Emerald Gaze
The next day was torture. Edward was once again surrounded by people. They assumed that he was the hero in all this, that he pulled me out of the way and saved my life.
I personally suffered glares from all the girls and a few longing glances from the boys. But they were still smart enough not to approach me.
What made it worse were the disdainful scowls Rose sent my way and the general confusion Jasper felt about the situation. He personally didn't know why I was resisting. Alice had probably told him about her supposed outcomes and wanted to know what I was waiting for. It was death either way for the boy; why was I drawing out the inevitable?
But he didn't understand, he didn't know what I know. That this life is a curse. We have lost our souls and I would not condemn this child to the same fate.
I was determined as I walked into the Biology room that day. I sat, already holding my breath and took out my book, as usual. I pretended to read but I couldn't stop myself from listening as each person entered the room. I was listening for him, of course. And finally, he came, rain boots squeaking. As he sat down, he looked over to me pleasantly and said, "Hey, Bella." He even gave me a crooked smile that almost melted my resolve.
I could not let him get involved with me, I could not give him anymore attention. So instead of smiling and starting a conversation like I wanted to, I barely looked into his direction and gave him a slight nod. Then I turned back to my book, looking for all the world as if I was extremely interested in the words I have read thousands of times.
Edward stared at me for a moment, confused and I could see a blush creep up the back of his neck and reaching his ears. But he did not say anything else. He turned back toward the front in a huff and folded his arms across his chest. It saddened me to see him angry at me, but it was better than the alternative. So I let him be angry.
After class was over I left the room without a single glance in his direction. This was how it needed to be. He was human and should spend his time with humans, I was not. So, even though I could tell he was upset and even though he still watched me throughout the days, I ignored him. At least during the days.
The nights were mine to stare and memorize his face. I memorized the way his jawline came to form around his lips and how his brow puckered in his dreams and how no matter how disheveled his hair was, it just made him more handsome. I particularly enjoyed how he talked in his sleep. He would talk about his mom, the heat of his old home, and every now and then he would say my name. As he said my name, his voice would ring through my body like an electric pulse. I loved him. But I was determined to love him from afar.
Alice soon grew annoyed. "How long are you going to ignore the inevitable, Bella?" she growled at me as I entered the house after another night at Edwards.
I just passed her to change in my room. She threw her hands up in frustration. Then walked over to stand by Jasper, rubbing her temples.
She has already complained about how I had successfully muddled the future. She could still see the 2 distinct futures but about a dozen shadowy futures had now presented themselves along with the 2 more solid ones. They flinted around the 2 and made it hard to see what would happen. It gave her a headache. And she hated me for it.
The next couple of days added another frustration to the dangerous game I was playing with Edward's future. The school's spring dance. It was ladies choice. I got to watch as almost every single girl Edward had ever made eye contact with asked him out to the dance. Each time I waited, holding my breath to see if he would say yes. But every time he said no and gave an excuse of being out of town that evening.
Was he really going to be out of town? Why would he choose that weekend to do errands? Or did he have a specific person in mind to go to the dance with?
I was deep in these thoughts during our one class together. Without knowing it I was staring at him while trying to unravel these mysteries surrounding him that drove me insane. Suddenly he turned to look at me, catching me staring. I know I should have looked away, but something about his stare caught me. Electricity flashed between us. For the first time in weeks I was looking into his eyes, his brilliant green eyes and I couldn't look away.
Only when the teacher asked me a question was I able to break the gaze I was captive under.
"The Krebs Cycle." I answered using some of my air reserves, hoping Edward didn't notice how breathless I sounded. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that I sounded that way because I was running out of air, I couldn't ignore the fact that I still had plenty of oxygen in my lungs and my head was still dizzy from staring into his emerald eyes.