'Bella, you're going to be fine. You'll see me tomorrow, I promise. I'll ring you before I go to bed' Carlisle stated, putting his hands on my shoulder, and looking me in the eyes. He was meeting up with some friends of his from when he was studying in England, who were visiting Forks. I didn't want to be left alone, I didn't have any friends or family here, and he was refusing to let me go with him and meet his friends.
'What do you mean you'll ring me before you go to bed? You'll...you'll already be with me right?' I questioned. Why would he ring me, when he was in bed with me?
'Ah...about that...well...umm...I'm not coming home tonight' he stuttered, watching me closely, trying to read my expressions.
'Why? Why not?' I demanded, moving away and pacing the room trying to think this through. Where was he stopping? Why would he stop with his friends in a hotel room when he could just come home? Was he really meeting his friends?
'I...umm...well, we're not staying in Forks tonight...we're...we're going to...umm...Portland. Yeah, Portland' he replied, clearly thinking of excuses.
'Don't lie to me' I screamed at him. All we had been doing lately was arguing since James had died and we had that massive row, maybe this relationship was just getting all too much for us. Carlisle had been stressing so much, and wouldn't speak to me about what was bothering him, and was now apparently staying over night at places, and was lying to me, whilst I was an emotional wreck because of my pregnancy.
'Isabella...' he began, before I interrupted him.
'You're cheating on me aren't you?' I whispered feeling and hearing my voice break as the realisation dawned on me. I watched him watching me, his expression changing to shock and anger.
'Its...its Esme isn't it? You're fucking Esme aren't you? That's where you're going tonight...God, I'm so stupid, I should have known you two would get back together even after what she did to you' I whispered mostly to myself, as I sat on the sofa, my hand on my huge belly.
'Your going to take my baby away aren't you? You and her are going to raise our baby as yours and hers...your going to tell the courts that I'm not to be trusted with a child, your going to use my past and James against me so you get custody and so Esme can adopt it, and you can be a happy family...you've thought this all out haven't you? Carlisle, please don't take my baby, please? You might not love me but don't take my baby away from me, it's the only thing I have in this world? Please, I beg you. You can see him or her, I won't stop you but I'm its mom, not Esme. Please Carlisle please? I'm sorry I'm not her...I'm sorry I've pushed you into her arms, but...but...but...' I began to babble, sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to hyperventilate.
'Bella, calm down, take deep breaths in and out for me. Nobody's taking our baby away from either of us, I promise you that. You're his mom not Esme, and nor will she ever be. I'm not cheating on you with her or anyone else for that matter. I don't want anybody else, I only want you. There's nobody else in my life except for you, and I'm not planning to take your baby away. I'm planning to spend the rest of my life with you and raising our child together and not with anybody else' he spoke sincerely, putting emphasis on words to try and prove to me he wasn't taking my baby or cheating on me.
'I'm sorry...I just...I get so scared...I'm terrified your going to realise that you deserve better than me and leave me taking our baby with you when he or she is born...I shouldn't have said what I said...I'm sorry Carlisle...I'm so so sorry' I began to cry again.
'I'm not leaving you, and to be honest baby, I'll be glad when our little son or daughter is born, so you can stop being an emotional wreck, and will stop arguing with me all the time' he smirked, making me giggle as he pulled me into his side on the sofa, and stroking my arm soothingly.
'And this is exactly why I love you' I whispered, wiping away my tears and kissing him. I couldn't disagree with him, I was the one causing arguments all the time. I just couldn't keep my emotions in check, one moment I wanting to ravish him, and never let him go and next thing I'm wanting to scream at him and wanting to end our relationships. These hormones were turning me into an evil cow at times and then other times the most loving girlfriend you could ever wish for.
'Only 11 weeks left until we get to meet our little bambino' I whispered looking up at him. His hand squeezed my arm gently; as he smiled a huge smile and leaned down to kiss me.
'Are you scared of giving birth?' he asked quietly. My whole body stiffened at his question, as I lay my head on his lap as his fingers ran through my hair. The birth I had thought about everyday since our first scan, I was absolutely petrified. I nodded yes, with my eyes closed, and I felt his hands stop moving. I opened my eyes, to meet his eyes staring down at mine sympathetically.
'You know I'd do it for you if I could' he whispered.
'I'm just scared. I'm not scared of the contractions...I'm scared of the actual giving birth. I want to have a natural birth, I don't want any drugs. I don't want the drugs because I'm scared it'll be like when I'm drunk, I don't want to feel like that, it'll just make me want to start drinking again' I answered, telling him my honest concerns.
'Baby, it won't be like that. If you want to try without any drugs to start with but if it gets too bad and you want the pain relief, take it?' he reasoned.
'No. I don't want to' he nodded, but didn't say anything letting me go on. 'I'm scared that they'll have to cut me or that I'll tear or that something will happen to one of us. I don't want our baby to die. I didn't want to bring this up Carlisle but I want you to promise me that if something happens and you have to choose who lives...don't choose me, save our baby' I asked him.
'It's not going to come to that, why would you think that? Everything's going to be fine' he spoke.
'It...it happened to both my mom, aunty and grandmother...all of their husbands chose them to live, I don't want that to happen. I want our baby to live. I...I spoke to the midwife about it, and because it seems to be an occurrence in my family, there's a high chance it could happen to me too' I admitted, a tear coming to my eye. 'I wasn't going to ask you or tell you about it, I had it in my mind that it won't happen and if it did that you would make the right choice...but I need you to know. I need you to promise me you won't let our baby die' I explained, hoping he would agree.
'I...I...I...I don't know what to say. I'd never forgive myself if I chose for either of you to die. I can't lose you, I can't live without you' he stuttered.
'You wouldn't have to. You'd still have a part of me in our baby. I'd still be with you. Please, make the right choice. You don't have to tell me now, or even promise me because in my heart I know you wouldn't fail our baby...just keep in mind what I've said if it comes to that please?' I virtually begged. He nodded in agreement but I could tell that he wasn't really with me, his thoughts had trailed off to another place, and knowing Carlisle it'll be the thought of that happening.
We lay silently on the sofa in our new house we had brought. Lying in each others arms for a long time stuck in our own thoughts before Carlisle broke the silence.
'I've got to go get ready, else I'm going to be late' Carlisle murmured, moving off of the sofa, leaving me on my own.
He came back in to the room a few minutes later, in a new outfit that I had brought him for his birthday and it looked even better on him that I could have ever imagined. He was wearing his digital print Emporio Armani shirt, with his Emporio Armani runaway jacket over the shirt, Emporio Armani runaway moiré effect trousers and to top the outfit off a pair of Emporio Armani shoes. I literally couldn't take my eyes off of him.
'You got a bit of drool there Isabella Marie Swan' Carlisle smirked, sauntering towards me. I stood from my seat, meeting him half way and gripped his jacket firmly in my hands pulling him towards me, before standing on tip toes and pressing my mouth against his forcefully and urgently. He spun me around pushing me gently against the wall closest to us, before gripping my hands and holding them above my head whilst pushing his hips into mine, pinning me against the wall. A new side of Carlisle I had never seen before, a more dominant, sexier side and I loved it. Our tongues exploring each others mouths. I struggle against his hands slightly, wanting to touch him and he willing lets go, and my hands are in his hair pulling at him urgently. He pulls away and grasps my chin gently, kissing me softly.
'I love you Isabella' he murmurs, kissing me once more.
'I...I...are you sure you've got to go now?' I asked urgently, needing him and wanting him immediately.
'I'm afraid so, but I assure you tomorrow night we will finish this off' he grinned.
'Come on, it's not gonna matter if you're like 10 minutes late' I pouted, trying to pull him back to my lips.
'We're going to need more than 10 minutes for what I have planned' he chuckled darkly, before kissing me and moving towards the front door to leave.
'I'll see you tomorrow Miss Swan' he smiled before leaving. I sulkily walked to the couch and sat down, what was I suppose to do now? It was 8pm, and I definitely wasn't tired now. I guess I could read a book, but all I wanted to do now was...well Carlisle but he wasn't here. I heard a knock on the door, not long after and leaped to my feet excitingly, perhaps Carlisle had changed his mind and come back to finish off what he started. I answered the door not to see Carlisle but to see a large group of women and a few children at my door.
'Aunty Claire' I screamed happily. I hadn't seen her since I was tiny, she was my mothers sister but we had lost contact after my parents died. I immediately recognised her daughters Cynthia, Gianna, Heidi and Leah who had also brought along their children, there was also some friends from my school, and a few people I didn't recognise who I later learned was Carlisle's female friends and family.
'What is all this?' I asked, confused whilst letting them all in, luckily this house was a lot bigger than the old one to fit us all in.
'How did you know where I lived? How did you get here? What's going on?' I questioned.
'Well your fiancé decided you needed a girly night, paid for us all to get here, and well here we are ready to have a good time' my cousin Gianna announced whilst setting the room up to fit us all in, and for us all to be able to sit down.
The night went so fast, by the time I had looked at the clock again it was just turning midnight on the 3rd September. We had spent the night chatting, watching movies, having pampers and getting too know Carlisle's family and friends. I stood up to get a glass of water, and sent a quick text thanking him for what he had done for me tonight and hoping he was having a good time with his friends. My phone chimed letting me know I had a text, of course being from Carlisle.
'Don't thank me yet darling. I love you' It read, I shrugged my shoulders, drank my water and began to move back into the front room to join my family and friends, when there was another knock at the door.
I left the front room, and moved to the door, cautiously opening it just in case to see a large silver and black box sitting on the porch with my name written on top. I picked it up and carried it inside, shutting the door behind me and slowly taking the lid off. Inside folded neatly was a dress. I took it out and held it up in front of me...it was a wedding dress.
It was absolutely beautiful. It was strapless, with a bead and sequin bodice and waist design, and a trail. It took my breath away, but I had ordered a wedding dress, me and Carlisle hadn't even decided on a date yet. Underneath the dress was a beautiful tiara, veil and necklace and a pair of beautiful heels. I placed them all down gently when I saw the envelope attached to the bottom of the box. I picked it up and opened it to see Carlisle's beautiful handwriting staring back at me.
Wear these today to our wedding beautiful, where you will finally be Mrs Isabella Cullen. I love you darling, and I pray that I will see you walking down the aisle at 11am on September 3rd 2014. I love you.
Yours always,
Carlisle
xxxxxx
I felt my heart sink, as I dropped the letter and ran to mine and Carlisle's bedroom, locking it behind me. Could I go through with this? Could I marry him?
Authors notes; So what did you guys think? Will Isabella walk down the aisle? Will the wedding go ahead? I shall try to update a lot sooner than last time...but no promises. Thank you for all of your continued support.