And it's time for song parodies! This rather hilarious parody was written by Beri, my sister who sometimes guest-writes songs. It's based on the song "There! Right There!" from the musical Legally Blonde. Any ensuing madness is not to be blamed on me, naturally. Obviously some lyrics changed to fit the circumstances and syllables and so I present to you:
Con? Or Politician?
Arcee:
There! Right There!
Look at that shiny, metal skin.
Look at that killer shape he's in.
Look at that ridiculously pointy chin.
Oh Please he's a Con, totally Con.
Ultra Magnus:
I'm not about to carry on.
Every drop of energon
Could lead to a Bot and not a Con.
This guy's a Bot, I say, not Con.
All:
That's the Insecticon in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
That a mech who wears perfume
Is automatically radically wrong?
Wheeljack:
But look at his smooth and calming voxx.
Arcee:
Look at his wings still in their locks.
Ultra Magnus:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what you're wishin'.
Arcee:
What're we wishin'?
Ultra Magnus
Is he a Coooooon?
Arcee:
Of course he is!
Ultra Magnus:
Or politician?
All:
Ohhhhh.
Con or politician?
It's hard to guarantee.
Is he Con, or politician?
Ironhide:
Well he, don't look at me!
Chromia:
You see they bring their mechs up different
In those charming foreign runs.
They play peculiar sports
All:
With rockets and with laser guns.
Con or politician?
The answer could take weeks.
They'll both plan to stab you in the back,
While they kiss you on both cheeks.
Arcee:
Oh please.
All:
Con or politician?
So many shades of gray.
Ironhide:
Depending on the time of day,
Kaon goes either way.
All:
Is he a Con or politician?
Decepticon or politician?
Or-
Airachnid:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is an Auto-lotto jerk!
That's guy's no Con, I say no way.
All:
That's the Insecticon in the room.
Well is it relevent to presume
That a Seeker in that costume
Arcee:
Is automatically-radically
Ultra Magnus:
Ironically-chronically
Chromia:
Scurtinly-curtainly
Ironhide:
Genetically-netically
All:
CON!
OFFICIALLY A CON!
OFFICIALLY A DECEPTICOOOOON-
DANGIT!
Con or Politician?
Ultra Magnus:
So stylish and relaxed.
All:
Is he Con or politician?
Ultra Magnus:
I think his helm is waxed.
Chromia:
But they bring their mechs up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse
All:
If his eyes are red or wings reversed.
Con or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Moonracer:
Yes, his accent is hypnotic
But his pedes are pointy-toed!
All:
Huh.
Con or politician?
So many shades of gray.
Judge:
But if he turns out Autobot, I'm free on Saturday.
All:
Is he a Con or politician?
Decepticon or politician?
Decepticon or-
Wheeljack:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
Ultra Magnus:
The floor is yours.
Wheeljack:
So Mr. Starscream...
This alleged covert op with Optimus Prime has been going on for...?
Starscream:
2 years.
Wheeljack:
And your first name again is...?
Starscream:
Starscream.
Wheeljack:
And your accomplice's name is...?
Starscream:
Rattrap. *splutters*
I'm sorry! I misunderstood!
You said accomplice, I thought you said secretary!
Rattrap is my secretary!
Rattrap:
You liar!
You dirty rotten liar!
That's it.
I won't cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I gots a big announcement.
This mech's a Con AND Politician!
And neither is disgrace,
Yous gotta stop ya bein
A completely closet case.
It's me not Prime he works with
No matter what he'll say.
I swear he never ever ever swings the other way.
Yous such a Con,
You carry on!
You dream of beating Megatron!
Starscream:
I'm an Autobot!
Rattrap:
You were not yesterdawn.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's a Coooonnnn!
All:
And politician!
Rattrap:
Decepticoonnnnn!
All:
And politician!
Rattrap:
He's a Coooonnnn!
All:
A political Decepticon!
Starscream:
Fine! Hail Megatron!
All:
Hail Megatron!
Starscream and Rattrap:
Fine, okay. We're Cons!