter to you.
.
So don't expect that
I will continue to send you letters
Because I still love you,
.
After 3 years
I'll be returning to Japan
.
It's not true that
I will come home
Any time from today
.
I hope to see you soon, Mio
.
Goodbye.
.
You will never hear me say
.
I love you.
FROM Ritsu
The silence in Mio's room was unnerving. It was so quiet that you could hear her fragile heart shattering into tiny fragments. For a second, Mio forgot how to breathe. Her chest tightened, and it hurt like hell. This was the first time that she had felt this. It was like a pro-wrestler had just driven a sledgehammer to her chest, and decided to do it over and over again; and then a truck hit her at a speed of a hundred miles/hour; and then she got blown to smithereens by an atomic bomb. Normally, pain like that would have killed a person. But Mio was still breathing as she felt that pain.
"Th-this can't be… right…" Mio read the letter again and again, searching for something that would tell her that Ritsu was pulling a prank on her. She found nothing. Mio stood still, and the words sank in. She slid against her bed and sat down. She brought her knees to her chest and she slowly hugged her folded legs.
"This le-letter i-is…" Mio crumpled the envelope and letter which were in her left hand.
"I c-can't believe t-that…" She lowered her head to her knees. The tears that she was biting back were too strong. The first tear drop fell on her sleeve, then another fell, followed by another. Next thing she knew she was a hot mess.
Mio was sobbing uncontrollably; the long sleeves of her blouse and her pants were drenched in tears. Incomprehensible words would come out of her mouth, drowned out by her frequent screaming and loud sobbing. 'How could she do this to me?' She bitterly thought while she cried her eyes out.
"W-we're o-over!..." Mio wailed in agony as she forced those words out. After more than 2 years of dating, Ritsu had finally given up.
Ritsu… (How could you?)
Mio's first and only one true love.. (I loved you)
The person whom she gave all of her firsts to.. (I gave you everything)
The hyperactive and courageous drummer who balanced out her shy and scaredy-cat demeanor.. (We were meant for each other)
And now, Mio's first heartbreak. (I don't want to lose you)
Mio's eyes stung, and the area around her eyes was red and swollen. She felt dehydrated; her clothes were soaked with tears and mucus. Who knows how many liters of fluid she had lost through her eye ducts and nose. Yet, there she was curled up in a ball, still crying a river.
She hugged herself tightly as no one was there to comfort her. Mio felt cold and alone.
Her heart—'Wait, I don't have one' she sarcastically commented—was unfixable at this point.
Only Ritsu—'She already abandoned me' she commented again—could mend her broken heart.
Mio felt exhausted. Her strength had already left her body. "Rits—"Before the girl could finish, sleep finally took over and ended her suffering.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
At that moment in time, Ritsu was sitting comfortably in her reclining seat. She had booked a flight back to Japan hours ago, and now she was on her way. Ritsu was in the 'Executive Class' cabin of the airplane, she decided to splurge on her ticket.
"Hachooo!" Ritsu sneezed all of a sudden. "That was a big one! Someone must have thought of me. I sure hope it's my Miochuan~!" She said as she was wiping her nose.
"It sure feels good to get out of that prison of a school!" She stretched in her seat. Ritsu then thought about Mio, she really missed the girl. This must have been hard for Mio—being left alone for 2 years after Ritsu had protected her and stayed by her side for more than 12 years. Ritsu couldn't wait to hug Mio, and kiss her, and tell her that she loves her, and narrate to her all the adventures that she had during her 2 years in Europe.
Ritsu hoped that Mio would be surprised by her homecoming. It had been a little over two years since they saw each other face to face. Now Ritsu was taller, leaner, and fairer than she was before. Her yellow hairband was nowhere in sight. 'I hope Mio still recognizes me…' She said to herself.
Then Ritsu remembered something important. "I wonder if Mio found the note at the back of the letter that I sent her. Or else, I would have buried myself in my own grave with that letter. Yikes!"
Ritsu was very concerned regarding the matter. She hoped that Mio will be her meticulous self. Ritsu wished that Mio examined the back of the letter to find that very important, matter of life-or-death note that she had written. Of course Ritsu was confident that Mio had indeed found the note.
The cabin vibrated strongly. And then, oxygen masks fell right in front of every passenger's faces. A red warning light was flashing, and an audio recording was blaring from the speakers.
"Attention, all passengers and staff. We are experiencing technical difficulties now and we will perform an emergency landing…"
The passengers were panicking now. Some were talking loudly. Some strapped themselves tightly to their seats. Some were unstrapping themselves from their seats. The flight attendants tried to calm them down by reassuring them that everything will be alright.
"..Do not panic. For safety reasons, please follow the instructions found on the label of the masks. The staff will attend to you shortly. I repeat. Attention all passengers…"
The recording hadn't finished its first loop when a loud explosion rocked the airplane. All hell broke loose. Most—if not all—of the people were screaming and crying and hugging the person next to them. Mothers were hugging their distraught children while praying fervently. Some tried to call their loved ones, but to no avail. Some even tried to escape through the exit hatch, which was a very dumb idea. The atmosphere became chaotic in just 30 seconds.
Ritsu did not mind. She didn't panic, she never shouted curses. Instead, she calmly sat in her seat. After she wrote something and shoved it in her suitcase, she calmed down and solemnly prayed. The prayer was not for herself, but instead it was for her love ones— her Family, Friends, and Mio.
"Kami-sama, please bless and take care of all the people I love. I hope that Ma and Pa can look past their differences and fix their marriage. I pray that Satoshi will be blessed with a bright future ahead of him. I pray that Mugi, Yui, Azusa and all my friends will become successful and happy in life. And Mio, my eternal love, I pray for her well-being. I pray that you will not let her do something foolish just because I am no longer beside her, Kami-sama. Please let her know how much I love her. Kami-sama, please don't let them think that I died in vain… I wish that all of them will live well. " Ritsu closed her eyes shut. Her hands were strongly clamped together. She was shaking.
'Mio, I love you. I'm sorry.'
Then and there, at the middle of the ocean, an ear-piercing blast was heard. After that, all the shouting and crying stopped.
Silence. Complete and utter silence.
There was no more pandemonium.
In its place was peace.
All was quiet and tranquil.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
That evening, Mio awoke from her slumber. She could barely open her eyes, her cheeks were still wet with tears, and her lips and throat were dry. She felt horrible. Mio was a complete mess. In her left hand, she still held the crumpled piece of paper from earlier.
With all her strength, she pulled herself together and spared one last final look at the letter. She didn't know why, but she felt that she just had to read it again. Mio was sure that all of the bad memories from earlier will come flooding back in once she reads the letter.
As she flattened out the crumpled paper, the back portion faced her. She then noticed that a note was written at the back.
"P.S. To get my true message,
Read the letter backwards.
Start from the last line all the way to the start.
I have complete faith that you will find this note before it's too late.
That's why I made this letter in the first place and put this note at the back.
I love you!"
Mio hurriedly turned the piece of paper over and read the letter backwards, just as Ritsu had ordered.
"From Ritsu…"
FROM Ritsu
.
I love you.
.
You will never hear me say
Goodbye.
.
I hope to see you soon, Mio
.
Any time from today
I will come home
.
It's not true that
I'll be returning to Japan
After 3 years
.
Because I still love you,
I will continue to send you letters
.
So don't expect that
This is my last letter to you.
.
I want to let you know the truth.
.
-I love you so much
-I miss you
-I need you in my life
.
I'll never tell you that:
-We are over
-I am through with you
-I don't love you
.
I want to let you understand.
.
We should continue to fight for us.
.
Don't tell me that
We should just forget about each other.
.
I gave this relationship my 100%
And I know for a fact that
You gave this your best, Mio
.
Don't you dare say that
You can't hold on to me any longer
And that
I can't hold on to you anymore
.
I strongly believe that
This love of ours can last forever
And I don't think that
Other people can easily tear us apart
.
Who am I kidding?
.
I can't take this anymore!
.
The truth is…
I wrote this to test you.
.
I don't want you to think that
I don't love you anymore.
.
I know I'm a horrible person for making you cry.
.
Please
forgive me
.
Please don't
Get mad at me and hate me, I beg of you.
.
When I get back, you can hit me all you want.
.
I am truly, wholeheartedly sorry for this!
.
TO Mio-chuan, My princess
Mio cried, but this was different from before. Tears of joy rolled down her cheeks, replacing the tears of sorrow that soaked her clothes.
Ritsu had never abandoned her; Ritsu had never let go of their relationship. Until the very end, Ritsu had loved her truly, no strings attached.
Mio felt ashamed that she doubted her lover. She should have known that there was more to the letter than what meets the eye.
Just like life, the letter hid something special.
Something so special that it had to be hidden,
because everyone would probably want it if they saw it at first glance.
It is something very precious and sweet.
That something…
"I'll see you soon too, Ritsu." Mio said as she held the letter close to her heart.
…is what we call…
"I love you."
…true love.
-THE END-
This is my first one-shot!
As I was thinking of ideas for my main story,
I remembered a text message that was different when read normally and backwards.
It was also kinda gloomy.
So, yeah, that was my inspiration for this!
.
I hoped you enjoyed this, even if the end was sad *curls in a corner*
.
Hmmm.
'Til next story! :)