Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and its characters. I do own the plot and any original characters contained within this piece.

Note: Originally published in adult-fanfiction and archiveofourown.

Warning: The universe in which this story happens contains very well-endowed men (the largest of which will be thirteen inches in length) as well as women capable of enjoying having intercourse with such men. If this offends you severely, I suggest you withhold from reading this piece as well as all the other associated stories.

Ino ambled across the streets of Konoha without the usual spring in her steps. It had been two weeks since her pink-haired best friend went on a mission to Kiri. Sakura had told her before leaving that the mission would be particularly long, but Ino didn't know that it would take this long. She was already starting to miss their late-night phone conversations where she could be as nasty and kinky with her comments as she could. It wasn't that she didn't trust her other girl friends, but she just couldn't speak as freely with them as she could with Sakura.

'You can't exactly blabber about how disappointed you were with your one-night stand with the Hyūga heiress, can you?' the twenty-year-old kunoichi thought, 'Compare the insignificance of that to her usual concerns about peace treaties spanning several countries.' Tenten was a year older, so it was hardly appropriate to chat about things such as hidden desires, hunky male models and porn actors with her. Unless they were drunk, that is. Kurenai, who had become closer to the members of Team 10 since Asuma's passing, was a decade and a half her senior, so it was just plain awkward no matter how motherly the red-eyed beauty had become to her and her teammates.

Kami, she missed her friend. The mission couldn't have been worse in timing. Tsunade had issued an order that declared that medical-nin were to have cyclic schedules: two months of hospital duties followed by a month off. "Medical-nin need to have a life outside the hospital's white walls. Only then can they develop holistically," said the Godaime Hokage, "We can't have them develop necrophilia after not getting any for so long, can we?" Yes, the hokage had had quite a few shots of sake when she made the memorandum. The memory caused Ino to giggle a little as she recalled the priceless jaw-drops from the conservative members of the Council of Elders.

The term "month off" was actually a misnomer, as missions were usually assigned to the medical-nin during these periods. Of course, mission profiles take precedence over hospital duties, so medical-nin on hospital duty may be withdrawn if they possess expertise in special fields associated with the mission. Her best friend, with her superb chakra control and excellent genjutsu, was a personal favorite for the said exception to the memorandum. Ino herself had been withdrawn from hospital duty a few times when her body switching techniques were deemed essential for the mission.

The point was that her friend had left just before she overheard some naughty tittle-tattle about her newest object of desire, and so here she was, filled to the brim with juicy gossip but with nobody to gush over it with. For Konoha's self-proclaimed "Queen of Hearsay," this was a nightmare.

"Argh! I'm really gonna go crazy!" she muttered as she kicked a pebble. A blush graced her beautiful face as she recalled the details of what she had heard. 'Could it be true?' she thought, 'I mean, I've learned that it's doesn't follow the usual rules of proportion. Maybe they were just making a stupid guess about–'

"Hey, Ino!"

Her train of thoughts was interrupted as Izumo yelled to her from Konoha's gate. Beside him was his ever-present partner, Kotetsu. She went over to them and bowed as she greeted the two men. Though she was now superior by rank, as the two chose to remain chūnin, she exercised courtesy as she still viewed them as seniors by age. However, this respect didn't stop her from inwardly grinning when she thought of all the chitchat about these two being more than just friends. Ino knew them well enough, though, to know that these rumors were far from the truth.

"You look a little down, Ino. Something bothering you?" asked Kotetsu as he looked up from the Icha Icha novel Kakashi had given him for his birthday.

"Oh, it's nothing, Hagane-san. I didn't get a mission during my month off and Sakura's not around. I'm just a little bored since I've got nothing to do, that's all. You, on the other hand, appear to be happily preoccupied with that little orange book." She leaned forward a little to inspect the cover. "Ah, one of the classics by the late Jiraiya-sama, reprinted with a foreword by friend and self-proclaimed number one fan, Hatake Kakashi. I don't understand. Why didn't Hatake-san give you some of the ones that he wrote himself? I had read from magazine reviews that the ones he wrote have much more interesting plots."

"Well…" Kotetsu began, a hint of red making its way to his cheeks. Luckily for him, the ever-present bandages hid most of it.

"The ones by Jiraiya-sama are much more smut-filled, so that's why Kakashi gave him this one. That was his request, after all," his smirking companion finished for him. The reply earned Izumo a rather hard punch to the arm from Kotetsu. Ino laughed a little at the playful banter that followed.

"Ah, Hagane-san, I didn't think those rumors about what happened last week at The Spot were true, but hearing those words from Kamizuki-san, I may have to believe them after all," said the blonde kunoichi, a playful smile on her lips.

The addressed paled considerably, stuttering. "H-h-how did you know about t-that!?" Kotetsu had dropped his book and was now standing, clearly disturbed. "Seriously, Ino, I thought everybody in the place was too drunk to recall what happened! Well, I wasn't really able to flash my entire behind while dancing since Izumo here was able to stop me before pulling my pants all the way down, so it really wasn't so bad, right? Anyway, tell me, who told you about it?"

Ino paused for a while, and then giggled a little.

She gestured to the man. "Why you did, Hagane-san. I only heard that something happened, but as you said, the details were blurry as most of the others were too drunk. You're very gracious to have narrated it to me, Hagane-san."

A scowl formed on the older man's face while his friend was unable to suppress his guffaws. "Ino, you sly fox…" he began. "Oh shut it, Izumo!" Eventually, though, he joined in on the laughter as he took his seat again. The girl certainly knew ways to extract details. After a while, he stopped snickering as he looked past the purple-clad medical-nin. "Ah, it seems your best friend is back. Go and welcome her, and stop bugging me about that… incident, okay? Shoo! And not a word to anybody, especially Tsunade-sama, got it?"

The blonde whirled around so fast that Izumo received a faceful of blonde ponytail. Seemingly unaware of the inflicted injury, Ino scanned the road ahead. Sure enough, her gaze fell on the three-man, or more aptly, two-man, one-woman and one-canine unit.

"Sakura, you bitch! What took you so long!?" screeched the ecstatic kunoichi as she ran towards the tired-looking group. Behind her, Kotetsu yelled something about her not promising anything while Izumo muttered something about getting some hair in his mouth.

The two male jōnin said nothing, apparently used to the blonde's use of expletives as a form of endearment. Ino tackled the pink-haired kunoichi into a bone-crushing embrace, spinning around madly as she did so. The combination of the motion and exhaustion caused Sakura to lose balance and fall unceremoniously on her back. "Ugh, Ino…" she moaned, "I'm really tired right now, so just leave us be for a while to wrap everything up with the hokage and finally get some rest."

"But, but…" started Ino, but looking at the similar expressions on the faces of the other two ninja, she sighed in defeat and stood up. She was about to offer her hand to help Sakura up but the dog-nin had already placed one arm behind the pinkette's neck and another behind her knees, lifting her with negligible effort.

"You seem really tired, Sakura. I can carry you home if you want. I know where you live anyway. I can just tell Tsunade-sama that you're drained and went home to rest already," said Kiba. Ino giggled a little at the handsome ninja's display of chivalry. 'So typical of Kiba to act as such,' she thought.

The pinkette immediately leapt out of the dog-nin's arms, appearing embarrassed and blushing furiously. "Oh, come off it, Kiba. What would Tsunade-shishō say at such lack of professionalism if I didn't meet with her after a mission? I would appear… weak. I don't want that. She wouldn't want that, especially from her apprentice."

"Oh come on, Sakura. Why are you turning down Kiba's generous offer? I know a lot of girls who would faint on the spot if they received a similar offer from him. Besides, I bet it's pretty comfortable being braced against… these," said the blonde medical-nin as she poked at the firm and defined musculature of the tall ninja's smooth arms and chest. The dog-nin's black jacket was missing, probably destroyed during the mission, so he was just in his tight mesh shirt and black pants. 'I, sure as hell, ain't complaining!' the blonde thought to herself as she eyed the handsome dog-nin's impressive physique. "Lookin' good, Inuzuka," she voiced out, winking playfully at the addressed.

"Of course, babe!" replied Kiba, flexing a little as he did, "Have you only noticed now?"

The two shared a few laughs while Sakura snorted. "Ugh, just get a room, you two!" she exclaimed as she stomped ahead of the group to enter the village.

Ino raised an elegant brow in askance. 'What was that all about? Hmm…' She jogged after her friend, leaving the guys behind. "Hey," she whispered to the irate pinkette, "why am I sensing some anxiety from you when you're with those boys? Did something happen? Did they bully you or anything? If they did, just tell me. I can simply switch bodies and make them cut off their own–"

"Heavens no, Ino! Don't do that! You know they're good friends and they would never do anything of the sort. Just drop it, Ino. I'm just… really tired right now. I'm not thinking straight," replied the medical-nin. The pink-haired kunoichi then proceeded to mutter about how it would be such a waste or something, blushing all the while. Ino couldn't quite catch it, even with her trained hearing, so she simply shrugged and continued to accompany her friend through the streets of Konoha. The group was getting quite a fair share of stares and whispers from the people. After all, theirs was quite an attractive bunch.

After a while, the silence was broken unexpectedly by no less than the least talkative person from the group. "Kiba and I will be proceeding to the hot springs after meeting with the hokage to relax and unwind. Would the two of you like to join us?" the bug-nin inquired. Ino could've sworn she heard quite a few of the girls ask their parents' permission to go to the public bath right after they heard the statement.

"Er, no thanks, Shino. I can just take a dip in my tub at home," replied a flustered Sakura.

'Something is seriously wrong with this girl,' Ino thought. "Is that a come-on, Shino?" the blonde teased, wagging her brows at the tall bug-nin.

The dog-nin chuckled at the blonde's antics while Shino answered, "Hmm… Take it as you will, Ino, but I simply believe that it'll help team dynamics if we held such activities. Do you seriously not wish to reconsider, Sakura?"

"C'mon, Sakura! Don't be such a prude granny!" said the blonde kunoichi as she elbowed her best friend playfully.

"I am not a prude granny, Ino! Geez…" Sakura said. "I really can't go this time, Shino. I have more… immediate concerns at the moment. I'm not rejecting the offer because I'm a prude, got it?" said the pink-haired kunoichi, directing her last statement at the annoying blonde beside her.

"Yeah, yeah, of course you're not," the blonde stated blandly. Ino had to smile a little as the dog-nin, in all his muscular manliness, now sported an adorable pout on his lips. It didn't seem to have any effect on Sakura, though, as the kunoichi turned around and continued walking to the Hokage Tower and a bit briskly at that. 'Weird,' thought the pinkette's blonde best friend.

After a while, they reached their destination and were told to wait by Shizune as she went to inform the blonde hokage of their team's arrival. Given the lack of seats available, the group simply chose to lean against the walls of the long corridor leading to the hokage's office.

Ino took it upon herself to "update" her best friend about the "interesting things" that happened in the village while the latter was away on the mission. She was somewhat annoyed because Sakura kept either dozing off or spacing out and blushing, rubbing her legs together and cradling her face in her hands. 'What the hell?' Ino thought. She could've sworn she saw the edge of the dog-nin's lips twitch a little. 'Even Kiba has noticed, it seems, and finds it amusing. Well, it is quite funny when you think about it.' The pretty blonde was just about to ask her best friend what the hell was wrong with her when the door opened.

"Tsunade-sama will see you now," said the senior medical-nin. The members of the team nodded and began to move for the office. "Oh, Sakura, Ino, I would just like to remind you that your hospital duties will be starting tomorrow so rest up, okay?" The two kunoichi nodded in acknowledgment.

"I'll just meet up with you guys at Vapor Style at around ten o'clock, okay?" stated the blonde kunoichi.

"Indeed, that would give us ample time to get a change of clothes from our homes. Very well, then. We'll see you there at that time, Ino," replied the tall, stoic ninja.

Getting the reply she needed, the blonde kunoichi turned around to make her way back to her apartment to get a change of clothes. As such, she was unaware of the bug-nin's lingering gaze. Sakura went back outside to call the mission leader and caught him in that position. Though the man's eyes were hidden from view, it didn't take much brain power to deduce that the tall Aburame was staring at her best friend's retreating form. With a knowing smile etched on her lips, she placed a hand on his shoulder. The black-haired man turned sharply, apparently caught off-guard, and then proceeded to enter the hokage's office with the pink-haired kunoichi before closing the door.