DISCLAIMER: All of the places and characters in this story belong to the genius Ms. J.K. Rowling. No profit is being made from this story. It only serves to (hopefully) entertain.
Rated T for profanity, some sensuality, and alcohol references... but mostly for profanity. :p
-Let It Be-
He first noticed it in September.
It wasn't uncommon for Sirius and Dorcas to lounge around while everyone else was hunched over homework, as the two of them were notorious for procrastinating, but it was different that time. They weren't lazily sprawled out on couches by the fire like they usually were, but were seated upright in chairs close together and engaged in quiet conversation.
That was another red flag: quiet. Sirius and Dorcas were never quiet.
James eyed them from across the common room over the top of his Potions book, barely able to contain a smirk. Sirius was fond of the ladies, and James had known all along it was only a matter of time before he fell for one of their fellow Gryffindors. He'd always assumed it'd be Marlene, but Dorcas wasn't much of a shocker. She was a lovely girl, very pretty, and as carefree and confident as Sirius was. In fact, the more James thought about it, the more it made sense.
What he couldn't figure out was why they were practically hiding in a corner of the common room... to talk. Acquiring a dark corner was like striking gold, and those who were lucky enough to snag one typically used the opportunity for a good snog. Those two, especially, were the type of people who would normally take advantage of it.
They stayed tucked away in the corner for just short of a half hour before Dorcas finally leaned over to hug Sirius. As she headed up to the girls' dormitories, Sirius made his way over to James, plopping himself down in the vacant chair beside him. True to character, he still didn't bother picking up a book.
"So, what was that all about?" James sniggered. He couldn't help himself.
"What?"
"You and Dorcas, off in the corner..."
Sirius let out a low chuckle.
"Me and Dorcas? You're barking," he said.
"Mhm," James murmured sarcastically, clearly unconvinced.
Sirius didn't argue. Instead, he merely rolled his eyes and finally grabbed a quill and piece of parchment to begin his work.
This threw James off slightly. When people thought something untrue about Sirius, he had a tendency to let them think what they wanted. While he'd had a few girlfriends, half the castle was convinced he shamelessly slept around, but there was really no truth to the rumor at all. Instead of telling people off, Sirius simply let them believe it. I know it's not true, and that's enough, he'd said once. However, when he really did have a secret to hide and someone called him out on it, he'd deny it to the death.
Maybe there really isn't anything going on, James thought. They're friends. Perhaps it truly was nothing.
James just shook his head, returning his focus to Potions.
He thought he understood it in October.
James was rudely awakened by clumsy Sirius fumbling around with his shoes in the dark. With a quick glance at his bedside clock, James saw that it was just after midnight.
"What are you doing?" James mumbled tiredly. "C'mon, the match is in a few hours. I need to sleep."
"Sorry," Sirius whispered loudly; it was a miracle Remus and Peter didn't begin to stir as well.
"What are you doing?" James repeated. His vision was blurry without his glasses, but he could vaguely see the Marauder's Map in his friend's hands.
"Nothing. Just going for a walk."
James raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Who is she?"
"Sod off, Potter," Sirius replied cheekily. "Mind if I borrow your cloak?"
"It's all yours. Just fill me in tomorrow, yeah?"
Sirius grinned before grabbing the cloak off the hanger beside the door, and James let out a low chortle before laying back against his pillow. Typical Sirius, sneaking off to meet some bird in the middle of the night. James had spotted him flirting with Natalie Fournier from Ravenclaw earlier in the week; maybe he'd won her over.
Just as soon as he closed his eyes, however, they snapped open again at the sound of two voices coming from the common room.
"You're late." That was Dorcas.
"Sorry. James."
James sat upright. Dorcas? Hadn't that been nothing?
Curiosity getting the best of him, he slithered out of bed, snuck out the door, and tiptoed down the stairs. As he peered his head around the corner, he saw Sirius looking intently at the map while Dorcas impatiently tapped her foot beside him.
"Alright, it looks like we're clear," Sirius affirmed. "We shouldn't run into any trouble."
"Where are we going?"
"I told you, it's a secret. You never know who could be listening." James absentmindedly pulled a little further back into the shadows. "It's a good place, though, I'm sure of it. I've never been caught there."
When Dorcas said nothing, he raised an eyebrow.
"Everything alright?"
"Yeah, it's just..." Her voice trailed off.
"What is it?"
"I hate sneaking around is all," she confessed with a sigh. "I wish it didn't have to be this way."
Sirius nodded sympathetically before pulling her into a hug. "I know."
"It really sucks."
"I know," he repeated, "but you have to admit there's something a little romantic about secrecy."
"There's nothing romantic about this, Sirius," Dorcas stubbornly said.
"Fair enough. C'mon, we'd best be off."
The two figures disappeared as Sirius threw the cloak over them, and James watched as the portrait hole seemingly opened and closed on its own.
So that's what it is, James thought to himself. They're messing around.
It wasn't uncommon for students at Hogwarts to sneak off in the middle of the night to snog, among other things. That had to be what was going on, seeing as Sirius assured him there was out of the ordinary happening between the two of them. James had spotted them conversing quietly in the common room every once in a while, but he'd never seen anything odd, and especially nothing to indicate they were involved in a secret relationship of some sort.
What was weird about this was Sirius hadn't talked to him about it. They were best friends and told each other everything. Unless this was a one-time thing, surely Sirius would have mentioned something.
Nonetheless, James jogged back upstairs, not thinking too much about it. All he could think of was figuring out where they were running off to. A secret spot like that could come in handy if he was ever lucky enough to call Lily his girl.
Just as he was about to open the drawer where they kept the map, James scowled.
That bastard, he thought. Damn you, Sirius.
It confused him in November.
He wouldn't have been the wiser had he not gone wandering off in search of Lily after having a pint in the Three Broomsticks with Remus and Emmeline. James strolled through the village, eyes peeled for any glimpse of that fiery red hair. He'd win her heart one day. He was sure of it.
Normally, he avoided Madam Puddifoot's like the plague, but seeing as he hadn't found Lily in Zonko's, Tomes and Scrolls, or any of the other shops, he couldn't help but think she was in that stupid little tea shop with some bloke. He was well aware that he was likely setting himself up to be miserable for the rest of the day, but he couldn't help himself. He just had to know.
What James saw, however, wasn't even close to what he'd been expecting.
He stood a safe distance away from the teashop, crinkling his eyebrows at the sight before him. Seated at a table right beside the window was Dorcas and Sirius. They were sitting across from her brother, Drake, and who James assumed was his girlfriend. The four of them seemed to be having a wonderful time talking, smiling, and laughing. Sirius had his arm around Dorcas's shoulders.
James watched as Sirius smiled at Dorcas before gently lifting her chin and giving her a quick kiss on the lips. In return, Dorcas snuggled up closer to him. Drake's girlfriend looped her arm through his and rested her head on his shoulder. The foursome continued their blissful chatter.
It didn't make sense. A few private chats in the common room weren't a big deal. He could have misunderstood them the one time he caught them sneaking out late at night. But a kiss in a public place, especially in a place like Madam Puddifoot's? That certainly wasn't nothing.
It didn't bother James that Sirius was apparently with Dorcas; they'd always gotten along and they seemed to suit one another. What bothered him was that Sirius didn't tell him about it. They'd never kept secrets from each other. What was so different about it this time?
That night in the common room, James asked him about it.
"So are you sure nothing's going on between you and Dorcas?"
Sirius laughed as he played with his screaming yo-yo. "Still on about that, aren't you? I told you, there's nothing there."
"Honestly?"
"Honestly. Have I ever lied to you?"
"No, but..." James's voice trailed off. He didn't want to sound accusatory, but he hated being left in the dark. "I saw you two in Madam Puddifoot's today."
"So?"
"So, it's Madam Puddifoot's. Friends don't normally go there on a whim."
"When have I ever done what's normal?" he sniggered.
James sighed. He was a pain in the arse sometimes.
"Sirius, I saw you kiss her."
Sirius stopped playing with the yo-yo and scowled.
"So?" he repeated.
"Oh, come on, mate," James said. "We're best friends. If you and Dorcas are together, I think that's great. I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me about it."
"Because there's honestly nothing to tell," Sirius said. "Look, Drake wanted Dorcas to get to know Amelia. Dorcas didn't want to be the third wheel, so she asked me to go along with her. It was honestly nothing."
"And the kiss?"
"A dare," Sirius said confidently without so much as a flinch. "We were in that blasted tea shop. Drake dared us to make it look like we belonged there."
James eyed him curiously. It all seemed like a bunch of rubbish, but Sirius was right: they never had a reason to lie to one another before.
"Look," Sirius said, "if I was with Dorcas – or anyone, for that matter – you'd be the first to know. Trust me."
"Fair enough," James said with a nod. He wouldn't push the issue further. Sirius was his best friend and he trusted him. That would have to be good enough.
He reconsidered its meaning in December.
It was the night before students would be leaving for the Christmas holiday when James walked into the sixth-year boys' dormitory to find Sirius packing his trunk. Sirius never went home for Christmas, even now when home was the Potters' place.
"Er, Sirius?" he asked. "What are you doing?"
"Packing. What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Well, yes, I can see that, but for what?"
"I thought I'd leave for the holiday for a change," he answered as he shoved clothes into his trunk without even a slight attempt to organize them. "I've never done it before. Should be interesting."
"You know my parents and I are spending Christmas in France, right?"
"Of course."
"So... we won't be home."
"Yeah, I know."
"Sirius, I asked you a month ago if you wanted to come with us," James said. "You said you didn't want to."
Sirius laughed. "Relax, I'm not expecting to come."
"Okay, so where are you going? As much as my parents adore you, they won't let you spend the entire break in the house by yourself."
"I know. Uncle Alphard invited me to spend Christmas with him last-minute."
"Oh," James said. Alphard was the only family member other than Andromeda Sirius was ever able to tolerate. "That was nice of him."
"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it," Sirius said, closing his trunk with a loud slam. "Ready to head down to dinner? I'm starved."
They, along with Remus, Peter, and the girls from their house enjoyed an extravagant feast before heading back to their dormitories. The next morning, they piled into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express. All seemed normal.
Then they got to the platform.
They shared hugs and best Christmas wishes before departing and taking off in different directions. Marlene ran off with her siblings, Dorcas walked off with Drake and Amelia, and the rest of them found their parents. As James hugged his mum, he couldn't help but longingly watch Lily as she breezed out of the station with her parents and sulking sister.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sirius walking off alone. His uncle was nowhere in sight. Instead, he joined Dorcas, Drake, Amelia, and who James could only assume were Mr. and Mrs. Meadowes. Both Sirius and Amelia smiled and shook the hands of both parents. The group then left the station together, talking happily. Once again, Sirius's arm was around Dorcas's shoulders.
Clearly, their relationship was anything but platonic; James was absolutely certain of that now, regardless of was Sirius repeatedly claimed. Why else would he spend the entire Christmas holiday with her and her family?
He just couldn't figure out why Sirius was so adamant about keeping it all a secret. What was the point? James wasn't angry that Sirius had lied, but he was a bit hurt. Dorcas obviously meant a lot to him, and it was clear that this was more than a passing crush or a brief fling. Why wouldn't he want to share something as wonderful as that? Heaven knew if James was ever able to share something so special with Lily, he'd be screaming it to the world.
The only thing James could think of was that Sirius had never has serious feelings for a girl. He'd gone out with girls and liked them a lot, but he'd never come close to feeling very strongly about one, at least not as far as James knew. Perhaps he'd fallen hard for Dorcas and was worried about it failing. Sirius didn't show it often, but he was a very vulnerable person and got hurt easily. Maybe he thought if less people knew, the less horrible he'd feel if something did go wrong.
But James still wished Sirius had told him.
He shook the thoughts away. Sirius made it quite plain that he didn't want anyone knowing about it, so James decided to respect that. He wouldn't bother him about it again. Surely Sirius would want to talk about it eventually. Maybe he just needed some space.
He grew very concerned about it in January.
James was oddly giddy as he left the library. Professor McGonagall had paired him with Lily for an assignment, and they'd just gotten through a little over two hours of working together. He'd been hoping to walk back to Gryffindor Tower with her, but Lily, of course, had opted to stay behind to read some Muggle novel she was currently engrossed in. Still, he felt like she didn't seem quite as annoyed with him that evening; she'd even laughed at his bad jokes a few times. It appeared she was finally warming up to him, and James couldn't wipe the grin off his face if he tried.
Trust Sirius to take care of that for him.
In an empty corridor on the long route back to Gryffindor Tower, James heard voices up ahead. Sad voices. As he got closer, he could make out the forms of Sirius and Dorcas. Sirius had a pained expression on his face as Dorcas quietly cried.
James hid behind a statue and peered around it slightly. His heart broke at the sight of his two friends. He could only imagine what caused them, two generally stoic people, to get so emotional in a place where anyone could see them at any given moment.
"I don't know what I'm going to do," Dorcas said. "It's hopeless."
"It's not hopeless," Sirius reassured, placing his hands on her shoulders. "It'll be okay."
"How? How could this possibly be okay?" she quietly demanded. "This is what I feared more than anything... I was so careful about it... I did everything I was supposed to do..."
"Dorcas, don't worry. We'll... we'll figure something out."
Dorcas sniffled. "We?"
"Hey," Sirius whispered, gently grabbing her chin and tilting her face up. "Did you honestly think I was going to make you deal with this alone?"
Without a word, Dorcas buried her face into Sirius's chest and he held her tight. Her shoulders shook as she wept, and Sirius soothingly rubbed her back and continuously whispered to her that everything would be alright. After a minute, they began walking toward Gryffindor Tower with his arm around her while she rested her head on his shoulder.
When it was safe to do so, James stepped around the statue and stared and the spot where they just were. What Sirius and Dorcas had been discussing was none of his business – he knew that. He'd sworn he wouldn't pry, and he didn't plan to. But he couldn't help but speculate, and only one thing came to mind.
She's pregnant, James thought. My god, she's pregnant.
Based on what he'd heard, James couldn't come to any other conclusion, and he was worried for them both. They were only in sixth year. What were they going to do? What would Drake and her parents think? Would the two of them be expelled from Hogwarts?
All James knew was that he'd be there for Sirius when he told him. And surely Sirius would feel compelled to tell him now if James's assumption was true. It was only a matter of time.
He got incredibly annoyed with it in February.
Sirius still hadn't told him a thing, but James had witnessed how differently they behaved. They sat together and away from the crowd in the common room to talk more often than ever before.
Dorcas in particular was acting strange. She hardly ate anything at mealtimes and while she did sit with her friends, she distanced herself a little bit, almost as if she wanted to blend in but not participate in conversation. In class, James caught her resting her head on her hand and staring out the window in a trance. She went to bed early most nights, a stark contrast to how she was before Christmas.
It was an frigid evening when James woke up in the middle of the night to find Dorcas in Sirius's bed. They were fast asleep, snuggled up together and tucked beneath several thick blankets. He didn't even remember her coming up there; Sirius must have let her in once they'd all conked off.
Unbelievable, James thought. Could he make this any more obvious?
Girls had slept in the boys' dormitory before; it wasn't common, but it'd happened occasionally, so the fact that Dorcas was there wasn't the problem. What irritated James to no end was that Sirius was still acting like everything was perfectly normal. Did he really expect James – or anyone else, for that matter - to not suspect a thing? Did he really think he was that naïve? And did he honestly believe James wouldn't want to help in any way he could?
That last one was what bothered him more than anything. It hurt.
And Sirius plunged the knife even further when, the very next morning, he said the reason Dorcas had slept in the boys' dormitory that night was because she'd had a fight with Drake over a family matter.
Drake. Fucking Drake. They'd told Drake before they told James.
Screw him, James thought bitterly. When he comes crawling to me for my support, he can piss off.
It made him snap in March.
James never in a million years thought he'd take a swing at Sirius, but one windy day in the middle of the month, he did.
It was a crisp, cloudless evening with little wind when he headed down to the Quidditch pitch for practice; he thought he'd get there early and draw up some plans on the board. Gryffindor had a chance to knock Hufflepuff out of the running for the cup the following weekend, and James knew a win wouldn't easily fall into their hands. Hufflepuff had a very skilled team that year, so he and the rest of the team had agreed a bit of extra practice was essential.
Though James would never admit it, he was actually more concerned with impressing Lily than anything else.
He couldn't believe his eyes when he got around the bend at the bottom of the hill to see Sirius and Natalie Fournier embracing and snogging in the thicket of trees. His hands were dangerously low on her waist. She had one hand lacing its way through his hair as the other tightly gripped his maroon and gold tie. His fingers toyed with the hem of her Ravenclaw jumper.
Sirius quickly pulled away when he saw the gobsmacked James staring at them. Instead of appearing shocked, Sirius merely grinned.
Fucking arrogant prat, James thought.
"Oh, hey, James," Sirius said nonchlantly, while Natalie blushed furiously.
"So much for keeping it hushed for now," she squeaked nervously. "I should probably go."
"Ah, c'mon, don't leave."
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said before kissing him on the cheek. "Bye, James," she added as an afterthought as she scurried off.
Sirius shook his head as watched her walk away, but still smirked.
"She's so shy, that one. I asked her out last week. I still can't believe she said y-"
Before Sirius could finish, he was caught off guard as James roughly shoved him. James himself hadn't even realized what he was doing before it was done. He was beyond furious. How could Sirius do something like that to Dorcas?
"James, what the-"
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Sirius?" James scolded. "What about Dorcas?"
"What about Dorcas?" Sirius retorted. "What are you on about?"
"You know bloody well what! You're screwing around behind her back!"
"What the in the name of Merlin are you talking about? What am I doing that's so bloody awful?"
"All but shagging Natalie in the middle of the fucking woods while you're with Dorcas!"
"With Dorcas? Christ, James, you're not still on about that, are you?"
"God, Sirius, give it up!" James shouted. "I fucking know, alright?"
"Know what?!"
"That the two of you are together! I've seen you! I saw you two sneaking out of Gryffindor Tower one night. I saw the two of you kissing in that stupid tea shop!"
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I already told you, that kiss was-"
"A dare. Yeah, I know. Well, you know what, Sirius? I don't believe a word of it."
"Why not? When have I ever lied to you?"
"Christmas," James answered promptly. "I saw you, Sirius. You didn't leave the platform with your Uncle. You left with Dorcas and her family."
Sirius's face fell. "You saw that?"
"Yeah, I did. I know you and Dorcas are together, Sirius, and I don't know why you bothered trying to hide it. It honestly isn't even that big of a deal. Well, at least it wasn't until you started messing around with Natalie."
"Alright, look," Sirius said, taking a deep breath, "I know this looks bad, but it's honest to God not what you think."
"And you expect me to believe that?" James asked, nearly laughing at the absurdity. "You've been lying to me for months, Sirius! Months!"
"I know, I know, and I'm sorry! But you've got to trust me on this one. Dorcas and I aren't together. We aren't!"
"Tell me, then," James demanded.
"Tell you what?"
"What this sneaking around has been about."
"I... I can't."
"Why?"
Sirius sighed. "I just can't. I'm sorry. You just have to trust me."
"Trust you?" James scoffed. "You're bloody joking, right?"
"You know what? Fine!" Sirius shouted. "I give up! I'm fucking around with Natalie behind Dorcas's back! There, I said it! Is that what you want to hear, Potter? I'm a cheating arse! I'm just as sleazy as they all say I am! I'm an awful person, horrible friend, and-"
Whatever else Sirius was about to say was never heard, because at that very moment, James's fist collided with his nose. He could feel the warm blood spray across his knuckles as he heard a loud crack. Sirius stumbled back and grunted loudly upon the contact, but he didn't fall. He wiped his nose with his sleeve, and the smeared blood on his face made him look especially vicious as he narrowed his eyes and lunged himself forward.
Sirius tackled James to the ground. Neither of them used wands; it was far too personal of a fight for that. They used their fists, their elbows, and their knees, and both boys threw in insults and foul language for good measure. Sirius returned James's earlier favor by giving him a nosebleed far worse than his own.
They ceased their fighting a couple minutes later, standing up at staring at each other in a mix of anger and disbelief.
"You just couldn't let it go, could you?" Sirius snarled. "You just couldn't keep your nose out of it."
"You're damn right I couldn't. Dorcas is my friend!"
"Yeah, and in case you've forgotten, so am I!"
"Were," James corrected. "I'm not friends with liars and cheats."
"Believe what you want, Potter," Sirius angrily relented. "I'm done arguing with you. I don't have to prove anything to you, and I don't owe you a damn thing."
As Sirius took off, James turned in the opposite direction to go back up the hill.
Fuck him, James thought. He lied to me, and to my face, no less! He deserved what he got.
"James, where are you going?" Emmeline asked as she approached him on the hill; she was heading toward the pitch with her broom in one hand and beater's club in the other. "What happened to your face?"
"Practice is canceled!" James shouted as he stormed past her.
It all made sense in April.
James and Sirius had barely spoken since their fight, and the few times they did converse were to spare Remus and Peter of the awkwardness that would likely ensue if they didn't. It felt childish and even a little pathetic, but James didn't care. He was still angry with Sirius. Nothing upset him more than dishonesty; in his opinion, it was the ultimate stab in the back.
He was working alone in the library late one evening when Sirius approached his table in the back. James looked up at him with cold eyes, but said nothing.
"Hey," Sirius said.
"Hey."
"What are you working on?"
"None of your damn business." When Sirius snorted quietly, James asked, "what's so funny?"
"You're not really in a position to be pulling the 'none of your business' routine."
James scowled. "Sod off, Black. I'm working."
He promptly returned to his essay, huffing in annoyance when he heard the chair across from him move. Sirius plopped down, and James reluctantly looked up and tossed his quill down.
"Christ, can't you take a hint?" he asked.
"Oh, come off it, James. This is fucking ridiculous, don't you think?"
"Maybe so, but you lied to me. I, for one, think that's ridiculous, as you say."
"I didn't lie to you! Honestly!"
"Right. I was hallucinating that day on the platform," James mumbled. "I just imagined that you were walking off with Dorcas."
"Alright, fine, I'll give you that one, but it was for a good reason. The rest was all true. There isn't and never was anything going on between Dorcas and I. Not in the way you think, anyway."
"Then would you mind explaining what all the sneaking around was for? Madam Puddifoot's? Dorcas sobbing her eyes out in the corridor one night?"
"Oh. Saw that, too, did you?"
"Yes. I was worried about the two of you, Sirius," James confessed. "I thought she was pregnant or something!"
"What?" Sirius exclaimed with a hint of laughter. "What the hell made you jump to that conclusion?"
"Keep your voice down!"
"Oh, relax, it's nearly midnight. We're the only two in here."
"Fair enough. And to answer your question, what was I supposed to think? All the secrecy, the denial, the both of you so distraught that night... what else could it have been?"
Sirius shrugged. "It's a long story."
"And I've been waiting an awfully long time to hear it. No lies this time?"
"No lies," he confirmed. He took a deep breath, then began. "I've been helping Dorcas out. She... well, Dorcas likes girls."
"Okay?" James was confused. "No offense, but I fail to see how you could help with that. And why the hell was she kissing you and sleeping in your bed if she-"
"Will you shut up and let me talk?" Sirius scolded.
"Sorry. I just don't see what the problem is."
"There isn't one, really – not to us, at least. It's her family. They're a bit pigheaded and against that sort of thing."
"I don't see why."
"Neither do I, but that's beside the point. Anyway, around this time last year, Dorcas started seeing a girl. Chrissy Newton. Know her?"
"Slytherin, fifth-year?"
"Yeah. The two of them were exchanging letters all summer, until Drake found one. He lectured her about it, said what she was doing was disgusting and unnatural and a bunch of other bollocks. He threatened to tell their parents if she didn't get her act together."
"What an arse."
"You're telling me. To make matters worse, it wasn't enough for Dorcas to simply say she'd end things with Chrissy. Drake wanted to see it."
James nodded in understanding. "And that's where you came in."
"Exactly. When you saw us in Madam Puddifoot's that day, Dorcas was formally introducing me to Drake as her 'boyfriend.' We played it up a bit to convince him. I suppose you merely happened to walk by at the wrong time."
"So why wasn't that enough?" James queried. "Why did you have to take it as far as going home with her for Christmas?"
"Well, admittedly, that wasn't part of the plan," Sirius said. "But Drake was bringing Amelia, and once her parents learned about Dorcas and I, they insisted that I come along, too. Dorcas assured me it wouldn't be a big deal if I didn't, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to get away from Hogwarts for a change. Thought it might be fun, and it was. At first, anyway."
"Go on," James said, urging him to continue after he paused for a few moments.
"Things went completely downhill. It's my fault, really," Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Everything was going fine until I went ahead and opened my big fucking mouth. Dorcas and I were hanging out in her room a couple of days after Christmas, just talking. I was telling her about Natalie and how I was thinking of asking her out and all that, but being the idiots we were, we left the door open. Drake heard everything. He stormed in throwing an absolute fit, demanding to know what was really going on. Dorcas confessed that she'd lied, and he bolted downstairs to tell her parents."
"Oh, no. What happened?"
"It was awful... James, it was so awful. They didn't believe Drake at first. They asked Dorcas about it. 'Chrissy's just a friend from school, right? Sirius is your boyfriend, isn't he?' But Dorcas didn't lie. She told them everything, said she couldn't help the way she was and begged them not to hate her. Her mother just cried, but her father screamed at her. He called her the foulest names you could ever imagine. He went on about she'd shamed the family and that she was no daughter of his. James, the fucking tosser took a framed baby picture of her off the mantle and threw it in the rubbish bin right in front of her face."
Sirius's eyes were teary as he recounted the tale of what happened at Dorcas's house, and James could feel that the same was true for him. How could any parent do that to their own child, especially to one as sweet and wonderful as Dorcas? It didn't make any sense. She wasn't doing anything wrong. And even if she was, aren't parents supposed to love their children no matter what?
"We grabbed our things and left," Sirius continued after a few moment of silence. "As we were walking away from the house, her father shouted out the window at her to never come back."
"Where did you go?"
"Leaky Cauldron. We had a little bit of money with us, thank Merlin, so we stayed there until it was time to come back to school."
"My God," James murmured, shoulders slumping. No wonder she'd been crying that night in the corridor. The poor girl hadn't just been kicked out of her house, but kicked out of her own family. He suddenly knew why she'd confided in Sirius. They had more in common than he'd originally thought. Although Sirius had left Grimmauld Place on his own accord, he'd been shunned by his family since the day the Sorting Hat placed him in Gryffindor.
"She tried to talk about it with Drake a couple months ago," Sirius said, "but he wouldn't have it. Wouldn't even say a word to her, the prat."
"Unbelievable," James said, shaking his head.
"Yeah."
"If you don't mind me asking, though, what was all the sneaking around for? You and Dorcas?"
"Ah, well," Sirius said with a smile, "I was sneaking her out to see Chrissy."
"You mean they're still together?"
"Of course they're still bloody together. Why wouldn't they be?"
"I don't know. I guess I just assumed that you posing as her girlfriend's boyfriend might tick her off a bit."
"Nah. It got Drake off their backs, so she was fine with it. Aside from Madam Puddifoot's, it's not like we ever did anything out of the ordinary. But they are still keeping things a secret from most people – for now, anyway. They're not ready for the entire school to know just yet. So just keep it that way, yeah?"
"Of course," James confirmed with a nod. "But why now? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Sirius shrugged. "She didn't even want me to know at first; I guessed. She made me swear to keep it a secret so Drake wouldn't find out somehow."
"But even after Drake found out," James said, "I could have helped. You know I would have done anything I could, right?"
"Yeah, I know, but it wasn't my secret to share. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to say anything until Dorcas said it was okay."
"Does she know you're telling me now?"
Sirius nodded. "Once she found out we were fighting over this, she told me to fix things straight away. Said we were being obnoxious. I suppose she had a point."
James laughed. "Yeah. Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I was acting like a right foul git. I should have left it alone."
Sirius shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I probably should have told you something, even if it was small."
"No," James retorted. "It was none of my business. You told me to leave it be and I should've respected that. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Let's just not let it happen again, yeah?"
"Deal."
Somehow, in that moment, James knew that this wouldn't be the last time either he or Sirius had to keep something from the other. They may have been best friends, but the fact was they were getting older, and things were changing. They weren't always going to be able to share every last detail of their lives, but the most important thing was they'd be there for one another. James was certain that's the one thing they'd never outgrow.
It was revealed in May.
James, Emmeline, and the rest of the Gryffindor team raised their arms and the cup in victory as a cheering crowd of maroon and gold hoisted them into the air and paraded them around the pitch. Even the Ravenclaws, despite their loss, joined in with the applause. The victor hadn't been Slytherin; that was really all that mattered to the rest of Hogwarts.
It wasn't all that mattered to James, however. From atop the shoulders of a couple of seventh-years, he could see the group of people he wanted to celebrate with the most. They were all on the edge of the pitch, smiling and waiting for him and Emmeline. Sirius was beaming. Marlene and Mary were waving a scarlet, glittery banner they'd made. Remus and Peter were shouting something, though he couldn't quite tell what it was. And right in the middle of them all, clapping and smiling the sweetest smile in the world, was Lily.
He caught Emmeline's eye and jerked his head toward their friends, and she nodded. They somehow managed to get to the ground, then proceeded to fight their way through the hoard of people who all wanted to give them hugs, high-fives, and gleeful punches on the shoulder.
"Congrats, mate!" Sirius chanted as James approached him. "Excellent match!"
"That last score you made was amazing!" Peter exclaimed in delight. "I couldn't believe you got it from that far!"
"Emmy, that was one hell of a hit on Fahey. He's lucky he isn't dead!" Marlene laughed.
"Well done, both of you," Lily finally said. James looked at her, pleasantly surprised to see a coy grin on her face. Before he knew it, she pulled him into a quick hug. In only lasted a moment before she moved on to embrace Emmeline, but it made James feel a thousand times more victorious than winning the cup did.
The eight of them chatted excitedly about the match, having to shout occasionally over the Gryffindor chants that were still taking over the pitch. After a few minutes, a thought occurred to James: eight. One of them was missing.
"Hey," he said quietly, nudging Sirius. "Where's Dorcas?"
"She went to -" he stopped suddenly, pointing behind him. "Oh, there she is."
James turned around, and the sight before him warmed his heart and brought a grin to his face. Dorcas was walking toward them, fingers entwined with Chrissy Newton's.
"Hi," she said to them all. She sounded slightly nervous. "Everyone, this is Chrissy. My – my girlfriend."
"Why, hello there, Chrissy," Sirius said cheekily. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."
"Hi, I'm James," James said with a smile, extending a hand to Chrissy. "Lovely to meet you."
"I'm Remus."
"Marlene."
"Lily."
As everyone introduced themselves to Chrissy and no one thought twice about it, James saw Dorcas relax. He knew she'd never had a reason to be worried about anyone thinking badly of her, but after hearing how terrible her parents and brother were, he understood the apprehension. He knew how lucky all of them had been to find each other and be sorted into the same house six years ago. James was certain they couldn't have put together a better group of friends if they tried.
"Dorcas," Chrissy said suddenly, pointing over her shoulder. They all turned to see Drake looking on in disgust. Sirius scowled, but Dorcas merely shrugged her shoulders.
"Let him look," she said. "Who cares?"
And with that, Dorcas kissed Chrissy right out in the open, in front of whoever happened to be looking at the time. No one but Drake so much as batted an eyelash; even Amelia didn't seem phased.
The celebration that ensued in Gryffindor Tower that evening was better than ever before. Traditionally, it was the seventh-years who threw the parties, but the sixth-years took the reigns on that particular night. Marlene and Mary decorated. Lily teamed up with Emmeline and Dorcas to sneak food from the kitchens. The Marauders snuck into Hogsmeade to smuggle in some drinks. Music played, confetti was thrown, and people continued their victory chants well into the early hours of the morning.
Not long before people began heading up to bed, James heavily dropped down beside Sirius on one of the couches. Sirius was eyeing the group of five girls across the way. Dorcas was telling Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, and Mary some sort of story, presumably about Chrissy, and they were all giggling and chatting about it. It was nice to see Dorcas finally be able to discuss such and important part of her life. She didn't need Drake or her parents; she had all of them, and James couldn't help but smile.
When Dorcas eventually snuck out to meet Chrissy, the group of girls dispersed to talk to other friends before bed. As James studied Sirius's face, he smirked as he noticed his friend's eyes following a certain young lady.
"So," he began, "everything alright with you and Natalie?"
"Of course," Sirius responded, not altering his gaze. "Why wouldn't they be?"
"Well, I couldn't help but notice the way you're staring at Marlene."
"What?" Sirius exclaimed, bewildered. "No! No, no, no. No way. I'm not going down this road with you again, James."
"Sirius, you've been staring at her for a good ten minutes, and you keep sneaking glances at her bum," James sniggered. "Just admit you fancy her."
"I don't like Marlene, honestly. Really. No. I like Natalie, not Marlene. That'd just be weird. No. We're friends. No way."
Sirius's repetitive denial and stuttering, flustered response was all James needed to know, and he allowed a smug, satisfied grin to remain on his face. He'd always known Sirius would fall for Marlene. It had only been a matter of time.
The question was when he'd admit it, but James knew without a doubt he'd be the first one Sirius would tell.
And in June, as the group of sixth-years shared a compartment on their way home for their last summer as Hogwarts students, James knew things were changing, but for the better.
Dorcas was spending the summer with the Vances. Sirius and Marlene kept gazing at each other when the other wasn't looking. Mary and Peter were holding hands. Remus was talking excitedly about his upcoming voyage to Italy, his first ever trip abroad.
Meanwhile, when James smiled at Lily, she smiled back. They weren't vindictive smiles, either, but genuine ones. Maybe growing up wouldn't have to be so bad after all.
In June, everything felt alright.
In June, everything was alright.
Author's Note: This was written for two challenges on the HPFC forum: ClaireBear1982's Marauders-Era Challenge and Mein Liebling's Longest One-shot Competition. Many thanks to the hosts of both of these challenges for giving me a reason to write this story; it's been sitting in the back of my head for a long time.
I've been gifted a stunningly beautiful banner for this story! The link to it can be found on my profile page. I promise it's safe to click, and you should definitely give it a look!
While this isn't a song fic, the story's title was borrowed from the song of the same name by The Beatles. I'm sure you all knew that, but due credit must be given nonetheless. :D
Thanks for reading! :)