Author's Note: Hi there, long time no see! I've returned after a number of long months with a random short that came to me one day while playing Bully of course. This here is about the preppies love for eggs! Surely I'm not the only one who's noticed that they use eggs far more often than everybody else in the game does. This is my first shot at pure humor so don't grill me too hard! (P.S. For those of you who follow me you can check my profile page to find out when I'll be updating and to see what I have coming up!)

Title: Eggs

Characters: The Greasers and The Preps

Word Count: Approx 2,397 (5pgs)

Preppies love eggs, you could tell by how often they used them in their fights, regardless of where they were and what was going on they always seemed to have an endless supply of eggs handy. They could be casually roaming the streets, on their front lawn fetching the morning paper, in class, or even in the bathroom of all places! No matter the location of their whereabouts the split second violence erupted they were all suddenly armed with a never ending supply of chicken abortions.

It was strange when one thought about it, none of the preps were ever seen carrying around large quantities of eggs and surely they didn't keep them in their pockets or anything as everyone knows that eggs are extremely fragile and break very easily! What, did they pull them out of their asses?! Probably so being that at the first indicator of violence any one of them could be seen armed and ready to fire!

The greasers had been the first ones to find out about this and they of course found out the hard way. They had shown up in the vale one day with every intention of laying the smack down, it wasn't the first time they had made a trip there and it most certainly wouldn't be the last. They didn't sneak in either, they simply hopped on their heavily souped up bikes and peddled over to the residential area as if they were out for a typical after school joy ride. Some of them had weapons which consisted of yard sticks and two by fours, but being armed wasn't necessary, it was only done to make one seem hardcore even if they really weren't. Their arrival was no surprise to the preps, they'd been expecting them, so they waited for the greasers to show up out in the open and for all to see.

The meeting spot or the battlefield rather was at the circle near the edge of the neighborhood. The greasers rode up to the area screeching to a halt on their rides only to quickly hop off and waste no time launching their attack on the rich kids, all the while spewing battle cries and verbal insults.

Not one of them managed to get a single hit in before the preppies began firing a hail storm of eggs! To say that their weapons of choice surprised the greasers would be an understatement; the throwbacks from the 1950's were completely caught off guard by the least likely of defense mechanisms! Upon being hit with the first wave of grenade like objects the greasers still had no intention of retreating or halting in their advances. They continued with their original plan and several of them who didn't slip and fall in the grass or on the cobblestone managed to penetrate the preps defenses and actually land a few blows.

However, it was entirely too late!

Barely able to keep their footing and with snot like substances swinging from their bodies the greasers who previously had the upper hand in the ongoing war against the preps were forced to fall back and retreat. Johnny of course was the one to give the order and not a single one of his followers protested his decision or attempted to press on. Struggling to mount their bikes they began to make a hasty retreat back to New Coventry.

The paupers thought that once they fled the scene the battle would end there but they were all dealt a nasty dose of reality when they peddled down the street only to find that they were still being assaulted with a barrage of eggs!

The over fortunate numbskulls, clearly not satisfied with their swift victory over their sworn enemies had given chase to the greasers. The kids from the wrong side of the tracks were stunned to glance behind themselves and catch sight of a small herd of Aquaberry cruisers in hot pursuit!

The grease monkeys would have peddled much faster but the yolk from the eggs made it difficult to maintain a grip on their bikes. As a result their feet kept slipping from the peddles thus causing them to slow down and one by one each member of the greasers was taken out!

Vance was the first to go, so upset with his perfect hair being smothered in egg yolk he failed to focus all of his attention on trying to get back to New Coventry. It was an egg to the back of his head that did him in; upon impact he reached up and tried to scrape the pieces of egg shell from his hair only to swerve sideways and crash right into a mailbox!

None of the greasers had even realized they'd lost one of their own; they were all too caught up in trying to escape. Lefty was the second one to be taken out, the back and top of his head had been struck with so many eggs that the yolk had ran from his hair down into his face. The thick yellow orbs covered his eyes rendering him temporarily blind and he smashed right into the brick wall surrounding 'Happy Endings Retirement Home' bringing his ride to a less than happy end.

Lucky was the third unlucky member to suffer a similar fate to his fallen comrades. It wasn't really the barrage of eggs that did him in though; it was to be blunt a freak accident! After passing the retirement home and heading towards the bridge that led into 'Old Bullworth Town' a random dog just so happened to wander out into the street as the gang was flying by and right into Lucky's path. Had he have hit the dog he most certainly would have crashed, had he have swerved to the left he would have sideswiped Ricky and definitely ended up crashing along with him. The only option he had no choice but to choose was to swerve to the right and up on the sidewalk. He did so, and as his front tire hit the curb he was simultaneously struck from behind by a total of four eggs.

Apparently Lucky's luck had run out.

The impact from the eggs combined with the jolt of hitting the curb caused him to lose control of his bike. Instead of swerving back into the street to continue escaping with his friends he kept right, unfortunately they were just passing the intersection that led into the business area of the vale. Lucky along with his bike was sent flying into the shrubs and bushes that lined the wooden fence of the conjoining street bringing his luck to an end.

By this point Hal had begun to notice that several of their friends were missing from the group yet all the rich shits were still pursuing them. However, Hal failed to realize that the missing friends had all crashed at some point during their retreat and instead mistook their absence for them veering off course and taking different paths back to New Coventry.

Due to his excess weight he was starting to grow tired and he knew he couldn't keep up with the others much longer; he needed to bail so that he could rest. As they came across the bridge near the gas station Hal knew that the others were going to continue to follow Johnny and keep straight until they were forced to turn. Still believing that the missing members had bailed Hal decided that he would do the same.

Being on the left side of the street he swerved his bike to the right, sadly though he failed to follow one of the golden rules of the road, which was making sure it was clear to change lanes. As a result of his failure to double check he ended up swerving his bike and all 300lbs of himself right into Norton! The two behemoths instantly went rolling off course and crashed right into one of the gas pumps at the store landing in a crumpled heap. Had they have been driving cars there would have been an explosion, but thankfully their self-propelled two wheeled crash only resulted in flesh wounds and broken bones.

Mere yards passed the accident sight of Norton and Hal; Ricky just so happened to suffer a catastrophic blowout at the worst possible time. His front tire shredded to pieces as if he had rolled over spike strips, the action not only startled the greaser but it distracted him as well. Just as they approached the turn at the end of the street he was so focused on the tire that he didn't realize he would need to turn soon if he intended to escape.

Peanut who was to his left had been doing just fine so far but the turn that needed to be made was a right turn. As he went to make that right turn Ricky unintentionally kept straight causing the other boy to T-bone him. They both ended up crashing through the front of the store located on the corner sending their bodies, pieces of glass and bikes parts flying in all directions and customers who'd been in the building scrambling for safety.

And then there was one…

With no other targets left to fire at, every single one of the tailor-made asshats began to pummel Johnny Vincent with eggs as they continued to pursue him. You'd think that once they had driven the peasants off their fancy turf they would have ceased fire, but simply chasing them away clearly wasn't good enough.

The spoiled brats refused to stop until they had taken every single one of the grease balls out, so they kept hot on their tails leaving a trail of yolk and shells in their wake that littered the streets all the way from the vale and to the industrial park if they saw fit.

So far Johnny had done well in his attempt at escaping, he was almost to his home land and he knew that if he could make it there he would be able to evade the trust fund fairies. He rounded the corner which led to the underpass; he was so close to his goal that he could literally taste it!

With the muscles in his legs now starting to burn Johnny still managed to pick up his pace significantly, he peddled as fast as he could trying his hardest not to let the eggs he was being pelted with knock him off his route. He flew under the underpass and came out on the other side into his neighborhood, he had made it!

But then… out of nowhere a little old lady dressed in blue began to make her way out into the street… right into Johnny's path.

She didn't even look both ways before she began to cross but just stepped out as if cars didn't even exist. Jerking his handlebars to the right Johnny just barely managed to avoid slamming into the old idiot. The violent turn combined with his speed and the egg yolk both he and his bike were covered in caused him to lose his balance. He crashed to the ground and skidded across the pavement until he finally came to a stop. Johnny had landed flat on his back, his bike was now a crumpled mess of partially twisted metal just a few yards away.

For a brief moment nothing happened, Johnny laid there repeatedly drifting in and out of consciousness. During the short periods of time he was aware of what planet he was on he could hear the approaching bikes of his enemies and the next thing he knew he was once again being pelted with eggs. The assault of poultry product continued for a few seconds before Johnny heard Derby's voice.

"Hold your fire!"

Despite his order the storm of eggs continued,

"I SAID HOLD YOUR BLOODY FIRE!"

Silence

It took Johnny a few moments to open his eyes and once he did he ended up wishing he hadn't! Looking up he found himself surrounded by a group of Aquaberry clad preps all staring down at him with amused looks on their faces. Bif, Tad, Gord, Bryce, Justin, Chad, Parker and of course Derby himself was there, the entire gang with the exception of Pinky.

Derby was saying something but his words were lost as most of Johnny's senses were still in the process of fading in and out of commission courtesy of the crash he'd been a victim of. The only thing the defeated Greaser King could do was lay there and watch as Derby retrieved a single egg seemingly from nowhere.

Tapping it against his watch he cracked it and split it open over Johnny's face as if he were adding an ingredient to a mixture. At this moment Johnny's hearing finally kicked back in, all the preps were laughing hysterically at what Derby had just done to him. Johnny was far too disoriented to be even the slightest bit embarrassed or angry by the situation. The only thought he could process at that very moment was one single fleeting reminder that would stick with him for years to come,

'Preppies Love Eggs…'

A few moments later all the preps began to hop on their bikes and peddle away, their laughter fading off into the distance as they left Johnny Vincent lying on the ground in the middle of the street with egg on his face.

Author's note: Damn that Miss Abby! I can't tell you how many times I've been playing and she just strolled out in front of me! Not the funniest thing in the world but I enjoyed writing it and I hope it was a good read for someone out there! Poor Johnny and the rest of the greasers too! XD

Thanks for reading!

-Akemat