Chapter IV: Lions and Avengers and Bilgesnipe! Oh, My!

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As Jane opened the door to the nursery, she saw a feminine figure standing by the crib. Before she could scream, Jane was thrown against the wall across the hall. The feminine figure turned towards Jane, but her face was still hidden in the shadows.

"You must be Thor's whore," the woman said, "Do give him my love."

Jane's vision was spinning but she could have sworn something jumped at the intruder. Several somethings.

"What is this?" the woman said. She then yelped and stumbled out of the nursery.

Jane was certain she must be having a nightmare because it looked like several of Hal's stuffed animals were attacking the woman who Jane thought she recognized as the Enchantress. The Mini-Humanoids were either running or flying depending on who they were. The animals distracted the Enchantress. Even the giant spider was crawling around and trying to build webs to catch the intruder.

The ruckus awoke Thor and he came out of the master bedroom swinging his hammer. The Enchantress had enough awareness to send a blast of magic towards Thor, which he blocked with Mjolnir.

"How dare you come here Amora!" Thor said.

Before Thor could throw Mjolnir, Amora was knocked off her feet and a small blast of light hit her face from Mini-Iron Man. "What are these things?" the Enchantress shouted.

The power went out when what appeared to be a bolt of lightning struck inside the room. There was cursing and shouts of pain from the Enchantress.

After thirty seconds, the lights came back on and Loki was in the room in full Asgardian armor. The Enchantress was covered in small scratches and burns while the stuffed animals Loki had given Hal surrounded her. Loki sent of blast of magic at Amora, which she barely dodged.

"Honestly Amora, this is, to quote a friend, 'creepier than drugged peaches from the Goblin King'," Loki said.

The Enchantress staggered to her feet. "You are speaking as if you were mad, Loki."

Loki stepped between Amora and Thor. "Have you not heard? I am utterly insane. Do not throw it, Thor. She has a shield specifically against Mjolnir. Protect that hallway."

The Enchantress and the Trickster quickly bounced spells off each other. Loki had the disadvantage of keeping his family protected while Amora had to deal with over a dozen small creatures attacking her.

Finally, the Avengers arrived. Tony was the only one in full gear and swiftly blasted the Enchantress into the wall. Bruce had not changed yet, but it did not appear that the Hulk's assistance was needed. Amora was on the ground and not moving.

Loki pulled Amora to her feet and held her throat in his hands, but he did not choke her. "The only reason I will not kill you is that I have a message I want you to deliver to all your associates."

"And what is the message?" Amora said.

Loki grinned. "There are benefits of having the boogey-man as your uncle."

Loki's skin began to turn blue. Amora screamed but eventually her voice stopped as her vocal chords froze. Loki then dragged her towards the window.

"Do not worry. You'll be fine in a few days," Loki said as he tossed her out the window, shattering the glass.

The Avengers ran to the window and saw a green mist float away. They stared at Loki, not speaking. With a clap from Loki's hands, a wave of magic swept through the apartment.

"No enchantment of Amora's remains," Loki said.

Loki's armor disappeared to his sleeping wear. It was green, silk pajama bottoms and a t-shirt that said, "I tried to rule Midgard and all I got was a beating by the Avengers." He walked over to Jane who was struggling to stand up.

"I'll bring her to you. Don't move," Loki said.

He returned carrying Halldóra in one arm and the giant salmon in the other. Loki slid to the floor and let Jane take Hal. He tossed the salmon at Stark's head, knocking Tony to the ground.

"What is in this thing!" Tony asked as he struggled to stand up in the suit.

"It mimics Asgardian armor so it can protect the child but also will not suffocate her," Loki said.

The Mini-Avengers were sizing up their larger counterparts. Mini-Hawkeye and Mini-Iron Man seemed to be planning an attack while Mini-Black Widow was trying to dissuade them. The animals were scattered around the room.

Thor slid down onto the floor and wrapped his arms around Jane and Hal. "Are you two all right?"

"Hal seems fine. I hit my head though," Jane said.

Thor nodded, hiding his tears in Jane's hair. "I almost lost the both of you, dearest."

Jane was shaking. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't know that someone was there and…"

"Can the lot of you be useful?" Loki said to the Avengers.

The Earth's Mightiest Heroes were still looking at the living toys.

Loki rolled his eyes before making his cellphone appear. "Darcy, would you be ever so helpful and bring up to Jane's apartment a first aid kit? Everyone is alive, but Jane might have a concussion. Yes, hurry, but do not hurt yourself in the process."

"Why is there a Mini-Me?" Natasha asked.

"Why are there two of me?" Bruce asked. The Mini-Hulk was sulking; Mini-Banner was trying to analyze his green counterpart.

Steve picked up the lion toy by the scruff of its neck "Or why there is a three ring circus of the universe?" The lion swatted at Steve's face, causing Steve to bleed.

"I would avoid touching them as they are currently in defense mode," Loki said.

"What are they though?" Tony said.

Loki did not answer but observed Jane and Hal for any changes in condition. He sat crouched next to Jane and spoke quietly to the three members of his family until Darcy arrived with a giant box of medical supplies.

"I know CPR!" Darcy said as she handed the box to Clint.

"That will not be necessary," Loki said, "Dr. Banner, if you may."

Loki stood up and switched with Bruce. Thor took Hal. The Trickster rummaged through the medical supplies.

Darcy shrieked as the dragon toy brushed past her leg. "There's a snake in here!"

"It is just a Mini-Dragon," Loki said.

Darcy took several deep breaths before replying. "Loki… why is there a Mini-Dragon in here?"

"Because I created it. I will explain in a moment," Loki said.

Jane was given the all clear as long as she was woken up every few hours and sent to a medical doctor if her condition became worse. Loki took Hal from Thor while the elder Asgardian helped Jane to the couch. With a wave of his hand, Loki had the apartment cleaned and Tony's armor returned to where it was stored.

"I feel exposed and used," Tony said, "I thought you knew how to treat a girl, Loki."

"Oh, Stark, I thought we agreed that all I want is to remove your clothing," Loki said with a wink.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Don't give the fan girls anything more to work with. They already think that Steve and I are secretly married."

"But it is so useful to have thousands of followers kneel at your command without force," Loki said, "Imagine what I could do at one of those conventions…"

Darcy smacked Loki across the back of his head. "Off topic and borderline megalomania. What happened here?"

"The simple explanation is that Thor has had a stalker for several centuries but she generally leaves him alone," Loki said.

"The Enchantress was here," Thor said.

"Ah. Got it," Darcy said, "So, why was she here? Was she trying to kill Jane or something?"

"No. She was going to steal Hal either to raise the baby as her own or to take some of Hal's DNA and create her own Amora/Thor child," Loki said.

"That is creepier than drugged peaches from the Goblin King," Darcy said.

"That is exactly what I said, Darcy," Loki said.

"So… she made stuffed animals come to life?" Clint asked.

"No, that was me," Loki said.

"You? Why? Did you want an army?" Tony asked.

Loki rolled his eyes before answering. "No."

"Are these like the toy boars we had when we were small?" Thor asked.

"Yes, only more potent," Loki said.

"What boars?" Natasha asked.

"Children of Asgard are given toys as a sort of talisman against evil dreams," Thor said, "They do not work after one is no longer a child, though it differs from person to person when it stops."

"Amora was not a bad dream," Natasha said.

"As I said, it is more potent," Loki said.

By this point, the animals had returned to Hal's nursery, including the salmon flopping its way down the hall. The Mini-Avengers seemed to be content to watch the action going on in Thor and Jane's living room. Mini-Thor was sitting at Jane's feet while Mini-Loki paced. The Life-Size-Avengers sat on the various chairs in the room while waiting for Loki to continue his explanation.

"Dude, have you seen Toy Story?" Darcy asked.

"That was not where I retrieved the idea," Loki said. He cooed to Hal. "No, I had this idea for a long time. I had to make sure my little niece was safe. Yes. You are such a sweetie, Hal. Yes, you are."

"Loki is doing baby talk. I have officially seen it all," Clint said.

Loki glanced up at Clint. "I have researched child development and this 'baby talk' helps a child 's linguistic skills."

"You researched child development?" Steve asked.

"Yes. Why would I not?" Loki asked.

"Folks, off topic," Darcy said.

"When Thor told me that he had news to tell me, I realized that Jane was pregnant. Though I knew the child would be well protected, I feared what would happen if those who protected the child would be unable to come to his or her aid for some reason," Loki said. He smiled as Hal hit him with Mini-Mjolnir. "Good girl. Yes, you are going to be fiercer than a Valkyrie, aren't you little one?"

Natasha picked up her Mini-Avenger. "So, you created a first response team."

"Yes. All of these toys I created have a bit of my magic in them. I remembered my Mother telling Thor and I growing up that play helped us become adults and protected us from unnecessary evil," Loki said. He did not bother looking up and focused on Hal.

"So, what do these things do?" Dr. Banner asked.

Loki thought for a moment. "Well, the animals take on the traits of their larger counterparts, except for the salmon which I have already explained. The Mini-Avengers have a milder form of everyone's powers. Mini-Thor's hammer does cause some lightning, but only about the equivalent of a Taser, for example."

The Mini-Avengers seemed satisfied and went back to Hal's room. "

Are they always on?" Tony asked.

Loki shook his head. "No. There has to be malice towards or near Hal while they are in the same room as her. That is why I know Amora was not here to harm Hal. Hal's toys are enchanted so that they will even attack Thor, Jane, or me. We have dealt with mind-controlling technology and magic before and I would not have harm come to my niece."

"Daw. Loki is an overprotective uncle," Darcy said.

Loki huffed. "Tonight shows that I am not overly protective. At least the general criminal population knows that anyone trying to kidnap or harm my niece will suffer greatly."

"Um, Loki, just one question," Jane said.

"Yes?" Loki asked as he cooed to Hal.

Jane cleared her throat. "Hal's Mini-Mjolnir… is it… you know… Mini-Mjolnir and all that goes with it?"

"No," Loki said, looking up for a moment, "I just thought it would be cute." He returned his attention to his niece. "Who is the cutest little baby in the Nine Realms? You are! You are!"

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A/N: Some of the animals relate to creatures Loki turned into at various points in Norse mythology or his children In particular: the wolf, the horse, the eight-legged horse, the spider, the sea serpent, and the salmon.

Would people be interested in a series related to this and children the Avengers have focusing on hijinks Loki and Darcy get into with them?

And if you ever want to know what happens to this kid when she is old enough to date, read this post. http: slash slash fargreencountryswiftsunrise dot tumblr dot com slash post slash 50393610681 slash akittensblog-hannawolfcross-theghostparty#notes.