((Currently finished updating with edits done by tumblr user ohbbey as of Friday, July 18th, 2014. Big thank you to her for all of her hard work, go check out her blog! If you'd like to see extras on this fic, such as the cover and trailer, please go to chapter 1 of this fic on Archiveofourown. All the links are in the notes before the chapter begins. The link to my Archive profile can be found on my profile here. As always, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. :) ))

Castiel pulled the blue bandanna up around his nose and mouth, protecting himself from the dry, choking dust from the wagons in front of him. Clicking his tongue, he snapped the reigns lightly, urging on the obviously tired and thirsty oxen before turning to his wife, who was seated next to him; it was far too hot to remain in the wagon, and the breeze outside was cooling when the dust settled. She looked worn out, sore from rattling around on a hard wooden bench for weeks, but her eyes remained bright with curiosity and hope.

"Do you need any water?" Castiel called over the creaking of the wagons in front of and behind them.

Kate shook her head, smiling behind the handkerchief she used to protect her mouth and nose, the expression showing in her eyes. "I'll be fine for a bit, just hopin' we'll stop soon."

Castiel nodded and looked ahead through the thin cloud of dust, spotting a glimmer on the horizon. "I think we're in luck, we've reached a river. Should be stoppin' soon for a rest." He shielded his eyes against the sun, looking at the sky, seeing it was just barely noon. "It's too early to make camp, but we can have some dinner." Kate nodded, looking to the river ahead as she felt her stomach growl. "Sounds like a plan."

They reached the river in just under fifteen minutes, parking their small train of six wagons in a semi-circle facing the river. Castiel removed his bandana and jumped off the tall wagon to help Kate down, earning him a grateful smile.

"Can I help ya with anything?" He asked, taking off his hat to fan himself in the shade of their wagon. Kate chuckled lightly, shaking her head as she began the meal preparations. "I've got it, you go and rest."

Castiel smiled gently, watching her for a couple seconds as she pulled out a few biscuits and some jerky. She was graceful in even the simplest of tasks, beautiful even when she was covered in dust and grime, hair falling loosely from where she had pinned it up. How could he have gotten so lucky? With this thought he smiled, love sick for his wife of three months as he went to tend to the livestock.

The oxen drank thirstily, water mixing with frothy saliva as it dripped from their muzzles when they lifted their heads. Giving them each a generous pat, Castiel returned to the wagon to find Kate had made makeshift sandwiches for them. "Thank ya," he said, drawling ever so slightly on the words as he settled onto the dry prairie grass next to Kate, back leaning against one of the wagon wheels. They ate in silence, enjoying the light, cool breeze off the river as children ran to stretch their legs from being seated for so long.

Kate smiled, violet eyes bright as she looked to him, causing love and adoration to well in Castiel's chest. Reaching over, the blue-eyed man grabbed her small hand in his, giving it a squeeze. "I love you," he murmured softly, thumb running over the slightly dry back of her hand, earning him another beautiful smile. "I love you, too." Reaching over to cup her heat flushed cheek, Castiel felt the wheel shift slightly at his back and turned a second later with a concerned glance, finding one of the spokes beginning to crack.

"What is it?" Kate asked, concern furrowing her slightly damp brow at the expression on his face. Castiel frowned, sitting up to have a closer look at the problem. "The wood's rotting away," he replied, brow creasing. This wagon didn't have many problems but an extra wheel cost money and supplies they couldn't spare. Standing, he wiped at his mouth with the bandana that hung loosely from his neck. "I'm gonna go ask around camp, see if anyone has an extra they can spare."

Kate nodded, a look of empathy in her eye for the man who was working so hard to provide for them. After a few minutes of cleaning she sat wearily on the back of the wagon, shade cascading over her. It felt nice to simply sit and rest, to know that the life she had chosen was a good one, with a good man. Looking up from her thoughts, she stood as Castiel approached, noting he looked less stressed than before.

"The foreman says there's a town just beyond this river where we can get a wheel. It won't be cheap, but everyone says they're willing to pitch in a little money." Kate felt a smile break on her face, relief rushing through her. "Now that was nice of everyone. I'll have to make them all a good breakfast tomorrow."

Castiel nodded, taking her small hand once more. "How did I get so lucky with someone like you?" Kate shrugged, warmth flooding her chest at his soft blue eyes. "You were just yourself." Castiel gave her a smile and chuckled lightly at how caught up in love he was with her, motioning her to look to the river.

"We've gotta cross it today, shouldn't take more than an hour for all of us. Foreman's gonna check our wheel first, to make sure we're safe to go." At this, Kate looked slightly worried, eyes flicking over to the churning water. "Couldn't we wait till the water's a little calmer?"

Castiel opened his mouth, but was cut off by the foreman who had arrived to inspect the wheel. "There's nothing to worry about, ma'am, I've crossed this river many times. This is actually calm for this one. Just gotta have a strong team of livestock, and a good wagon, which I'm sure you have both of."

Castiel's chest swelled ever so slightly with the compliment, as he had worked night and day to gather the funds for the best and safest possible necessities for the trip. "Thank you, sir, I appreciate that."

The foreman nodded, walking over to the wheel Castiel had motioned to earlier. Inspecting the crack, he prodded at the imperfection lightly with the toe of his boot. "Well, Mr. Novak, you should be fine, it's not too big of a crack, just make sure you get it fixed in the next town. Castiel nodded, looking slightly apprehensive, but willing to trust the judgment of the man who had already made this trip three times. "Thank you."

The foreman tipped his hat, whistling loudly to gather everyone's attention as he made his way back to his own wagon. "Alright, listen up folks! We're gonna cross this river one at a time in an orderly like fashion, just like the last river. Now, as we all know, it could get a little hairy out there, so just keep calm and moving if you get a little off course. Keep your eyes set on the bank ahead, and make sure all your possessions are tied down properly. I'll go first, you all follow on my count." The camp all nodded in agreement, lining up their wagons to cross. Kate sat with Castiel up on the outside of their wagon, as it was the safest way to cross a river.

The first wagon made it across with a slight hitch, losing only a pot to the fierce river. It went on like this for two more of the wagons, until it was the Novak's turn. Castiel smiled, squeezing Kate's hand once before he drove the team into the water, the cracked wheel a worry he pushed to the back of his mind as the foreman said it would be okay for this crossing. However, when they were only halfway across the river, Castiel felt the wagon shift uneasily, a deathly crack thundering from under the water. Instantly his stomach sank, knowing it was the wheel. With only half of the river keeping them from the bank, he drove the oxen harder, handing the reigns to a wide eyed and frightened Kate.

"I'm going to go down there and see if I can't support it for the rest of the way!" He shouted over the roar of the water. Kate, not having a chance to respond before Castiel jumped down into the frigid, powerful water, could only helplessly hold the reigns and wait out the crossing.

Keeping a strong hold on the wagon against the churning force of the liquid, Castiel ducked his head under water, visibility difficult with the churning foam of the rapids. When a break appeared to show the wheel, his stomach dropped further at the sight: the wheel was completely cracked, and was moving quickly towards the damaged spot.

As fast as he could through the water, although his movements were dulled by the density, he grabbed the spoke and attempted to support it, foot coming out in a panic to set it. His efforts, however, wasted when the wheel turned once more and collapsed, causing the entire wagon to dip forward into the water. Castiel's eyes went wide in the seeming slow motion of the mishap, his grip being ripped from the wagon as it fell to it's side.

"Kate!" He cried out in panic when he resurfaced, his wife's name the only word he was able to get out before being sucked under by the current the wagon created. He struggled desperately against the water, his inner ears being crushed with the weight, limbs going every direction, controlled by the relentless and merciless force of nature. Lungs burning from lack of oxygen, Castiel watched the wagon and livestock be swept away, watched all of his belongings float and rush around him as his vision faded to black. No sound, no sight, the only sensation he felt before unconsciousness took hold was a hand grabbing frantically at his. Somehow, although extremely disoriented under the water, he could recognize the slender fingers, the gentle curve of the palm: Kate.

It was the last time he felt her hand around his.

Castiel woke with a jolt on the other side of the river, sand and grass under his clutched fingers. Confused and lightheaded, he turned over on the bank and promptly threw up water, coughing violently as he noticed the crowd of worried looking individuals around him.

"Mr. Novak, just try and breathe, we'll get you fixed up." The foreman reassured, stepping forward with a tone of urgency to his words. Looking up from his position on the bank, Castiel picked up a shaky hand to wipe his dripping bangs from his stinging eyes, wincing when his hand found a large welt above his eyebrow. He opened his mouth to speak, but only coughed harder, sitting up to get a handle on his breath. Almost instantly, his eyes raked over the river, watching as a wheel floated by, one with an all too familiar crack.

And just like that, it all came back, Castiel's face going pale with panic and fear as he forced himself to stand. The sudden movement causing him to become light-headed, Castiel turned and threw up what felt like gallons of water, black spots dancing in his vision. Wiping at his mouth a moment later, uncaring of his own physical state, he turned his panicked gaze to the foreman, only one question on his mind.

"Where's Kate?" The foreman's eyes went sullen, flicking up and down the rapid river once. "They haven't found her yet..." He informed, eyes trained on Castiel in detached sympathy. Castiel's eyes followed the foreman's line of sight down the river, disbelief welling in him. "No," he said, unaware that the broken syllable had even slipped from his lips. "No, she has to be up river somewhere, must've swam up on the bank, she's strong, probably safe right now just waiting for us to come find her." The words came out in a jumbled mess, Castiel's disoriented steps already stumbling through the sand, heading frantically down river.

The foreman stepped forward to put a steadying hand on Castiel's arm, whose head snapped up with panic filled features. "Mr. Novak, we already have teams of men down there searchin'. You need to sit down and rest, have someone take a proper look at you." Castiel shook his head firmly at the words, tugging his arm away as worry induced tears stung the back of his eyes. "No. I don't care about me right now, I care about my wife," he countered firmly, voice almost breaking when he tugged away to continue heading down the bank, stubborn in his panic driven state.

"Mr. Novak, I won't let you go down ther-" The foreman started, words cut off when his sight was filled by a man in the distance, carrying the slumped and unmoving figure of a woman.

Castiel turned back to the foreman to refuse a final time, confused by the sudden halt in his words. At the expression on the older man's face, Castiel's heart sank into the deep depths of his stomach, his own gaze turning slowly to be met by the horrifying sight. Instantly, his knees wavered beneath him, breath caught in an unreleased sob, shock overtaking his every emotion and physical feeling.

"Kate..." He whispered reverently, shock keeping his words and form from breaking as he broke into a run, each step bringing him closer to the sight of his worst nightmare, the sight of his horrific reality. He reached the man who was carrying her quickly, shocked tears blinding him at Kate's now pale face, blue lips, and sodden hair, which stuck to her forehead. "No!" He choked out, heaving her body from the other man's arms before collapsing to his knees, his wife's head falling back to expose her neck.

"No, please no," he pleaded brokenly, hand fluttering in disbelief to her chest, which was still with lack of breath. Faced with a tragedy he didn't want to believe, never wanted to believe, Castiel's chest tightened with grief, sobs wracking his body as he cradled Kate's lifeless head against his chest.

It had been a day. They had reached the outskirts of the town towards which they were headed, Castiel riding with the foreman in his wagon. He had slept outside that night, on the ground, not wanting to invade anyone's space or comfort as he cried himself to sleep. It didn't seem real, all of it, especially the next day, the day they had designated for her burial. He woke with a jolt from his water filled nightmare, body feeling worn by the simple act of crying the night before. Getting up now even posed a difficulty through the grief, his every joint and muscle protesting at the movement off the hard ground.

"We've got a few more men from town," the foreman started as Castiel rolled up his blanket, "to help us with the digging." The words were like a punch to the gut, and no matter how prepared he had been for them, they remained Castiel's reminder this wasn't a horrible dream. Nodding, he looked over to a nearby tree where a group of about five men were starting to dig, their work lessened by the spring rain softened soil.

"So, I know this isn't what you wanna hear right now, but we're movin' on tomorrow..." The foreman said carefully, sentence trailing off as blue, pained eyes met his. Castiel knew he had lost everything. All that he had worked two years for, his livestock, his supplies, his wagon, all of it was lost to the river and there was no way he could possibly keep going with them. Looking to the town in the distance, he quickly realised he would have to find some sort of job, live on the streets until he could find a place to live; until he could get another wagon and turn back home. "I'll be stayin' here," he informed, the foreman nodding in understanding. There was no way he could go on.

"I'll just come and get ya when they're done." The older man said, giving Castiel a cordial nod as he donned his hat once more, going to supervise the men. Castiel sat heavily on the back of the foreman's wagon, a headache beginning to form at the back of his eyes. How could this have happened? Anger rose in him at the thought, his memory instantly picking up on the foreman telling him it would be okay, as he had done this so many times before. Apparently not enough, for it had cost him his wife. Rage turning to bitter bile in the back of his throat, Castiel calmed his thoughts and put his head in his hands, rubbing the fatigue from his eyes, wishing he could silence the constant sound of scraping shovels in the distance.

It only took twenty minutes until the foreman came over to lead him to the site, only twenty minutes to dig his wife's final resting place. After walking over, Castiel was instantly met by a crude rectangle pine box in which Kate had already been sealed away. Holding back his tears in front of the other men, Castiel gave a nod, signaling for the men to lower her body into the deep ground.

"Would you like to say anything?" The foreman asked after a few minutes of deafening and uncomfortable silence, to which Castiel responded with a quick shake of his head. What there was to say, he wouldn't say in front of these strangers, especially in front of the man who gave him the okay for the river crossing.

As the loose, dark earth was heaped upon the light wood, the crowd of people began to thin, leaving Castiel with sympathetic glances and murmurs of apologies they didn't mean. Nodding to each of them, he was soon left to watch the dirt being piled upon the coffin, piled upon his wife. At the thought, tears sprung in his eyes, causing him to walk away from the working men, returning to his previous spot on the foreman's sedentary wagon.

He cried alone for a long while, silent sobs wracking his shoulders as he held a hand over his eyes to conceal the weak act- men weren't supposed to cry. Gathering his breath, he stared at the cracked ground and tried to get a hold of himself when a pair of boots interrupted his vision of the dirt before him. Wiping his eyes quickly, Castiel looked up at the face of an unknown man, revealing green eyes, short, light brown hair, and full lips. It took him a moment, but he soon realized he was one of the men who had dug the grave.

The man looked sympathetic towards him, but in a genuine way not shown by the rest of the crowd at the makeshift funeral. He didn't seem to be piteous, but instead seemed to be truly sorry for what had happened. Taking off his hat, the stranger held out his hand to Castiel. "Howdy. I'm Dean Winchester," he greeted, voice softer around the edges than most, a slight, deep drawl to his words. Castiel took his hand and shook it firmly, masking his face of emotion. "Castiel Novak."

Dean nodded in acknowledgment of his name, removing his hand from the other's grip politely. "I know I may be out of place here," he said, eyes flicking down to his boots for half a second in hesitation, "but I asked the foreman if you was goin' on with the group, and seeing as you aren't," he cleared his throat, trying to gauge Castiel's facial expressions, which remained blank, "I was wonderin' if you needed a job. I have a farm a couple miles outside of town and I need help. I can't afford to pay anyone, though, and seein' your circumstances, I wanted to offer you a deal."

At his words, Castiel felt himself become defensive and prideful, but forced himself to consider the opportunity; he didn't even know if there were other available jobs in town. "What's the deal?"

"Well, there are no rooms or solid jobs in town, and the way I figure it, we're both in need right now. So, what I'm offerin' is if I give you livin' space in my house, you help me with the work on my farm. I don't have a wife, so I would need some help inside as well with the cookin' and cleanin'," he went on, fingers playing idly with the hat in his hands, hoping it didn't sound as if he was offering up charity.

Castiel was quiet for a long while, simply considering the offer. He had nowhere to go, no job to fill, and worse still- he had lost everything. He was a broken man with nothing left. Sucking up his pride, he held out his hand to the stranger to shake. "Deal."

Dean took the other man's hand once more, face bordering on a relieved grin before he remembered the circumstances of the deal. "Good. We can go now, if ya like. I brought my wagon today, it shouldn't take us but an hour to get back."

Castiel nodded, pushing down the emotion that welled in his chest, the slight panic at everything new that was piling up on top of him. After a moment, he stood on rubbery legs, made his way to the wagon, and climbed up next to the stranger to head for the unknown place.