Authors Log: Got inspired one evening. Warnings for a few language choices and references to violence. Hope you enjoy and please review. Love these guys. Sweeney out.

James T. Kirk felt that he was quite possibly the luckiest man in the galaxy right now. After all, how many others had cheated death, the ultimate no-win scenario, the way he had? Of course it hadn't felt that way six weeks (had it really been so long?) ago. His dreams still consisted of the overpowering drone of the damaged warp core, the incredible, raw agony of feeling his organs failing as his life force was sapped by the radiation, the sight of his normally calm, stoic First Officer and friend weeping for his pain and death, the emotion in those dark eyes for once unchecked. "Because you are my friend". Jim knew how much it meant to the Vulcan to be reduced to tears, how much their friendship must mean. Except, of course, it wasn't a reduction. Maybe Spock had learnt that.

Jim had learnt a lot of things too. Mainly that he had the best crew-come-surrogate family of any captain in history. He wasn't normally the kind for sentimentality. It didn't exactly fit with the cocky, flirty flyboy image he had cultivated over the years. But when Bones had told him exactly how hard each of them had fought first to avenge, then to save him, characteristically downplaying his own pivotal role, he could have sworn his heart was trying to escape from his ribcage. He was still trying to wrap his head around the image of Spock beating Khan half to death while Uhura screamed at him to stop. Spock lashing out and Uhura being the voice of reason? Now that was one hell of a role reversal. Mind you… thought Jim with rueful amusement, rubbing his neck, the memory of a memorable disagreement with his First Officer over eighteen months ago brought fresh to his mind. Wait, hadn't Chris told him to stop that 'that was a good fight' attitude. He guessed there were some things he'd never learn. He suddenly felt sorry for Bones, having to patch him up every time he had a fit of Reckless Martyr Complex Syndrome. That guy was the definition of above and beyond.

Spock had been the first to visit him in Starfleet Medical, alone. The composure was back but Jim could still see the affection behind it. Over the next few days, he had been virtually inundated with concerned crewmembers, much to McCoy's chagrin ("He's resting, dammit! What am I a Doctor or a doorstop?"). Uhura had arrived with food and strict instructions to Jim to eat it to get his diminished strength back up and seemed to be the visitor Bones objected to least on this count. Sulu and Scotty simply said "glad to have you back, Sir", accompanied by salutes. Scotty had reported that the ship was "well on the mend, the ol' girl's a fighter!". By far the most demonstrative was Riley , who had looked on Jim as an older brother since he had rescued him from the ruins of his family and home, then from starvation and Kodos's vile henchmen on Tarsus. "I'm ok, Kev. Really! You guys are gonna have to do better than that to get shot of me.". Even Carol had dropped by, clearly still haunted by the events on the Vengeance. Sure, Marcus had been a bastard but he was still her father and he had died horrifically. Family feelings didn't die that quickly. No one should have to watch their father's skull cave in under the grip of a genetically enhanced psychopath. It still scared Jim how easily they had been deceived by both of them.

The only one conspicuous by his absence was Chekov. Jim was beginning to grow concerned. Every time he asked after the young navigator, the others, particularly Scott and Sulu, had exchanged uncomfortable looks.

On the Tuesday (or was it Wednesday? The days honestly blurred into one in hospital) of the sixth week, Jim looked up from the book he was reading, hearing the door bleep. It was a real antique book from his growing collection. A bibliophilic tendency was not an idiosyncrasy people would tend to associate with someone like him but nothing beat turning real pages with that crackling sound. According to older Spock, now going by the name Selek, it was a trait he shared with his counterpart from the original timeline.

"Come in" he called.

He was very surprised and glad to see Pavel Chekov standing awkwardly in the doorway. It was almost laughable how young the Russian teenager looked in his civvies. The look on his face was not. He looked like a man about to climb the gallows.

"Keptin. Ie must apologise. I should 'ave come earlier but, weell, Ie thought you ought to know, I'm resigning mey commission."

"Bullshit!" responded Jim eloquently. There was a pregnant pause. "You can't be serious!"

"Ie am, Sir" responded the youth taking a deep breath as he stood to attention.

"And why would you do a damn stupid thing like that? C'mon, Chekov, we need you!"

"Pardon me, Sir, but Ie think you would all do wery much better without me" Jim was shocked to see tears gathering in the kid's blue eyes "Iem a failure!"

"Seriously, Chekov, where has this come from?" demanded Jim.

"I am always making mistakes when it really matters! Last year, mey incompetence with the transporter lost Miester Spock his mother-"

"He doesn't blame you for that! He never did. If he blamed anyone, it was himself. And was this the same 'incompetence' that saved me and Sulu from freefalling to our deaths? Nobody, bar Scotty, could have executed that beam-up! And you seem to be forgetting who's bright idea helped us escape from Nero."

"It ees more zan zat, Sir. The Vengeance Incident was all mey fault. If Ie hadn't completely" the boy struggled to find the Federation Standard word, his accent growing stronger "botched Miester Scott's training that he did with me the warp core wouldn't have failed so the Admiral wouldn't 'ave 'ad ze time to catch up with us before we were back to Earth and we wouldn't 'ave lost all those comrades and you wouldn't 'ave 'ad to die in pain! Ie should have gone in. It was mey responsibility-"

Jim debated whether to opt for gentleness or tough love and decided on a combination. "Pavel Andreievich Chekov, stop right now!" he didn't quite yell "Firstly, The Enterprise is my ship so the safety and actions of the crew are my responsibility so I would never have let you go in there any more than Scotty you got that? And we don't know what the hell that sonofabitch Marcus was capable of so don't give me what ifs and maybes. We just have to play with the hand fate gives us and deal with the consequences. For all we know, Marcus could have sabotaged the ship before we left. Also, you are just about the most bright and talented young officer on any ship in Starfleet. You're not only a great asset to the ship and to me but a great friend to everyone in the crew and every inch their equal, so you can stop the inferiority complex, okay?". Jim had risen stiffly and painfully to a standing position, his atrophied muscles protesting and now stood over the diminutive Ensign.

This appeared to be too much for Pavel, who enveloped his Captain in a hug, with a sob and a heavy swallow "Thankyou, Keptin". Jim grinned and clapped him on the back "Hey, where would we be without our Wonderkid? And it's Jim off duty ok? I've only just got that one over to Spock!"

"Yes, Sir" Chekov said with a watery grin.

Doctor Leonard McCoy entered Jim's private room to administer his vitamin hypo (damn fool didn't exactly look after himself) to find the extraordinary sight of the Captain and his young helmsman embracing. Well the kid had been torturing himself for weeks about the whole situation. He needed a hug. Leonard caught himself before he got to sappy. He had a reputation to uphold after all.

"Jim, you crazy idiot, what are you doing out of bed?!"

Authors Log – Supplemental: I love TOS but find nuTrek easier to write for for some reason. Hope I got the characters right and that you all liked. This was inspired by my great affection for the sweet little Russian and for Enterprise friendship in general. I imagined he would feel like this about it, bless him. Apologies to those who have seen/written similar 'missing scenes' and for butchering Chekov's accent. Please, please leave a review even if it is to pelt me with tribbles! Tried to get a few TOS references in there. Sweeney out :)