**Disclaimer: I am shamelessly using Rumiko Takahashi's and Konami's brilliant creations for my own personal entertainment. Their genius is much appreciated, and this is my outlet for showing said appreciation. It was time for Ranma 1/2 and the Suikoden series to make a baby anyway. Hope you enjoy :) **

Episode 1 - Rude Awakenings

As the humming sounds of cicadas and dewy morning air set in, Ranma slowly sits up from his slumber.

* #%&*

Seemingly out from nowhere, Genma drives a fast knee to Ranma's face mid-yawn. Ranma's head and back crash into the wall behind him.

"What the hell was that for?!" A foul mouth from a foul mood due to foul play. Ranma angrily wipes the blood from his mouth. Genma takes a couple steps back from Ranma's glare, but continues forward in his mission.

"A true martial artist must always be ready at any moment to defend his life! Haven't I taught you anything, boy?!"

He follows up with a couple quick punches, but Ranma catches both mid-punch. He pulls Genma toward the wall while side-stepping behind him to plant a very firm, pissed-off back kick in the center of Genma's spine.

*CRACK* * #%&*

Genma's legs turn to jelly as he slides down the newly imprinted wall to his knees.

"Today is NOT the day, Old Man. That move is gonna keep you still for half an hour. Long enough to eat your food too." Ranma swiftly turns off the light and closes the door behind him, leaving Genma to face the wall and really think about the consequence of his actions.

At the dining table, Kasumi puts her final touches on breakfast. Taking Nabiki's advice, she decides to fully implement plan "have some fun" by theming today's meal around smiles. With the last strip of nori perfectly placed, Ranma and Nabiki walk into the room.

Immediately, Nabiki stops in her tracks. There are perfect circles & triangles of onigiri with various smiling seaweed expressions. She even has fried eggs that look like they're smiling. How corny. Nabiki bursts into laughter.

Kasumi looks at her sister, eager for feedback, but is quickly interrupted.

"Aww man. Is this seriously it for breakfast?!" Ranma groans, as he grabs his pop's share of food first.

"Well, maybe you should tell your overly-violent Chinese friend to pay for these damages we keep covering, and then we can afford better menu options for you, Saotome." Nabiki glides over to her seat, lightly chuckling still at Kasumi's kawaii-factor. "In fact," she says cooly to Ranma, "you should go pay your friend a little visit and get our money."

"No way!Why is it always me anyway?! Shampoo and the old ghoul are always trouble..." Ranma swallows the last gulp of his dad's meal while shifting over to his own meal.

"Because you are the only freeloader here, and Shampoo only comes here because of you," Nabiki flatly replies.

Through a now very full mouth, Ranma tries to tell Nabiki how his dad is the freeloader and how Shampoo comes here to fight Akane too.

However, the mumbled message falls on Nabiki's selectively deaf ears, and she continues. "Come back with the money or I show Akane the pics of you and -"

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. I'M GOING."

Ranma swallows, and starts to move to his feet. Nabiki smirks at him, satisfied with his compliance. "That's a good boy. And don't take too long over there. Akane MIGHT think you went there for a date. Who knows?" Nabiki shrugs at him.

"Whatever. All you girls are nothin' but trouble," Ranma grumbles as he heads for the door.

As he makes his way to the Nekohanten, Ranma decides that his best course of action would be one that ends with a free meal. His worries disappear with every delicious thought of countless ramen combinations. Little does he know, Nabiki just added her estimate of the total cost for this morning's damages, as well as her "reasonably-priced" consultation fee, to the Saotome's tab. Genma, still paralyzed and facing the wall, realizes he must leave ASAP for an intensive 6 month training in the mountains. After breakfast, of course.

Fin Ep. 1