CHAPTER 1 - Hide & Seek

On the outside they were polar opposites. She was water and he was oil and never had it seemed the two shall mix. Their differences were always viewed and immediately the odd pair were placed into separate categories and classified as two completely different species of life. However if one examined Sheldon and Penny through a different lens, they would notice that beyond the highlighted opposites the two possessed a strange type of chemistry that forever bonded them on a level that no one could ever understand.

Unlike the others in their group, each one played some sort of role in the other's life. For example, periodically Penny was to Sheldon a substitute mother figure in his times of uncertainty and need for comfort. She was the only one that could sing Soft Kitty to him when he was sick or showing signs of discomfort in his life. At one time, when Penny was on a weekend trip with some friends and Sheldon came down with what he believed was food poisoning from a new Chinese restaurant that Leonard decided they should try; he had to request Amy to sing his beloved song to him. Despite her effort though she failed in providing that deep needed warmth he obtained from the lullaby; and like a King to a servant he flicked his wrist at her in dismissal and instead sent her on a mission to obtain a cup of mint tea. Penny also acted as a social advisor, explaining to Sheldon the reasons to why those around him exhibit behaviors that seemed mind-boggling to his superior mind. She had that special way of unraveling that which confused him and thus he was then able to grasp an understanding.

To Penny, Sheldon acted as an authority figure; and though she opposed his views and rebelled in her actions at his rules, she secretly adored his concern for her well-being. There were many times where he was the teacher and she the student; having taken it upon him to attempt to plant some seed of knowledge into that blonde head of hers'. Unfortunately, such information was not obtained but through his desire to teach, Penny did obtain a higher standard in how she lived. No longer did she simply accept life at face value and at times grew bored with the simplicity of her other friends and yearned for some form of nerdy drabble to fulfill her day. Granted, it was not just by Sheldon's hands alone that made her grow, for all her intelligent friends molded her in some frame or fashion; however it was Sheldon she unconsciously wished to please with any newfound intelligence she gathered.

Yes it seemed that the pair merely tolerated the other, and perhaps at one time such a thing was true; but over the years something beyond tolerance rooted and a bizarre relationship grew. An unexplainable friendship blossomed and yet something more lingered on the horizon as though they still needed to go through another phase of growth to be complete….

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"I didn't hear anything." Bernadette's pixie-high voice spoke up as she removed her ear from Amy's closed door and casted a questioning gaze at Penny.

"No, I definitely heard something." Penny proclaimed with an air of confidence in her posture and facial expression; a look commonly possessed by their mutual friend, Sheldon, who seemed to always have said expression permanently transfixed upon his face.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Bernadette's petite fist tapped on the wood and secretly both women wished to repeat the word, Amy, afterwards.

"Just a minute!" Amy's voice sang behind the door in response.

The pair simply glared at one another, for Amy had them waiting outside her apartment door for five minutes now.

"I wonder what she is doing in there." Bernadette whispered as her arms crossed over her chest and her breath sighed.

"You mean who she is doing in there." All Penny did was smirk at her proclamation which immediately drew an open gasp from her dear companion.

"You think Sheldon and Amy are…" Her head gestured towards the apartment. "Having sex in there?"

Penny shrugged. "I don't know." Her voice dragged out that phrase as though she was contemplating her thoughts. "But something is going on. I can feel it. I have a sense about these types of matters."

Out of their little group, Penny was definitely the black sheep. She possessed neither a fancy degree from a prestigious university nor the garnished title that accompanied them; however that did not mean Penny was dumb, on the contrary, she possessed her own unique form of intelligence. Penny was street-smart. This skill is what made her catch hold of the subtle signs that her brainy friend failed at grasping, and was what enhanced her inner gut to suspect that there was indeed something strange going on beyond that closed door before them.

"Good afternoon my fellow bitches." Amy's failed attempt at social lingo caught their ears before her image caught their eyes, for each was lost in thought at the moment she opened the door.

"Finally!" Bernadette called. "What took you so long?" The little spitfire demanded an immediate explanation. Penny, however, remained quiet and took to observing Amy's appearance then to hear any explanation she had to offer.

"I was getting changed." Amy replied quickly and in a matter-of-fact way. "I spilt tea on myself and was in the middle of dressing when you knocked."

Bernadette seemed satisfied with the reason and simply scooted her way beyond Amy and into her apartment. Penny held her own thoughts for the moment and prior to following in Bernadette's footsteps, paused to look Amy dead on in the eyes. She was lying and Penny knew it.

"Wh…Why are you two here?" Amy cautiously questioned as she closed the door and faced the pair.

"Did you forget? We had lunch plans today." Penny chimed in as she and Bernadette glared at Amy from afar.

"Oh. That was today?"

The pair nodded.

A nervous laugh escaped the odd woman. "Oops. Well I guess I'll just go grab my purse and we could go." On a quick foot she made a beeline for her bedroom leaving the two women alone for the moment.

"See. Nothing is wrong." Bernadette flopped upon the couch to wait.

"Did you not notice!?" Penny took a seat next to her and scooted in as close as she could so that their conversation could remain unheard.

"Notice what?"

"For one, Amy's hair was all disheveled…." She paused and laughed at herself for using a big girl word like 'disheveled'.

"So what, her hair is always a mess."

"Yeah but that looked like 'just got out of bed from having hot sex' hair, not 'I refuse to spend any money on a hairdresser' hair. Trust me…I know the difference."

Bernadette's brow crinkled as she took in this new information and processed it.

"Secondly, her cardigan! Since when does Amy ever walk around with it buttoned wrong? And did you see her neck? There was a red mark on it, definite hickey in the making."

Before Bernie could say anything in reply, Penny continued. "And thirdly…wait, fourthly…whatever…it totally smells like sex in here!"

"It does?" Penny's brilliant friend did not seem so bright at the moment.

"Come on Bernie…we should know what sex smells like!"

Bernadette sniffed the air and quick her hand smacked her opened mouth in shock. "Oh my God it does!" She paused for a moment as a thought suddenly swarmed to the center of her mind."But Amy specifically stated that part of their added sex clause in the relationship agreement, was that all sexual acts be performed at Sheldon's."

It had taken a long time, but Amy finally broke Sheldon down to 'do the deed'. She fought a good fight and in the end, and all Sheldon could do to maintain control of the situation was to add in a sex clause to their already extensive and highly detailed relationship agreement. Grinding his teeth in defeat, he spent two weeks crafting what would become the official 'rules' to their now physical relationship. Coitus would be performed once a week and in the confinements of his bedroom where he could easily maintain a level of safety and hygienic precautions. In a Dexter-like style he wrapped his bed in plastic to place a barrier between the dirty action and his fresh cleaned sheets. Amy was drawn aback by such a sight at first but it was either suffer through the uncomfortable plastic against her skin or not get any action at all. Secondly, all clothes (aside from undergarments) were to remain on; Amy was lucky enough that she was allowed to change into bed clothes prior to the performance, but unfortunate enough that she had to endure gazing at Sheldon's blue flannel pajama top during it. Thirdly, each participant must be thoroughly washed and sanitized which meant prior to Amy lying down upon the cold plastic, she would have to be inspected by Sheldon for any signs of unwanted dirt. Fourthly, the act of coitus was to be performed in the missionary fashion and neither participant was allowed to have exploring hands during. Amy's hands were to be placed either on her side, or she was allowed to hold onto Sheldon's biceps if the act got too 'wild'. These were just some of the many rules Sheldon constructed and Amy happily obeyed in ordered to get some form of passion from the man she whole-heartily admired and respected.

Unfortunately, it left both empty at the end. Sheldon treated the weekly performance as a mere animalistic act of nature to be controlled and maintained at his own comfort level. Amy, on the other hand, had any inkling of hope that Sheldon might break free from his shell destroyed. She secretly wished that by succeeding at this step that Sheldon might finally show some form of human affection. She knew that he cared about her in his own way and had no intentions on changing the person that he was; however, she thought that this little piece of their relationship might bring forth that inner human life-force that she knew Sheldon secretly possessed but never displayed. She was wrong. His actions were cold and scientific and he showed more fiery passion discussing the laws of physics and the theories of the universe then he did when their two bodies joined as one.

"Yeeeahh." Penny dragged out the word as she half listened to what Bernadette said. "I'm going to pee before we go." She instead declared before slapping the tops of her thighs as she rose to make her way towards Amy's bathroom.

A mere moment late Amy re-emerged from her bedroom, dressed more appropriately then before. "Where is Penny?"

"The bathroom."

"THE BATHROOM!?" Amy's voice raised a few octaves high as the look of distress washed over her.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Penny's voice screamed behind the closed bathroom door.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Another voice, male (though holding a cord of femininity) sang off a second thereafter.

Bernadette jumped up, Amy stood frozen in her steps, and Penny slammed the door open to emerge from the bathroom with no other than Raj Koothrappali sheepishly following behind.

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