Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Future Perfect
By Hanane EL Mokkadem
A bleary eyed Harry Potter tiredly made his way towards the Great Hall. He'd looked for Hermione in the library to ask if she wanted to join him for breakfast, but gave up on his search when his stomach started making noises that, disturbingly, reminded him a bit too much of Ron on the nights he, Neville, Dean and Seamus, had to use four separate silencing charms to stop the snoring.
He hadn't even try to wake Ron knowing that he was dead tired and would only complain about being dragged out of bed on a Sunday morning.
Hermione had kept him and Ron up all night requesting they help her research. Harry complied because Hermione was his friend and he could vividly remember all the late nights she stayed up with him to help him study. It was only with Hermione's help that Harry made it through the Tri-wizard tournament without losing his life. Her constant support and knowledge was never wavering.
The other reason for going along with Hermione was her proficiency with a wand - the same wand she was pointing at him and Ron when she made her request.
Ron's motives for helping, beyond the fact that Hermione reminded him of his mother after the twins blew up her kitchen in one of their botched experiments, was that the research would be put to good use; showing all of Hogwarts just what a narrow-minded, evil git, Draco Malfoy really was. Ron thought sacrificing a bit of sleep to achieve that, was more than worth it. And since no one could accomplish that quite like Hermione could, he didn't complain. Much.
Harry too, loved seeing Hermione talk circles around Malfoy, though, it was starting to become a bit tedious.
Draco Malfoy was a slimy git by any definition of the word, and in his opinion, Hermione was only wasting her time trying to change him.
At first it was funny to see his best friend tying Malfoy in knots, making him re-think everything he thought he knew. Sure, Malfoy didn't listen, but it was still amusing to see Hermione make an idiot out of him.
Lately though, Harry was starting to worry about Hermione. He'd caught her giving Malfoy a look he came to know and dread. The same look he saw in her eyes when she found out about House Elves, right before she founded S.P.E.W.
Harry knew Hermione was starting to see Malfoy as a cause she needed to champion. The same way house elves were unable to change their lot in life by rebelling against their masters, Hermione saw Malfoy as someone who needed her help to change his ways. Malfoy, so like the house elves in Hermione's opinion, didn't know any better, and needed to be shown that there was another way. So instead of knitting him socks she decided to debate the issue of blood status with him, until she converted him to her point of view, or killed him.
Naturally, Harry was hoping for the latter.
Draco Malfoy was the son of a convicted Death Eater and bore the Mark of a Death Eater. Although the war ended, and Malfoy showed he wasn't a complete bastard by actually going out of his way to help him, Ron and Hermione during the war, Harry knew that he was still an annoying git and would probably always stay that way. If Malfoy's discussions with Hermione showed anything, it was that he still believed that rubbish his father fed him since the day he was born.
Harry, knowing Hermione as well as he did, understood that she would try to save the Slytherin and he worried about what would happen when she would come to the sad realization that Malfoy couldn't be saved. The debates between her and Malfoy that started out as a way for her to point out his narrow-minded beliefs to the world, somehow changed into showing Malfoy that what he believed in was wrong.
She was trying to save the stupid prat, and Harry suspected that he was beyond saving. He could only hope that Hermione wouldn't be hurt too much when she would inevitably find out she was wasting her time.
All thoughts about Hermione and Malfoy fled his mind when he smelled the enticing aroma of breakfast. He eagerly walked into the Great Hall but halted in his tracks when the familiar voice of his best friend greeted him. The shrill quality to her voice indicated she wasn't in the best of moods, and he couldn't help but wince, and sympathize with the recipient of her lecture.
"For Merlin's sake, Malfoy, try using that bloody brain of yours for once! There is no evidence that points at the decline of magic in Muggle-borns. I think the fact that I am top of every class in our year is proof enough of that!" she yelled, her voice pitched so high it would hurt for a dog to hear.
Any sympathy Harry previously felt fled at the sight of Malfoy. If there was anyone who deserved to be lectured by Hermione when she was using her 'Voice of Doom' it was Malfoy.
"There is an exception to every rule, Granger. You seem to be a relatively intelligent Muggle - but you're still a Muggle," Malfoy drawled.
"I am not a Muggle, you by-product of idiocy! I am a witch, and if you don't stop calling me a Muggle, I'll show you exactly why I'm called the brightest witch my age, you borderline Squib!"
"Granger, Granger, Granger," he drawled mockingly. "There is no need to resort to name calling. You shouldn't be ashamed of your Muggle heritage, in fact, you should embrace the filthy Muggles you stem from and go live in their world."
"I am no more ashamed about my parents being Muggle, than you are about your parents being cousins - which, you really should be, in my opinion. And I'm not leaving the Wizarding World, this is my world too, the magical world needs me and other Muggle-borns like me!"
"What the bloody hell gave you that idea?" Malfoy scoffed incredulously.
"You did! If we'd leave this world to you Pure-bloods your grand-sons would be marrying their own sisters, all in the name of preserving the blood lines," Hermione mocked. "You people need us and the new genes we bring in...unless you actually want to get married to your own sister and have children born as Squibs or with the intelligence level of Crabbe and Goyle?"
"I would prefer that, to my children having Muggle blood polluting their veins."
Hermione clenched her jaws in anger. "You know, Malfoy, this is getting us nowhere-"
"I'm pleased to hear you're accepting defeat, Granger. It was foolish of you to think that a mere Muggle could outwit the sole heir to the Malfoy line," Malfoy said puffing his chest.
Harry thought he looked ridiculous. He shook his head at the stupidity Malfoy was displaying by thinking Hermione was going to give up so easily, and made his way towards the Gryffindor table. He received a curt, absentminded welcoming nod from Neville and couldn't help but grin to see the forgetful boy quickly turn back to Hermione and Malfoy's verbal duel, not wanting to miss anything. The rest of the Great Hall was similarly entranced by Hermione and Malfoy's debate. It had quickly turned into the students and staffs favorite morning entertainment; like watching the telly while eating breakfast.
"Oh please, as if I would ever accept being defeated by the likes of you," Hermione scoffed. "I'm talking about the fact that you are never going to submit to the reality that the wizarding world does need us."
Hermione crossed her arms and ignored Malfoy's scoff. "How can you believe me when I tell you that Pure-bloods giving birth to Squibs is the result of faulty genes that are caused by inbreeding, if you don't even know what genes are?" she questioned heatedly.
"How can I make you understand that the fact that most Pure-blooded couples only give birth to one child is because of inbreeding, when you don't understand basic Muggle knowledge. Muggles understand the results of inbreeding, they have known them for quite some time because they have seen and studied this problem. It's why marrying your cousin is never a smart idea, and highly discouraged."
She absent-mindedly rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath. "The wizarding world, will in time, have no choice but to face this problem, but I fear that by then it will be too late."
Harry looked at Hermione with pride evident all over his features. It turned into a small puzzled frown when he noticed Hermione's expression. Harry couldn't help but think she looked...defeated, but he didn't understand why. As far as he could tell she was kicking Malfoy's arse all over the Great Hall.
"When they finally open their eyes, study the evidence - birth records for instance - and notice how few children are born, and how a fair percentage of those children are born Squibs, they'll have to face it," Hermione continued.
"Knowing the stupidity and morals of many Ministry workers, and of the Pure-blood families, they will then introduce some drastic new law, forcing Muggle-borns to marry Pure-bloods, and force them to procreate, turning us into nothing but mindless breeding slaves. Forcing us to suffer become the solution to a problem you created!"
Hermione stopped to take a deep breath. That felt...wonderful, saying that, knowing everyone's listening to you, knowing you're right, knowing you've rendered your greatest enemy speechless, if the look on Malfoy's face was any indication.
"Never!" Malfoy yelled.
'Huh, maybe not so speechless after all. Well...it was nice while it lasted', Hermione thought slightly irritated.
"I don't care if my Pure-blood wife gives birth to an entire platoon of Squibs, there is no bloody way I would ever willingly marry a Mudblood!" Hermione could hear the scraping of chairs when the Gryffindors took offense to that insult and started to rebel, Harry's angry voice being the most vocal among them.
"Whether you're willing or not doesn't factor into this, Malfoy. In all probability at that point in time you will be wiling, but if not, the Muggle-borns are not the only ones the ministry can force into this. When they introduce a marriage law - and I say when because I know they will - you're going to have to comply whether you want to or not."
The Gryffindors calmed down when they saw their Head-girl wasn't fazed by Malfoy's insult.
"I said it once, and I'll say it again; NEVER, Granger! They will never force me into a marriage with a Mudblood, especially not someone like you!"
Harry, listening to his friend argue, couldn't contain his anger any longer. "Shut up, Ferret! You should be so lucky to have someone as wonderful as Hermione even look at you, you bloody prat!"
Malfoy turned to watch his childhood nemesis stomp over to him, ready to curse him, but he didn't care. What Granger told him hit a little to close to home, the only way he could react was by insulting her.
"Whatever, Potter! You marry her then, if she's such a catch. I wouldn't touch her if the Dark Lord himself came back to live and ordered me to. The thought of actually having to procreate with her is making me hurl, it will never happen, you hear? Never!"
At the word never the Great Hall shook with a loud bang, as if to emphasize Malfoys words.
"What in Merlin's name is that?" Hermione yelled.
Harry watched as the students in the Great Hall started to panic, but were calmed by a loud yelling McGonagall to take their seats. "Voldemort," Harry said softly, but still loud enough for Hermione and Draco Malfoy to hear. "He's probably heard Malfoy being a git from beyond the grave, and came to order you two to start making babie- and I can't even finish that sentence with a straight face," he choked, laughing himself silly at the alarmed look on both of their faces.
"Oh very fucking funny, Potter," Malfoy sneered. "Sod off, you bloody git."
"Well it was to me, you should've seen your face," Harry grinned.
"Honestly, Harry, you can't make those kind of jokes about someone who's actually managed to come back to live once before," she turned to Draco with a small frown and muttered, "I blame the couple of minutes he was officially dead in the Forbidden Forest. It's obvious what the lack of oxygen did to damage his brain."
Draco snorted. "No I'm pretty sure Potter has always been a bit of a nutcase, and Merlin knows it didn't get any better once those Weaselys started influencing him, it's a wonder you still possess half your brain, Granger."
"Oi," Harry objected, giving Malfoy a little shove.
Malfoy was all to ready to shove back but was stopped by Hermione. "Enough," she said firmly. "We need to find out what's going on and we don't have time for your usual antics."
She started to say more, but stopped when she saw a bright blue ball of light appear in the centre of the Great Hall. "What the bloody hell is that?" she gasped, trying to walk towards it to take a closer look.
"I have no idea, Granger, but let's not lose our heads and walk towards the pretty light of death, shall we?" Malfoy said stopping Hermione from doing just that. Harry started to tell him to let go of his friend but stopped when he heard the sound of voices coming from the ball of light.
The Great Hall was completely silent, all eyes were on the ball of light, wands pointed towards its direction, offensive spells ready to be released at the first sign of trouble.
"That's it, this is the last day of my life! My dad is going to do me in, quite painfully I might add, and my mum, oh Merlin...I'm doomed," a female voice whinged dramatically.
"Oh shut it, Cassie! Just get us out of this mess, will ya? My dad an uncle Ron promised me they'd practice Quidditch moves with me today, I need all the help can get if I want to get on the house team."
"Oh nice, Potter! Is that all you think about? We're going to die! If it isn't from this spell, then it'll be from our parents, and you're worrying about making the house team, you need to sort out your priorities, you git."
Hermione turned to Harry. "Potter?" she asked startled. "Uncle Ron?"
"Oh come off it, Cassie! You know you're going to be your usual brilliant self and get us out of this mess, I'm just asking you not to take your time, that's all," the boy answered with confidence.
"I don't know, James, I'm not sure I can get us out of this one. Bloody hell, mum told me not to touch her things, why couldn't I have listened instead of following you in another one of your hair-brained schemes?"
"Come on, Cassie, Aunt Hermione always tells you not to touch her things, when do you ever listen?" the boy asked still unconcerned. Hermione turned back to Harry again. "Aunt Hermione?" she asked sounding more and more confused.
"But this time she specifically told me if I'd touch it, I would be in danger, she wouldn't have said that if the spell was harmless. This is all your fault James Potter, and I hope you're fully aware of the fact that I'm not going to be blamed for this, not after last time." the girl said sounding dangerous.
"Come off it, Cassie, you can't still blame me for that!"
"I do, and just so you know, so does Uncle Severus."
"Why would that matter? That bloody bat always blames me for everything anyway."
"Because you usually are the one to blame, you git. And don't call my uncle a bat, or I'll hex you into the next century."
Harry, Hermione and Draco all simultaneously turned to look at professor Snape standing a couple of feet behind them,, wearing a very strange expression on his face. This time Draco was the one to ask. "Uncle Severus? You reckon they're talking about Snape?"
Before anyone could answer him one of the voices started talking again "Did you hear that? It sounded like my dad?"
"Well, if we are to be caught, uncle Draco is our best bet of coming out of this without any permanent damage to our ears. I shudder at the thought of Aunt Hermione catching us, or worse my mum."
Malfoy gaped in shock. "Uncle Draco? What the bloody hell is this?"
"Did you hear that?" The girl shrieked excited, "It's my dad. Dad? Dad it's me Cassie! Can you hear me?"
Draco turned to look at Hermione helplessly. Hermione glared at him and nodded urging him to answer.
"Um, yeah, uh Draco Malfoy here, who am I erm... speaking to?" he said lamely. Harry glanced at him before quickly smothering a laugh.
"Dad!" the girl screamed a the same time the boy said, "Uncle Draco, it's James and Cassie, we're sorta stuck in big blue ball of energy, and we'd really appreciate it if you could get us out without telling mum what we've been up to."
Malfoy tiredly rubbed his brow. "Dad, uncle Draco...right..." he turned to Harry, "You! Everyone seems to think you're our bloody savior, how about you get this, I promise, I'll get the next one."
Harry smirked at him. "I'm not the one being called 'Dad' and 'Uncle Draco', so no, I really think you should take this."
Before he could gloat some more he was startled by two voices yelling, "Dad," and "Uncle Harry!"
Malfoy smirked. "Seems like I'm not the only one being called 'Dad' here, Potter."
Malfoy's smirk was wiped of his face when the big blue ball of energy started to turn white. The light blinded his eyes, causing Malfoy to close them, when the light faded, the blue ball of energy was gone leaving a boy and girl lying in a heap on the floor in its wake.
Malfoy studied them carefully before turning to Harry and Hermione. "So, you reckon they might be those aliens you Muggles always write about?"
Hermione turned to him in disbelief while Harry snorted. "Yeah Malfoy, I think yo might be right. Look at that one pretending to be a girl, she looks a lot like you don't you think? She could be your clone," he said while studying the girl with a scrutinizing gaze. "Is there anything you want to tell us? Were you perhaps abducted by those fiends and exposed to a bit of experimenting and anal probing?"
Malfoy choked in his own saliva. "What?"
Harry grinned evilly. "Merlin, Malfoy, there's no need to be ashamed, this was something that was done without your consent, at least I bloody well hope so. If not, well, I reckon it's okay if you enjoyed it a little, you've always seemed like the type that could appreciate a little anal probing."
Harry's last word came out with a gurgle because Malfoy was choking him to death. "So barbarically Muggle, Malfoy. Your ancestors must be doing the macarena in their graves," Harry gurgled tauntingly, resulting in Malfoy tightening his grip around Harry's throat.
"Bloody hell, they're at it again," the boy said exasperatingly.
"Language, Potter," the girl snapped disapprovingly, hitting him on the back of his head.
Hermione, completely focused on the two kids that were slowly getting up from the floor, frowned at the familiar tone the girl used. It was as if the reprimand came out her own mouth. She's certainly had to use that tone of voice often with Harry and Ron around. She ignored Harry and Malfoy's antics and mentally went over everything she heard.
The kids were watching Harry and Malfoy's argument with a big grin, making bets on the outcome.
The boy was a Potter, there was no doubt about it. What had the girl called him again, James Potter?
Bloody hell! He spoke about his Aunt Hermione, his Uncles Ron and Draco, he must be Harry's son from the future.
And the girl...
The girl was hers. Hers and Draco's...
Merlin's saggy left nut, she had a child with Draco Malfoy!
She couldn't believe it, the evidence was pretty much staring her in the face, but she was resolved to ignore it, like she learned to ignore Ron's eating habits after all these years. Only she hadn't really, because after all these years she still wanted to strangle Ron for eating like a disgusting pig.
She turned to look at Malfoy and a very red-faced Harry. She was pretty sure Malfoy hadn't connected the dots yet like she was pretending she hadn't. If he had she doubted he would waste his time trying to choke Harry to death. Knowing him he'd probably bawl his eyes out at the injustice in the world.
She turned back to look at the girl who was her...not-daughter. Hermione had to admit the girl was beautiful. She possessed all the good qualities of both her and Malfoy, and if what her friend - James, probably Harry's boy - had said, she was quite brilliant too. Hermione could only thank Merlin her not-daughter had obviously inherited her intelligence. Sure Malfoy was pretty intelligent too, but he lacked common sense, so it didn't really count.
"Dad, please stop before Mum curses you silly. You too, Uncle Harry."
Hermione knew she couldn't pretend anymore. The girl addressed Malfoy as her father and indicated that she was her mother.
'Bloody fucking hell.'
Apparently Malfoy seemed to have caught on if the look on his face was any indication.
"What the bloody hell are you looking at me for? I'm not your father."
Harry groaned. "Blimey, I think I'm going to be sick," he muttered looking from the girl to Malfoy and back to Hermione with a look of horrified comprehension. "Malfoy and Hermione having sex. With each other. Somebody kill me? Please?"
"Uhm, Cassie," the boy, James said hesitantly.
"What?" she snapped, looking at Malfoy with a confused look on her face.
"I think we took a wrong turn somewhere, I reckon about fifteen years ago."
"What?" the girl asked confused, " What are you on about, Potter?"
Hermione felt like fainting or vomiting, she wasn't sure which. Her daughter, hers and Draco's.
"Look at 'em, Cass. They look a bit young, don't you reckon? And why the bloody hell would our parents be wearing their old Hogwarts uniforms. I think we may have...uhm...traveled back in time? Just a little."
Cassie turned to James with a murderous scowl. "James Severus Potter, I'm going to kill you!" she screamed, and just like her father earlier started to throttle Harry's son.
"This is all your fault! I should have known not to do anything you say, why do I keep listening to you and mad ideas?"
"Because they're fun?" James suggested, choking on his words.
"Wait, wait, wait...what?" Malfoy suddenly yelled. "You're my daughter? Mine and Granger's?"
Cassie stopped mid-throttle. "Uhm...yes?" she said hesitatingly.
"So I marry Granger, Hermione Granger? And we have one child?" Malfoy asked hysterically.
He looked like he was about to faint and Hermione could only sympathize. This was the worst news she had ever received. She'd be happier to hear Voldemort had returned than to hear she married Malfoy.
Harry was still groaning and rubbing his temples like he was trying to expel the thought of Hermione and Malfoy having sex out of his mind. Hermione was wondering if it helped, maybe she would give it a try. Anything to erase the nauseating images from her mind.
"Uhm, no, actually."
Hermione looked like she was just offered a full access pas to the Library of Alexandria, Malfoy looked at Cassie like she was his new goddess, and Harry looked like she'd just handed him the fastest broom ever created.
"You have three kids, not one, and Mum's pregnant with the fourth."
The entire Great Hall was silent.
"Four times," Harry whimpered, breaking the silence. "They had sex four times. Why, Merlin?"
Malfoy looked nauseated. "So you mean to tell me Granger was right all along? The Ministry of Magic really will issue a marriage law?"
He didn't know what was worse, Granger being right about everything, or having to marry the witch. On second though, marriage to Granger was definitely worse.
Cassie looked confused for a second, before grinning widely. Malfoy wanted to whimper. She looked so much like him, but had Granger's smile. At least she was beautiful. And she hadn't inherited Granger's bird nest hair.
"Yeah they did," his...daughter grinned proudly, "But then you and Mum joined forces and made them eat their law."
But if they hadn't gotten married because they were forced then...
His daughter must have read the unspoken question on his face because she answered. "After working together for so long, you and Mum fell in love, and married each other anyway."
This was too much for Draco. He whimpered softly and fell into a dead faint. Harry Potter followed him after softly whimpering, "Voluntarily...more than four times...need bleach for my brain...''
Hermione's gaze traveled between her best friend and future husband uncomprehendingly before she too fainted.
The entire Great Hall remained silent in shock until Ron Weasley walked in. He looked at his two best friends and Malfoy lying on the floor and looked at the shocked Professor Mcgonagall in confusion.
"What's up with them?" he asked curiously before looking at the Gryffindor table. "Ooh, bacon sausages and eggs, my favorites," he said happily, running to the Gryffindor table and forgetting all about his friends.
"Uncle Ron!" the two time-travelers yelled simultaneously.
A/N: Let me know what you think? This one-shot came out of nowhere. It was fun to write though. If you see any mistakes please let me know? It would mean a lot.