\ I DO NOT OWN SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN (ATTACK ON TITAN) OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS /

A/N: This is my first SNK fanfic, Levi was a huge challenge for me... mostly because I like to imagine him with this secret heart of gold... when in reality, that's probably not entirely the case. Anywayyy, if you aren't past episode 21 of the anime, and don't want anything to be spoiled, this probably isn't the fanfic for you. Haha. I would really appreciate reviews! I never show anyone my writing, so I'd like to get some feedback on how this is from an outsiders point of view. Constructive criticism pleaseee. I'm unsure about the rating, but I've rated it M just in case, especially since I'm planning on doing a bonus lemony chapter later on.

Golden Eyes

Her eyes would never be the same.

That was the first thought that entered Levi's mind when he gazed down upon the broken, bloody mess that Petra had become.

The eyes that never judged or accused him, those eyes that managed to see past the heartless man that he put out for the world to see and that lit up the room without ever even trying... had now gone cold.

Levi almost smiled as he remembered the soft grin she'd given him as she placed her hand gently on his, "You can't fool me. You're a good man." Her voice rang in his ears until a cool breeze came through the trees and brought him back into reality.

The reality where he was standing before her, but she was not smiling. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Levi frowned as he looked down at her blood streaked face. He'd seen so many die, carried so many corpses. He thought he'd become accustomed to the sight. He had even prepared himself for his squads' death. Accepted it as an inevitability. Hers in particular. At least he thought he had. But seeing them- seeing her- nothing could have made the pain he felt in his chest any less agonizing. With a sigh, Levi bent down on one knee and grabbed her small, limp hand and held it in his. This pain, though familiar, was also foreign to him. He knew the pain of losing a comrade and that feeling was there... but it was shadowed by something else entirely, something more intense. The loss of someone precious and irreplaceable.

His mind wandered back to the day before, when Petra had entered his office, flush pink cheeks, a letter in her left hand.

"Good evening, Heichou." She said in a chipper tone.

"Petra?" He asked, looking at the late hour on the clock. "What is it? Shouldn't you be at home with your family?"

She had smiled, never repelled by his curt and sometimes sour replies. "I want you to be aware of something," She had almost whispered, ignoring his second question. Clutching her letter tighter she added, "Before tomorrows mission."

Levi had uncrossed his arms and leaned forward, elbows on his desk, waiting for her to get on with it. It was late, after all.

Suddenly he noticed a change in her demeanor, as if she'd become nervous.

"You see... Heichou, I..." She looked down at the floor and sighed, "I will stand by your side. Always. I would gladly sacrifice everything, even my life. For you." Her pink lips curved into a delicate smile, "Because I-"

Levi waved his hand dismissively and let out an exasperated sigh, leaning his chin onto his other hand, like he was bored. "Oi, Petra. I already knew that. That was understood when you became a part of this squad. You had me thinking this was something import-"

"No!" She cut in loudly, surprising even herself. Again she squeezed her letter and lifted it to her chest while Levi raised one eyebrow in question, shocked by her outburst. "No..." She repeated more quietly. "That's not exactly what I meant... I respect you above anyone else, Levi-Heichou. You see... I..."

Levi was staring at her, almost dumbfounded. He already knew those things. In fact, they were expectations he had for all members of the survey corps., especially those in his squad. Perhaps she felt it was the act of saying the words aloud? He supposed there was merit in that...

"... I love you." She finished, tucking her hair behind her ear. And then she let her golden eyes meet his. At that instant, she had rendered him speechless.

Levi suddenly found himself terribly uncomfortable. How was he supposed to respond? What was she expecting of him? Then finally he let out a raspy response, "Why?" It didn't sound like him at all, deep and dirty.

Petra's face turned red as she blinked and moved her gaze back to the floor. "I see you," She finally answered, "You can't fool me. You're a good man." While she spoke she had reached out and placed her hand gently on his. Her golden eyes shined as she smiled, and Levi found himself indescribably drawn to her.

Levi looked down at her hand on top of his, she loved him? That was quite a declaration... But Petra's eyes were genuine. She wasn't one to play such a prank, especially on him. He looked up and gazed over her flushed face, realizing with a spark that she was sure. His eyes were drawn down to her lips, he found himself wondering exactly what they felt like and what she would do if he just leaned over his desk to close the distance...

She slowly removed her hand from his and brought it to his face, tracing the line of his jaw before she spoke, "I don't expect anything from you..." She whispered, "But in the likely event that we all die tomorrow... I had to make sure you knew how I felt about you." She let her eyes lock with his once more before taking a few steps back and turned around toward the door. "I have to go give this to my father before it gets much later," She explained, holding up the letter.

"Petra." Levi said before she could leave the office. She turned her head just enough so that her bright eyes met yet again with his, urging him to continue. "Return when you've finished."

Her eyes widened at his words, they weren't a request, but a command and her face flushed pink but she nodded and then went on her way. *

Lance Corporal Levi raised the limp hand to his lips, "Goodbye..." He whispered ruefully.

It took all of his strength to let go of her hand. He found himself longing for the warmth of her flesh, her soft lips... another embrace. Like the one they had shared the night before.

But now that was impossible. He would never see her smile again. Never feel her hands tracing over the bare skin of his back and the muscles on his arms. He'd never feel her hair lightly brush over his bare chest, tickling his skin. He would never pull her chin up and look into her bright eyes, see the blush rise on her cheeks... He'd never taste her lips again, god, he'd already forgotten what it was like...

Maybe if he had never been given the opportunity... if he'd never known what it was like to take her and make her his, he wouldn't have to feel this shit now... Was never knowing better than knowing what he'd have to live without?

That was one thing even Levi wasn't sure of.

The one thing he knew for certain what that he'd never regret a single moment spent with her. Even if they were few and far between...

But it didn't really matter now, did it?

Irritated with himself and his thoughts, Levi turned away from he and launched himself up into the trees.

He had never felt more pathetic in his life.

The worst part of it all was that he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do- nothing he could have done, no insane obstacle he could have overcome, even if he had been there with her. Hell, he would have ended up another mangled heap on flesh on the ground next to her. But here he was, breathing. He had a terrible knack for staying alive.

"I will stand by your side. Always. I would gladly sacrifice everything, even my life. For you."

How he wished he would have at least reciprocated those words. There was so much he still wanted to say. He had convinced himself that there was still time after they had spent their night together. At one point he had even let his guard down to the point where he thought he'd have the rest of their lives to say everything he wanted to say to her. Levi laughed once, it was dark. Bitter. You're a fool.

But she had taken the initiative. She had made her feelings known, while he had stayed unbearably silent. For all he knew, she may have just thought he was fucking her for the sake of fucking her. Because he could. Because she'd let him. His chest ached at the thought.

"I see you. You can't fool me. You're a good man." Her voice echoed in his head. It was deafening.

Levi shook his head, annoyed with himself. All his uncertainty, his doubt, could have easily been erased had he only known the right words to say to her the night before...

He balled his hands into fists and slammed his knuckles into the bark of the tree, relishing in the pain. It was what he deserved. He was only lying to himself. He'd known. He'd fucking known the right words to say. But he stayed silent, thinking maybe, just maybe, his actions could convey what he was unable to form into words. What he was too scared to voice. Words he was unable to speak when it had truly mattered. And now she was dead.

His grey eyes stung as he tore them away from the bloody, ravaged ground below him.

He should have told her...

And then, as if she were still alive, golden eyes shining in this setting sun, standing beside him with that smile that cut him deeper than he'd ever thought possible, he murmured, "I love you too."

Then Levi took off wordlessly into the trees.

**A/N: (18APR2016)

So after like... three years or so, I decided to come back and edit this just a bit. Fixed grammatical errors, spelling, all that jazz. Although I guarantee there's still mistakes in here somewhere.

All the attention this story has received has been amazing, even after all this time.
Thank you 3