Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Gundam Wing AC.

Pairings: Brief 1xR, 1x2/2x1

Rating: M (for future sexual content)

Warnings: language, yaoi, awkwardness, dry humor, a socially clueless Heero

Summary: Heero find out about Duo crushing on him in a round-about way, which leads to an awkward first date.

FUN FACT: Violet eyes are real, not so much purple as they are a blue-grey (there are numerous shades of violet). It's an incomplete form of albinism. Elizabeth Taylor had this beautiful, rare genetic trait. I always wondered where the "violet eyed" Duo came from, so I researched violet eyes. The more you know! (learning is fun)

Backwards

Changing in the locker room after a rigorous workout, Duo braided his clean damp hair, sneaking quick glances at a freshly showered Heero Yuy who's tan sculpted body was sprinkled with beads of dripping water. Heero didn't notice his best friends' surreptitious glimpses as he slipped on fresh dark-blue boxer briefs and towel dried his moppy hair. The two partners continued dressing in the noisy Preventer locker room, not paying much attention to the conversations around them until two men in the next row began talking about them.

"God, did you see the way Agent Maxwell stared at Agent Yuy in the gym?" A male voice asked.

"Pft, yeah. He always ogles Yuy like that," a second voice responded.

Heero gazed at the ceiling, listening intently. Duo froze, petrified half way through braiding his hair.

"Does he really? I mean he was staring at the guy like he was a piece of meat," male voice number one stated, sounding slightly disgusted.

The second male added, "Yup, all the damn time. Funny thing is, Yuy never seems to notice."

Jerking his head to the left, Heero gawked confused at his best friend. Duo returned the gaze from his side vision, only he wasn't confused at all, he was terrified.

"Rumor has it that Maxwell has had a crush on Yuy for like, ever," the second voice chuckled. "Too bad, too. Maxwell is a good lookin' guy. He could get any gay dude here, but he lusts after his best, straight friend."

Grabbing his shirt, slamming his locker shut, Duo picked up his keys and wallet from the metal bench, and ran from the locker room, not caring to finish his signature braid. Heero watched stunned as Duo bolted, blushing bright red, face skewed with misery.

Searching high and low for his violet eyed partner Heero checked their shared office, Trowa's and Wufei's office, the underground shooting range, and the cafeteria. That had been his best bet. Duo was known for being a bottomless pit, he could consume copious amounts of food. In a last-ditch effort, the messy haired man checked Une's office.

As he barged in his Commander glared up at him from her desk, baffled.

"Can I help you, Special Agent Yuy?" she questioned.

"Has Duo been here?" He demanded.

"No. Now if you will, please, get out of my office."

Stalking out of the office Heero raced to the parking garage. If Duo's motorcycle wasn't there, then he would know that he had left. Upon entering, he noticed the absence of the bike.

Jumping into his four-wheel drive white truck, Heero gunned it out of HQ and continued his search.

Driving all over town, Heero didn't find Duo at any of his hot spots. Not his regular restaurants, not his favorite bars, obviously not his apartment. The tousled dark-haired man was about to give up when driving past a community park, he spied the sleek black Harley. Hastily, parking his vehicle, Heero jumped from the driver's seat, and briskly walked around the man-made lake looking for his friend.

Spotting Duo sitting on a bench alone with his elbows resting against his knees, head buried in his hands, Heero wondered what to say and what to do. He had no answers. This was not his forte. He knew he wasn't bothered by what he had learned, but he couldn't understand why his best friend would "crush" on him. It was a complicated enough trying to figure out what Relena saw in him. Giving up on attempting to understand on his own, Heero approached Duo to talk about it.

"Hey," he said.

Looking up, Duo wasn't surprised Heero had found him. "Hey."

Taking a seat next to his friend, Heero let a few moments of silence pass before speaking. "Is what they said true?" he asked.

Hands dangling between open knees, head hung low, Duo couldn't lie. He nodded.

Sucking in a large breath, Heero questioned, "For how long?"

Duo snorted. "Since, I don't know, half way through the war."

"That was six years ago."

"Yup."

"You've liked me for that long?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"Yeah," Duo blurted. "But look, this doesn't have to change anything, alright? I'll get over it."

"Six years is a long time for not getting over it."

"Yeah well, it hasn't been constant the whole time."

"Explain."

Sighing in defeat, running a hand through his bangs, Duo confessed, "Sometimes I like you more than others. Like when I'm dating someone, I don't like or think of you as much, but it's still there. Other times...it's just there."

"Okay," Heero bobbed his head, still not quit getting it. A few minutes of awkward silence passed between the two friends as they sat unmoving on the wooden park bench on a sunny spring afternoon.

"Why do you like me?" Heero asked.

Duo pardoned, "Why?"

"Yeah, why? I'm not the most likeable person."

"Ha, yeah I know tha-"

"I'm arrogant."

"Yeah well -"

"Definitely off-putting."

"Of course, but-"

"I've been told I'm smug."

"That doesn't-"

"And cold."

"Sort of, bu-"

"Emotionally repressed."

"Maybe a lit-"

"And I lack social grace. No one needs to tell me that, I can tell."

"Will you let me sa-"

"I'm don't talk a whole lot."

"You sure are right no-"

"I'm pretty sure my presence makes others uncomfortable."

"Oh my God, shut u-"

"I just don't understand why someone like you would like someone like me that way."

Huffing irritatedly, Duo shouted, "Are you done now?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to answer your fuckin' question?"

"What question?"

"Why I like you."

"Oh yes, I would like to hear that answer."

"Okay, shut up then," Duo chuckled mirthlessly. That was the longest ramble he had ever witnessed Heero complete that had nothing to do with work, missions, or mission reports. "I know you're all those things. I've known you for a hella long time, but I kinda like those things about you."

Heero's face screwed in deeper confusion. "How? How can you like those things about me?"

"Because! They're what make you, you. And I just like you. If those traits bothered me then I wouldn't like you at all."

Heero's face fell back to its reserved blank gaze as he stared at the ground. Duo didn't like that. He knew it wasn't a good sign from his stoic friend. Though Heero didn't display a whole lot of emotion, he knew that old mask, the one he used when he had to kill, was bad. It was like he used it as a numbing mechanism, a way to distance and hide himself. That lack of expression told Duo that Heero still didn't quiet understand.

"You're a lot more than the things you just pointed out, ya know?"

Heero titled his head slightly to look at the violet eyed man from the corner of his blue eye.

"You're kind, and gentle, and understanding. No one gives you credit for that, but I see it. I know that you're made up of a multitude of intricate facades...I know you harbor a great amount of sadness, self-loathing, humility which you don't show on the outside. Or try not, at least."

Grunting and crossing his arms over his broad chest, Heero argued, "What makes you think I'm any of that?"

"Because," Duo explained, "I know you. I've watched you, closely. I know you better than you're probably comfortable with. Regardless, I just know you, Heero."

The two friends stared eye to eye, Duo wanting the other to see the acceptance he was offering, Heero not wanting to believe that kind of truth, trust, and honesty could exist. If Duo could see all that, all the inner turmoil, all the fake fronts and barriers to the real him, then why couldn't Relena or anybody else? She was his girlfriend, she said she loved him for who he was. So why did she seem determined to make him a new man?

An unfamiliar ping of despondency rang hard in his chest and mind.

"Do you love me?" Heero asked.

Sighing again, Duo stated, "Yeah, I love you. I love you like I love Quatre or Wufei, just a little differently. Am I in love with you? I'm not sure. I don't think I could answer that."

"...is there a difference?"

"'Ro, you're shittin' me, right?" Heero just blinked at him. "Heero, there's a huge difference from loving someone and being in love with them." Again Heero blinked, added with a shrug. "There's a lotta different kinds of love. There's platonic love, like I have for Tro, Fei, and Q. There's love for doing things. There's love for fuckin' weather! And there's the love you feel for someone who makes you feel all hot and heavy, and you want to take 'em to bed, which can grow into devotion and commitment. And when they're gone, you miss them like crazy. And when they're around you just want to make them smile and laugh and feel good!"

The mask slipping, uncertainty rising, Heero asked, "So which is it that you feel for me?"

"I'm not sure," Duo answered honestly. "I care for you more than the others, but I've never let myself go down the path of wondering if I'm in love with you...I'm not sure I want to know the answer," he finished solemnly.

Mulling all the information around in his head, Heero reflected on what Duo had said. He was devoted to Duo. Committed to him as partners, more so even. Did he want to bed him? He wasn't sure. Sex was another perplexity added on top of relationships. But all this added to his lack of understanding with his girlfriend. He was devoted to her too, committed, but there were things about her he didn't like. Relena never seemed to understand him, his past, no matter how much she wanted to.

"You find me physically attractive?" He asked.

Rolling his violet orbs, Duo groaned, "Obviously. You're hot as shit, man."

"No I'm not," Heero pressed the back of his hand to his forehead and neck. "I'm my usual temperature."

"Ack! No, that's not what I meant, ugh, just, just forget it."

Realizing his error, Heero blushed a bit, but quickly squelched the physical reaction to embarrassment. Duo hadn't meant his body temperature was hot, he was commenting on his bodily features.

Turning a critical eye on Duo, the braided man felt the weight of that heavy gaze and shrunk under it. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Appraising your physical attributes."

Slouching further on the bunch, shoulders hunched up, Duo mocked, "Thanks for not making me feel like a parasite under a microscope."

"You're far more attractive than the wiry kid I met back on the docks."

Eyebrows lifting in surprise, "Thanks...I think."

He was, very much so, more attractive at twenty-one, twenty-two? Who knew how old they really were. Duo had grown taller, surpassing Heero by a few inches. Shoulders broadened, muscle growth increased which took away from that lean, slender appearance he once had. He wasn't bulging with muscle, but carried enough to define the mature shape of a man. Some of the baby fat gone allowed the chiseled features to show through on his handsome face. The chestnut rope attached to his head was kept at the length it was during the war. Duo decided that length was long enough, if he allowed it to get any longer it would really become a real hazard. And of course there were his eyes. That strange color. Was it a stormy blue or a muted violet? They seemed to change with the lighting.

Churning his rampant thoughts over, Heero found more questions to ask.

"If..." the blue-eyed man started. "If we were, you know, together. Would you try to change me?"

A swift "No" was his answer.

"Relena says she loves me."

"I'm sure she does."

"Then why does she try so hard to change me?" Heero asked, blue eyes pleading for the harsh, slightly unwanted truth.

Duo didn't know much about their relationship. Relena and Heero had only started "dating" eight, nine months ago? He wasn't keeping tabs. Duo didn't even go to the small gatherings or parties she threw. He was rarely assigned to her guard duty. He really didn't know what Heero was talking about.

So he asked, "Tell me how she tries to 'change' you?"

"She makes me dress up for her parties, even when I don't want to go."

"Well, you gotta do stuff you don't always wanna do when you're inna relat-"

"She's always telling me to smile."

"You've got a real beauti-"

"She constantly asks me what I'm thinking about."

"Well, your thou-"

"She keeps asking me about my past, even though she knows I don't want to talk about it."

"Getting to know each others pasts is nor-"

"She's always correcting my manners, telling me I'm using the wrong fork. Well there's four fucking forks on the damn table! How am I suppose to know which one to use! She's always asking me why I'm not romantic, or thoughtful, or goddamn cuddly enough for her! She has this retarded, unfounded notion that I need her help to freaking function! Like I'm her own personal charity chase! Like I'm-"

"Calm down!" Duo yelled, grabbing his friend by the shoulders. Heero hadn't even realized how worked up he had gotten until Duo shook him. Again, the blank mask arose. "Heero," Duo sighed. "...it sounds to me like Relena is in love with the idea of you."

"What does that mean?"

"She loves what you represent, loves what you stand for, but not you as a person."

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Heero questioned, "You don't feel that way?"

"If I liked you that way, then I wouldn't find you're smugness, awkwardness, or critical mind endearing."

"Maybe I should date you instead," the dark-haired man muttered. Duo snorted, but Heero's mind was on a whole other roll. "No seriously, maybe I should."

"Heero we can't."

"Why not?"

"We're partners, for one!"

"So what? Let's go on a date."

"I'm not going on a date with you while you're in a relationship with Relena."

Pulling out his phone, Heero started tapping away at the touch screen. Duo didn't think much of it since his friend usually got consistent messages from their Commander. Rolling his violet eyes, Duo ignored the absurd, but normal behavior of his friend.

"There," Heero stated.

"There, what?"

"I'm not in a relationship anymore."

Disbelief dawned Duo's heart-shaped face. "Dear God, please don't tell me you just broke up with her via text message!"

"Course I did."

"HEERO!"

"What?"

"That's the number one worst way to break up with someone!"

"Why? It's quick, efficient, and gets the message across. Literally."

Yanking the cellular device from his friends grasp, Duo read the recently sent text. "Holy motherfuckin' shit! All you said is, 'I break up', who does that?! Or phrases it that way? Is that even a complete sentence?"

"Me? Why is that bad?"

"Ugh, it's bad on so many fuckin' levels."

"Well, what's done is done."

Phone vibrating in his hand, Duo read the response message. "Well, she replied."

"What she say?"

"She said, and I quote, 'Wow, seriously? Fuck you.'"

"See, we're over. So let's go on a date."

"NO!"

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"'Because' is not an answer."

"Look, Heero," Duo placated, "I don't think you realize what's at stake for me."

"Relatively nothing."

"No, not nothing. What if I fall harder for you? What if you don't like me that way, what if I get my fuckin' heart broken?"

Standing up, Heero turned to face Duo fully. "I'm not set out to hurt you," he amended. "If we do this, and I do end up hurting you, I'll understand if you push me away, but I think it's better we do this and figure shit out."

"How? How can doing this be better?"

"Since when are you the type to back down from something?" Heero taunted. "Either you face this fear, face the possible horrid end, and go on one damn date with me. Or live the rest of your life knowing I gave you the chance, and you," Heero pointed a finger at Duo's chest, "You shot it down."

Cracking his neck in annoyance, Duo weighed his options. Sure, he could accept the offer that was being handed to him on a silver platter, but what were the consequences? Maybe he would find out that his infatuation with Heero was just that, infatuation. Or maybe the deep, unexplored emotions would arise and present his true affections. He may end up broken-hearted, but was that worse than not knowing? If he were crushed...all time heals rotten wounds...right?

"Okay," the braided man conceded.

"Tonight then?"

"Sure, I'll pick you up around seven-thirty, eight o'clock."

"Alright, see you then," Heero stated with a smirk and walked to his truck.

Completely, and utterly unsure of the whole god forsaken situation, Duo found himself standing outside Heero Yuy's apartment door. He had few options. One, would have been to call ahead and cancel. The other, was to go through with the impromptu date. One option that crossed his mind would never be on the docket. Standing Heero up. There was no way in hell he was going to do that. Not a chance. No existing way into, or out of hell would he do that. Heero didn't deserve that. And how could he cancel? Duo wanted this, that he knew. Wanted it more than anything, though this weird, round about way was not what he had fantasized about.

Knocking on the door, Duo swallowed his fears and got on with what he was sure to be the most interesting, awkward night of his life.

Heero flung the door open and to Duo's own surprise, he laughed at his friend. There in front of him was Heero fuckin Yuy, done up in an expensive tux as if he were going to a ball. And holding a hand full of flowers.

"What...in the fuck...are you wearing?...And what the fuck is with the roses? Seriously," Duo asked trying to stifle his chuckles.

Gesturing at his ensemble, Heero calmly proclaimed, "This is what I wear on dates...with Relena." Heero was quickly grasping the awkwardness created by his own ignorance.

"Well, you're not going out with her tonight. You're going out with me, and I don't need a bouquet of motherfuckin' roses. We aren't going to a five-star restaurant. We will be dining at the local diner this evening, sir." Duo ended his sarcastic taunt with a deep bow at the waist. "I suggest you change in to appropriate attire for this nights endeavors."

Rolling his blue eyes, tossing the red roses past Duo, Heero asked, "What the hell should I wear then?"

"Anything you're comfortable in 'Ro."

"Fine." Heero slammed the door in Duo's face. Releasing his laughter, which eased his tension, Duo rubbed his face. /Shoulda know, ha. Course Relena would have made him where a tuxedo for every goddamn date./ Moments later, Heero reopened the door wearing dark blue jeans and his favored green tank.

"This okay?" He asked.

"Yes. Let's go."

Of course more awkward scenarios played out before they got their meals. Heero offered to drive, insisted even. Duo made him ride on the back of his bike. Heero opened the door to the burger joint. Duo rolled his eyes at him. When Heero attempted to pull his seat out for him, Duo placed a hand and Heero's shoulder and stated the obvious.

"You know I'm not a girl, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then what the fuck are you doing?"

"I-I...uh, I," Heero stammered.

"Get grip, bro. This is our first date, you don't have to romance me."

"Okay," Heero sighed, feeling extremely uncertain of himself.

Sitting at the table, Duo strived to ease Heero's obvious apprehensions. Beginning with his usual asinine chatter was his best bet, and it worked. Heero fell into the usual rhythm of their friendship which made Duo very happy. After all, if he was to give this "date" an honest go then good, easy conversation would be a decent start. They chatted in a friendly way, ate greasy cheeseburgers with deep-fried french fries. The diner was you're typical americana classic rendition of the nineteen fifties, so when Heero asked Duo if he wanted to dance - again relying on his pervious dating experiences - Duo cocked an eyebrow.

"There's no one dancing here, and there's no a dance floor. We'd look pretty retarded dancing between the tables."

"But there's music."

"The coffee shop we go to in the morning plays music too, but you've never asked me to dance there," Duo teased.

"Those weren't dates."

"Dude, you don't have to try so hard."

"I'm not! I like dancing," Heero defended.

"Really?"

"Yes, but not that clubby kind of dancing. Real dancing."

"Okay," Duo soothed. "If we go on a second date, we'll go somewhere we can dance."

"...am I really trying that hard?" Heero asked, tearing his napkin into little shredded pieces.

"Seems so to me, but that's just because of the tux, flowers, and all the other shit you think you're suppose to do."

"You don't like those things?"

"Well, if you had just done one of them it would have been fine, but all of it was just too much for a first date, ya know?" Heero shrugged. "And if you're gonna give me flowers, gimme irises or spooned Ostespermums'."

"Spooned ozzie-"

"Ostespermum, it's a African flower. They're sweet. All funky lookin' and shit."

The rest of dinner went smoothly, Duo let Heero pay when he offered, opting to not make him feel awkward again. The braided man was picking up quickly that Heero was more than nervous. He decided to cut the night short, and take Heero home. They agreed on to go on a second date.

"Aren't you going to walk me to my door?" Heero asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"Isn't that what people do on dates?"

"Um, yeah."

Duo was a little more than anxious about walking Heero to his apartment door. Is he suppose to kiss him? Does Heero even want that? This was by far the weirdest date he had ever experienced.

In the elevator, Duo's cell rang. Heero watched his friend as his demeanour changed from skittish to pissed off.

"Hello?"

...

"Alex? Do I know you, Alex?"

...

"Are you a telemarketer, Alex?"

...

"Are you at the top of a tall building? Can you get to a roof quickly? JUMP OFF! You people are sick, go get a real job why don't you? Go shoot yourself in the fucking head. Why don't you get a knife and run into it? Alright, I'll talk to you later Alex."

...

"Fuck you mother, okay? Bye."

Duo exhaled heavily, feeling better for unleashing his nerves on an unsuspecting victim. He really did hate telemarketers, especially ones who called this late at night. Turning his head, he saw the bemused look Heero was giving him. Eyes wide, one eyebrow cocked, funny smirk twisting his lips.

The violet eyed man laughed nervously, "Heh, telemarketers. Hate 'em."

"Obviously."

They exited the elevator, and walked to Heero's door. The blue-eyed man turned to look at his friend. "Is this where we kiss?" he asked.

Scratching the back of his head, Duo chuckled again, "Uh, if you want to."

Heero nodded, and waited for Duo to make the first move. Shifting on the balls of his feet, Duo bobbed his head. He had thought about this moment so much, but this was so far from what he had imagined. Leaning in, he gave Heero a quick peck on the lips.

"That's it?"

"You want more?"

"I was expecting something better than that."

"Well then, why don't you kiss me?"

"Fine."

Grabbing Duo by the neck, Heero pulled his face towards his own and mashed their mouths together, their noses collided as their foreheads bumped.

"Ouch," they said in unison, backing away from each other. Duo rubbed his forehead, and Heero clutched his nose.

"Sorry," the Japanese man mumbled, blushing brightly.

Matching blush for blush, Duo snickered, "It's okay."

An uncomfortable silence fell between them.

Taking in a breath, Duo came to the decision to try it one more time. "Come here."

Heero stepped up to him, an inch or two separating their faces. Placing one hand on the blue-eyed man's shoulder, Duo leaned in and placed a soft, lingering closed mouth kiss on his friends lips. Heero melted into the embrace, knees weakening.

Pulling away, Duo opened his violet eyes, smiling at how Heero's eyes fluttered open leisurely. Now that was the kind of kiss that had plagued his daydreams.

Heero smirked. He had never felt so heated from a simple touch.

"Good night," Duo whispered.

"Yeah, night. Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow. We'll figure out something to do then."

Heero watched as Duo walked back to the elevator before entering his apartment. In the elevator, Duo slid against the steel wall to the floor. Taking deep breaths, he attempted to still his rampant heart as he grinned to himself. /That was so bizarre, but looks like we're doing it again tomorrow./ His grin broadened.