I was surprised to see that there were so few fics about Rules of Engagement and even more surprised to find that there were none for this ship. I don't know if this is because there isn't much of an audience for fics of this show or simply because no one has accepted the challenge of writing one. Either way, I am going to give it a try. I think that Jeff and Audrey Bingham, aside from being brilliant comedic characters, have the potential to be very complex. This story will shed a light on the more serious side of their lives and those of the rest of the cast. It will take place around the time of season 4. I would like to give a big thank you to Patrick Warburton and Megyn Price for their awesome portrayal of these characters despite all of the setbacks that the show faced throughout the years. Cheers.

"How was work?" Audrey said when Jeff dropped to the couch with an exhausted thump.

"Same," he grunted.

"What do you think of this for the ceremony?" She turned away from the mirror in a slim fitting ivory dress and simple black necklace.

"Seriously?" he answered before throwing his head back. "It's not for another month."

"I know, but I want to look nice. It's a big day."

"We're just renewing our vows. We're already married, Aud. Nothing changes." He stood from the couch to remove his jacket. The beer in the fridge wasn't going to drink itself.

"That's just like you," Audrey said as she followed him into the kitchen. "You don't care about anything but yourself."

"That's not true," he said while opening the refrigerator door. "I care very much that there are only four cans of beer. Where are the other two?"

"You're counting them now?"

"Just answer the question," he said after the first can was consumed and pulverized in his grip.

"So I had a beer or two. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that we buy the light beer for you. It sits in here for weeks, hogging all the space that the real beer could be taking up, but no. We have to keep it on stock because you don't want to get fat. But now you're drinking my beer, the beer designated for me—Jeff's beer."

"Wow," she said dryly and left the kitchen. "I thought marriage was about sharing everything in our lives. You know, becoming one?"

"That's just what they tell you at the altar to make you go through with it," he called after her before downing the second beer in his hands. "That's how they get ya."

"Son of a bitch," Jeff mumbled in the diner as he crushed yet another piece of paper and threw it across the table.

"Hey, Kong," Russell said and sat in the other side of the booth. "What's the problem?"

"Audrey wants me to write some stupid vows for the renewal and it's just a big waste of time."

"Why are you guys renewing your vows, anyway? You're already married," Russell said and waved the waitress to their table.

"That's what I said, but she seems to think it's important."

"Hey, guys," Adam said and sat next to Russell.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Russell chimed while sipping his coffee.

"It's a jogging suit," Adam said while losing the smile on his face. The pink and green track suit was drawing quite a crowd.

"From 1985?" Russell chuckled.

"You're just jealous," Adam said only to be pelted in the face with a ball of paper.

"Something wrong?" he said while looking at Jeff.

"Nope," Jeff said and shoveled an entire pancake in his mouth. "Just felt like it."

"Why do you have like ten pens and a bunch of paper?" Adam asked.

"To annoy me," the waitress answered as she held the coffee pot over Jeff's cup. "This pathetic sad-sack has been here for hours. Moaning about writing wedding vows." She looked at Jeff closely. "Either shut up or get out of my diner. I hear enough whinin' at home."

"Ugh," Jeff huffed. "I shouldn't have to do this. I already said my vows 14 years ago. That's enough for a lifetime."

"You and Audrey renewing your vows?" Adam asked.

"Duh," Russell answered.

"What's the big deal?" Adam asked. "I think writing your own vows can be really romantic."

But just as the words escaped his lips, he was hit with another wad of paper.

"I'm serious," Adam continued. "I'm gonna write my own vows for our wedding. I want Jen to know exactly how I feel about her. I don't want her to have to sit through some lame vows that another guy wrote. It should be personal."

Jeff started to crumple another crisp sheet of paper between his hands before Adam interrupted him. "Wait, wait, wait," he said. "Maybe I could help you if you're having trouble."

Jeff cocked his arm in preparation to throw the ball right between Adam's eyes.

"Please, don't," Adam begged. "I'm serious. I can help. I write Jen love letters all the time. I have a real way with words."

Jeff reluctantly set the ball onto the table. He considered leaving, but where would he really go? Home to Audrey, knowing that he'd made no progress on the vows? He'd rather wrestle an alligator… Or eat fruit.

"Get out," Jeff said. The timbre of his voice rippled the coffee in Russell's cup.

"Me?" Russell said.

"No," Jeff answered," The little blond girl sitting next to you."

"What the hell, man?" Russell yelped.

"Out!"

Russell slipped out the side of the booth, hoping that Jeff's giant fist wouldn't crush him in the process.

"So, you're really gonna let me help you?" Adam said in disbelief.

"Why not," Jeff sighed. "I'm not getting anywhere."

"Oh, you are not gonna regret this."

"You're right," Jeff said while putting his jacket on and stepping out from the booth.

"Where are you going?"

"Wherever."

"But I thought I was gonna help you with the whole romantic vow thing?" Adam said innocently.

"Here's the paper," Jeff said and slid the stack towards Adam, "And every color of pen you can think of. Might not want to use the green one."

"Why?" Adam cringed.

"Wasn't green when I started," Jeff said.

"Gross, I have to write romantic vows with a pen covered in snot," Adam whispered and nudged the pen with a napkin.

"Thanks, man. Have 'em back to me by five. Rangers game starts at six, and I don't want anyone knockin' on my door."

I intend this story to be quite long. If I find that there is an audience for this, I will happily continue. I hope you all enjoy. Get ready for an angsty, romantic journey of the heart!