OKAY! Well I spit the story up and I will do that at the end of each season I think... anyways here you go. Please do not be mad if you don't like what I have done but you can write a reveiw and rant about... just don't stop reading please! Shit is about to get real! Thanks xo

I went off the rails and dove back into the hunter life. I cut my hair just above my shoulders, dyed it black and cut bangs across my forehead to try and conceal the two claw marks I had scared into my cheek. I even got my anti-possession tattoo touched up. I jumped from motel to motel. Bobby didn't like it but he handed me off cases and I hunted. I wasn't the same person I was three months ago

My speciality? Demons. I could send them back to hell in ten seconds flat. I was faster then any hunter and I was better than most. I jumped from motel to motel. Used fake I.D's and everything. There was no SSA Agent Clara Walsh anymore. I was angry and needed to take it out on something... so why not the things that cause the pain.

Bobby and I were in touch almost every week. As smart as I was, he was a better hunter and knew more than I did. Sam would call when he was in trouble but that hadn't been for a while. The first month I was a mess. I would stay up all night looking for a way to bring Dean back. I killed to many crossroad demons to count and I drank more then I should have. But then something made me snap into hunter mode. It was something I saw.

She was only maybe ten. Blonde curls and big blue eyes. Her name was Alice and she was full of life. I had run into her family on a case. vengeful spirit of a co-worker and they were next on the list. I was talking to the parents when Alice came skipping up to me. "Hi" She smiled missing a few of her teeth.

"Hi." I said back to her.

"You look sad." She said as she stood in front of me with a confused face. "Are you ok?" She asked putting a hand on mine.

I smiled at her. "Yes I'm fine."

"Did someone hurt you?" She asked.

"No. Nobody hurt me. That's my job, i prevent people from hurting others." I explained.

"Oh... I was watching a movie last night and at the end the prince died before he could tell the princess he loved her. She was sad because she loved him. You have the same face. You both are sad." She said. "Did someone not tell you they loved you?" She asked.

"Alice." Her mother tried to stop her.

"No it's okay." I smiled. "Actually Alice it's the other way around. He died before I could tell him."

"OH no..." She gasped. "Maybe a fairy will bring him back so you can be happy." She smiled.

"Maybe." I sighed. She the skipped away.

That little girl was smart but there was no fairy that was going to bring Dean back. That's when I decided I needed to try and forget. It wasn't easy. My nightmares had come back and now it was just me watching Dean die over and over again. I ran on little sleep but I still did my job. Sam stopped calling after the first month and I understood. I wasn't exactly running to call him either.

My friends at the BAU were looking for me but they wouldn't find anything. I had hidden myself well enough with tricks I learned from the FBI. I still kept my phone and they would call and leave a message but I couldn't answer to go back just yet. I needed to make sure my head was on right and the demon who sicked the hellhounds on Dean was dead. I still had no idea what it had wanted with me and so far no word. Bobby had looked into what I could be used for but he had found nothing. So I just moved on. I got the job done and I was good.

No matter what I killed or how many monsters I took down there was still a piece of me missing. I will admit it was the Winchester boys but last I heard Sam was back in Illinois. Word travels fast when you run into hunters. They have big mouths too. Some say Sam had become one of the best hunters of the generation. Most say we both were but I had a bad feeling about him being back in that city. I tried calling but he didn't answer. I didn't even leave a message.

It was a few weeks after that when things started to change. My nightmares turned into just whispers and bright white lights. The room would shake every so often and so many voices would come at me all at once. Not just when I was asleep. It happened when I was at a gas station or about to ram a knife through some monsters neck. I didn't understand what was going on so I called Bobby.

"White lights and whispers?" He asked.

"Yeah and they're not just dreams... like I'm awake and the room shakes." I sighed.

"Well I'll look into it but I have never heard this before."

"You and be both." I said. " Hey have you heard from Sam?" I asked.

"Yeah a few days ago. He was finishing a job in Illinois."

"Why is he still there? It's been like two weeks." I asked. "Is he still trying?"

"I don't know." Bobby sighed. "What about you? How you doing?"

"Just peachy Bobby." I laughed. "Once the voices stop I'll be better." I sighed. "Get some sleep too I guess." I shrugged.

"You should go talk to Sam." Bobby said.

"I think I will. Thanks Bobby. Call me when you find anything."

"Yea I will." He said. "Good luck finding Sam." He sighed before hanging up.

The next morning I headed out to Illinois. I searched every crappy motel until I found a fake name Sam usually used. I smiled as I made sure to hide my gun. It had been a few months, who knows if Sam still trusts me or anyone else. Plus I don't exactly look like the Clara he left behind. I walked up the stairs to room 207. I knocked but no one answered. So I knocked again.

I waited for a second and then I heard someone inside so I knocked again. "Pretending not to be home doesn't work if I know you're in there!" I called out.