Uh…hi.

Yeah, I know, I haven't written in so long, and I've deleted all my stories, and

Please don't kill me.

The reason I deleted all of them is because…well…I reread it and was horrified at how illiterate it was. I've only left the ones that many people seemed to like but I don't think I'll be continuing them anytime soon. Sorry!

Anyways, I wanted to write this story because for a long time I've been so, so, so sick of Bella's inability to function biologically whenever Edward's around. Yeah, we get it. He's hot. Ugh. And the fact that she's portrayed as having no power to lord over Edward really gets to me. Really, if I was in a relationship like that, no matter how handsome and literate and all things Edward the boy is, I would not want to date him. Anyone agree?

I'm still very young and still learning how to write so please don't be too harsh on me. I've gotten a creative writing English test soon so this was also a little something to get the juices running. By the way, I'm completely stuck as to what to write, so if any of you have an idea regarding the prompt 'flight', please message me or leave a review! Thanks

The toneless lecture that Mr Varner was giving would have sold millions if it replaced the instant sleeping pill. His droning voice was like the hum of a distant construction site. Constant, noisy and drove everyone nuts. Perhaps that was why he had been gifted his unfortunate nickname by the united pupils of Forks High: the nut.

The tedium of his speech was only interrupted when he, quite quickly and without notice of any sort, decided to ask Bella for whether the quote from the text was sarcasm or irony.

Poor Bella. She was quite put on the spot. And honourably sticking to the stereotypical character of a shy, lovably damsel in distress, she stammered and blushed becomingly whilst cursing the man to the deepest fires of hell. Dammit, he was an English teacher! Didn't they fill him in on the differences of sarcasm and irony in his degree? Edward, seated next to her, tried to muffle his laughter in fear of raising the ire of his lover. He for some unaccountable reason had always found her stammer highly amusing.

"Your perfect literacy is especially annoying today." Bella grumbled as Mr Varner turned to Jessica for the answer, who had even more unfortunately been sleeping on her desk. The wet patch on her book did not escape the notice of all her classmates and several giggled at it. Edward quickly directed his eyes down to his desk but she still saw his cheeks lifting as he grinned.

"The perks of having a beau from the 20th century," Edward quipped back unabashedly.

"But really, I'm serious. Is there anything at all that I'm better at than you?"

"From past examples, it would appear not." He grinned mockingly at Bella, eyes dancing merrily away. Although Bella knew that he was only joking, she could not help the petulant pout that graced her mouth. His words struck a true note; he had, after all, bested her at everything. Even cooking! For heaven's sake, he couldn't even taste any of the food he made. It was astonishingly irritating.

Bella, rapidly tiring of his witty responses, decided that it was time for some childish display of superiority.

"Oh yeah? Can you do this?" she stuck her tongue out and folded it to resemble a clover.

Edward looked at her in incredulity while his topaz eyes widened comically. Apparently he could not.

And then he burst into a stream of highly undignified snickers, uncommonly found in a centenarian. Bella blushed but remained in her victory.

Edward spent the rest of the lesson sticking his tongue out and trying to best Bella at the tongue-tricks competition. It was highly amusing for Bella and kept her sufficiently entertained until the bell signalled the end of the lesson. The cherry on the cake was added when Edward admitted defeat and she won the competition.

…

The English lesson had given her a good boost on her ego, and Bella remained in fabulous humour for the rest of the school day. She even went as far as to obediently agree when Alice insisted her come over to the Cullen house after school and try on the clothes that she had bought for her. Not that she had much of a choice anyways.

The ride to the vampire lair was filled with Alice's bubbly mood.

"I think you'll really like the white cardigan I bought yesterday. It'll go together adorably with the navy dress I got with it! Oh, and I think Jasper got the new remake on Pride and Prejudice. Apparently it's so much better than the 1998 version. I'm so excited!" Edward thought that he could almost see the tips of Alice's spiky hair tremble with her glee. Bella was still chattering happily on about the pros and cons of the 1998 version of Pride and Prejudice with Alice when they arrived.

"What is that sound? Are they fighting?" Bella asked worriedly now at the racket coming from the mansion.

"No, just Jasper and Emmett trash talking each other. They've been playing chess since yesterday night; and it doesn't look like it'll end anytime soon." Edward replied wearily.

The sight that greeted them when the group stepped on the threshold would have put bedlam to shame. Jasper and Emmett were bickering loudly on the either side of a giant chessboard, made by fitting nine square boards together. Bella gaped. Alice just danced over to Rosalie and proceeded to play with her.

"You are so going down, Jasper. Why don't you give up already? I've already gotten five of your knights."

"And I've gotten six of your rooks, what's your point?"

"Who's winning?" Bella asked curiously as she tentatively approached the game. Edward almost laughed at how she eyed it like a rattlesnake about to choke her to death.

"I am." The boys answered simultaneously, which lead to more fighting.

"Hey Bella, you should play with Edward since you're the only one who he can't cheat with. I've been dying to see him lose at chess for decades now," Emmett guffawed. Preoccupied with his conversation with the little human, the burly vampire didn't notice as Jasper moved Emmett's queen one square to the left.

"Um… I don't know how to play. I've never played chess." Bella told him shyly.

"What, never?" Jasper asked incredulously. Bella nodded.

"I'll teach you." He waved her down to sit between Emmett and himself. Edward sighed and sat next to Alice and Rosalie, who were continuing their game with frightening intensity. Rosalie had lost two times in a row already.

"So this is how you set up the board. The rooks are always at the ends, and then knight comes next. The bishop…"Bella listened attentively as Jasper instructed her with his regal air. Emmett swapped some of Jasper's pieces when he was especially engrossed.

…..

"So…if I move my pointy hat here, since my horse is to your left and my lighthouse to the front, your king is trapped! Am I right?" Bella glanced up at Edward.

Said Edward was speechless. How had this happened? Was he really this helpless without his sixth sense? Yes, said the chessboard. Really, Edward, you lost at chess of all the things? Mocked the little pawn. This could not be happening. It was simply illogical.

"Um…" Bella was shocked. She had actually made Edward Cullen, the Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, at lost for words. It was worth listening to all those complicated instructions for this moment.

"Whoa, would you look at this! Edward actually lost at chess! To Bella!" Emmett's rambunctious laugh shook the house. The Cullens all gathered around to see this prodigious sight, much to Edward's dismay.

"I always knew that you were my favourite human," Emmett grinned and mussed Bella's hair.

"Nice job, Bella." Jasper winked.

Then Alice, who had been waiting impatiently at Bella's side after she had won nine matches in a row with Rosalie, quickly whisked her off to try on the stack of clothes piled up in her room. Bella looked desperately at the people in the room but everyone was too fond of their neck to go against Alice.

Bella quickly came to regret her impulsive decision in agreeing to submit to Alice's madness. She had rapidly discovered after a few weeks in their relationship that Alice's shopping fever would not, could not be subdued; in fact, the more Bella indulged the more monstrous it seemed to grow. After a while all the clothes looked to be the same while the stack never shrunk. What sorcery was this?

"Look at this shirt. Isn't it gorgeous? You should wear it with the blue jeans you wore last Tuesday. I-"

"Alice-" Bella dragged her name out peevishly, flipping unceremoniously onto the torturer's bed. The clothes bounced. Bella wanted to put a cheese grater to every one of them at this point. And was it really healthy that Alice knew every article of clothing she had worn for the past month while she couldn't even remember what she wore yesterday?

"Alice, I love everything you got me; you know that, and I promise to wear them all if I have enough time in my life to try on every single one of them. Can we please go watch the movie now?" Bella whined, uncannily sounding like a five year old.

"Okay, but you promised!" Alice put down the shirt and grabbing Bella's hand, hauled her off the bed and down the stairs. The movie was turned on loudly as the boys were still playing their game; there was more arguing than playing. Bella sat next to her beloved who immediately hugged her to his side.

As loud as the volume was, Bella still had to strain her ears to hear the movie. No amount of 'shush's, 'be quiet's and 'for god's sake, shut up Emmett!'s seemed to work.

"I'm concerned that this game would never end." Edward muttered dismally to Esme, who had come down to watch the movie.

"Are you now? Well if I were you, I'd be more concerned about the fact that a girl who's never played chess in her life just whipped your butt," Bella's voice wavered with the sheer effort in suppressing her laughter, but she kept her eyes trained to the screen. Edward glared witheringly at her while the rest of his family laughed freely. Bella soothed his wounded ego with a sweet kiss on his cheek, and all was forgiven. But Edward's forgiveness might not have been achieved so easily if he'd known that Jasper had been mouthing the moves at Bella behind his back. But what one never knows can never hurt, right?

…

It was dark now and Edward watched lovingly as Bella slept. As she started to stir uncomfortably, he tucked the quilt more securely about her and moved to sit in the rocking chair next to her bed. Sitting contently, it was a couple of moments before he again stuck his tongue out and attempted to fold it into a clover.

"Damn, how did she do that?" he breathed.

Let's just say that for the sake of this story, Edward was too concentrated in his game to notice Jasper's thoughts. Seriously, if you start to question the fanfic world, it all falls apart!

Thanks for reading, and remember that reviews make my day. Especially reviews that help my English test. 'Flight', guys! What kind of a prompt is that? I don't have any ideas. But if any of you are kind enough to offer a plot my teacher specifically told us not to write any morbid or suicidal stories. Thanks again!