And here I am. Yet again. What is my life?

Get ready for some angst y'all. This was intended to be smut filled (just... filth) entry but then I'd be violating just about ALL of FF's guidelines so you're just going to have to use your imaginations. I know you can do it.

But all warning bell warnings still apply. Suggestive themes, not-so-suggestive themes, language, content.

Erza stretched and grinned; feeling rejuvenated after a good nights sleep. Still drowsy, she slipped away from the bed without waking Gray and awkwardly padded to the bathroom. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and finally got a glimpse of her reflection. "Oh. My. God. Oh my god. Ohmygod! Gray! Gray! GRAY!"
Gray came charging into the bathroom frantically, "what is it? What's wrong?" His jaw dropped when he looked at her, "Er-Erza? Wha-what happened?"
"I'm a man!"
"Y-yes. I can see- why a-are you a man?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't be freaking out! What the hell happened to me?!"
Gray approached her, hands up to calm her, "okay, Erza, Erza, look at me. It's okay. We'll be okay. We'll get dressed and go to Porlyuscia. She'll figure it out."
"Yes. Okay. Porlyusica. Good."
"Good."
"I don't think my clothes are going to fit me."
"Right. Come on. You can wear mine, okay?"
She nodded despondently and followed him back to the room. She took the clothes he offered her but realized that- "Gray? I'm... I have a situation..." Her eyes darted embarrassingly to her crotch.
Gray scratched the back of his head knowing full well of the situation she spoke of, "right. Uh, why don't you take a shower then? I'll wait out here for you, okay?" Again, she nodded despondently but did as suggested.

After her shower, they headed off to Porlyusica's. "Wh- Scarlet? What on earth happened to you?" Her words may have sounded like concern, but her tone was anything but. It was more like indifference than anything else.
Gray took the lead as Erza still seemed to be in shock, "that's what we were hoping you'd tell us, Porlyusica-san." She grunted in displeasure but nodded for them to come in. "Tell me what you know."
Erza, having finally shaken out of her reverie, explained, "I just woke up like this. It's clearly a spell but when or where or who cast it, I can't begin to tell you."
"What did you do last night?"
"We went to a magic show."
At Porlyusica's incredulous look, Gray explained, "it was a pull-a-bunny-out-of-a-hat-magic-show not a let-me-show-off-my-powers-magic-show."
Porlyusica looked surprisingly interested now. "I'll take some blood. Do some research. I'll need help though."
"Great. What can we do?"
"No, not your help. You'll just get in the way. Get the smart one. The one that reads a lot."
"Levy?"
"Yes. Her. And the other one. The one with the celestial spirits."
"Lucy."
"Yes. I'll require their help. Now go."

The two quickly made off to the guild. As they walked through, the chattering quieted as everyone's curiosity got the better of them. "Good morning, Gray. Is this a new recruit?" Mira looked with interest at the red headed male. Strangely, he looked somewhat familiar to her. "What? No, Mira, it's Erza."
"Oh!" Mira gasped, "what happened?"
"Magic happened. What else? Is Levy around? And Lucy?"
"Upstairs."
Gray nodded, "all right, thanks. I'll go get them. Be right back."

Erza sat quietly at the bar; staring blankly at the bottles that lined the shelves behind Mira. "Erza? Are you okay?"
She finally looked at Mira, having faintly heard her concern, "I'm fine, Mira, I just- what if I-? Would-?" She couldn't bring herself to voice the rest of her thoughts. Gray returned shortly with the two girls.
"Gray explained what happened," Lucy embraced her friend, knowing she must be freaked out by all of this. "Don't worry, we'll reverse this and you'll be back to your old self again. I promise."
Erza, not wanting to worry her cheerful friend, smiled faintly as her reassurance.

The four arrived at Porlyusica's and she quickly put them to work. "McGarden, with me." They followed her down to a large cavernous room filled with books and manuscripts. "I need you to look over these volumes. Find anything that mentions a gender/body swap of any kind; even in passing. Heartfilia, your key, Crux, will he be able to find information on something like this?"
"Well, usually, he only has information about celestial spirits and their mages. But, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try."
Porlyusica nodded curtly, "do it. And then help McGarden with the research." She turned to Erza and Gray, "this magic show; where was it?"
"The town square."
She nodded curtly, "Let's draw some blood; see if it was anything you ingested. Then I'll go to the town square and see if I can detect any remnants of magic that could have caused this."
"Okay, and what should we do?" Gray asked curiously.
"I already told you: nothing. You'll get in the way. Just go home. We'll find you if we find something."
"You can't seriously expect me to just sit at home and do nothing!" Erza exploded in a panic. "As a matter of fact, I do. Now go. I have work to do."
"But-"
Gray lightly touched her shoulder, "come on, Erza, she probably right: we will get in the way. You know how impatient we can get. We'll just end up getting frustrated when we don't get the answers we're looking for fast enough. We'll go home and wait, okay?"
Erza nodded reluctantly knowing he was right but still wanted to do something. She hated relying on others but in this one instance, it doesn't seem like she had much of a choice. The first five minutes of research, she'd throw a tantrum or destroy something if the books didn't tell her anything she wanted to know.

She trailed mindlessly alongside Gray. All morning she had been acting strange. She didn't look at him, all questions were met with a simple one word answer, and she shied away from his touch. He was pretty sure she wasn't even aware that she was doing it but it frustrated him that she kept pushing him away no matter how unconsciously.
Finally had enough, he stopped walking, "Erza, stop." When she did, he approached her. Wanting her to look at him, he touched her cheek but she again pulled away. Dejected, he allowed his arm to fall to his side, "it's all right, Erza. There's no reason to be so worried. We have three of the smartest people helping us. They'll figure it out."
"What if they don't?" She finally lifted her head to look at him, "what if I stay like this?"
"You won't. You-"
"You don't know that!" She exploded. She looked away and quietly restated, "You don't know that. I could stay like this and-"
"And what? Erza, what is it that's gotten you so worked up?"
"And you'd leave. You wouldn't want me anymore," she finished in a low whisper.

He swallowed hard. So that's what was eating at her. "You wouldn't even touch me this morning."
"That's what this is about? Because I wouldn't join you in the shower? You were in shock! You just woke up to find that the body you woke up to for the past 23 years isn't the body you're currently inhabiting! I wanted to give you some space; some time to adjust. You're the one that refuses to look at me! You push me away every time I try to touch you." She broke their gaze and swallowed roughly.
"Do you think so little of me? That I'm that shallow?"
"No, of course not! I just-"
Ignoring her, he continued, "That I would forget everything that makes you you? That I would forget all the things I adore about you because you suddenly have a penis?"
"I just thought that if I stay like this... That you would... Because people would..."
"People? You mean people outside of me and you? People that have absolutely zero bearing on how I feel about you? That's what you're worried about? People?" he asked with disdain. "Since when do you care about what other people think?"
"I don't! But I thought that maybe you-"
His anger suddenly dissipated. "Would. So you do think that little of me. You thought that I'd be disgusted with you. Because if you stayed in this form, we'd be two men in a relationship." He looked away in frustration and then quickly turned to look at her again, "what if it had been me?"
"What?"
"This morning. What if I had been the one to wake up this morning and I was a woman? Would you walk away from me? Is that why you're worried? Because it's something that you would do?"
"What? No, I would never-"
"Then why? Why would you- how could you ever think I would be capable of doing that to you?"
Her voice broke as a choked sob ripped from her throat, "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm..."
His frustration dissipated at her anguish, "no, I'm the one that's sorry. I was being harsh. You didn't deserve that. I shouldn't have- it's not your fault. I shouldn't have jumped on you like that. You have your insecurities and I have mine."
She looked at him; eyes watery and questioning, "I sometimes think you're too good for me. That I don't deserve you. That one day, you'd realize that and just... walk away. Or that you'd realize that you do want to be with Jellal and I'd be...discarded."
"I wouldn't! I would never-"
"I know. I believe you. But even if it did, you can be damn sure that I'm not giving up without a fight. So don't you give up without a fight, you hear me?"
She sniffled loudly and nodded, "I sometimes think you're too good for me too."
"You're crazy."
"Probably. I'm with you, aren't I?"
"That's my girl. They'll figure it out. If they can't then we will. And if we can't, then we'll deal with it then." She wiped her nose and nodded.

He grunted disappointingly, "fuck, this is not how I wanted to do this."
"Do what?"
He took her hands into his and kissed her palm then looked into her eyes, "Erza, I love you." Her eyes widened at his confession and gasped. "I'm not saying this to make you feel better or to placate you. I would never do that. I'm saying it because I mean it. I love everything you are. I fell in love with Erza Scarlet, the person. Not Erza Scarlet, the body. Now, I'd be lying if I said I'm not fond of said body, but that just secondary. I love the insides: from eyeballs to entrails." For the first time that morning, she genuinely smiled. "Those parts of you that I fell in love with, didn't change just because your outsides did. So even if you do stay in this form, I'm not going to stop loving you. And if I need to, I will happily spend the rest of my natural life proving that to you."
"I lo-"
"I didn't say it because I wanted to hear it in return."
"I know. I'm saying it because I do. I love you, Gray."

He smiled at her brilliantly and yanked her into his arms and kissed her; eliminating all doubts of how he really felt about her. It escalated quickly but once Erza remembered where they were, she broke away, "Here probably isn't the right time."
"No, you're right." He took her hand and started walking back toward town, "Now, all this time, you were worrying about how I feel about the change but what about you? How do you feel about all this?"
"It's strange. I feel so awkward. Like I'm always tripping over my feet. I miss my body. I miss my breasts! But as far as the male form goes, this one isn't too shabby. I'm also kind of curious as to what it's like to be a guy; to be you." At his look, she rolled her eyes, "not like that!" Another look and she amended, "not just that."
"Come on, let's go home. You can find out what it's like to for me."
"Gray!"
"What? We'll be walking through town. You can see what being a dude is like. Try not to trip over your feet though, okay?"
"Oh, shut up."

He woke up sore and aching. It had been a while since they were that vigorous in their love making. Could have been worse though: like Erza, he was really glad he got a new couch last week. He scratched his chest when he noticed something rather strange. "Huh. I meant it as a hypothetical but..." He shook Erza awake, "Gray? What is- oh! You're a lady."
"Yeah, I am." She lifted the covers only to discover that "I still have a penis."
"Yeah, you do."
"We need to let Porlyusica and the rest know." She was shuffling out of bed looking for clean clothes to wear when she noticed that he was still in bed. "Gray? Why are you fondling yourself?"
He looked up at her and with a pout said, "yours are bigger than mine."
"Ar-are you serious? You're comparing breast sizes? How could you even tell? There's nothing to compare right now."
"Pft. I've had my hands on you so often, of course I can tell."
"Unbelievable," she muttered. "We didn't compare dick sizes."
"Well, I'm bigger so I didn't say anything."
She rolled her eyes in aggravation, "Bigger isn't always better. You'll find that out soon enough. Now get dressed!" She chucked some clothes at his head.
He tilted his head; eyes still trained on her, "Are you hard?"
"What? S-shut up!"
"Do you want to fuck before we go?"
"Gray!"
"What? I'm curious as to what it's like! You're allowed to be curious but I'm not? That's hardly fair."
"We'll explore your curiosity after. Now, get dressed!"
He grumbled in disappointment, "fine."

Porlyusica opened the door in irritation, "oh, it's you two again. Fullbuster? You're-"
"Yep. I'm a lady now."
"When did this happen?"
"I dunno. I was already like this when I woke up from my nap."
"Gray?"
"Hey, Luce, Levy" the two gender bent mages greeted their friends.
"Wow, Gray. You make a very pretty girl."
"Thanks, I thought so too. Erza here, doesn't agree with me."
Erza rolled her eyes, "I don't see anyone telling me I make a very handsome guy," she muttered darkly.
"That's because it's a given," Gray explained.
"But you do make a very handsome guy, Erza!" Lucy exclaimed cheerily.

Erza looked like she was back to her non-mopey self. The Erza-self she's been since she and Gray started dating. Well, the Erza-self she thinks Erza's been since she found out they were dating. It was probably just her looking too much into things as usual. She had wanted to compliment her earlier but wasn't sure if it would have been welcomed. She was glad whatever issues they had this morning was resolved and that they both looked lively and happy again.

"So, any news?"
"Well, there are several instances about people being genderbent. We'll have to go back through it again since this is a new development. Obviously, this," she motioned at the two, "isn't a coincidence."
"What about the town square?"
"I was able to ascertain that a spell had been performed but it was too faint to tell who or what could have done it."
"Are you sure it was the same spell that changed us?"
"There's a faint signature to all spells that is exclusive to the user. The remnants I felt there are the same I feel from you."
"And Crux?"
"Surprisingly, there have been several cases of celestial spirits and their mages being body swapped but not so much genderbent."
"Should we worry about you and Loke getting body swapped one day?"
"Bite your tongue Gray!"
"All right, so it's definitely mojo."
"What were you doing before you changed, Gray?" Levy asked completely unaware and innocently.
"Oh. Uh, well, we were...um, Erza?"
"Oh. Ha. That is, we were..."
"Oh! Ah, I don't think you need to know that, Levy," Lucy insisted.
"What? Of course I do! It might be important! It might help narrow down the causes of-oh. Never mind." Levy stopped prodding when she noticed the three uncomfortable faces looking back at her and realized what they weren't saying out loud. "I'll get to the narrowing down thing now." As she passed by them she whispered, "you guys are so naughty!" She took off before Erza could smack her.

"Fullbuster, let me take some blood and then you can go."
"Oh, right. Yes, ma'am."
"Don't call me that. The sooner we get through this, the better. I want all of you out of here."
"Boy, you sure know how to make someone feel welcomed, Porlyusica-san."
"I can always just let you figure it out yourself."
"I mean, thank you, Porlyusica-san."

After getting his blood drawn, Porlyusica had chased them out again. "Ugh. My back hurts," he turned to Erza, "and I don't think it's from all the sex we were having."
"That would be from your boobs."
"What? No. You liar."
"I told you: bigger isn't always better."
"You mean to tell me that my back is aching because my boobs are too big?"
"Yes."
"But your boobs are bigger than mine! Is this what you deal with on a daily basis?"
"Yes. Although it would help if you had better posture. Stop slouching."
"And Lucy. And Cana. And Mira. Hm, actually most of the females in our guild. Whatever happened to bodies of all shapes and sizes?"
She looked at him darkly, "I'm a guy. And I have eyes. I'd have to be blind not to notice!"
Gray rubbed his back and stopped slouching, "this sucks. You know, if you're ever in this much pain, you should think about getting a reduction. I'd hate for you to be in this much discomfort all the time."
Erza smiled, "that's sweet. And I'll think about it but I doubt it'll be necessary. Come on, let's go home. You can take a hot bath and I'll give you a massage. It helps with the ache."
"You know, if you ever need a back rub from me, just say the word."
"I plan on it."

They stared at the door nervously. "Why did we come here again?"
"Porlyusica kicked us out and you wanted to tell them what we found."
"Oh. Yeah. Right. Do you think they're, you know?"
"We're adults now. I think you can say it."
"Having sex. Do you think they're having sex?"
"Levy!"
"You said I can say it! You knock."
"What? Me? You're the one that wanted to come here. You knock."
"They're your teammates."
"You've been friends with them longer. You knock."
"No, yo-"
The door swung open and lady-Gray greeted them, "Lucy. Levy. We were actually about to come see you guys."
"Oh? What for?"
He gestured them in, "see for yourself."

"Erza! You're back to normal!" Lucy hugged her friend tightly.
"I am. Thank goodness."
"So what are you guys doing here?"
"Oh! We narrowed it down to three possible causes. But since Erza's back with no intervention from us, I can narrow it down even more and say that this spell was performed by these guys," she pulled out a book to show them.
"Tricksters?"
Levy nodded enthusiastically, "they like to cause trouble and chaos among lovers in the nighttime."
"Where do we find these guys?"
"Oh, they're long gone. They find a couple; maybe two, wreak some havoc and then they're off. Don't worry though, Gray. Their powers are very limited so you should be back to your old self by tomorrow."
Lucy took over for Levy, "Usually the spell gets reversed on its own once the lovers resolves whatever tension the tricksters think a couple may have. But tricksters are generally assholes so they added a time limit on the spell too."
"Thanks, guys. We owe you."
"Nonsense! You're our friends!"
Erza hugged them both, "thank you so much. You spent your whole day helping us when you could have been doing something else. We are very grateful."
"Oh, stop Erza. You would do the same."
"Lucy's right, really."

Their embrace broke and they finally noticed the clothes scattered all over the room. They shuffled uncomfortably. "Anyway... It's getting late. We should, uh-"
"Go, yes. We should go. Good night!"
"Good night, Erza, Gray: see you back in your old body tomorrow!"
"Good night. Thanks again!"

"They totally freaked out over the strewn clothing. Good call in staging it. Even if that is all we did today."
"What can I say? You are becoming a bad influence."
"Yeah... Let's see how else I can influence you."
"Aren't you exhausted?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "some dinner and I'll be good as new."
"You're incorrigible."
He winked saucily at her and tugged her back into the cottage. "You say that like it's a bad thing!"

I think this is it. I hope my brain is done.

Also, leave a review. I like having my ego stroked.