To Love is to Remember

The life of Alec Lightwood was perfect. He finally was himself truly. He finally stopped thinking that he loves his step-brother. He finally found the love of his life. He finally was the happiest guy in the whole world.

But then came the day that changed everything.

The day when Magnus Bane had died.

Since that day Alec's life became one horrible, unbearable pain.

Oh…how many times he wanted to end with himself. But every time he was about to drive a blade through his heart, or cut his wrists, or drank some poison, he heard in his mind those four particular words that made him stop his attempts. "I love you Darling"

So finally Alexander stopped trying to kill himself, because he knew that his warlock wouldn't want him to be dead. Instead he made sure to remember every single thing about his dead lover.

He remembers his favorite coffee…latte…So Alexander learned to love it too. He always drank it from warlock's favorite, rainbow mug.

He remembers that Magnus used to sleep on the right side of the bed. So now Alec's sleeping on the right side, covering in their canary yellow sheets, inhaling what's left from warlock's scent.

He remembers that Magnus loved the sandalwood scent, so Alec uses this scent on himself.

He remembers that Magnus loved glitter, so Alec loves it too. No, he doesn't put it on himself, no. He just likes to watch every glittery thing he can.

He remembers how Magnus wore clothes in most ridiculous colors. So whenever Alec walking near some clothes shop, he can't help himself and looks at the bright color stuff and imagine his warlock in them.

He remembers favorites dishes of his beloved, his favorites places to eat. So Alec often goes to that places and orders whatever he lover liked to eat.

He remembers how his warlock loved to party. So Alec sometimes goes with his siblings to some club and try to have fun, imaging that Magnus is there with him too. He tries to be happy.

He remembers how Magnus wanted to celebrate every little thing with Alec. Like the anniversary of their first kiss, first date, first official date after Alec's coming out. Like Valentine's day, a boyfriend's day though Alec didn't believe that day like that existed. Finally the anniversary of their wedding. But his warlock was happy that he could spend this day just with Alec and do some lovely things together. And now Alec remembers those dates too.

And every year he goes on that days to the New York Cemetery to spend this day with his beloved.

When Magnus died, his warlock friends wanted to take him to his home land, but Alec didn't agree. He told that Magnus's home is here in New York. So finally Catarina agreed to bury Magnus on the cemetery. And Alec goes very often there just to sit down and talk to his warlock about everything.

"Hey Magnus" said Alec once he sat down in front of the tomb. He silently read it every time he is here. "Here lies Magnus Bane-Lightwood, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, beloved husband, friend"

He placed red roses with glitter on the tomb and smiled down at the photo of his glittery warlock. He couldn't be sad when he was watching those lovely cat eyes with sparkles looking at him.

"I miss you" says the young boy. Well…he's not so young anymore. He's twenty six now.

"I can't believe it's four years already. For me it's like yesterday you were lying next to me in our bed and kissed me goodnight" he wipes away a single tear that rolled down his cheek "I love you so much"

"I love you too sweetheart" he hears in his mind. He closes his eyes and picturing Magnus standing behind him with his arms around him.

"I would like to be with you now…wherever you are" he says in a small voice "But I know you wouldn't like me to kill myself. I know you want me to be alive and happy."

" I want you to be happy" Alec loved his mind for those creation of Magnus's words. He smiled whenever in his mind appeared his lover's voice.

"Do you miss me too?" he touched lightly the tomb

"I miss you so much"

"Happy birthday Magnus" he finally says. "I love you"

The years gone and gone and Alec was now thirty four. He was in a new relationship with a blonde thirty seven year old Shadowhunter. Mark was amazing guy. He was there for Alec when he needed him the most. He comforted him whenever Alec had a nightmare about the night when Magnus died. Mark knew he won't ever be a number one in Alec's heart. But he knew that Alec loved him, maybe not that much as he loved his first husband. And he loved Alec. He was aware that Magnus will always be a part of Alec's life. At first it was disturbing for the blonde Shadowhunter, but once he learned about Alec's past with Magnus, he understood. So often he goes with Alec on the cemetery to visit Magnus Bane.

Alec was going every year on Magnus's birthday, on anniversary of their wedding, on anniversary of their engagement. He always brought Magnus's favorite red roses with glitter. Always told him how's life, what changed, what happened. He told him about his siblings, their friends. He just loves to speak to Magnus even if he can't every time hear an answer in his mind. But he knows that Magnus is still with him, and that he's happy that Alec is happy.

And Alexander is happy. At least he tries. He learned to love again. Not so much as he used to though.

And even if Alec loves again, another man, he never stopped loving his warlock. He still remembers the first true love of his life. He still remember him even if he's dead for many years. Because to love is to remember.

A/N: Did you like it?

Review if you feel like to.

I loved this stories. But this one was the last one.

But fear not! I'm starting today writing a new story, long-term story, so probably I'll post the first chapter or prologue on days.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

Love you all

Intoxic.