Losing It All

A Danny Phantom fanfic

YAJJ

Special thanks to all those who reviewed/favorited/followed my DP one-shot King Dash! Man, it's only been a month since I posted it but it feels like forever ago...

Date: 10/1/2013 12:00 pm

A/N: Why? Because I have to give Vlad some credit. Before he went batshit crazy, he was a pretty cool dude, especially to Danny after the Nasty Burger explosion. And, hurt!Danny. Because who doesn't love hurt!Danny?
Happy DP Angst Day, by the way! This was posted for DP Angst Day, NOT written for it! I thought of this ages ago...

Summary: After waking up from a terrible nightmare, Danny seeks out someone who can comfort him. Unfortunately, in this big estate far away from home, the only person is Vlad, who has taken him in after the Nasty Burger explosion. But will Vlad prove to be more help than Danny would have guessed?

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, but I am officially stocked up on every single episode, am claiming everything as mine via Danny's DP insignia, and cannot wait for the rumored fourth season and live action movie.

For the fourth night in a row, Danny woke up screaming.

Images ran through his brain. The Nasty Burger. Lancer. Mom. Dad. Jazz. Sam. Tucker. All there, because of him. All because he was so stupid that he couldn't take that dumb test on his own. All because he thought he could get away with cheating.

But in what world did one kid cheating equal the deaths of everyone that he loved? In what world did this kind of pain fix what hadn't even started?

Since the time he was born, life had thrown hard ball after hard ball after Danny Fenton. He'd been able to catch them up until now. Now, the one time that he screwed up, he'd missed. And because of it, he'd lost the game.

Danny turned over in the bed and buried his face into the pillows, forcing the images to stop flashing before him. He willed them out of his mind and sucked in the sickly sweet scent of a dusty old mattress hundreds of miles from home.

He could still feel the searing heat from the blast, even though it was over two weeks ago. He could still hear their screeches of horror and pain. Why hadn't they moved? What had kept them there?

The bed shook with the force of Danny's shaking attempts at not crying. His worn fingers dug into the pillow, pressing it further and further into his face. Maybe, he thought, maybe he could join them. It wasn't like the world needed Danny Fenton or Danny Phantom anymore, nor wanted him. The only people who had consistently wanted him were dead. By his own, albeit accidental, hand.

He had never wanted this. There was no one on Earth or the Ghost Zone who could deny that.

He yanked his face from the pillow and clambered up, wet eyes whipping around. His new residence was cool, big, and creaked in the night. Everything that a scary house was, or ought to be. Maybe the place was haunted.

Ha. Haunted. By, put together, one ghost. Two half-ghosts took residence at the place, though neither took particular interest in being around much of it. Phantom spent his time in his room, Plasmius in his study.

Plasmius.

Danny didn't know why he was so surprised that Vlad had taken him in after the incident. Ever since the college reunion, Vlad had fought to get Danny as his apprentice, as his son.

Now, he had all that and more… and Vlad hadn't even bothered him.

Well, he had told Vlad that his money wouldn't buy Danny. It didn't. Maybe this was fate's way of saying that he had been destined to be Vlad's apprentice. Maybe, if he'd renounced his father back then, they would all still be alive now.

God, this was all so wrong.

Was it all Danny's fault?

Danny flipped over and looked at the wall opposite him, seeing but not really seeing the picture of a large 17th century Scottish castle hanging above his dresser. Danny left it up, because then maybe he could convince himself that Vlad was, god forbid, babysitting him while Mom and Dad and Jazz went elsewhere.

Well, they had. They just wouldn't be coming back.

Danny shook his head fiercely enough to give himself a headache, clearing the thought from his mind. He struggled out of his covers and kicked them to the floor. This new room, with all of the new things that weren't really Danny's, was really starting to suffocate him. Maybe walking around would work tonight.

It hadn't the past two nights, but it was worth a shot, right?

Cold gray walls surrounded him, pictures of famous Packers glared down at him (he was pretty sure Brett Favre was up there twice, and Danny was certain he'd passed four different Ray Nitschkes). He shuddered at the cold, dank air and wished for a fire.

Wait. No, he didn't. He didn't wish, and if he did it certainly wasn't for a fire. Fires were like explosions, and Danny would never wish for an explosion. Ever.

The moon beat down on Danny when he stopped in front of a window, looking outside to the garden where he'd had another breakdown just yesterday morning. That was his third non-nightly breakdown that week! Actually, he had prided himself on making it through the day without one today.

And Vlad. Vlad had been there, in the garden. He had not helped much. But he had hovered over Danny as he wept into his hands, hovered over him like a protective shield, stopping the world from invading Danny's much needed alone time as it surely would.

Danny hadn't said thanks, but he had appreciated it all the same. He had went ghost, for the first time in two weeks, and flew up to his room to finish his breakdown in the protective safety of his room.

His room.

Danny didn't like that. He didn't like having his own room in Vlad's house. This room had once been a guest room, but now it was Danny's, but Danny's room was in Amity Park, not in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Not that Danny would ever tell Vlad that. No matter all of the differences that Vlad and he had experienced in the past, the fact remained that Danny, in all of his ghost-butt-kicking halfa glory, was a 'hero', and had one of the strongest hero complexes known to man. This urge did not allow him to, as much as he had once done this, hurt Vlad.

After all, Vlad had opened up his house and his arms for Danny, at a time when Danny had most desperately needed him.

Danny shuddered and moved on past the window, watching the jerseys and pictures instead of the endless walls of boring gray.

Phantom hadn't shown his face much. Plasmius had a little more, but even that 'little more' was practically not at all. The last time that he had, before the garden breakdown incident of course, was the day of the incident, watching his family and friends be blown to smithereens before Phantom's very eyes, unable and almost unwilling to do anything about it.

Danny quickly shook his head, bringing his hands up to hide his eyes. He did not - did not! - want to cry again. He was so sick of crying.

"...Daniel?" said a hesitant voice further down the hall.

Danny stiffened, but did not move his head. If he did, he feared that the newcomer - a man that he both hated and was starting to see as some kind of surrogate-something. Uncle? Brother? Father? - would see them and scold him for his tears. After all, Danny was a boy, and boys weren't supposed to cry. He didn't make any indication that he had heard.

Danny heard the clicking of Vlad's shoes as he approached his new charge, all cautious and worried. Vlad didn't touch him. Vlad hadn't touched him, not since he had laid his hand on Danny's shoulder the day that he'd come to the mansion, two weeks ago. He hovered over Danny protectively, and it occurred to Danny that it was three in the morning and Vlad ought not have been up at all.

"Daniel?" said Vlad again, his voice softer.

Danny shook his head again, hoping that Vlad would just leave him. He felt hot pricklings on the back of his eyes, just when he really didn't want to.

A gentle hand settled on his shoulder, daring to touch him for the first time in two weeks. Danny squeezed at the bridge of his nose, fighting back his tears. He didn't want to cry, for goodness sake! He was done crying, he was sick of crying! He wanted everything to be done. He was sick of feeling, of the ache, of knowing how badly he'd failed. If he'd tried a little harder, if he'd hit his 112 MPH limit, then dangit he could have saved them! But no! Had Phantom decided that the Fentons, Sam, Tucker and Lancer were no longer a necessity? What gave him the right?

The hand snaked around to his other shoulder, and Danny reluctantly leaned against the touch. Ohh, Vlad felt so warm. Despite being half-ghost and thus being below the normal human body temperature, Vlad was not an ice-core ghost like Danny was. Rather, he was a plasma-core ghost, which gave him a less varied degree of attacks, but each of his attacks could be that much stronger. The plasma burned in the middle of Vlad's chest, right where Danny's core froze and refroze. Right where a ghost's core was generally located.

Danny sucked in the warmth like a frozen child, letting Vlad's aura warm his cold and broken heart. He sniffled pathetically, feeling the broad, powerful chest of his once-archenemy touch the top of his head. It occurred to him about then that Vlad had been tugging him closer and closer.

"Oh, Daniel," whispered Vlad. His free arm swung down to rub Danny's back.

Danny didn't say anything, instead waiting to see what Vlad had to say. Would he call Danny pathetic? Would he kick him out, thinking that Danny's weakness would deface his own precious home? He fought his hurt back, letting himself rest against the formerly non-touching man who was now holding him.

"Shh," said Vlad, as if Danny was actually crying.

And that, somehow, broke Danny. His hand dropped, but by then it was useless. The tears streamed down his face, dripping onto the floors beneath his feet. He did not - would not - sob. But he could handle the tears for now. He needed this.

He wept pathetic tears, whimpering like a baby. He felt Vlad's arms tighten around his little frame. His shoulders shook, jerking both he and Vlad fiercely though the man made no move to stop it. It was many minutes before Danny managed to calm himself enough to speak with the man who was selflessly giving him some much needed comfort. "...Why…?"

"Why what, little badger?" asked Vlad quietly, as though afraid to disturb the silence.

"Why did they have to go? Why couldn't I save them?" Danny explained, lifting his head to look up at Vlad, to look into the man's dark eyes.

Vlad sighed. He pulled Danny closer, finally closing the small gap that had been between them. He pet Danny's soft hair, but couldn't look into his eyes. He slowly shook his head. "I don't know, Daniel. You just weren't meant to, I guess." He felt Danny's fingers tense near his legs. "But don't worry. Until the day that you join them, I swear I'll watch out for you."

Danny squeezed his eyes shut, feeling tears dribble over his lids. He pulled out of the man's arms, looking up at him with a mixture of pain and curiosity. "Wh-what are you doing up…?" he asked. He took notice of the dark bruises beneath Vlad's eyes, which Danny only saw because of his night vision granted to him by his ghost powers.

Vlad shrugged a little. He shifted around in his suit. "I've been down in my lab, doing studies, experiments. Since then, I haven't been able to sleep much, you know? And I see that I'm not the only one." He reached one hand up to stroke Danny's cheek, touching the bruises beneath Danny's eyes that matched his own.

Danny shook his head in agreement, leaning forward to press against Vlad and hide the bruises, as though he was ashamed of them. "Does… does the pain ever go away?" he whispered.

Vlad's fingers moved into Danny's shirt, rubbing the fabric through his fingers. "No, little badger. I don't think it ever does."

Danny's face screwed up in realization. He reached his hand up to clench into Vlad's suit coat, clutching the fabric like a lifeline.

He broke.

Whatever had been holding back Danny's sobs decided to break just then. His shoulders shook with a ferocity that he had yet to feel at all, even through the many times that Danny has wept his woes. His fingers wound in Vlad's coat, wrinkling the material mercilessly. He didn't particularly care. Maybe when his fit was over, he'd care, but just then it was too nice not crying on his own.

Vlad couldn't have held him any tighter without suffocating him if he tried. He started rocking side to side gently, keeping a rhythm to hopefully calm Danny's tears. The boy wept hard and long, wetting Vlad's suit coat ridiculously though the man didn't care whatsoever.

Danny screamed obscenities, useless and incomprehensible, sometimes speaking to Vlad and sometimes speaking to the world. By the time he was done, his throat was hurting and raw, his cheeks were stained with salt, and Vlad's suit wasn't even approaching dry. Neither particularly cared.

The night dragged on, Danny clinging to Vlad and Vlad unwilling to admit to doing the same. The older halfa played with the hair on Danny's head as Danny started to calm down, leaning forward a little bit as though to shield the orphan from something that might be falling.

Finally approaching finished, Danny shuddered out something of a sob, pulling out of Vlad's lapel. His face turned beet red momentarily, but the flush disappeared as his heart gained yet another crack. He pressed his forehead to Vlad's suit and gripped him tight. "I just want everything to go away, Vlad. I want it all to go away." He looked up at Vlad with watery blue eyes, and was momentarily shocked by the pain and understanding hidden in Vlad's navy blue eyes. "It all hurts so much..."

"I know, little badger. I know. I'll do everything in my power to make it better. I'll make it stop hurting somehow," muttered Vlad. He looped his arms firmly around the boy and played with his raven hair. He brought his head closer to him as Danny started crying again, curling him up in a little ball of protection. "I'll find a way to make it all go away..."

And we all know what happens after that.

It's sad, but writing the word 'orphan' in this story, right at the end, finally made me realize that Danny had been orphaned in that universe. Danny. Was orphaned. I mean, I knew that, but orphans are little kids to me. Not 14-year-old kids. I knew he was orphaned, but it never really occurred to me that that made him an orphan.

Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed! Please, feel free to drop a line! All reviews will be answered via PM.

Until next time,

~YAJJ