Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock, but I can dream, my friends, I can dream.

A/N: Dedicated to TheGameMrsHudsonIsAfoot as a very late birthday gift!

Conversation format, Sherlock is in italics to avoid confusion

"Why, Sherlock, why does this keep happening to us?"

"Best not to ask those sorts of questions. Can you see anything?"

"You mean can I suddenly see through the pitch black of this barn, and have found an escape route, since the last time you asked?"

" . . . "

"No, Sherlock, I haven't. Can you see anything?"

"Of course not, but I do believe that I've almost got these cuffs picked."

"Finally. I swear this is the last time I come to the countryside with you. Do you realise that normal people can go on holiday without being kidnapped by country singers?"

"They're not country singers, they're burglars - the singing is just a ruse - and do you really think this is what I want? All I wanted to do was learn about bee keeping then get out of this godforsaken place. I can not help the fact that the police here see but do not observe!"

"Well they may have been a bit more cooperative if you didn't pick their pockets to 'prove a point.' We were lucky they didn't lock us up."

"I returned everything. I don't understand what the problem is."

"Of course not."

" . . . "

" . . . "

" . . . "

"What the heck was that cover story about before?"

"John, I'm trying to concentrate - "

"You introduced us as cattle rustlers - do people even do that anymore?"

"Do what?"

"Cattle rustling."

"Yes, it's still quite prominent in many areas of the world."

"Oh. Why did we need a cover story anyway."

"These people are ruthless, if they knew who we were they'd have killed us immediately. At least this way there's a chance they will offer us a position with them."

" . . . "

"John?"

"And why the hell did you introduce me as 'The Straight Shootin' Sidekick?' "

" . . . "

"Sherlock? Sidekick, really?"

"I did say you were straight shooting, if that's any consolation."

"Sure, Mr Sherlock 'Lightening Lasso' Holmes, but you can make your own tea when we get home. Have you finished picking these cuffs yet, I think I hear them coming."

"Just on the last tumble . . . and done."

"About time. I'll take the ones on the left, you take the ones on the right?"

"Okay, I'll jump them from here."

"I'll go here . . . and Sherlock?"

"Yes?"

"This is the last time we use the 'we met as castle rustlers working the range' cover. Okay?"

"But, John! It was for a case!"