Emma hadn't really wanted to be the leader, but she knew it had to be her. Everyone else was so wrapped up with their old feuds from the Enchanted Forest; they needed someone who could be fair and objective. Who could keep them all working in one direction. Emma knew it had to be her.

After they'd wandered in the woods for an hour, she wasn't so sure.

"Are we filming a nature documentary?" Regina asked from the back, the latest in a long line of complaints, each doled out between fits of sulking. Emma didn't know which she liked least. "Because so far, on this rescue mission, there have been zero rescues but a great number of bugs and exotic plant life. So if this is going to be narrated by Sigourney Weaver, we're doing a great job."

"We are looking for Henry," Emma said acidly. "Obviously, we won't meet with much success until we actually find him, but then, the job's done. Unless you have a better idea?"

"I am so glad you asked!" Regina said, sounding admittedly gleeful. She perched herself on a fallen log, making the others stop and turn to her to avoid leaving her behind. Mary-Margaret kept marching until David corralled her by the arm and pulled her back.

Regina was smiling widely—maybe she just wanted to be included, Emma thought—lit a fireball in her hands and passed it from palm to palm like a stress toy. "I say we burn this whole jungle to the ground. If the Lost Boys give us Henry, we stop. If not, it will considerably easier to find him with all this nature out of the way."

"So… your suggestion is a natural disaster," Emma said.

"Technically not, since I'll control the fire with magic, but call it what you will."

"Regina… no."

"Well, why not?" Regina stood up. "Who put you in charge, anyway? Did you call dibs? Is that how this works? You said you were the leader first and now we all have to do what you say?"

"I'm a neutral party and…" Emma gestured around. She'd been hoping no one would ask that. "You know… savior?"

"You were the Savior in Storybrooke," Regina said coolly. "There was a prophecy. Here, you're just a dumb blonde who's good at Frenching."

"Wait, Frenching?" David said, but Emma was steam-rolling over him.

"I am Henry's mother, who else should be leading the search for him?"

Regina's nostrils flared as if she were about to breathe fire. "Because it's wholly irrelevant, I won't point out that your motherhood consists of taking care of Henry for less than a year, when he's closer to being able to vote than to needing his diaper changed. That's not being a mother; that's being a babysitter. But it doesn't matter: when someone is murdered, you don't get their best friend to look for the killer. You get a detective, someone who is qualified and experienced. What experience do you have, Emma? I'm pretty sure the only place you've led people is to a buffet!"

"Okay, that doesn't even make sense! I'm thin!"

"Emma, maybe…" Mary-Margaret cleared her throat like she was practicing a breathing exercise. "Maybe she's right. Let's be reasonable about this: you're a princess, I'm a queen. Maybe I should be in charge."

"Excuse me?!" Emma and Regina said at the same time. Emma was too shocked at agreeing with Regina to continue, but Regina hated Mary-Margaret too much to stop.

"I'm queen!" Regina said. "You only become queen when I die. I should be in charge."

"May I just remind everyone that I'm the captain of the ship that brought us all here?" Hook said, 'rhetorically'. "And I have experience commanding pirates. Not small woodland creatures and dwarves, not faceless evil minions; PIRATES." The others were all looking to him, but not in the good sense of the phrase. "A vote for me is a vote for pirates."

"We're voting now?" David asked. He was still trying to figure out that Frenching comment.

"We are trying to be good guys," Mary-Margaret said. "Well, most of us. And democracy is good. So we should vote?"

"Fine." Regina set her hands on her hips. "I've never lost an election. Under my leadership, Storybrooke was a beacon of tolerance and understanding. Under the current, unlawful leadership, child kidnappings have increased almost one hundred percent—and let's not forget the administration's shamefully accusing an innocent woman of murdering her psychiatrist."

"Oh, the one time you didn't kill someone," Emma rolled her eyes.

"Your 'leadership' was placing the entire town under a magic spell!" Mary-Margaret continued. "You're not a leader, you're a SimCity player with cheat codes! Whereas I commanded an army to unseat an unlawful ruler and restore peace to the Enchanted Forest."

"You want to talk cheat codes?" Regina sneered. "You only won because you had a bunch of fairies helping you."

"That's really homophobic," Emma said.

"Literal fairies," Mary-Margaret told her.

"Oh."

"And after your so-called victory, you were in office for less than a year! Your only real crisis was me cursing all of you, and you handled that by sending a baby to New Jersey!"

"It worked, didn't it!?"

"Let's just vote," David said. He was pretty sure he'd figured out what Regina meant by Frenching and he didn't like it. "I think we all know where we stand on the issues, so why wait?"

"One second!" Mary-Margaret pulled Emma aside behind a grove of trees. "I want you to vote for me."

"Mom, c'mon, let me have this one."

"You're not ready for the big seat, sweetie. But if I'm elected, I'll make you my second-in-command. You can learn all about leadership from me!"

"I thought I was your second-in-command," David said, having been eavesdropping on them in case this was about the Regina-frenching.

"David," Mary-Margaret said in exasperation.

"Alright, fine. You've got my vote."

"Actually," Regina swanned through the trees, giving them a smile. "I think Emma and David's votes shouldn't be counted."

"What?"

"They're clearly biased," Regina said. "As Mary-Margaret's family members, they should recuse themselves from the electoral process. It's only fair."

"Oh, like any of us aren't related to each other?" Emma gestured disgustedly to Hook. "He's Neal's stepfather, Neal's Henry's father, Henry's my son, so I'm Hook's… wait… stepfather, father… shit."

"We'll limit it to blood relatives," Regina declared. "After all, if you can kiss someone who isn't a blood relative, surely you can vote for them."

Emma and Mary-Margaret colored and didn't look at each other.

"Fine, I didn't want to vote anyway!" Emma said.

David crossed his arms. "I, uh… I'd like to give Mary-Margaret my endorsement?"

Regina nodded at him. "Thank you, Charming, that's a great help to my decision-making. I vote for myself."

Mary-Margaret jerked her thumb into her chest. "I vote for myself as well!"

Emma looked around. "So I can't vote, David can't vote, Gold isn't here…" She pointed "The deciding vote's Hook? That can't be right…"

"No one wants to vote for me?" Hook spread his arms. "I'm a pirate! A pirate captain! I captain other pirates!"

"I find your stand on women's issues uninspiring," Mary-Margaret said. "That means stop hitting on my daughter."

"Captain Hooks!" Regina faced him clearly and directly, making brisk and efficient hand motions. "As a voter, I want you to strongly consider what the coming administration will do for you. Do you really want your leadership to censure a man for simply expressing interest in an attractive woman?"

"I was kidding!" Mary-Margaret laughed nervously. "Hook, you can hit on my daughter all you want!"

"Mom!"

"Hook—" Regina put her hand on his shoulder. "Think long and hard about what I can do for you in office. Long. And. Hard." She rhythmically pushed on the inside of her cheek with her tongue, bulging it outward.

"Uhhh… yes, I vote for Regina as well, yes."

"She can't do that!" Mary-Margaret cried.

"Why not?" Regina laughed. "It's how you got David's vote."

"David isn't even allowed to vote."

"Then I guess you fucked him for nothing." Regina waved her off dismissively.

"Hook!" Mary-Margaret threw herself in front of him. "I may not be that kind of girl, but I can offer you something much better than that!" She held out her hand.

"A handjob?"

"No! The hand of friendship!"

"Because it's actually been a while…" Hook held up his namesake. "This was the hand I used down there."

Mary-Margaret closed her eyes like a drunk trying to keep from vomiting. "Hook, I know we've had our differences, but I am offering you a place in a circle of family that will support you and love you unconditionally. Haven't you ever wanted to—to talk about a book you read with Ruby, or enjoy a hot drink with Leroy? Just those simple, human gestures of companionship that make life worth living. I know you haven't had an easy life—you probably can't even remember the last time you really knew your place in the world. But I am offering you a place of respect in our community. And isn't that what everyone wants? To be loved and cherished and accepted?"

Hook looked to Regina.

Regina licked her teeth.

"Yeah, still voting for her."

"Motherfucker!"

Emma was running her hands through her hair. "Okay, guys, can I get a minute with Regina?"

"Certainly. I like to hear from all my constituents." Regina smiled at Mary-Margaret. "And this will give my distinguished competition time to prepare her concession speech."

Mary-Margaret vibrated with anger as Emma and Regina stepped out into the jungle. After a few minutes, they returned.

"I'm changing my vote to Mary-Margaret," Regina said.

Mary-Margaret threw up her arms in celebration, before David wrapped his arms around her and lifted her in the air. Regina gave a desultory power salute. Hook nudged.

"Do I still get…?" He pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

"Yes. You may push your tongue against the inside of your cheek as much as you want."

Pretty soon, Emma got pulled into Mary-Margaret and David's victory celebration. She usually didn't like being touched but oh, well, hugging.

"Wait," Mary-Margaret said. "How'd you get Regina to vote against herself? Usually it takes her a lot longer to self-destruct like that."

"I just told her that I'd owe her one."

"Owe her one what?"

Mary-Margaret turned to Regina, who shrugged eloquently.

"Let's just say men aren't the only ones who can lose office over a sex scandal."