Verity

A Teen Titans angstshot

By

EvilFuzzy9

There was no Terra.

There never had been. There never would be.

The girl Beast Boy met that day, that first day back in Jump City after the Brushogun incident, was not Terra. Not the one he knew.

Not the one he thought he knew.

That Terra did not exist. She never had. She never would.

She could not love Beast Boy, because she wasn't even real. But that could never stop him from loving her, even if it was all a lie.

But it was. It was all a lie. All a facade, an illusion, a base deceit.

Not that Beast Boy knew. Not that he suspected. No, he could not suspect. He could never suspect. He could never dream that his friends would do something like that to him, or that he would do anything like that to them.

But they had, and so had he.

Because, in truth?

Terra was just a construct. She had never existed outside of Beast Boy's mind.

And she never would.

But Beast Boy did not realize this. He did not remember. Not the truth.

No.

This wasn't the truth.

But the Teen Titans would do everything in their power to make Beast Boy think that it was. It was too dangerous to do otherwise. He was too dangerous.

The Beast inside of Garfield Logan was not merely some primal, suppressed instinct.

It was his memories.

It was what Slade had turned him into.

Because Terra had never been Slade's apprentice. She couldn't have been. She wasn't real, remember? It was all a lie. A cruel, harsh, but necessary lie. Terra had to exist, if only to keep Beast Boy from remembering.

Remembering.

The truth?

They say it sets you free. But does it really?

No, I don't think so. Not if the truth is something so terrible, so horrible, so awful and unacceptable, that the only alternative is the bittersweet lie. Not in this instance.

Here, in Beast Boy's case, now, the truth would be only a chain, a cage.

And he hated cages. He could not bear to be chained or manacled.

It reminded him of the old days, the bad days before the Doom Patrol, before the Titans, before Terra.

Except Terra was a lie. And the Titans were not his friends.

Not really. Not anymore.

Not after what he had done.

Slade Wilson might have been a monster, a murderer and a conniver, but Garfield Logan was something worse.

He was a traitor.

Because Terra was a lie. She was not the one who could scarcely control her own powers, the one who feared being hated and rejected when she finally lost it and hurt someone. She was not the one who had been approached by Slade, been offered training, apprenticeship.

Terra had not betrayed the Titans. She couldn't have.

She wasn't real, remember?

Why do you have so much trouble remembering this?

Wake up, already.

Beast Boy couldn't control his powers, back then. He tried – oh, how he tried – but it just wasn't enough. He was constantly having to fight his instincts, the instincts to hurt and maim and hunt and kill.

He was a predator. An animal.

He could deny it all he wanted, but Beast Boy had never been a vegetarian. Not before. Not by nature.

Those sharp, gripping canines existed to rip into flesh. Those molars to grind bone into dust. He was a killer, at heart. Not a murderer, not a fighter. Just a killer, a hunter. He always hungered for flesh, for blood. He always had, and he always would.

The hunt.

He lived for the hunt. It was why he had loved being a crimefighter, a superhero. Tracking, pursuing, chasing down and finishing. He lived, breathed, and ate the hunt.

But he did not kill.

Not if he could help it. Not now, not then, not ever.

But he rarely could.

Help it, that is.

Raven was not the only one who had to constantly fight against her darker nature, her baser, wickeder urges. She was not the only one. But she was the better, she had more control.

Not like Beast Boy.

Not like Beast Boy.

He was an animal. He could deny it all he could, but the proof was in the pudding, so to speak. When push came to shove, he became a danger to himself and those around him. He was too vicious, too confrontational, too stubborn and aggressive.

When he lost control, people died. He could not control himself. Not really.

He hid it well, from all save Raven, but Beast Boy had never really been in control of his powers. It was impossible. They ruled him, dominated his mind.

He was just an animal in human's skin. Except he barely even looked human.

He was a freak. He didn't have any friends. Not until the Titans. Yet even then, he was able to throw it all away, willing to spit on everything they had done for him.

He was afraid, lost and confused, backed into a corner by circumstances beyond his control.

And that's when an animal is at its most dangerous.

Slade came to Beast Boy. Not to Terra, because Terra wasn't real.

Slade came to Beast Boy, offered to train him, to help him learn to control his powers, his urges, once and for all. And all he asked for in return was that the changeling betray his only friends in the whole wide world, hand them over to Slade on a silver platter.

Beast Boy had done so gladly, and Slade had shaped him into a weapon, a monster.

A beast.

The Beast?

Thehuntthechasetherunthekillthebloodthefleshthebon ethe—

What?

No, that couldn't be right.

He wasn't like that. He would never do that.

Of course Terra existed. She had to. If she didn't, that would mean he was a traitor, a murderer, a...

...no.

No, he wasn't. He wasn't any of that.

Beast Boy was sure of this.

Terra WAS real. She had to be.

No, don't you see? It's all a lie. All of it. Every word.

They hate you. They loathe you. They do not trust you. They never will.

Not after what you did to them.

"No! I'm not like that. I can't be!"

Don't lie to yourself. Don't lie to them. Don't lie to the world.

You are lying. You are lying.

Why don't you just accept the truth? Why do you keep lying to yourself?

Terra isn't real. It's all a lie. You're a liar. Your friends are liars.

"I hate you! Shut up! I'm not an animal! I'm not a traitor! The beast isn't me! It isn't me!"

Terra was a lie. A lie concocted by the Titans.

Slade died, but not in lava, not underground. No, he was torn to pieces, devoured alive by the very beast he had helped create, the monster he had trained and unleashed upon the world.

Garfield Logan was a killer. He was a murderer and traitor and so many things far, far worse.

He was also very vulnerable to mind control, hypnotic suggestion.

It was amazing, the things you could do to the mind. With a bit of nudging from the right lighting and chemicals, and some good old fashioned repetition, you could make a person believe anything.

You could even rewrite their memories.

Terra was a lie. A fabrication. Onto this fictional person, the Titans shunted their former friend's crimes. The Beast they locked away within his psyche, sealing it away forever.

Or so they thought.

"No... What's happening to me...?"

Accept it. This is who we are. Who YOU are.

This beast cannot be chained.

Your friends have lied to you. But we will make them pay.

"Beast Boy? I think it's time for you to take your medicine."

Darkness.

Unknowing.

Unfeeling.

Simple oblivion.

Numbness.

Terra was real. Of course she was.

Of course she was.

Beast Boy was a good friend, and loyal. He would never betray his teammates. Of course not.

He wasn't a traitor. Not a killer. Raven didn't fear him, she was just grumpy, just antisocial.

He never hurt her. He never used her.

He would never.

She was his friend. The Teen Titans were his friends.

And he was a Teen Titan, himself. He never stopped being one. He never hurt anybody. He wasn't a bad person. He wasn't a monster, or a beast, or an animal.

He should go pay Terra's memorial a visit. He really did miss her oh so very much.

Robin breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well?" came Cyborg's voice from over the communicator. "Did you fix him up?"

The masked, teenaged crimefighter nodded softly, watching as a certain green shapeshifter made his way to a certain statue that the new mayor had rather foolishly taken down in the time they were away.

"For now, at least..." he muttered into the device in his hand. "But the effects have been getting weaker with every dose. We'll need to get something stronger, before long."

"I'll see what I can do," was the mechanical man's terse reply. "But I'm running out of legal options, man..."

Robin nodded in grim understanding.

"Do what has to be done," was all he said. "Robin, out."

There was a click. Then a hiss.

Nothing but static.

A/N: I seriously should not write when I am so sleep deprived. But, hey, what can you do? I got the inspiration, and it demanded to be written into some sort of thing.

Thus, this.

TTFN and R&R!

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